Lapidary

My wings snapped open.

Ace had explained that some angels never found their wings and that others took years before they got them. I had fallen to earth when I was so young, that I never learnt how to embrace my powers. They had remained dormant, until now, until I was forced to use them.

I wasn’t falling. I wasn’t scared. Flying came as naturally to me as breathing did. I let my cloud-white wings carry me on the wind, embracing the freedom. Why had I ever been afraid of falling?

My parents had told me I was an angel, but I had sometimes thought they were mistaken. Maybe the archangel they had found had held someone else’s human baby. I hadn’t realized I had wings, until now. The possibility that I might have wings or magic, made me try to summon them, two years ago. I had failed and assumed I was more human than angel.

But I wasn’t human. Barattiel had forced holy water into my lungs, and it was supposed to have been excruciating, but it hadn’t been. It couldn’t hurt me because I was an angel. I had been so calm when I had the water in me.

I wasn’t sure if I could be possessed. Humans could be possessed, angels couldn’t. I had thought I was more human and hadn’t wanted to risk it, which was why I had asked Artemis for a feather. But when he had taken it back, and Volgrun had tried to force himself inside me, it hadn’t worked. Already, then, I’d realized I was more angel than I originally thought.

I was so incredibly good with music because I was an angel. No human would have been able to learn as quickly as I had. When I wrote my song ‘Fly Away’ I had been thinking of the time when I was living on the streets, wishing I could sprout wings and fly away to a new life. The angel in my song was me.

I banked left easily and looked at Devton, who was gaping at me. And then I realized two things: one, the gargoyles had come alive, and two, the world was shaking. The three gargoyles were the size of small dogs. Their once-stone bodies had turned to flesh and blood. They wiggled their claws, stretched their wings, ready to defend Heaven’s Window.

My eyes traveled to the ring, on the graffiti, and then to the open rifts. How many were there? There were rifts in the skies, on the ground and in the ocean. They were different, shapes, sizes, and colors, and all led to different worlds. They had created huge tears in Testatha, and if I looked close enough, I could see movement on the other side. The rifts in the sky had white and blue light shining from them, making me think they led to Heaven. The rifts on the ground had red and black light shining from them, which suggested they led to Hell and the Netherworld. But there were so many rifts, going and coming from countless worlds. Who knew what kinds of creatures would use this opportunity to enter Testatha? We were in deep shit.

Also, causing a tear in the world shook Testatha and shifted the tectonic plates. I watched in horror as the ocean retracted. All the merfolk were on the land, in human form, so the ocean didn’t carry them away. Yet, I knew they were just as scared of the tsunami as we were.

I could fly, I could save myself, but others, like my family, didn’t stand a chance.

I look toward Devton, who was dripping blood, and my attention went to his torn wing. Despite everything, he had tried to save me. I struggled to believe that he had doomed the world. He was too smart, too calculated. He must have a back-up plan, or a way to save everyone.

Then there was Ace, dead on the tower. Why was he dead? What had killed him? I would have to figure it out later.

I banked again and watched Luther and Astaroth run to the top of the tower. Their eyes widened when they saw the gargoyles, hissing at them. Luther pulled a pistol from his belt and shot, while Fang managed to move out of the way. Astaroth sent a wave of shadows at Gargles, and the shadows pushed him off the tower. His wings snapped open, and moments later, he returned, snarling.

“Hold them off!” Devton said. “We need to keep the rifts open for as long as possible.”

I landed behind Devton and tried to ignore how much blood he was losing. He turned away from the fight, clearly trusting Astaroth and Luther to have his back. The gargoyles were hissing, snarling, and clawing. Could Luther and Astaroth beat them and keep them away from the ring?

“Nat—” Dev began.

“What the fuck were you thinking?” I snapped. “You opened a rift!”

“It was necessary,” he said.

“A tsunami is coming! Everyone is going to die because of you!”

Devton’s face hardened, and he pointed toward the Saltcoast where a host of angels was approaching. “They want to return to Heaven. So, I made a deal with Barattiel – a rift in exchange for a protective shield.”

Devton had taken everyone’s lives into consideration, and I hadn’t given him enough credit. I had known he was a risk taker, and I had known how desperately he wanted to open a rift.

I watched the quickly approaching angels. Once they reached the city, they flew into the rifts from which white light shone. One after the other they dived in, whooping and cheering and singing as they returned to Heaven.

I couldn’t see the reaper anymore – he was between worlds, moving souls, like he should. I hoped many souls were able to move on before we closed the rift. But first, we needed to protect the city from the tsunami. I searched for a pair of white wings, and it took me a moment to find them. Barattiel landed on the roof of one of the apartments near the center of Ocelos. I flew toward him and landed. His eyes widened as he looked at my white wings.

“It’s not possible…”

“Can you do it? Can you make a shield to protect the city?”

“I can make a shield,” he said, “but I’m not sure that it will hold.”

“What if I help you?” There was no water left in the ocean. People were screaming and panicking, the angels were singing, and daimons were emerging through the portals. The angels had told the truth when they had said they wanted to return to Heaven. They wanted to go back because their power was fading on Testatha. Yet the daimons had lied when they said they wanted to return to the Netherworld. Why would they want to return there when they were more powerful here? Of course, here they had humans to possess and abuse. Fucking liars.

“Do you know how to use your powers?” Barattiel asked.

“Teach me,” I said.

Barattiel spread his arms, and I watched as a shield, a dome, formed around Vesea. It looked as if it was made of glass, but something told me it was much stronger. It covered all five islands, as well as Arameer. Although the latter had been vacated, it would be a shame to see the palace washed away. I assumed Devton had bargained for it because he and Neron were friends.

“Focus on creating a shield in your mind. See it. Feel it. Make it real, and it will be,” Barattiel said.

I focused on creating a shield, as he’d instructed. I pictured the glass, transparent and thick. I pictured it beneath Barattiel’s shield, and something inside of me stirred. It was like turning out invisible pockets, and magic rushed out of me.

“You’re a natural,” Barattiel said.

“Will it hold?” I asked.

“I don’t know, but if it doesn’t, we should go to the nearest rift and leave.”

“We can’t abandon all of these people!” I could hear the tsunami approaching, like an angry monster. The city had gone so quiet as everyone was waiting in anticipation. People were staring, holding each other, and sobbing. The Shaking was happening all over again.

The wave neared.

I focused on my shield, I poured my magic, my full attention into it. The thing had to hold because I had to save these people’s lives. I glanced at Barratiel, and his face was taut.

The wave struck.

The breath fled my body. It was like someone was punching me repeatedly, everywhere. I cried out and fell to the ground, but my shield held.

Glass. Dome. Protect.

Barattiel was panting next to me, and I looked up. The water was above us, hiding the sunlight – beautiful but deadly.

“I’m not strong enough,” Barattiel said.

My own shield started to give, and I took a deep breath. Everything hurt. Barattiel waited for the water to drip off the dome before he dropped his shield.

“More waves are coming!” I told him. “We can’t stop.”

“I’m not strong enough to hold another wave.” He extended a hand to me. “Let’s go home.”

He wanted to return to Heaven; he wanted to leave these people to die. He was inviting me there because he thought I belonged there. But I didn’t. I had been raised with a human family, who loved and accepted me for who I was. They had never seen me as a monster. This moment came down to a choice – I could choose to leave with him, save myself, and be the monster I used to believe I was. Or, I could choose to stay and make a shield, and hold onto my humanity.

“I am home,” I said.

“You’re crazy,” he told me.

I grinned at him. “That’s good because if I was sane, there was no way I’d be able to pull this off.”

I took to the skies, and I knew he would fly right into the rifts. I was not strong enough on my own to make a shield that would hold the coming waves, but what if I didn’t need to be? Neron had told me that The Accumulation was filled with magic of all kinds that had been used to clean the city after The Shaking. I also figured out many ghosts had gone to it because they couldn’t move on. What if I could use it to amplify my magic?

People were screaming and hysterical again. There was no way to outrun a tsunami, and their protective shield was gone. I could understand their fear. Gods, my own heart was hammering. My family must be terrified. I wouldn’t let them die.

I landed next to The Accumulation, where the water was knee deep, and I examined it – a shining ball of magic. It was warm, like a fire. Would it burn if I touched it? I looked north, where the next wave was coming. I didn’t have any time to waste.

I drew a deep breath and touched The Accumulation. A surge of energy shot through me, as if someone had flipped a switch. It became one with me, fused with my cells. The magic ran through me, like my soul, and I heard voices in my mind again. Throughout this past year I had fought them when I’d heard them, even feared them. But now, I embraced them and accepted their help. Their magic filled me, strengthened me. When I looked at my white wings my feathers were turning silver, from all the different magics.

Shield. Surround us. Protect.

I didn’t have to look to know that I had succeeded in creating the shield, I could feel that I had. And once the second tsunami hit, thousands of invisible punches rained down on me. This was worse than the first time. Whether it was so because Barattiel wasn’t there to help me, or because this wave was bigger than the first, I couldn’t tell. The wave spilled over the dome, but not a single drop of water came through.

I fell to my knees and dropped the shield once the water stilled. I was soaking wet but couldn’t summon the energy to get to my feet.

One more. Just one more.

A third wave was approaching, and I touched the now-flickering Accumulation ball. Its magic shot through me, and I felt several invisible hands on my body. The souls of the people who had died during The Shaking were there to support me. Would they hold me so that I would not have to die alone?

I was crying now because I didn’t want to die, but I could feel my magic failing, my body caving, and The Accumulation depleting. The wave struck. The water pushed against the shield, and punches rained down on me. This wave was smaller, so it didn’t spill over the top of the dome. As the ocean around us stilled, I began to lift the shield, gradually letting in the water.

No one had drowned today, because of me. The city was safe, and the people were fine. The mermaids were breathing, and my family was all right. Dev was all right. I wish I had told him how I felt about him, like he had told me. I wish I had opened up to him when I had the chance. I’d never have any chances again.

I had no idea what happened when angels died. I didn’t know where they went. Humans went to Heaven, and angels lived there, for eternity. We were not supposed to be on Testatha. We were not supposed to die. I said a silent prayer to the gods, asking them to let me into Heaven, begging them to let me see my family, one day, when they were in Heaven, too.

I was so tired. My body felt as if I had been carrying a mountain. My silver wings were slack at my sides, as if they didn’t have any bones. I couldn’t find the strength to get to my feet, and The Accumulation’s light had gone out. The hands were gripping me tighter, as if saying: It’s okay. You can let go now.

I dropped the shield and let the ocean drown me.