Inner Woman Volume 2

Coke

Dr. Pepper

7-Up

Mountain Dew

Root Beer

Pepsi

Sprite

to name a few

they held me together

shattered pieces glued in place

I knew them all

with ice or not

Inhaled them daily

until God knows why

the scale told the story

my eyes opened wide

No don’t ignore me

you are far more than fat

the tiny weights

slid to the right,

to the very last notch

Something had to change.

The first step in many

I quit the the addiction

cold turkey to water, tea

or nothing, no sugar for me

And the first forty pounds

melted away

everyone asked how I held

sway

The bubbles, the sugar, were my

crutch you see, they kept me hidden

the terrified child buried deep

The beauty hidden under the layers

of protection was not my shame

not my blame

but the fault of the monsters

whose touch on my life

brought unbearable strife

From victim to survivor

I fought out from under

over one hundred pounds

of weight placed by childhood’s

worst fear,

until the woman I love

reappeared

I untied the soda pop knot

fraught with the tangles of guilt

replaced it with joy

chased away the horror

when kindness settled into

the dead spaces inside

peace with the past

returns

each time it digs in