Jen's Legacy.

Those other feelings between them would soon need to be spoken of... very soon, but they were skating around the obvious like two young children striving not to let the other know just how much they liked each other; how much they loved each other while striving to hide their excitement.

Royce was not able to hide his excitement for her, and it unnerved her.

One or other of them would explode before long, though knowing what little she knew of men and how they were, he would explode first. He had been like that on the beach after he had first undressed her, and after that on the following morning as he had come out of the river, and he had not been hidden from her then. The cold water hadn’t seemed to affect him either time, as she’d heard was usually the case. That proud male item would be a challenge for her, as it would be for any woman the first time, but then after that it would be easily and eagerly embraced.

He moved to sit more comfortably, adjusting one of the rocks beneath him as she unconsciously reached out to hold him steady by touching his leg, feeling him take her hand and hold it, before reaching out for her other hand too as he pulled himself closer to her and deeper in the water. It was safer if he sat closer to her, where she could not see other things that were so obvious about him.

She was not sure what he intended, seeing him reach up and smooth a wet hand over her cheek.

He explained. “There was a sooty smudge from one of the pieces of wood you moved for the fire.”

Then he went back to holding her hand.

If he rose to his knees, he could hold her again, and kiss her, and touch her wherever he wanted to, but then that other... thing... of his... would be more obvious to her.

Could he feel the ripples in the water emanating from her body, as her heart beat even faster? Could he see her difficulty with her breathing when he touched her? Would he notice her rebellious nipples pushing out against her shirt? It could be so easily moved aside, if he wanted to.

She began to talk nervously to take her mind off what she was feeling, as well as seeing.

“Gran is the moving force in the family, and the one I am closest too.

“She bought me that swimsuit that you cut up. But you had to do that, I know that now.” She was not sure what else to say.

He would see that she was blushing and having difficulty meeting his glance, just wanting to move across the small distance between them and kiss him, or to put her arms around him, letting her shirt flutter open and let whatever else happen, that would soon follow that.

If she did that, what would he think of her?

“So why did your Gran suggest that trip?”

She could answer that easily enough, and it would be safer to talk, than go where her thoughts were leading her.

“Two reasons. She knew I didn’t want to go with my parents. She is the moving force in the family, and she was the one who brought me up. I was always closer to her than to my parents, and she was on a rafting trip like that one, forty years ago. That was where she met my grandfather.”

Just as Claire had met Royce. Almost.

“They fell in love almost immediately.”

Just as she had fallen in love with Royce. So many coincidences. He was still holding her hands.

“He worked for the rafting company. They were married a week later and never regretted it. Gran knew I didn’t want to go to Europe, so she gave me a choice. Four weeks with them, or one-week rafting, and the rest of the summer, gardening and socializing with her. It was an easy choice. She also showed me the photographs she’d taken of her trip. She looked so very happy. It was a turning point in her life, just as this”—she paused, but then found courage to continue as she blushed at him— “was a turning point in mine, too, meeting you.” How could she state anything more obviously than that?

He nodded. Just as it had been a turning point for him.

The way she said it, was not lost on him.

“I made some good friends, especially with Elinor, the girl I tried to help.”

And now she’d made much more than a friend. Much more. A soon-to-be lover, once it got a few more nudges in that direction. The key was to make sure this relationship and feeling lasted for the rest of her life, as it had for her grandmother, except… except she’d seen that letter he’d written to Jen and their baby, and knew what he intended to do, unless she did something about it to change his life.

Jen would not be in her way. Jen would help her if she could, from wherever she was, still being a powerful force in his life and in his memories. Jen would want to help her, loving Royce as she must have done. Life still had to go on.

Jen, wherever she was-- on this plain, or another, but in his thoughts constantly-- could be turned into an ally if she did it right. Claire already sensed that.

He touched her on the knee. “We should think about eating. We can always come back into here again after that, or later. The water is warm from the rocks, and it is pleasant to talk here.”

It was pleasant to talk anywhere with her, but the talking would also soon have to stop, and give way to something more, between them. There was so much more that needed to be said, and done.

She inched back to the edge of the water, lifted herself onto the bank, pulling her shirt to cover herself between her legs, leaving her shorts near her knees, as he reached for her socks and sneakers.

She would have pulled on her shorts better, fastening the top, or at least pulling up the zip, except it required two hands to raise them on her and to do that, and she needed her hands to support behind herself as he sat in the water below her and lifted her feet to dry them with his shirt, before putting on her socks and sneakers for her.

With her leaning back to support herself, her shirt moved again. It was no longer covering her as she wanted it to, either between her legs, or of her breasts. She ignored it and closed her eyes, letting him see whatever he wanted to see of her, just as he must have done, earlier.

He had to sit there for a few more minutes to recover after helping her like that and seeing too much of her for his own good, but she had to remain where she was, or reveal even more to him as she moved, but if that was what it would take...?

After a few moments he was able to stand up out of the water and retreat to the fire so that she could see to herself without him watching her and making his obvious, personal problem, even more obvious.

However, it was clear to him that she couldn’t bring her shorts up for herself, not having enough hands, and she was just standing there as she was with her back to him and her shorts still near her knees, so he returned to help her.

He looked into her eyes as he raised her shorts from her hips; raising them under her shirt, up to her waist, feeling her soft, yielding body on his hands, and then, as she moved her shirt farther out of the way, he brought the top of her shorts together for her to hold. He found the courage to push his fingers down into the front of her open shorts and to tug at the zip, feeling a tickling on the back of his fingers from the hair there as he raised it, keeping his hand between her body and the zip, and at the same time, totally destroying his composure, forcing him to stop half-way, to recover.

She felt him trembling. He had his eyes closed, leaning against her with his head slowly falling to her shoulder. He had another problem too that she was always conscious of. There would be no hiding that! She would soon have courage to address that for him too.

She held his shoulders in turn, waited for him to decide where they were to go from here; and if he couldn’t take advantage of the obvious, open before him and waiting for him to discover, she would decide for herself how she could move this growing feeling between them forward, much faster, if she dared do so.

She had to find the courage. She had no choice. The alternative might be to lose him forever, and she didn’t want that to happen.