Love to Hate You: Chapter 20
As I shove the key in the lock to let us in to the apartment, I’m slammed with the realization that Noah won’t be home until tomorrow night. Ashley dragged his ass to a wedding or anniversary party. Frankly, I hadn’t paid too much attention to the details, I was just glad they didn’t involve me.
I flick on the lights in the living room as Daisy strolls past me. My eyes drop to the sway of her ass, and it hits me again that it’s just the two of us here. Alone. I jerk my gaze away and head to the kitchen for a glass of water to douse the fire burning inside me. I’m slightly buzzed and need to sober up.
Daisy’s tipsy, too. More so than me. She’s smiling and humming a song under her breath. Something I can’t quite make out, probably because it’s out of tune. That girl has many talents. Singing isn’t one of them.
When she beelines for her bedroom, my muscles loosen, and I sigh with relief. The best thing I can do is go straight to bed and stay away from her until Noah returns.
“Night.” I roll my shoulders, trying to release some of the pent-up tension that had accumulated while spending the last couple of hours with her. As much as I’ve loved tonight, it’s a fucking killer. I want to claim Daisy for my own and can’t. It feels vital that I keep my distance.
Which sucks.
She throws a glance over her shoulder. “I wasn’t planning to go to bed yet. I’m just changing into my pj’s.”
Oh.
Well, shit.
That’s not good.
Although my cock thinks it’s a fucking fantastic idea, because I know exactly what her pajamas consist of. Daisy hits the door to her bedroom to close it, but it doesn’t shut all the way. There’s a six-inch gap that allows me to see into her room.
As tempted as I am to make my way over there, my ass stays put in the kitchen where it belongs. Instead, I guzzle a glass of water and pace. Spending any more time with Daisy is a disastrous idea.
Nothing good will come of it.
Not.
One.
Damn.
Thing.
As soon as she returns, I’m going to tell her I’m exhausted and hitting the hay. It’s not a lie. I am tired. Spending three hours on the field under the blazing sun will zap your energy. Decision made, I spin around when I hear her pad into the living room. I open my mouth, but the only sound that escapes is a groan.
Daisy’s wearing a hot pink tank top that hugs the curves of her breasts. As if that weren’t bad enough, she’s got on little black shorts that make my dick hard every time I see her in them.
Hell, all I have to do is close my eyes and imagine those fucking shorts and I’m at full mast.
Her hair is loose around her shoulders and her eyes sparkle like the Caribbean Sea.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I am so screwed. If she’s trying to bring me to my knees, she’s doing a fine job of it. I avert my eyes because gazing at her is like staring directly at the sun.
It’s blinding. Dizzying.
I need to get away from her before I do something stupid.
Oblivious to my inner conflict, she plunks down on the couch, grabs the remote, and turns on the television. “Wanna watch a movie?”
Hell no.
Abso-fucking-lutely not.
“Sure,” I say.
I’d like to wring my own neck right now.
She flashes a smile, and I feel awestruck because I can count on one hand how many times Daisy has given me a genuine smile. Including this time, it would be one.
“What do you want to watch?” she asks.
I shrug and gravitate toward her. “I don’t care. You pick.”
“Okay,” she singsongs. “Just remember that when we’re an hour into some chick flick and you want to off yourself.”
I settle on the couch leaving about a foot of space between us.
That’s more than enough room, right?
Daisy clicks through a few movies until she finds the one she wants. We watch the preview and she raises her brow in askance. I nod, and she cues up the movie. Twenty minutes in, my muscles gradually loosen, and I relax, losing myself in the mindless humor of the rom-com we’re watching.
This isn’t bad.
What was I so worried about?
I’ve been around this chick since freshman year and nothing has happened because I haven’t allowed it to. And that, right there, is the key. As long as I keep that in mind, everything will be fine. The wanting may never go away, but that doesn’t mean I have to act on it.
Because I’m distracted by the girl next to me—the way she looks when she’s laughing, her fresh floral scent, the way she glances at me to see if I’m laughing as well—it takes about forty minutes until I realize that the main characters in the movie like each other but are constantly bickering and pushing each other away.
Oh, for fuck’s sake. Seriously?
I shift on the couch and give Daisy a little side-eye, hoping she hasn’t picked up on the similarity of our situations. Although, she’s not the one pushing me away. She’s reacting to me being a prick. There’s a difference.
I drag a hand over my face, needing this movie to end so I can retreat to my room for the next twenty-four hours. By the time the credits roll, I’m a nervous ball of energy. Naturally, the main characters got it on and worked out their issues, before living happily ever after.
I almost snort.
If only it were that simple. Some issues are insurmountable. They can’t be wrapped up in an hour and a half. Life is messy, and it’s not fair. Sometimes, no matter how much you want someone, it’s just not going to happen.
This is one of those times.
Grabbing the remote, I turn off the television. I glance at Daisy, ready to put this night behind me. The TV screen is blank, but she continues staring at it. Her brows are drawn together like she’s trying to work through a problem in her head.
I’m not going to lie, it’s a little disconcerting.
“So…” I jerk my thumb toward my room. “I’m off to bed.”
I can’t get away from her fast enough.
“Feeling super-duper tired,” I add in case she didn’t hear me the first time.
Her gaze slides to mine. “I know we agreed to forget about the past and move on, but I can’t. I want to know what your problem was with me.” She pauses for a beat. “I need to know.”
“What?” I laugh, but it comes out sounding choked and high-pitched. “I told you that it had nothing to do with you. It was all me. Okay?” I don’t wait for a response. “Great. Glad that’s settled. Now we can go to bed.”
Daisy shakes her head as her frown intensifies. Her gaze pins me in place. I’m powerless to move. To breathe.
“Come on, Carter. Just be straight with me.” She angles her body toward mine. “Whatever it is, I won’t be mad.”
I close my eyes and suck in a breath, but it doesn’t do a damn bit of good to calm me. “There’s nothing to tell.”
“That doesn’t make sense,” she insists. “I don’t understand why we can’t talk about this like adults.”
Christ, she’s like one of those yappy little dogs with a bone.
Let it go, woman!
Move on!
“Just drop it!” I snap.
“I can’t.” She straightens her shoulders and glares. “There has to be a reason why you treated me like crap. I want to know what it was.”
I press my lips into a tight line.
“You’ve always been such a prick. Why?” She shakes her head, her hair bouncing around her shoulders.
I’m tempted to reach out and—
Her tongue darts out to moisten her lips and the movement all but kills me.
“Please, just tell me.” Her eyes cloud. “Your behavior…it’s always bothered me.”
“I…” There’s nothing I can say to make her understand without revealing too much of myself, and I can’t do that. I need the walls between us to stay firmly in place. Because without them…
I don’t even want to think about what could happen. The damage that would be inflicted.
“I’m a prick to everyone,” I mutter.
“That’s not true.” Her voice rises. “You’re nice enough to the girls you sleep with.”
This isn’t a conversation I can have with her. She has no idea what kind of Pandora’s box she’s trying to open.
I shoot to my feet. “This conversation is pointless. I’m going to bed.”
Her mouth drops open as I stalk to my room. I need some distance, so I can wrangle my emotions back under control again. I’ll be damned if I’m forced into admitting something that won’t do either of us any good.
“I never took you for chickenshit,” she yells.
I spin around to face her. Anger and desire rush through my system. “Excuse me?”
She jumps from the couch. Our gazes lock as she closes the distance between us.
“You heard me.” The closer she gets, the further she tips her head back to meet my eyes. “You’re a chickenshit, Carter Prescott. I don’t understand why you can’t just be honest with me. What’s the big deal?”
I clench my hands into fists to stymy the need to reach out and grab hold of her, to haul her body against mine.
But I can’t do that.
She’s not mine.
Daisy will never be mine.
Those thoughts slice through me like a razor. Pain radiates throughout my entire being.
Why can’t she just let this go?
Doesn’t she realize that I’m holding on by a thread?
When I remain silent, she comes at me again with, “You’ve spent all these years pressing my buttons and pissing me off. There has to be a reason for it.”
I don’t know why I expected anything different. This is quintessential Daisy Thompson. It’s one of the qualities I admire most about her. When that girl wants something, she won’t rest until she has it.
It’s called tenacity, and it’s hot as hell. Except in this instance, when she’s doing her best to wear me down.
She takes another step toward me, and I stand my ground. When she reaches out to touch me, I grab her hand before she can make contact. My fingers wrap around her wrist to hold her in place. I don’t think I could stand to feel her fingers brushing across my skin.
“Just tell me the truth,” she implores. “Don’t I deserve that much?”
My heart stutters.
As much as I want to give her what she’s asking for, I can’t. “There’s nothing to tell. There never was.” I shrug. “You’ve had too much to drink.”
Daisy laughs and shakes her head. “Come on, Carter. You know that I’m not drunk. Maybe I was buzzed earlier at the party, but I’m not anymore.” She steps closer, but I don’t release her wrist.
“Go to bed,” I plead. “And we can forget this conversation ever happened. Okay?”
Once I crumble, there won’t be any turning back.
She takes another step until her breasts press against my chest. “Is that what you want?” Her other hand rises and cups my cheek. “To forget?”
God, no.
I shake my head as my gaze drops to her mouth. She nips her bottom lip with her teeth. How many times have I dreamed about doing that?
Too many times to count.
“Fuck,” I mutter.
The walls I’ve built around myself tumble down more easily than I could have predicted. Whether this is a good idea or not no longer matters because it’s going to happen. There’s no stopping it.
My arm snakes around her, yanking her close enough to feel my erection against her belly. “Is this what you want?” I rasp in a last-ditch attempt to scare her off.
Part of me prays she’ll shake her head and tell me no. If she does, then I can walk away, and we can pretend this was just drunken stupidity. Maybe I need to call her bluff. Daisy jerks her wrist free from my grip, and I wonder if I’ve finally pushed too far, if this will be the moment she comes to her senses.
It should be a relief. A narrowly averted disaster. But it’s not. Disappointment rushes through me, nearly swallowing me whole.
Instead of untangling herself from me, she places her other hand against the side of my face, reaches up on her toes, and presses her lips against mine. She doesn’t close her eyes but watches me the entire time.
And just like that, I’m lost.
My hands drop to her backside and lift her off the ground. Her legs wrap around my waist. Her pussy is flush against my cock. She whimpers at the contact, fusing her mouth to mine. Our tongues mingle, retreating and thrusting.
I don’t realize that we’re in my room or that I’ve closed the door until I lower her onto my bed. The unthinkable has happened. My iron-clad control has snapped. I search her lust-filled eyes knowing there’s no turning back.
Not anymore.
“You better be damn sure you want this,” I bite out.
Those harshly spoken words hang in the air between us as I wait to see what she’ll do next.