FULL NOVELXO Chapter 41 - Without You
I had just finished showering and dressing when I walk out of the bathroom to see Kaden sitting on the edge of the bed. Vulcan had requested his presence at a meeting with the older members of the pack, apparently the Council had called ahead of time.
He looks up at me as I step in between his legs, running my fingers through his dark hair. His eyes close in satisfaction as he leans forward so that his head rests against my stomach.
“Are you okay?” I ask quietly, wondering why there were emotions such as pain, fear and anger coming through our bond.
He nods, wrapping his arms around my waist. I shake my head when I see Kaden’s suitcase waiting to be packed. He is so lazy sometimes. I pull away when I see that there is only thirty minutes left before we need to leave for the airport.
“Kaden, we’ll be leaving soon. I told you to pack your things.” I huff, making my way to the wardrobe and grabbing his clothes.
I jump in surprise when I turn to see that he is standing right behind me, a troubled look on his face. He takes his clothes and tosses them on a nearby chair making me frown.
“No.” Kaden utters quietly, a hard look in his eyes. “You are going back Luna, not me.”
“What?”
“The Council is going to investigate everyone who makes regular contact with me, it’s going to be gruelling. I can’t put you through that so you need to stay away for a few weeks -”
“No, Kaden I -”
“I found you after I moved to Berlin. Everyone else has known me longer. They won’t question you about anything because I only told you recently of what I am.” He runs a hand through his hair in frustration, stepping away.
“I’m not leaving!” I state firmly, crossing my arms over my chest.
He growls loudly, blue eyes flashing dangerously. “I don’t want you hurt, Luna. A war could break out and I’d rather have you far away from it.”
“Please Kaden,” I plead, walking up to him and taking his hands in mine. “I don’t want to leave you.”
“And you think I want this?” He sighs, rubbing his face tiredly. “As much as I don’t want you to leave, I also can’t stand to see someone hurting or taking you away from me.”
“Kaden -”
“I’m ordering you to leave Luna, what part do you not understand?!” He growls angrily, making me flinch in response.
I walk up to him till we’re chest to chest, our breaths mingling together. “You may be an Alpha and I may be your mate but let’s make one thing very clear. You can’t order me around.”
“I am trying to protect you.” He grits out, eyes burning in anger as he stares down at me.
“Yeah? Let’s see how long that works out for you because it sure as hell won’t be me who’s going to come crawling back.” I mutter angrily, marching to where my suitcase lay opened.
“Obviously not since you’ll have to catch a flight – ow! What the hell, Luna?!” He snarls defensively, glaring between me and the shoe I threw at him.
“Don’t try to be funny when I’m mad at you.” I seethe, throwing the other shoe at him also.
“Stop it.” He growls warningly, catching it mid-air.
I sniffle quietly, turning my back on him so he won’t see my tears. I pack my things quickly, hearing a car horn indicating that it’s time to go. Zipping up the suitcase, I throw things into my backpack before putting on my jacket. I turn to see Kaden sitting on the edge of the bed, holding his head in his hands.
It hurts to see him like that, I knew him and his beast are in pain right now. But, I’m so angry at him too. I understand that all he wants to do is protect me but am I ever safe without him by my side?
I wait for a few moments; waiting for him to stop me, say that he didn’t want me to leave. But he does none of those things, instead he stares at the carpet, unmoving with a hard expression on his face. His eyes are cold and dark when he looks up at me, making me wince.
I sigh and nod, willing myself not to burst into tears like I want to. Making my way to the door, I listen for his footsteps...but there are none. He doesn’t get up to at least walk me to the car and see me off. I bite my lip hard, wanting to scream at him but instead I open the door.
“I will kill you myself if you do something stupid and put yourself in danger.” I pause, turning to face him slightly. His hard expression cracks for a fleeting moment when he notices my tear stained cheeks. “I love you. Come back to me safe.”
He doesn’t say it back like I hope he would and it takes every fibre of my being not to break down. I take him in, committing everything about him to memory. And then, I shut the door and make my way downstairs. The more distance I put between us the more I feel like I can’t breathe, like somebody has my heart in their fist and keeps squeezing it, causing me pain.
I see Vulcan and Aurora standing by the front door, his expression equally hard like Kaden’s. On the other hand, Aurora looks sad and distraught. She takes my hand in hers as I walk closer, glancing at the stairs with a frown.
“He’s not coming down.” I explain sadly, hating how weak my voice is.
I bring her into a hug to say goodbye, barely able to wrap my arms around her because of her baby bump. We chuckle at that before she asks for my phone, putting in her number and telling me to stay in contact. I nod before turning to her mate who is staring up at the stairs, his brows furrowed.
“Promise me you won’t let anything happen to him?” I ask Vulcan, his towering form not as intimidating as before.
“I promise.” He grunts, a small smile on his lips as he looks at his wife before turning back to me. “My mate will kill me first if her best friend is ever harmed, I don’t want you to come after me too.”
I chuckle lightly and nod, watching as his expression turns serious. He hands me a small device that has a red button on it, fitting perfectly in my palm. I look up at the couple in confusion, wondering what it is as I turn it over.
“If you are ever in danger during the time Kaden is here, press this and we will be alerted along with everyone in Axel’s pack. It’s like a panic button. Rico will put some cameras and microphones on your house and clothes so that we all know your location and who is around you.” He explains, making my eyes widen in shock.
I nod, jumping slightly when the car honks again. Sighing, I turn to the grand staircase wanting Kaden to come rushing down but he is nowhere in sight. I hoist my backpack onto my shoulders before taking hold of my suitcase. I shoot the couple a small smile, stepping out the front door.
“It was nice to meet you guys.” I smile, opening the car door whilst the driver takes my luggage.
“You’re always welcome here, Luna. Don’t forget that.” Aurora murmurs, her eyes becoming teary making Vulcan panic.
We chuckle at his expression, his mate waving away his concerns and blaming it on her hormones. I look up the window of the room Kaden and I were in, wanting to see him. The curtains don’t shift nor does the window open and with a deep sigh, I take a seat in the car and close the door.
I roll down the window and wave to the couple, sending them a small smile as the car gently pulls away from the driveway and down the rough track towards the forest. The bond twists in sadness and I feel my throat tighten with emotion, a few traitorous tears slipping down my cheeks as I stare out at the scenery.
And then I hear him.
‘I love you too, little moon.’ His voice is etched in pain and longing.
A quiet sob escapes me and I bring a hand to my mouth, stifling any noises whilst I cry. I rest my head back against the seat, tears streaming down my cheeks uncontrollably and I make no move to stop them. All I want is for him to come back to me safe.
I land safely at the airport back in Berlin, pulling my suitcase behind me as I exit the building. Immediately, I recognize the mop of light brown hair and familiar green eyes. Rico smiles sadly at me and I return it, shrugging my shoulders as I walk up to him. He pulls me into a hug and I immediately want to cry, but I’ve done enough of that on the plane so I hold it in.
“Let’s get you home, yeah?” He murmurs, ruffling my hair before taking my suitcase.
I follow him towards his car, quietly thanking him when he places my luggage in the boot. He starts the engine and reverses out of the parking space, driving further away from the busy airport. I am greeted by the familiar roads and buildings of Berlin but it does nothing to cheer me up.
My thoughts are still stuck on Kaden and I want to know if he is okay and what he’s doing. Texting him proved to be pointless as he still hasn’t replied to any of my messages that I sent before boarding in the US or when I landed here. Maybe he is just busy? I wonder, trying to reassure myself that everything is fine and that he isn’t ignoring me.
“You understand he only wants to protect you, right?” Rico’s low voice snaps me out of my thoughts, making me glance at him.
“I know but...” I trail off, angry at myself for getting emotional every damn second. Inhaling deeply, I reign in my emotions. “He didn’t say goodbye, he didn’t come with me to the airport. H-He just yelled at me to leave.”
Rico squeezes my hand comfortingly before pulling away quickly, his beast knows who I belong to. “It was probably killing him, Luna. He can’t even go a day without seeing you, it must have taken everything in him not to let you go.”
I look out at the passing scenery, trying to focus my thoughts on something else. Rico seems to understand that I don’t want to talk about it anymore, turning on the radio instead. I smile gratefully, appreciating the action and he grins in response.
He drives on in silence whilst an unfamiliar pop tune echoes in the car. We are on the main road now, merging in with the traffic. But then I notice him driving onto the lane that goes straight, making me frown in confusion.
“Where are you going?” I sit up, wondering why he missed the turn to my house.
“I think it’s better that you stay at Axel’s pack so -”
“No.” I reply sternly, crossing my arms. “Take me home, Rico.”
“Luna, please listen to me.” He pleads, glancing at me worriedly.
“I just want to go home.” I sigh, leaning my head against the window. “Don’t do this to me, Rico.”
He is silent for a moment and I can feel him boring holes into the side of my head. “I just want you safe.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll tell him not to kill you if anything happens to me.” A smile graces my lips when Rico lets out booming laughter, it’s so contagious that I end up chuckling myself.
“Goddess, I don’t know how I’ll be when I meet my mate.” He muses, edging into the right lane before making a turn towards my street.
“Most likely overprotective.” I roll my eyes playfully, switching the radio to another station.
“Hey! It’s in our instincts.” He chuckles, turning into my neighbourhood.
I am relieved to see Maddox’s and Eva’s cars outside our house, indicating that they are both home. I need my friends today to distract me, but I highly doubt anyone can take my mind off a certain raven haired, blue eyed Alpha.
The car slows to a stop and I pick up my backpack, my hand on the door handle when I am stopped by Rico. His eyes hold concern as he stares between me and the house, torn between protecting me or giving me space.
I lift the panic button Vulcan gave me, watching his eyes snap to it. “I’ll press this the second I feel unsafe. I promise, Rico.”
“I’m still guarding your door every night until he comes back.” He growls protectively, scanning the area around us.
“You don’t have to, I’m -”
“Kaden and I may be best friends but I consider him my Alpha, making you my Luna. It’s an honour to protect you.” He states, daring me with his eyes to argue.
I sigh and nod, opening the door and grabbing my suitcase before knocking on his window. He rolls it down and I bend slightly to see him. “Let me know if you want something to eat or a hot drink when guarding. I don’t care if it’s three in the morning, you wake me up.”
He stares at me in awe, a soft smile on his lips before he chuckles and nods. “I will, thank you Luna.”
“It’s the least I can do.” I murmur, waving as I walk towards the front door.
I unlock the door, opening it and hearing the familiar, playful banter of Eva and Maddox. They are arguing about who took the last chocolate bar and I immediately place my bet on Maddox. My lips pull up into an instant smile as I walk into the kitchen, their loud greetings and hugs reminding me of how much they brighten my days.
If only Kaden was here with me and out of danger, life would be perfect.