Lapidary

I got to my feet and helped my mother pick up the beans scattered on the floor, like my heart.

“Don’t be angry at her,” Kellie said. “She’s just missed you.”

“It sure sounds like it.” I rolled my eyes.

My mom placed her hand on my arm. “We all react differently to pain and loss. Who are you to judge her for it?”

My heart tightened, and I blamed myself that my sister acted the way she did. I had abandoned her without warning, and I’d been ignoring her for two years. Then, one day, I had just showed up, unannounced. I understood why she was angry.

When we were done picking up the beans, we got to our feet and Kellie continued to cook. I felt the urge to do something, so I set the table, searching through all the drawers and cupboards for the plates, knives, and forks. When I was done, the front door opened, and I turned to face my father. He was dressed neatly, respectable in an all-grey suit. His hairline was receding, and he had grown a beard to make up for it. His eyes had more crow’s feet than when I saw him the last time, and his hair was turning grey. He dropped his suitcase when he saw me.

I shrugged as if to say: I’m back. No big deal.

But it was a big deal. My dad rushed to me as if I had returned from the dead and flung his arms around me. I embraced his roundness and realized he had gained weight, while I had lost weight. He held my skeleton-figure, and I fought back tears.

“Welcome home,” he said.

I held him a little longer so that he couldn’t see the tears sliding down my cheek. Once the tears were gone, I released him.

“Dinner is ready,” Kellie said.

“Should I call Ava?” Jacob kept one arm around my waist as if he could stop me from running away again.

Kellie shook her head, and my dad didn’t push it. Did he somehow know that Ava was upset with me? I sat down, with Jacob next to me, and Kellie brought our food to the table. Fish, chips, and green beans. The food smelled fantastic, but I was too uncomfortable to eat.

Kellie sat down on my other side, boxing me in. “Eat.”

I forced a mouthful of fish down my throat and offered her a smile. My mom’s cooking had significantly improved, and I wondered if she had taken cooking classes. Now that they had more money, they surely had more hobbies.

“We only have two bedrooms,” Jacob said, “but Ava’s room is big enough to share.”

Ava and I had shared a room our whole life – even when the room was small. That was how it worked when you were poor.

“I’m not staying,” I said.

“It’s dark outside,” Kellie pointed out. “Just stay the night.”

I shouldn’t have said yes to dinner because my mom would find a way to get more out of me.

“Ocelos is dangerous,” Jacob pressed. “There are many gangs, violence, death, and drugs. It’s not safe for humans to go out at night.”

I wasn’t scared in the slightest – maybe Devton was right, and I was stupid. I already knew I was crazy.

“One night,” I agreed, “but I am sleeping on the couch and leaving first thing tomorrow.”

“Will you stay in Ocelos for a while? Now that Ryker—” My dad caught himself mid-sentence.

My chest tightened, and I hated that everyone was looking at me as if they expected me to have a meltdown because Ryker’s name had been mentioned. I hated that I wanted to have a meltdown.

“I’ll stay a while,” I said.

“I can help you find a place,” my dad said.

“No thanks.” I’d been on my own long enough, and I could do it alone.

“I can find a job for you,” Jacob tried.

“No thanks,” I said. There was no way I would tell them that I was employed at My Night Habit, and there was no way I would use my dad’s name, money, and status to find a new job.

The rest of dinner was intense, and I forced down my food so that I wouldn’t disappoint Kellie more than I already had. But afterward, my stomach cramped because it wasn’t used to being full. I helped my mother clean while my father fetched me blankets and put them on the couch.

“Thank you,” I said to him.

He smiled and eyed my gloves. “Are you cold? Should I get an extra blanket?”

“I’m fine.” I rubbed my wrists. Had Ace told them that I had tried to kill myself? If he had, I’d never speak to him again. “Goodnight.”

Jacob kissed me on the cheek. “It’s good to have you back.”

Kellie hugged me. “We love you.”

I didn’t respond and watched them go upstairs. I fell on the soft couch, exhausted, but no matter how I tried, I couldn’t sleep. Finally, I tossed the blanket to the ground and headed upstairs. Kellie and Jacob were asleep, their bedroom door slightly open. I headed to the other side of the hall and opened the door, surprised that it wasn’t locked. My sister was sitting on the windowsill holding a pipe. She slowly looked at me with her red eyes and a goofy grin. I inhaled the sweet scent of Muze – a drug used to make one calm and think everything is funny.

“What are you doing?” I asked, although I already knew the answer.

She giggled. “Nothing.”

I stormed over to her and snatched the pipe out of her hand. “Stop that.”

“Stop that,” she mimicked and laughed at herself.

I assumed my parents didn’t know about this – if Kellie did, she would lose it. I wanted to talk to Ava, and I wanted to find out what she was thinking. But now wasn’t a good time. I put a hand around my sister’s waist, and she allowed me to help her to the bed. She flopped down on it, giggling like an idiot. I tucked her in.

“I love you,” she said.

I stayed with her until she fell asleep and wondered if she knew what my parents had told me the night I left, would she still love me?