Life After Undeath

“Hey, Osiris!” I greeted my fellow-undead husband, and gave him a hug.

He looked confused, as usual, and stumbled away from me after our hug had ended.

Life as a zombie…

Life as the only zombie I knew of who hadn’t lost their damn mind!

I’ll rewind real quick for ya…

Us inhabitants of Earth had finally managed to find another habitable planet, but had also decided to treat the natives there like Columbus had treated the Native Americans.

It turned out that they were really powerful, and decided to kill all humans who were on Earth in response.

By “kill,” I mean that they unleashed some sort of gas all around the world, and it caused all humans to become zombies. Like me!

Well… Mostly like Osiris, actually…

None of us require food or drink or anything like that, but nobody seems to have much of a brain either. I’m the only person who I’ve run into who still knows how to talk, and thus the only person who understands me is me!

I imagine that there must be more people who’ve kept their ability to talk and whatnot, but I only know of me. So, yeah… I guess us Earthlings aren’t much of a threat to anybody else in the universe now. Hell, we’re probably much less of a threat to our own planet now.

Maybe our zombification was a good thing!

Suddenly!, Osiris meandered back towards me, and said, “Aakifa! What’s going on? Why didn’t Earl and Sandy understand me when I asked them what’s going on? And, what’s that weird smell?”

“Osiris!” I beamed, and planted a big wet kiss on his lips, which he was quite cheerfully receptive to, “Earth got gassed because we of how we decided to ?!$$ off the wrong aliens. I’ve been able to talk and whatnot the entire time, but most people haven’t been able to. I’m so glad to have you back!”

“Weird…” he said, with a frown on his face, “I wonder why some people get affected and sooooooommmmmmm-“ and, to my great dismay!, my dear sweet husband suddenly went back to being the sort of zombie who he’d been just a few minutes ago! Dammit! I sure was glad that I’d at least managed to share a kiss with him while he’d been in lights-on mode for a moment, because I’d really missed being able to do that. I only hugged him when he was in lights-off mode, because kissing someone who seemingly couldn’t understand what romance even was just didn’t seem either desirable or right.

My shortly-lived conversation-and-romance with my beloved Osiris was filling me with hope now!, though; and I said a quick prayer that there would be many more lights-on times for my husband in the future!

Whatever weird gas it was that had essentially stopped us human Earthlings in our tracks seemed to be quite a bit more complicated than simply a lights-out zombification drug, and something deep inside of my soul told me that my dear Osiris would be capable of both speaking and being my lover again before long…