Chapter 10
JAX
Here’s the thing.
I know hooking up with Audrey was a terrible idea, but the way I see it is, if she thinks I actually don’t want her then she'll be more inclined to see things my way, right? Like reverse psychology. I mean, it sort of works with other hook ups. They all want what they can’t have so, if you play it cold, she’ll try harder to get you.
It's a solid plan, I think.
The biggest problem is the playing it cold part.
Audrey does something to me that makes me so hot. I can’t just exist around her. I pick apart every little thing and when something doesn’t sit right, I can’t keep my damn mouth shut. Even if I do shut my mouth, my fucking emotions give me away.
I know she felt them. I felt hers, but that’s not surprising. I know this whole thing isn’t about Lax. It’s about getting me back. I try to keep her leaving me as a shield against her, but that’s cracking. Fucking weak!
She’s trying to make me break. Hanging off that red headed douche. She probably hooking up with him. I shouldn’t care, but seeing her in his arms like that, the volcano in my gut exploded. I had to leave before I did something I regretted.
I had set my foot down at that point. I’m not caring. Not one bit. If she’s gonna be messing her teammates, she can screw off. I’m not playing this game.
But of course, the universe has it in for me because as soon as I saw that punk bitch with a gun to Audrey’s head, I’m pulled back in. Of course, she threw a fit, but in the end, I think she saw that I wasn’t saving her to spite her. I jumped in because I cared.
After, my shield cracked a bit more. Seeing her hurt, that heat she stirs got worse. I’m surprised I didn’t kill the guy.
“Really. All I did was stand her on her little feet and, boom! We have a walker.” Finn tips his bottle back as he talks about Tristan. He’s such a proud father. I’ve never seen a guy so whipped.
Marcus pushes his empty back and grabs a fresh one. “That’s sweet, but you aren’t convincing me. Nope. Don’t want kids.”
“Kids are a blessing, Marcus.” Griffin grins. “I want 10.”
“10? Dude, you outta your damn mind.” Noah shakes his head as he swings his bottle.
“You want your own soccer team.” Finn chuckles.
“Aye! Lovely little footballers. All trained by me.” He plants a hand on his chest and bows.
“You’re sick." Marcus points to him. “You do that, your life is over. No sex for you.” He scoffs.
“Sex isn’t everything. To see life being created…blimey…there’s nothing greater.” Griffin leans back with a big Irish grin.
“Right?” Finn agrees. “What about you, Jax?”
I rejoin the conversation. “Huh? What?”
“Kids. You want any?” Marcus leans on the table.
I arch a brow. “Kids?” I think about it. Do I? “I guess if it happens. I don’t know. Depends on the mother, I guess.”
My eyes scan the bar and I find what I’ve been watching for the last hour.
Audrey in a sparkling gold dress. She’s been moving around the Lumber Jax bar and grill and I can’t keep my eyes off her. I have this need to know exactly where she is at any given moment. Fuck, it’s so bad, I even waited around outside the bathrooms for her. Hidden by the crowd, of course, but I was ready to bust heads if I needed to.
Now, she’s sitting at the bar and talking with players from the tournament. It’s pretty packed since they announced the bar was open for athletes.
“Well, since that mother would be your fated, you would have to assume she’s good, right?” Noah asks me.
“Huh? Oh yeah. Sure.” My voice trails off and my wolf perks up as I watch a player place his hand on her knee then slide down to her thigh.
I jut my chin out and chew the inside of my lip as I feel my wolf go nuts.
“Jax. Yo, Jax!” Marcus.
I turn back to the table. “Nope. I don’t care.” I pound my beer back and grab a bottle. I glance and his fingertips are playing with the hem of her dress as she talks with him.
“Jax. She’s doing it on purpose, man. Don’t.” Finn says.
“Remember? She left you. Don’t worry about her.” Marcus says.
“I trying.” I grit. I rub my nape and drink. My eye sees his hand hit her ass.
My volcano explodes. “Fuck this shit!” I slam my bottle down and shove my way over to the bar.
“Jax! Come on, man!” Marcus yells to my back.
I watch his hand caress her ass cheek and it’s taking everything to not destroy him.
Her scent hits me and it fuels my anger as I grab his shoulder and pull him away from her. I shove my chest into his and my nose is just off his. “Getting a little handsy there, dick head.”
He puffs his chest out and looks me over. “Who the fuck are you?”
“JAXTON!” Audrey yells, but it’s pointless at this point. My wolf is speaking.
I shove him with my pecks. “A really good friend. How about you step and find someone else to grope before I make you wish you did.” I snarl in his face. My eyes flare as I pour my Alpha out all over the place.
“Why don’t you let the lady make the decision, asshole?” He grits back.
“JAXTON, STOP IT!”
“Stay out of it, Audrey.” I say to her, but my eyes never leave his.
I give him a further shove back and people are getting out of the way. My heart is steady and my targeting is laser focused. I’m not backing down one inch.
He looks at me then looks at Audrey. He meets my eyes. “Sorry, sweetheart. You’re not worth it. All yours, bud. Have fun.” He gives a shove back, turns and disappears into the crowd.
I watch him go, push my wolf back down and turn.
Audrey is leaning her elbow on the bar. Her long smooth legs are crossed and she’s tapping her nails on her wine glass. She has an annoyed look on her face.
“What?!” I throw my hands out to the side as I join her space.
She raises her chin. “You know, you may think you’re being heroic, Jaxton, but all you’re doing is proving how small your dick truly is.” She scowls.
I lean to her and point. “I was protecting you! I know how these guys are.” I point out to the crowd.
“Again. No one asked you. Let’s make one thing perfectly clear, Jax. You don’t get to protect me. You lost that right long ago.” She sips her glass as she drips with superiority.
I step close to her. “Let me be clear. Whether you want it or not, I will always protect you. Regardless of how much of a bitch you are to me because for some stupid reason, I care what happens to you even if you don’t.”
She stares into my eyes. I can feel her heat as she fumes at me. “And as much as you want me to, I don’t need you. I’ve survived perfectly fine without your ‘Hero Complex'. My days of relying on a man are over.” She growls quietly.
She has no idea how destructive those words really are.
“One day you will regret you said that.” I pull back, spin around and walk back to the table. I slam money on the table. “I’m done.”
“What? What happened?!” Marcus says as he puts his hands out to his sides.
“I'M FUCKING DONE!” I yell as I walk away and toss my hand at them.
****
My growls hit the skylights as I throw lacrosse balls into the net from the two point box with my stick. I walk around the grass and scoop a ball. I throw out a side shot into the empty net.
Ball after ball, I throw out the frustrations I have.
Everything I do is wrong. Everything I say is wrong! Everything I feel is wrong!!
I throw another ball and it smacks the goal post.
“UGGGHH!” I throw my stick across the field and pace around, rubbing my forehead.
I stop and sit on my ass in the circle.
I rub my nape and think about this. Why is all this frustration worth my time? There’s got to be some sort of point. She doesn’t need me. OK, great! Why do I want her to need me? This is fucking stupid!
“Fuck.” I drop my arm and raise my head to see Audrey walking up the field in that sexy catwalk she always does. She scent fills the arena and it really doesn’t help the situation at all.
She struts up to the white line, stops and folds her arms.
“What do you want?” I mumble as I pick at the grass.
She looks up at the skylights. “I want a lot of things, Jax.” She steps over the line and into the circle with me. “What I really want is respect.”
I raise my head to her. “I respect you.” I growl.
“No, you don’t, Jax. You constantly think I can’t take care of myself. That’s not respect.” She tilts her head to me.
I stand and close the gap. “You don’t get it, do you?”
“Enlighten me.” She says as she glares into my eyes.
“I know you can take care of yourself. I don’t want you to.” I thump my finger into my chest as I glare right back.
“Well, I’m sorry. I’m not about to let you dictate my life and how I live it. I had a father. He was a great man. I don’t need you replacing him.” She grits.
“Rey. I don’t want to replace your dad. It’s not like that. I just…I want to be there for you, but if you push…” At the mention of her father, I softened up. He was a very good man. I have to remember she lost just as much as I did.
“You can’t be there if you don’t like how I want to live my life. I won’t be what you want me to be, Jax. Ever.” I feel her calming down, but her inner feminist is still there.
I look down and kick at the field. “Yeah. I get that.”
She steps closer. “That doesn’t mean we can’t be friends.”
“I guess.” I mumble as I stuff my hands in my pockets.
Her scent plays between us and I have an urge to kiss her, but she’s right. She’ll never be what I need her to be so there’s no point.
“Right. Well, I'm turning in. Good night, Jaxton.” She turns and walks back across the field.
I’m left feeling the friend zone she just put me in. I should happy with that…
So how come I feel so shitty?