Lights Out: A Dark Stalker Rom-Com

I crashed through the undergrowth with all the grace of a water buffalo. Twigs snapped beneath my heels. Birds shrieked overhead, announcing my presence. I ignored it all and kept on sprinting.

Right now wasn’t about stealth; it was about speed. I was being hunted, and if I had any hope of escaping my fate, I needed to put as much distance between myself and the man who chased me as possible.

The midsummer sun sat high in the cornflower blue sky, baking the forest with its heat. Sweat beaded along my forehead as I leaped over a fallen log and kept on running. The trees were laden with leaves, their lower branches reaching out to grab at my hair and clothes as if trying to slow me down, and the air was so humid that I could feel it pressing in on me like a weighted blanket.

I put on another burst of speed, defiance burning through my veins. Josh was not going to catch me. Why the hell had I made that bet with him? I must have been out of my mind at the time or suffering from sex-induced diminished capacity.

Was that even a thing?

Six months ago, I wouldn’t have believed it possible, but since then, I could think of several times that I’d been dicked so good I’d briefly forgotten how to do basic things like walk unaided or solve simple math equations.

The wager was straightforward: if Josh caught me within the next twenty minutes, I lost.

I really didn’t want to lose. Losing meant making my first-ever appearance in one of his thirst traps, and he would have full creative license over exactly how I took part. Knowing him, he’d use it as another chance to needle me, and I would either be embarrassed by it or become the internet’s most hated woman for the second time in less than a year.

That would happen over my dead body.

Maybe literally, if I didn’t start paying better attention to where I was going.

I skidded to a stop just before a drop-off. A glimpse over the edge revealed a long, steep descent into a boulder-filled ravine. My heart nearly fell out of my ass as I realized how close I’d come to having a Very Bad Day.

I glanced behind me. Shit. I must have gotten off the main path somehow and ended up on a game trail. Doubling back would cost me precious minutes I couldn’t spare, so I forged onward, following what looked like another game trail that ran parallel to the ravine and further up the hill. I had to slow down because of how close it skirted to the ledge. One wrong step could send me tumbling over, but I took heart in the knowledge that if I had to be careful, so would Josh.

As much as I didn’t want to lose, part of me couldn’t wait for him to catch up so the chase could start for real. He’d given me a five-minute head start. To be sporting, he’d claimed. He’d grown up in the boonies, after all, and some of his fondest memories were bonding with his stepfather during their camping trips. Rob was a country boy through and through, and Josh had learned a ton from him about tracking animals and how to survive if he ever got lost in the wilderness.

I didn’t know anything about bushcraft, but I did have two advantages on my side: speed and endurance. I’d been a sprinter on my track team in high school, making it to the state championships my senior year. Unbeknownst to Josh, I’d spent the past three months skipping the gym two days a week to go to a local track instead. I alternated between sprint and distance training, pushing myself to the max because I had no desire to make this easy on him.

Yes, I longed to be hunted down and fucked in the forest, but I wanted the full experience more than anything. I wanted the chase. I wanted to make Josh earn the right to claim me. From the hungry gleam that entered his eyes whenever we discussed our plans leading up to today, he wanted that just as much as I did, and I couldn’t wait for him to let his darker side out to play.

We didn’t have many rules, but the ones we’d agreed on were iron-clad, and if either of us broke them, we forfeited. First and foremost, there was no cheating. We had GPS trackers on us in case we got lost, and promised not to check them unless an hour passed without Josh finding me. Dirty play was forbidden as well. We couldn’t throw sand in each other’s eyes or try to set booby traps – not that I would even know how to go about doing that.

The last rule was that only penetration counted as a catch. If Josh caught up to me, I could still win if I managed to keep his dick out of me until time ran out.

On paper, it toed the line of dubious consent, but I was more than into it, so maybe it was more like con-dub-con? Plus, Josh was adamant that all I had to do was tell him to stop, and he would. Just like always.

Part of me hoped it came to a knock-down, drag-out fight for dominance. I loved the idea of him physically overpowering me, and we’d had so much fun with orgasm denial and edging that trying to keep him off me would only make me wetter for him.

Not that I wasn’t already soaked.

I’d been primed and ready to go since the second I stepped into the trees, turning to blow a goodbye kiss at Josh and telling him not to go easy on me just because I made him feel weird in the tummy.

He’d barked a laugh and told me to run, and the sight of his eyes darkening with desire sent me sprinting into the woods.

Initially, I’d wanted to do this at night to really play into the scary vibes, but we’d decided it was too dangerous. The risk of tripping over something and either spraining an ankle or knocking ourselves out just wasn’t worth it.

A sound pulled me from my lustful thoughts, and I spent a heart-stopping moment thinking Josh had found me, but it was only a squirrel fleeing up the side of a nearby tree. I refocused my full attention on the narrow path, breathing a sigh of relief as it started to veer away from the ravine and widened enough that I was able to put on more speed.

The trail continued to pitch upward, heading higher into the foothills of the mountains. I crested a small rise and pounded down the other side of it, spooking a deer and her fawn when I reached the bottom.

A brook ran through the center of the gulley, and I decided to hurdle it instead of taking the time to find an easier crossing. My toe caught on an exposed root when I landed on the other side, and I nearly went sprawling face-first into the dirt.

I paused for a second to catch my breath and make sure I hadn’t pulled anything. When it seemed like I’d escaped unharmed, I took off again, lifting my watch to check the time. I nearly yelped when I saw that I’d been in the woods for a quarter of an hour. The timer officially started when Josh entered, so technically, we were now halfway through the hunt. He’d been on my trail for the past ten minutes, and even though I hadn’t seen or heard him, I couldn’t shake the thought that he was gaining on me.

The man was huge, and we’d worked out together enough in his apartment’s gym that I knew he was fast for his size. I regularly drooled over the sight of him sprint-pushing a three-hundred-pound sled from one end of the gym to the other, and I could only imagine how much faster he’d be without all that weight holding him back.

I strained my ears and started being more careful about where I placed my feet, avoiding as many sticks as possible. Whenever I thought about forests, I always imagined them full of birdsong, but it was eerily quiet so deep in the trees, and it made the sound of my passage all the more obvious. Last year’s fallen leaves littered the trail, crunching beneath my heels. Branches rustled as I pushed between them.

The upside was that if I was being loud, someone who outweighed me by nearly a hundred pounds was probably louder, but I’d long since learned my lesson about underestimating my boyfriend, so my senses remained on high alert, waiting for some warning that he was nearby.

I heard nothing but the noises I was making and the occasional nattering squirrel or pissed-off blue jay. The quiet made me paranoid. I imagined hands reaching out of shrubs, ghost steps racing after me. A shiver licked down my spine that made me feel like someone had just breathed on the back of my neck. I whipped my head around, but there was no one in sight.

Good thing we hadn’t done this at night because it was unnerving enough in broad daylight. My heart thundered in my chest. Adrenaline pumped through my veins, urging me onward and up over a rockfall where I had to grab onto saplings to pull myself forward.

Why the hell did I have to choose this route? The hunt was becoming less of a run and more of a hike, and while my endurance was great on flat ground, my legs were already starting to burn from exertion. It made me feel even more unbalanced, jumpy and nervous, like a rabbit with a fox on her heels.

Hoping to spare my aching legs, I took a sharp left near the top of another hill and abandoned the trail to run through the woods along the hill’s wide peak. This high up, the old-growth forest was more conifer than broadleaf, and the understory was sparse enough that I could see hundreds of yards ahead. The trunks of pine trees rose around me like matchsticks, clear all the way to the canopy far above. I’d be able to see Josh long before he reached me.

It was perfect.

I slowed to a quick walk, grateful for the soft needles carpeting the forest floor, silencing my steps. The time for speed had passed. Now was the time for stealth. With any luck, I’d be able to hear Josh coming and either hide or take off back down the mountain, letting gravity do most of the work and saving my energy for when I hit flat ground and could sprint again.

I might have been prey, but I was smart prey, and I was going to make my predator work to catch me.

A sharp snap echoed through the trees.

I turned around and nearly screamed.

Josh stood less than a hundred feet behind me with a broken stick in his hands. I wasn’t proud of it, but he caught me so off guard that I froze. Where the fuck had he come from?

He stepped toward me out of a cluster of shadows, looking huge and ominous in his dark clothing. Had he gotten bigger since we’d been together? His biceps strained against the sleeves of his tee. Corded muscle climbed up his arms. Like me, he wore running pants to protect his legs from getting scratched, and they pulled taut over his tree trunk thighs.

Yeah, he’d definitely gotten bigger. I bought that t-shirt for him two months ago, and from the way it strained across his chest, he’d either gained weight or it had shrunk in the wash.

The son of a bitch wasn’t even breathing hard. He’d managed to sneak up on me so soundlessly that he’d intentionally broken a stick to give me a sporting chance. As I watched, he tossed it aside, a victorious grin splitting his handsome face.

It felt like he was mocking me.

Oh, hell fuck no.

Like a shot, I was off, as annoyed as I was afraid. I’d gone through all that trouble to make this good for the both of us, and the bastard had found me the second I stopped running.

His laughter chased me through the forest.

It was too late to hide, too late for strategy. I ran on instinct alone, my arms pumping at my sides as I drained my last reserves. The trees blurred around me. My feet flew over the forest floor. I caught sight of a dense scramble of shrubs and beelined toward it.

“Oh, no, you don’t!” Josh called, his feet pounding against the ground as he gave chase.

Despite how hard I was pushing myself, I heard him gaining on me. It was tempting to glance over my shoulder and check how close he was, but I worried that slowing down even half a second to do it would spell my demise. Every step felt like it could be my last. My shoulders stiffened as I braced against being tackled from behind.

Fucking run, bitch, I told myself, pushing through the pain to put on one final bid for freedom.

A masculine growl hit my ears as I approached the scrub brush.

Holy shit, was I going to make it?

My gaze snagged on a barely-there game trail bisecting the dense thicket, so narrow it had probably been made by rabbits. It was the only way through I saw, and I didn’t have time to look for another route.

Here goes nothing.

I plunged straight into it, ducking to avoid the higher brambles and lifting my arms to protect my face. Briars snagged at my pants. My arms burned as prickers ripped across my skin. A crash sounded behind me, followed by a frustrated yell. It was too narrow for Josh to follow.

Triumph and anticipation coursed through me as I pressed on.

Part of me wanted the chase to last forever, while another part couldn’t wait for the fight to start. Dampness coated my panties. My breasts felt full inside my sports bra, longing for Josh’s touch. Despite my renewed efforts to win, my body was prepared to lose, turning supple and pliant.

I burst out of the other side of the thicket back into sunlight and angled downhill. The brush hadn’t been that deep, but it was wide, and Josh would lose precious seconds circumnavigating it. Seconds that I planned to use to my advantage.

I pushed harder, half running, half sliding down the hill back toward the gully with the stream. Somewhere behind me, Josh had probably rounded the thicket and could see me getting away. He had the advantage of sight, of knowing just how fast he’d have to sprint to reach me. I was forced to move on instinct alone, putting every last ounce of energy into blindly fleeing and hoping it would be enough.

He couldn’t catch me. Not yet. It felt like an hour had passed since I’d last looked at my watch, but I knew that was because of the chaos of the chase. I couldn’t risk checking it again. All I could do was pray that my legs held out long enough to get me over the finish line.

My hair whipped around me, pulled free by the brambles. I could feel the first burn of blisters forming on my heels. Each breath I took was more ragged than the last. I could do this. If I just held out a little longer, I could win.

A dark shape tore out of the trees to my left, and this time I really did scream as Josh plowed into my side, tackling me around the waist like a goddamn middle linebacker. I’d told him not to go easy on me, and, fuck, did I regret it now. All the air in my lungs burst out of my mouth in a rush as we went down. He managed to turn midair, taking the brunt of the fall when we landed, but it still hurt like a sonofabitch. Rocks bit into my skin. My head bounced off the ground.

“Shit,” Josh groaned. “Aly, are you o-”

I slammed my elbow into his stomach.

“Kaaay,” he wheezed, his arms loosening around me.

I struggled free from him and scrambled to my feet, trying to bury the regret that threatened. I hoped I hadn’t hurt him too badly. The goal was to have fun getting rough; not seriously injure each other.

An iron vice clamped around my ankle, and I had just enough time to realize Josh had grabbed me before a vicious yank pulled my leg out from under me, and I went pinwheeling forward.

Motherfucker.

I slammed into the ground, catching most of my weight on my hands and knees.

Owww.

I didn’t let the pain slow me, twisting onto my back as Josh dragged me toward him. He looked both pissed off and turned on, and it sent my pulse ratcheting up another notch.

I had to get away, but, god, the temptation to give in was strong.

Sorry, baby, I thought, lifting my free leg.

Josh’s beautiful brown eyes flashed wide when he realized I was about to kick him in the chest. I pistoned my foot down, but he released me and rolled sideways just in time to dodge the blow. I spun the other way and surged to my feet. He must have been one step ahead because he snagged my arm and spun me back around.

I was halfway through breaking his hold when he grabbed the back of my head and hauled me forward, crashing his mouth into mine. It was almost my undoing. My body recognized him as its main supplier of orgasms. Sex hormones rushed into my veins, my hypothalamus giddily triggering the flood. Despite my desire to get away, my lips popped open on instinct, welcoming him inside.

He swirled his tongue against mine, backing me against a tree.

I moaned into his mouth, clawing at his shirt as I pulled him closer.

His erection pressed into my belly, long and hard and –

Shit! What was I doing?

I stomped on his foot.

He swore and hopped backward.

I turned and fled down the hill.

Just like that, the chase was back on.

The forest was thicker here, broadleaves creeping in, their lower branches whipping against me as I fled past. Good thing I had the next week off. I was going to need all that time to heal afterward. I could already feel bruises blossoming over my skin from our brief tussle, and I was sure I had more scrapes on me than the night we’d fled from Brad’s house.

No. Don’t think of him, I told myself. Thoughts of him aren’t welcome here. This is just for me and Josh.

The sound of pursuit reached my ears, and…was Josh laughing?

I smiled as I stumble-ran down the last few yards of the hill. He was right; this was a fucking blast. I might have been minorly annoyed with him for finding me so quickly, but it only made me want to up my game for next time. Maybe I could find a survival course and learn to slip through the woods like a ghost.

The sound of rushing water told me the stream was just ahead. It came into sight a second later, looking wider than where I’d first crossed it. That was okay. I was moving so fast that I was sure I could vault it again.

Trouble was, Josh was moving even faster. The snap of a stick told me he was only inches away before his fingers snagged the back of my shirt. I twisted, trying to break free, but his momentum carried him into me. His big arms banded around my waist, and we stumbled, feet tangling, and fell.

Straight into the goddamn water.

Cold! Fuck, it was cold!

Though it was barely a foot deep, it felt like I’d been dumped into an arctic lake. The brook must have started high up in the mountains, where white still capped the tallest peaks.

I came up spluttering, my mouth full of water. If I contracted giardia, I was never going to forgive Josh for having such shitty timing.

He grabbed my ankle and hauled me toward him. My ass hit about a dozen river rocks along the way. I tried to kick him, but he snatched my other foot out of the air, fingers clamping down and biceps straining as he fought to keep me still. His show of strength was impressive as hell.

I had to get away, or I was done for.

I stopped fighting him and surged forward instead. He wasn’t expecting it. I plowed straight into his chest, knocking him over backward into the water. His hands popped loose, and I started to scramble away, only for him to grab my pant leg and tear a huge hole in it as he dragged me back down.

More splashing ensued as he tried to get ahold of my slippery flesh, and I tried to get the hell away from him. We must have looked ridiculous. Like two lost salmon ineptly flopping around as they attempted to unravel the mystery of which way was upstream. Thank god this section of forest was far enough away from civilization that we were the only humans for miles around, and there was nothing but confused forest creatures to witness our idiocy.

I would have laughed if not for the genuine threat of becoming a guest star in Josh’s next video. People online were mean. And also a little scary. There was an ongoing discussion in one of his comment sections about where we might live based on the glimpses of the city they’d seen out his windows. We’d stopped filming near them in response, but that didn’t mean web sleuths weren’t still trying to find us.

If I could avoid giving them more fodder, I would, which was why I needed to get away. Now.

I managed to slip free from Josh long enough to flip onto my front and scramble forward on all fours. I’d barely made it to the muddy edge of the brook before I was tackled again. This time, Josh put all his weight into it, flattening me like a pancake. I floundered beneath him, trying to throw him off, but between the slimy mud and the fact that he was well over two hundred pounds, it was a lost cause.

He managed to grab both my wrists in record time and pin them over my head, holding them in place with one oven-mitt-sized hand.

Shit. I was going to lose.

A dozen jujitsu moves flashed through my head, but each one could cause serious injury, and as much as I wanted to win, I could never bring myself to hurt Josh like that. And nor could he, I realized. Josh was even more skilled than I was in martial arts, but he hadn’t used a single move on me either, which was why we’d resorted to slap-fighting like a couple of amateurs.

Still, I wasn’t ready to give up, so I bucked my hips sideways, trying to throw him off.

He dug his fingers into the hole in my pants and ripped upward, tearing them to my waist. My underwear got unceremoniously yanked aside, and I had just enough time to realize what was happening before he surged into me with a brutal thrust.

I cried out, both from surprise and relief.

Josh froze behind me, tension in every line of his body. “Are you done fighting, or do you want me to give you another chance?” He ended the question by rocking his hips forward, showing me what I’d be missing if I made the wrong decision.

The sharp sound of an alarm rose around us, our watches beeping in tandem. My time was up. He’d won with seconds to spare, and there’d be no more chances for me.

Instead of answering his question aloud, I turned my alarm off and arched my spine, lifting my hips enough for him to slide in another inch. My pussy clenched around him, trying to drag him deeper. I wanted it hard, rough. He’d run me down like I was prey, and now I wanted him to fuck the last of my resistance out of me.

He groaned, the hand pinning mine loosening but not letting go. “You did so good, baby.”

With a snap of his hips, he thrust into me harder, deeper, and even though we’d been doing this for months, I still felt like he was going to split me in half.

“I loved chasing you,” he said. “Loved that you were smiling the whole time.”

Was I? Even when we’d been fighting? Damn, I really needed to work on my poker face.

Another thrust and Josh was hilt deep. It felt like he was close to hitting the back of my teeth. I loved it. Loved being so filled that I could barely breathe, barely think past the initial sting of discomfort and the way my body had to work to take all of him.

“You’re soaked, Aly,” he said, his voice rough with lust. “Did you like being hunted?”

“Yes,” I moaned.

“You liked getting run down like prey.”

It wasn’t a question, but I answered him anyway. “Yes.”

“Spread those legs for me, then. Show me how much you like getting caught.”

“Make me,” I told him.

He froze for half a second, but I could tell from the way his dick twitched inside me that he liked the idea. The hand pinning mine pressed down even harder while the other gripped my hip. He yanked me up with him as he repositioned us, and then used his knees to shove mine even wider, one after the other.

And then he was moving, driving into me deeper, harder. The angle made me feel every inch of him thrusting inside. My pussy quivered, a tremor wracking my spine. The way he pinned me left me with almost no leverage. All I could do was angle my pelvis and push back against him as his movements picked up speed.

His hips snapped against my ass. We knelt at the stream’s edge, water rushing over our lower legs, mud squelching beneath our knees. The smell of the forest filled my nose, the scent of pine mingled with dirt and fallen leaves. My back heated where the sun beat down on me.

Yes. This was what I wanted. To be pinned like an animal out in the open, with no inhibitions and no thoughts in my head besides how well my boyfriend fucked me.

“Harder,” I said.

Josh grabbed my hair and hauled me up by it, his fingers tangled in my strands as his thrusts turned punishing. My mouth fell open as I stared wide-eyed at the woods around us. Sunlight fell in dappled shafts along the gulley floor. Moss clung to nearby rocks. The sound of our ragged breathing filled the air.

There was something so primal about it, so right.

I thought I wanted this because of things I’d read in paranormal romances involving werewolves, but now I wondered if my desires went deeper than that, were more instinctual. This was how our ancestors fucked, rough and desperate in stolen moments between hunting and being hunted, giving it everything they had because they didn’t know if they would live to see the next sunrise.

It made a strange sense that I craved it, and I felt like the luckiest woman in the world to have a boyfriend willing to play into my every fantasy.

“I love you,” I said, punching my hips backward.

Josh groaned, his fingers tightening in my hair. “I love you, too, but don’t say it again, or I’ll come.”

I grinned. “I love you.”

He thrust into me so hard that I slid an inch forward in the mud. “I’m serious, Aly.”

“I love –” Another ruthless thrust had me gasping. Words of praise and devotion started pouring from my mouth as he fucked me closer and closer to the edge. “I love you so much. I love being your prey. I love how easily you overpowered me. I love that your cock is almost too big. I love feeling it get even bigger inside me right before you come.”

Josh’s thrusts became frenzied. I moaned, almost senseless with need as my pussy spasmed around him. Tremors wracked my whole body. I clawed at the mud, trying to find purchase, desperate to ground myself through the pleasure that was building inside me. Usually, I needed more than this, clitoral stimulation or nipple play to push me over the edge, but Josh was fucking into me so deeply that he was about to trigger my favorite kind of orgasm: the brain-melting, spine-buckling, knees-shaking, titties-bouncing, pussy-soaking cervical orgasm.

And then he yanked my head up higher and bit my neck.

I hadn’t been expecting it, and the brief flash of pain paired with the thrill of feeling teeth sink into me sent me to new heights, frantic, needy sounds falling from my lips. My mind blanked. My ears filled with a buzzing noise as I slammed my hips backward. I was coming. I was coming so hard that all I could do was writhe, my pussy clenched so tightly Josh could barely move.

And then he was coming too, his cock lengthening, stiffening, warmth flooding into me as he unloaded deep inside. The feel of it prolonged my orgasm, or maybe it triggered a second. All I knew was that I’d never felt so good for so long, and I never wanted it to end.

We came down slowly, together, breathing like we were still running. Josh lay draped over my back, his forehead resting against my spine. The sound of his exhalations filled my ears. I felt his heart pounding against my ribcage.

I’d never felt so connected to someone before, never loved someone like I loved him.

“Marry me,” I said.

Josh stiffened. “What?”

Panic punched into me, chasing away the afterglow of sex hormones and dumping me straight back into reality. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.

Josh pulled out of me, the warmth of our climaxes slipping down my thighs. This was why people shouldn’t speak right after they came. They overshared or said foolish things their partners weren’t ready to hear.

“I’m sorry,” I said, scrambling up and trying to tug my ruined pants back into place. My fingers were slick with mud, and I was shaking so badly that I could barely grip the wet fabric.

Josh was quiet behind me.

Shit! What had I done?

I spun toward him, expecting the worst, and found him kneeling on the forest floor. One hand lifted, something in it catching the sunlight and sparkling.

I clapped a hand over my mouth and took a disbelieving step toward him. It was a ring. Josh was holding a ring. A stunning ring with a center ruby that looked like a large drop of blood framed by tiny diamonds. It was perfect.

“Alyssa Cappellucci,” he said. “Will you marry me so I can spend the rest of my life chasing you?”

I lowered my hand, grinning, joy replacing panic. “I thought people got married because they wanted to stop chasing someone?”

He shook his head, his expression serious for what felt like the first time in our entire relationship. “Not me.”

“Not me either,” I said, reaching him in two strides and dropping down to throw my arms around his neck. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Ten minutes later, we were cleaned up and heading out of the forest. I’d taken us so far off the beaten path that we had to use GPS to find our Airbnb.

As frenzied as my race through the woods had been, I’d missed a lot of the beauty surrounding me, and as we meandered back to the main trail, I took my time drinking it in. This land was part of a state park that hadn’t been logged in at least fifty years. The trees were giant, their limbs spreading far overhead to blot out the blue sky with the canopy they formed. Streams like the one we’d flailed around in dotted the woods, some bare trickles, others deep enough that there were footbridges over them.

I sent a silent prayer of thanks to anyone who might be listening that I got to experience this. That I was free and not behind bars. The police had never come to interview me, though they had asked Erica questions. As Nico promised, Brad sightings continued until a few weeks ago, ending near a private airport outside Quebec. The reigning theory was that the Bluhms had chartered a jet and flown their son to a country that didn’t extradite to the US.

They were getting dragged over the coals in the media, and the city’s sentiment had long since turned against them, making them little more than prisoners inside their house. I might have felt bad if not for the fact that a) their house was a 20,000-square-foot mansion and b) while they might be innocent now, they had covered for plenty of Brad’s previous crimes. I considered it their comeuppance for all their past sins.

I didn’t think I would ever stop worrying that what we’d done would catch up to us one day, but I no longer let it rule my thoughts. I was free. I was in love. And I was determined to enjoy those things for as long as possible.

Taking a deep breath, I turned my face toward the sky. As stifling as the heat had been during my run, I was grateful for it now because it helped dry our soaking clothes.

“Next time we do this, we should wear backpacks,” I said.

Josh cocked his head sideways at me. “For sex toys?”

“For spare clothes and a first aid kit.”

He lifted his brows.

I rolled my eyes. “And fine, yes, for sex toys.”

He grinned, looking pleased with himself, and threaded his fingers through mine. I didn’t miss his glance down at my hand. Or, more specifically, the ring on it. “We should consummate our engagement when we get back.”

“I need a shower first,” I said. “I have river sand in unmentionable places.”

He chuckled. “Same. And you should probably look at this cut. I think it might be serious.” He lifted his other arm and curled his fist inward like he was posing. There was a tiny scratch on the inside of his bicep. “See? Right here.” He flexed, making his muscles pop. “Do you see it?” He flexed again.

It was my turn to laugh. “Yes. It looks like it might be life-threatening. We better hurry.”

He slapped my ass.

I reached out and ran a hand down his crotch.

By the time we made it back to our Airbnb, we were groping each other like a couple of teenagers on their first date. Somehow, in between kisses, Josh managed to get the door unlocked.

I pushed it open and dropped my hands to the hem of my shirt, more than ready to get out of my damp clothes.

We froze at the sight that greeted us.

The cabin was small, just a single, wide-open space with a living room on one side and a mini kitchen on the other. The bathroom was tucked further back behind a door, and the queen-sized bed that Josh could barely fit on was overhead in the loft.

Someone had toilet-papered the entire place.

What the hell? Was this some sort of prank?

Oh, God.

Josh and I shared a panicked look.

“The cats!” he said, dashing inside.

My pulse skyrocketed as fear slammed into me. If anything had happened to them, I was going to join Josh in killing someone.

He came to a stop in front of me so fast that I bounced off his back. I shook my head to clear the spots from my eyes and glanced around him to see what had pulled him up short. There, sitting in a nest of toilet paper, was Maud, our twelve-week-old problem child. She chirruped in greeting, grabbed a mouthful of paper, and took off toward the bathroom, trailing a long line of it behind her.

I stepped beside Josh, watching her go. “We’ll get a little girl kitten, he said. She’ll be super cute, he said. Fred needs someone to play with so he doesn’t get lonely.”

As if summoned, Fred leaped out from behind the bathroom door, paws raised, and tackled Maud. They went rolling and spitting across the floor before Fred took off with her hot on his heels, still trailing toilet paper in her wake.

“You did this to us,” I told Josh.

The cabin was so small that there was nowhere for Fred to go but up, and as we watched, he scaled the nearest curtain. I had just enough time to realize that maybe I had been overfeeding him before a crack ricocheted throughout the room, and the curtain rod fell to the floor, burying the cats in fabric. Two little bumps popped up beneath it, running in opposite directions as they tried to claw their way free.

“Well,” I said. “There goes my five-star guest rating.”

Josh wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close. “If you were really that mad, you’d put a stop to it. Don’t lie. You love this.”

“I wouldn’t go that far,” I said.

“Well, I would. Hell, I hope our future clan of children is just as batshit.”

I almost choked. “How many kids make a clan?”

“I dunno,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Like, eight?”

I knew my vagina couldn’t speak, but I swore I heard it let out a low whimper of terror. “How about two?”

“Seven,” Josh said.

“This isn’t a negotiation.”

He dropped his arm from my shoulders and turned to face me. “Okay, six. But that’s as low as I’m willing to go.”

“Two,” I said, fighting back a grin.

He crossed his arms over his chest. “Five. That’s my final offer.”

“Keep it up, and it’ll be zero.”

He leaned forward and waggled his brows. “Picture me holding a toddler in one arm and a baby in another.”

Uh-oh. No, ovaries. Put down the warpaint.

He leaned closer. “Shirtless.”

Fuck. I was totally going to have this man’s giant babies.

He must have seen his victory in my expression because he closed the distance between us and scooped me up, kissing me breathless while Fred tried to climb the other curtain and yanked that side of the rod straight out of the drywall.

It was pure chaos.

The absolute best day of my life.

I couldn’t wait for a million more of them.