FULL NOVELXO Chapter CHAPTER XX: TESSA
But why are you scared?
Fear rode the doubt in her mind. The ship of fear looked like a tiny speck in the middle of the flood but it’s getting bigger as it gets closer toward the land. Fearing that she will let herself go if he gives her the chance to. Fearing that no one will catch her if she falls. Fearing that Alyssa’s words might come true. Trust and love will only make you bleed, fall, and die. As to why she was reminded of her words, she didn’t know.
Closing her eyes for a second, she rubbed her temples to make the thoughts go away. She hates herself every time she overthinks and jumps into a conclusion. At first, she distrusted him because of how he loves to fight anyone. The next thing she knows, she wanted to break the walls he put around himself. But now, she didn’t know if she’s ready to know his true self.
“You ok?” Opening her eyes, she noticed that Faz moved to a branch closer to her, his striking grey eyes searched her face.
“Yeah.”
“Why are you telling me this?” she finally asked him. He scratched the back of his neck as he looked away.
“Nothing,” he replied, “You’re bound to know.” Frowning at him, she waited for explanation. When she realized that he won’t tell her his reasons, she sighed.
“Is it because my mom and their father are related?” The person she considered her dad revealed that Margarette, her mother, and Eloise and Ellie’s father are sister and brother. The fact that her supposedly dead father appeared using elemental was too much that she nearly forgot that things he said that first time she and her companions encountered him. She sometimes wondered where he was or what the Mortemians are doing to him. Most of the time, she silently cries in her bedroom, but the grief would turn to anger.
“Things happened so it turned out that way,” he continued. She was right, Faz would only reveal what he wanted to reveal at the first place.
“Ok.” She turned toward the direction of their friends’ location.
Faz protected Eloise because she is his family. But she wondered why Skhy didn’t know and assumed that Faz romantically loved her. She wondered why Faz was desperate to find her as if she’s his lifeline. Anyone would assume they’re together when you act that way…
“What?” She could feel him staring. “I won’t tell anyone. Don’t worry.”
“She’s the only one.” She turned to him when he heard the same tone when he saw Eloise’s name in her mom’s diary and when they first saw Alyssa, Eloise’s clone. This time, his eyes looked at her with an emotion she couldn’t read. “Everyone was murdered because of our blood.” Her eyes widened. It was fear. An emotion she never saw in him and an emotion he never acknowledged. She realized that there was more to his history than what people say about him going rampage and killing anyone in his path – Concordians, Mortemians, or humans – because of his family’s death. But the emotion quickly disappeared as if it was never there to begin with.
His blood? She had so many questions but she couldn’t do it. She didn’t want him to clam up again and let her wonder about everything. Wanting him to open up naturally, she patiently waited even she noticed his eyes and expression getting darker while he’s remembering the darkness in his life.
“Skhy probably told you about my family.” She shook her head.
“No.” He frowned. “He never did.” Shaking his head, he muttered something but she couldn’t understand what he said.
“He probably wanted you tell us yourself,” she whispered. She noticed him flinched. She thought it was because of her statement but he appeared to be listening to something else because his head tilted to the left. Glancing at the direction of the house, she felt another presence. Granstire?
“A great great grandfather.” He spoke after a long silence. Nothing’s wrong. “Was likened to a crazy king who did lots of unforgivable things.” His actions probably blackened their family name.
“Anyway, that’s all.” She subconsciously pouted at him which made him grin. His smile in turn made her smile. But she caught herself and masked her smile with a cough and turned around.
“But don’t be mistaken.”
“About what?” she asked with her back facing him.
“I’m not that different from him.”
“You didn’t do it for fun.”
“You don’t know that.”
“You’re not a bad person, Faz.” He didn’t respond to her statement.
He didn’t talk again even after they met their friends but he always stood beside her. He silently watched the small reunion with Hanne. Hanne appeared livelier than ever as she talked about her travels and adventures with Ciar. Tessa wasn’t comfortable with the fact that Hanne was happy with the person who lied and betrayed the group but she was glad Hanne was safe. She promised to tell them what happened in the beginning after the seven’s training. Nate and Aria were hesitant to let Hanne go with Karl’s associate who came together with two sentries, two academy’s legionnaires and two fortress knights.
“I’ll wait for you in the academy,” Hanne told her friends, “I won’t disappear this time.” Her words didn’t comfort Nate but they had no choice. Hanne and her companions would use a portal to go to the Northern Lux, the same portal Tessa and the others used days ago to go to Cornerstone. Since the portal was far from their location, Tessa and her friends watch a sentry teleported Hanne and the others where the portal is. After they left, the team started their journey toward another region of Arconien, a place she called home for 17 years and a place she dreaded to see again.
As the group got closer to Faymagnates, Tessa kept remembering the day of the attack, the day she thought her dad and Steve died, the day of her rebirth. Her silence didn’t go unnoticed by her friends so they, particularly Lei and Clyne, tried to cheer her up. Thankful for their concern, she tried to mask her anxiety. On the night before they arrive in main city of Faymagnates, she stayed awake in her sleeping bag. She silently stood up, leaving the camp to sit beside a pond nearby. The large round moon and countless stars watched her walked through the forest while the bright moon illuminate her path. She sat near the pond and watched the frogs as they jumped. The surface seemed like an exact copy of the night sky. She wished that no one noticed her absence but she let him stand silently behind her. She shifted to a more comfortable position where she can hug her legs near her chest.
“Don’t you want to sit down?” Tessa was the one who cut the comfortable silence. She felt bad for him. She heard some movements. She turned around and found him sitting where he stood earlier. He still kept his distance. His face was hidden in the shadows of the leaves and branches.
“Thanks,” she whispered after she turned her attention back to the pond.
“You don’t have to look after me all the time.” She still had no idea what made him change so much but she didn’t want his attention if it’s because of his guilt.
“That’s up to me,” he replied. She rolled her eyes. Always not listening to anyone…
“Is it bad?”
“What?” she asked.
“To look after you.” His words took her by surprise. “You said I’m not a bad person.” You’re mentioning that here?
“Yeah.”
“Then trust me more.” She didn’t know what to say.
Tessa was reminded of these memories as she falls to her death. Everything slowed down. The blue of the sky gradually turned into the darkness of the night. The body of the water dragon floated around her. As her eyes slowly closed, she felt regretful for not trusting Faz more. She regretted not visiting her old home to reminisce. She regretted not allowing herself to get attached to people. Darkness consumed her before she could think about what else she regret.
When she returned to consciousness, her eyes, head and whole body felt heavy. She couldn’t open her eyes and she didn’t want to. She might not like what she might see or not see. But she couldn’t fight the urge to open them because of the bright light. Her heavy eyes opened slowly. She immediately noticed the bright light above her in the middle of the brown sky. Brown sky? After blinking several times, she realized that she was looking at a brown ceiling.
“Water?” She moaned due to pain when she turned her head toward his voice. Faz was standing beside her bed, his whole left arm was in bandage. Even his neck. We’re alive? She wanted to ask but her throat was dry. Only when she glanced at the glass of water on a table that she noticed the swaying. Her body was swaying back and forth. No. Even the water in the glass was moving. Faz grabbed glass and placed a straw to help her drink.
“Where are we?” she croaked after a few sips. Instead of answering, he walked toward a long and wide white curtain. He pulled it to the side. She squinted because the bright light blinded her. When her eyes adjusted, the same widened when she saw that everything’s blue. She didn’t know where the sky ends. Her chest felt warm. They were surrounded by water.