Jason (Blue Halo Book 2)

Blake parked his car on the street outside Willow’s house.

“Do you think Mama will let me get a dog for my birthday?”

He chuckled, already picturing Willow’s face if or when their daughter asked. “I’m not sure, baby.” But he was leaning toward no.

“I’m going to ask.” Blake watched in the mirror as Mila nodded from the backseat like she was confirming it to herself. “Jemma has a little gold dog with long furry hair. Her mom walks it to school when she picks her up. She says her dad complains that it gets hair everywhere then sneaks it treats when no one’s watching.”

He grinned as he climbed out of the car. Yep, sounded like a dad thing to do.

Moving around the car, he helped Mila out, grabbing her small bag before walking up the path to the door.

Willow and Mila lived in a small cottage on the outskirts of Cradle Mountain. It was only a street away from where he lived. Too far. If he had his way, they’d be living in the same goddamn house.

“You could always ask,” Blake said to Mila. And then likely be met with a resounding “no.”

Willow didn’t like messes. It was one of her traits that would annoy a lot of people. Not him. He wouldn’t call himself messy by any means, but the woman had cleaned up after him more times than he cared to remember.

They’d only taken one step onto the porch when the door slid open. Blake immediately felt like he’d been punched in the abdomen. But then, he always felt like that when he looked at the woman. Every. Single. Time.

Willow smiled, and his chest constricted. Fucking beautiful.

“She could ask what?” Willow asked.

He frowned. “Wait, is it me who has above-average hearing, or you?”

Mila released his hand and took off toward her mom, throwing her skinny arms around her. Willow lifted their daughter, pushing her face into her hair, breathing in her scent.

“Oh, I missed you, baby girl.”

Blake stepped forward, pressing a kiss to her cheek. His lips lingered. He couldn’t stop himself. There was a slight reddening of Willow’s cheeks before she turned, heading into the house.

“I have so much to tell you, Mama! About Mrs. Pennington and Jemma and her dog. Oh, and I asked Courtney if she was okay, and she said she was so you don’t need to worry anymore.”

When Willow turned, there was a small crease in her brow before it quickly cleared. He read her like a book. She was wondering how her daughter had picked that up, because there was no way Willow would have told Mila that she was worried about anything.

“I’m glad she’s okay, baby.” She placed Mila on the floor, remaining on her haunches as she spoke. “How about you take your bag to your room while I talk to Daddy for a minute.”

“Okay.” Then she leaned up and kissed her mom on the cheek. “I missed you too, Mama.”

The smile on Willow’s face was all heart. Another pang to his chest.

It wasn’t until Mila took her bag from Blake and left the room that Willow’s brows pulled together. It wasn’t a worried frown though. He recognized that look. Pain.

He was in front of her in a second, hand going to her upper arm. “Hey. Are you okay?”

She sighed. “I’m okay.”

Not true. “It’s a migraine, isn’t it?” Not a full-blown one. Not yet. But it was coming. She’d been suffering from them for as long as he could remember, usually brought on by exhaustion. Sometimes stress. “You’re working too hard.”

She lifted her right hand, massaging her temple. “I need to work and study, Blake. I’ve told you this.”

Yeah, she had. So she could support Mila. He knew how tough they’d had it while he’d been missing. How hard she’d worked to keep a roof over their heads. And damn but it tore him apart. Thinking about it made him want to growl, rage. Fix it.

“I’ve told you, I’ll support you.”

Her hand dropped, her lips thinning. She didn’t respond.

Shaking his head, he went to the cabinet below the sink, taking out the first-aid kit. He knew it was there, not only because he’d helped Willow and Mila move in, but also because that’s where she’d always kept it, even when they were together.

Taking out two aspirin, he grabbed a glass of water and took them to her. “Drink.”

She gave him a small smile. “Thank you.”

“You need to rest.”

She sighed. “I know. I just have a paper to write once Mila goes to bed and I’ll be done.”

Done? For how long? A couple of days until the next one was due? Maybe not even that.

He looked over her shoulder, seeing the piles of papers from the studying she’d clearly already done. Willow was taking online university courses to get her BA in teaching. She also did online English tutoring for kids all over the world.

Lifting a hand, he gently caressed the lines beside her eye. He could have sworn she let out the softest of sighs. “I wish you would lean on me.” He spoke the words quietly, not wanting them to carry down the hall to Mila.

A small pause. Was she considering it?

Then a shake of her head. A tiny step back. “I can’t.”

“Why?” It was a question he’d asked many times. And he’d probably ask a million more. Because he still wasn’t understanding why they couldn’t give it another go.

“You know why, Blake.” Her voice was quiet, too. “We weren’t great together. Not at the end. I don’t want to put Mila through that, especially now that she’s older. And I don’t want her to get used to us together, only to have us separate again.”

He wasn’t an idiot. He knew there was truth to their relationship being difficult before he’d been taken, between a new baby and his absence during missions. Willow in particular had struggled. And he’d missed the signs. Something he’d never completely forgive himself for.

“It’ll be different this time. I’m different.”

Hell, after everything he’d been through with Project Arma, there was barely anything that remained the same. Except his love for Willow and Mila.

She wet her lips. His gaze zeroed in on her mouth. God, how long had it been since he’d kissed her? Touched her in the way he wanted—needed—to touch her?

“I can’t take that risk.” Even though she said the words, there was an air of yearning about them. A yearning for him? To find out whether they could make it work a second time?

He took a small step closer, hearing her sharp intake of breath. “I’m not a SEAL any longer. My time is more my own. I can be more present. I can be there for you and Mila.”

He would be whatever she needed him to be. He’d loved the woman for so damn long. Seeing her again, but not having her, was the single hardest thing he’d ever gone through. It was hell. And he’d been through a lot of hard shit in his life.

She studied his eyes. She wanted to believe him. He could see it.

Do it, baby. Trust me.

One of her hands raised to his chest, pressing above his heart. The touch burned through the thin material of his shirt, causing fire to tear through his chest. “Blake, I—”

The ringing of his phone cut off whatever she was about to say.

And just like that, the light in her eyes dimmed, the hand whipping away from his chest.

He swallowed a curse. Ignored the ringing. “What is it, darling?”

The ringing eventually stopped. A second passed, and she opened her mouth again, but then his phone started once more. The shrill tone was like a hammer slamming into whatever progress he’d been making.

This time he didn’t hold back the curse. Stepping away, he pulled the phone from his pocket, just about shouting to whoever was on the other end. “What?”

“Jesus, Blake, are you okay?”

He took a breath. It was Flynn. The guy didn’t deserve his anger. “Sorry. What is it?”

“There’s an urgent snatch-and-grab rescue mission Steve needs us to complete. We need you down at Blue Halo ASAP to go through the details.”

Blake massaged his temple, feeling a migraine of his own coming on. “Okay. Be there in ten.” When he hung up, he almost didn’t want to turn around, didn’t want to see her face. Because he knew exactly what he was going to see.

When he eventually looked at her, Blake’s heart dropped like a bag of sand. She didn’t even look angry. She just looked… sad.

“Willow—”

“It’s fine, Blake. Duty calls.”

He stepped forward, but this time she shook her head, stepping back, keeping the distance between them.

“You save people. It’s what you do. Other people need you more than I do.” She tipped her head toward the door. “Go save people, Blake.”

She didn’t say it with malice or sarcasm. She said it with acceptance. Like she’d been expecting him to receive a call from the second he’d stepped inside her house. And somehow, that made it worse.

Mila’s soft footsteps sounded as she moved down the hall. She ran up to him and he lifted her into his arms. “I’ll see you in a few days, munchkin.”

“For chocolate milkshakes at The Grind?” Her brown eyes twinkled with excitement.

“Yeah. For chocolate milkshakes at The Grind.”

“Yay!” She leaned into his shoulder, wrapping her short arms around his neck. “I love you, Daddy. Don’t let the bad men hurt you.”

He tensed at her words. Both Willow and Blake told Mila that his job involved saving good people from bad. So her request shouldn’t have surprised him. But it did.

They’d also told her that’s where he’d been during the two years he was missing. Saving people.

“I won’t.” Pressing a kiss to her cheek before placing her on her feet, he stepped closer to Willow, leaning in and kissing her temple. Again, his lips lingered a second longer than they should have, her gardenia scent flooding his system, intoxicating him. “Goodbye, Willow. Stay safe, honey.”

He walked out the door, leaving his family.

The family he would get back—and not on a part-time basis. One way or another, he and Willow would be together. It may as well be written in the stars.