: Chapter 37
of Han’s sterile room, we stare at each other with hard eyes. Like animals, we circle one another, trying to determine dominance. If I lunge, will she run? Or will she fight back?
My lips curl as I gaze at her almost entirely naked body on all fours, those reptilian eyes zeroing in on me like I’m her prey. She’s definitely a fighter.
“Try to get me,” she taunts, the playfully dangerous look in her eyes edging me on.
Holding the knife in the palm that’s propping her up, I drop my eyes to it and back at her again.
“You gonna cut me?” I question, walking slowly around the other side of the bed. Her eyes follow my every move. “It’s easy to tear into your own flesh, knowing the feeling. You control the pressure. You know the force needed to break that layer just enough to release that pain.”
I walk towards the edge of the bed where she’s turned to face me, her brows knit together in confusion.
“But do you have what it takes to cut someone you love?” I tilt my head. “The guilt you’ll feel afterwards. The confusion of lust and emotion.” I press forward until her face is angled up at me, her eyes cautious. “I don’t think you’re ready for all that.”
I slide my hand down her shoulder, meeting her forearm and gliding down until my hand reaches the blunt end of the knife. I slowly unwrap her little fingers, pulling it from her grasp.
“I, on the other hand…I’m ready.”
She smirks, and in a matter of seconds, she submits to me entirely.
I wrap my hand around the back of her head, grasping onto one of her little messy buns, cranking her neck back to face the ceiling. The knife is in my right hand as I trail the sharp end of it up the outside of her arm; the sensation causing her hair to stand on end, the goosebumps present.
“Word?” I ask simply, needing a safe word before we start.
“No need,” she answers, tilting her chin up in defiance.
“Word.” I demand, pulling her hair tighter, her neck bent all the way back.
She hisses, the corners of her eyes wincing before swallowing. The roll of her throat causes my cock to swell even more than it already is.
“Smrtka,” she whispers.
“Come again?” I cock my head.
“Smrtka.” She says the word again, and it rolls off her tongue beautifully.
Looking down at her wrist, I see the letters that make up the word imprinted on her. She follows my gaze, running her middle finger along the tattooed flesh.
“It means death personified,” she admits bluntly.
Naturally.
I arch my brow, and she smirks back, but I feel the weight of that word permanently etched into her skin. She lives with it. Day and night. It never leaves her, even in the midst of passion and lust. Her cloud forever surrounds her. I can only hope to give her some reprieve from the darkness she’s accustomed to.
“Smrtka,” I whisper, acknowledging the word.
She bites down on her bottom lip, peering from my eyes to my mouth, to my hand holding the blade, curious as to what comes next.
Lay on your back,” I demand. “Spread those legs.”
She rolls onto her back in the middle of the bed, spreading her thighs wide as her legs remain bent at the knee, her erect nipples pointing to the ceiling as her chest rises and falls, causing the sparkling silver chain from her tit to her neck to roll into the dip in her throat. Her green eyes follow me as I slowly lurk around the bed. I lick my lips, knowing what I need to see next.
I light one of her candles on the nightstand near the bed with the lighter in my pocket. Removing the belt from my jeans, I quickly grabbed her left hand lying near me. I place it near the wooden post of her headboard, wrapping my leather belt around her little wrist, roughly tightening it until I’m sure she’s unable to move. Her fingers ball into a fist, then stretch out again as she attempts to free herself from the restraint. I tilt my head at her, raising my brows, and she swallows.
I stalk around the bed, enjoying the view of her partially restrained before me. Positioning myself at the base, I chew at the corner of my lip, cocking my head at the beautiful sight before me. Her pussy is visible through the black mesh material covering it. What’s also visible is the pool forming between her legs.
When she reaches her hand down to touch the area, I slap the back of it hard. She pulls back, shooting me a glare.
“Do it again, and I’ll tie it up too.”
Her lips curl as if she’s contemplating pushing my buttons, but she halts, waiting to see what I’m about to do.
I settle on my knees between her thighs on the edge of the bed, leaning down to kiss her over the damp material when a hand smacks me across the face, sending my head to the side, my blonde locks falling into my eyes. A burning sting radiates across my cheek as I turn to face her again with my eyes narrowed and my lip curling in anger. She’s smirking at me with a devilish look in her eyes, and fuck if I didn’t just fall in love with her crazy ass all over again.
“Slap me across the face one more time and I’ll return the favor,” I growl, on the verge of losing my cool. “I promise you that, sweetheart.”
“So many useless threats.” She scoffs. “Little do you know, I like that shit,” she retorts with that feisty little attitude of hers.
I don’t think I could ever hit a woman. But, if one is begging me to slap her around a bit in order to get off, I may just need to change my approach on that topic. Man, this girl is really pushing me past the point of crazy. I thought I was wild, but Han…boy, does she take the cake.
Flipping the blade in my palm, I slowly drag the tip at such an angle that I won’t cut her. I draw the blade up from her ankle to her knee, from her knee to her thigh as the goosebumps form beneath. Tracing over the three previous cuts that have already formed scabs, I make my way to the crease where her thigh meets her pelvis. Sticking the blade under the black material of her underwear, I find her eyes as her gaze locks onto mine.
Her lips part and a breath escapes her when I pull up quickly, easily tearing through the flimsy material. Ripping it down one of her thighs, I leave it hanging just above her knee, then turn the sharpened edge of the knife towards myself, presenting her with the handle. She stares at it with furrowed brows, then looks up questionably.
“I’m gonna sit here and watch you fuck yourself with this.”
Han chuckles lightly, like she thinks I’m joking. I lean over the top of her, wrapping my hand around her throat with the knife still pointed at me between us.
“Fuck yourself with my knife again,” I repeat, slow and steady, tightening my hand.
She brings her palm up and grips the end while never breaking eye contact. I release my hold, leaning back until I’m off the bed. She watches me as I find her wooden chair in the corner, grabbing the back of it with one hand and setting it directly at the edge of the bed. I sit back with my legs wide, looking at her through hooded eyes, giving a head nod to begin.
She takes the edge of it and slowly begins tracing circles over her clit, the blade of the knife pointing towards the ceiling. Her chest is moving, causing those perky breasts to sway as she angles the knife until it’s pointing to me in the chair. I open my jeans, find my aching hard-on, and release it to the room. I need some friction or I’ll literally combust in my jeans.
Running the handle up and down her folds, she coats the end with her arousal before slowly pushing it inside of her. I watch closely as the tip of it disappears and her hips tilt to swallow it. My mouth drops open and I run my palm along my cock, squeezing it tightly as I become completely enthralled by the voyeuristic moment. A drop of cum drips from the tip as I watch her free hand toy with herself, her eyes still on mine as she uses the knife on herself like she did in the privacy of her place before.
My jaw feels locked tight in pain. The things she can do to me with her eyes alone are overwhelming, but this? I’m stroking myself harder and harder while she continues the sweet assault on herself at my command. She moans as three inches of the handle disappears inside her, careful not to cut herself with the blade that’s becoming closer to her hand.
“Let go of it,” I demand, standing up with my jeans open and my cock raised stiff against my stomach.
Her hand comes off the knife and falls back near her breast, palm up, watching me with laser focus. I stalk around the bed, flexing my jaw, loving the view of my fucking blade lodged up in her and her hand tied to the bed with my belt. Taking as many mental images as I can, I circle back towards the candle, grabbing it before joining her on the bed again.
“Ready for some pain?” I ask as I kneel back between her thighs, my knees up against her legs as the blade rests between us, bouncing slightly with every quick breath she takes.
My mouth salivates with a disgusting desire, seeing her half-tied up with this inanimate object of mine still inside her. I’m sick and twisted for getting off on this. I know I am. She’s dangerous, daring, and about to feel things she’s never felt with anyone else before. I just hope I can control myself. I reach up, needing to touch her face.
“Yes,” she whispers, as I trail my thumb over her bottom lip.
I want to kiss her, but she has to wait.
“It’s gonna burn, sweetheart.”
“I’m ready, Kai,” she moans, nodding while chewing the corner of her lip.
I hold the candle up, gently tipping it until the wax slowly drips out. She gasps as the liquid heat hits the middle of her chest, gripping the bedspread into a tight fist with one hand while pulling on the restraint with the other. I slowly drip it across her bare nipple, and she releases a throaty groan, screwing her eyes tightly to adjust to the pained sensation.
I pause, giving her a minute to use the safe word if it’s too much, but she doesn’t. If anything, the tightened jaw she’s sporting and the way she keeps bucking her hips, tells me she’s way too into this.
The candle tips again, and more wax pours across her tight little abdomen.
“Oh, fuck!” she cries out, her body writhing beneath me, her fist clutching the sheets.
Once more, I pour a few drops right above her smooth mound, a few drops reaching the lips of her bare sex. Her eyes roll to the back of her head while she cries out, hips thrusting upwards as the knife starts to expel itself. Quickly setting the candle down on the floor beneath the bed, I lean down and blow on the wax, letting it harden on her beautifully tatted skin.
Grabbing the base of the blade with two fingers, I gently remove it, watching as her body craves the loss of it. Reaching down to touch herself, I yet again smack her hand away.
“I’m tying you up after this,” I say calmly, leaning forward over her, holding the blade up to her neck again. “Don’t you fucking move an inch, do you hear me?”
This is serious. If she wants to throw her cards into the dark world, she needs to know how to play.
She nods her head, her eyes darting between mine wildly.
I angle the blade against the area near her collarbone. Slowly and carefully, I scrape off the melted wax.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” I whisper, then consider turning the knife on myself and ending it all for sounding like a corny bitch.
But she doesn’t seem to mind it. Her chest is heaving now, her mouth open as she breathes, watching the knife that has the capacity to end her slide over the pounding pulse near her neck. I drag the sharpened edge across her silky skin, peeling each and every piece of dried wax off of her, careful not to break through the flesh. Her nipple is red from the burn. I scrape around it gently, then across her abdomen, cleaning the area but leaving reddish skin beneath from the slight scratch of the blade.
“Touch me. I need you to touch me, Kai,” she begs me, reaching the hair at the top of my head and threading her fingers through it.
She’s glistening wet from all the build-up, needing to feel something against the sweet spot that’s aching for the ultimate pained pleasure. The tease, her torture.
“Patience,” I reply, skimming the knife over the area above her smooth mound.
She attempts to lift her hips as I quickly pull the blade away, sucking in a breath.
“Shit Han!” I yell. “Don’t fucking move!”
“I’m sorry,” she moans just above a whisper while panting uncontrollably. “I’m sorry, it just feels so good. The pain.”
“I know, baby,” I say in a softer tone, finally cleaning the last bit of wax off of her. “The best kind of pain. The sick, twisted kind you hate to admit you love. But you know I got you.”
And I do. I’ll give her whatever she needs to survive, as unconventional as it may be. This is that sickness. The love that is terrifyingly raw. I’d end my life if I knew tomorrow didn’t contain her. Suicide love.
I fold up the knife, tossing it on the bed next to us and scale up her naked body, immediately finding her lips. I dive my tongue into her mouth, finding hers and exploring every inch of the woman that I’m in love with. She fists my hair in her free hand, matching my need, melting her mouth to mine. I press my bare chest to hers as she moans into my mouth, my dick resting against the soft skin of her lower abdomen.
“Fuck Han,” I groan against her lips, licking her tongue ring before biting down on her lower lip. She cups my ass with her free hand, my pants sagging off of me as I grind into her. “I hope you’re ready.”
If she thought that was pain, she has no idea what she’s in for next.