Learning Curve

Scottie

My whole body shakes as I climb through the tight vent after getting a lift up from Blake Boden.

I’m vibrating a little bit out of fear for what’s ahead. But it’s mostly anger.

I’m so mad at Finn—for being so willing to keep secrets even though there’s an obvious pull between us—but I’m even more mad at myself for my inability to stop caring about him altogether.

Every push he gives me to get me to step away, I hold on tighter. Every conflict we have over whether we’d be a good idea, the more my heart aches to find out anyway. It’s ridiculous and foolish, to say the least.

And yet…I can’t seem to stop myself.

I scoot to the end of the opening of the vent and stick my head out, and it’s only then that I realize it’s a long way down to get out, just like it was a long way up to get in.

“Shit,” I whisper into the otherwise empty and dark tunnel. I don’t need to get injured this close to competition season, but I’m not seeing a lot of options for getting down otherwise.

There’s a bump to my foot, and I startle, screaming in the small space so loudly my eardrums pulse. The grip on my ankle tightens, and Finn’s low and reassuring voice follows. “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

I swallow hard to stop the overwhelming wave of panic his words both push and pull against with equal force.

“I…I don’t know how I’m going to get down. It’s a big drop.”

“Here,” Finn says calmly, pulling gently on the ankle he’s still holding. “Scoot back here, and I’ll crawl over you and get out first.”

“Crawl over me?” I nearly cry, the very real tightness of the space we’re in seeming to get even tighter.

“I can do it, I promise. Just lie flat.”

Out of options, as more and more people pile into the small pipe behind us, I steel my nerves and turn onto my back to make myself as small as possible. Finn crawls up my legs fairly easily, but when he gets to my body, he has to hold himself against me and shimmy to make it the rest of the way.

I hold my breath as he passes over my face. His hair and his eyes and his lips first, and then the tight muscles of his chest and abdomen, which are rigid beneath his tight black T-shirt. Then, of course, come his pants… I close my eyes as tight as I can manage and hold my breath as every inch of him passes directly over me.

I will myself not to think of us in this position for a different reason—will myself not to think of what it’d be like to taste him.

My self-discipline is, in this instance, unfortunately, pathetically weak.

I can barely move as I hear him jump down from the end of the vent.

“Scottie, come on,” he calls then, just as Julia is making it to my feet. Her eyes are a mile wide, and I can only imagine mine match. Our bravado, it seems, is wearing off a little now that we’re in the thick of it.

Scrambling to my stomach, I turn over and scoot back to the edge of the opening, but this time, Finn’s mesmerizing eyes light up the darkness. “Come on,” he urges again. “Just push yourself out. I’ll catch you.”

Flutters dance through my stomach like lightning bugs on a rural summer night. I take one big gulp of stagnant, damp air and do as he says, falling forward and directly into his arms. Our bodies slide against each other as he sets me down, and I don’t take my eyes from his for any of it.

It’s a mild consolation to my discomfiture if I can make him feel the same. His mouth opens and closes, and just for a hint of a moment, I think he’s actually going to tell me something—to share something—important.

“Hey, guys! Can you help a girl down?” Julia calls, breaking the spell.

Finn steps around me and over to Julia, pulling her down exactly like he did with me. Though, I do note, there’s remarkably less body contact.

Directly behind her, Ace scoots out, and then Blake. Once we’re all out, we move out of the way so that the people after us can climb down. There’s another tunnel that shoots off to the right, so while everyone else goes straight, the five of us convene in its opening to put together at least some kind of game plan.

“I’ve seen a map of these tunnels directly under the stadium before because Coach keeps a whole bunch of relic-type shit in his office. We have to start backward and go the opposite direction that we think,” Blake informs us.

“I’m sorry?” Julia says, which is almost enough to make me laugh. I guess we really are committed at this point.

“Look, I’m telling you, everyone who just went straight is headed the exact wrong way. I’m not sure what happens when we get away from the stadium and start going toward Abrams, but I know, under here, it’s like a giant loop, and the only way out is backward.”

Ace nods dramatically. “So what you’re saying is we can expect this to be just as fucking hard as Lexi said it would be.”

Blake shrugs. “Pretty much.”

“Well, come on, then,” Finn directs, stepping quickly and naturally into the leadership role. “Let’s go that way before the next group gets down here and sees us doing it.”

When he takes my hand in his and pulls me straight into unthinkable darkness with him, I don’t say no.

Maybe, just maybe, what happens in the tunnels under campus tonight can stay in the tunnels under campus.