In Your Wildest Dreams (Wildcat Hockey Book 4)

Ash and I spend the rest of the day in bed. The sun is setting when my stomach rumbles loudly.

Ash’s mouth curves into a smile. “Wanna grab some food and then head to your parents?”

“I should probably wait until tomorrow now. They’ll be in bed by the time I drive there.”

“Okay. We’ll go in the morning.”

“You really don’t have to come with me.”

“I want to be there. I’ll stay in the truck while you talk with them if it’s something you want to do on your own. I just can’t stand the thought of you being alone afterward.”

I nuzzle into his chest. Guilt still weighs heavily on me. I believe that he loves me and that he wants to be with me, but I worry that while Ash has been this amazing addition to my life, the things I’ve brought him are clouded with all that he’s lost.

A knock at the door makes me sit up.

“Come in,” I call.

Everly opens the door and pokes her head in. “Hey. You two decent?”

“Yes,” I say at the same time Ash says, “Never.”

Everly laughs quietly. “We have company.”

Ash and I exchange a glance.

“Who?” I ask.

“Yo, losers.” Mav tosses an arm around Everly’s shoulders, looking as casual as if he lived here. “Time to party.”

“Party? Where?”

“All shall be revealed in time.” He chuckles and flashes a mischievous grin. “I’m here to make sure you both get there. My SUV is outside.”

“We’ll follow you,” Ash says. “I’m not getting in a vehicle with you without a lot more details.”

“Just trust me.”

The party, as it turns out, is at Ash’s place. His living room is filled with Wildcat players.

“There he is!” Tyler calls as he raises a beer.

“You fuckers are throwing me a goodbye party at my house?” Ash asks with an amused smile.

“It deserves a proper send-off just like you.” Leo hugs him.

Jack hangs back, a glass of whiskey in hand. “I’m here under protest and it’s not a fucking goodbye party.”

“Thanks for coming, man,” Ash says, smiling.

Jack tips his head at me. “Hey, Bridge. Good to see you.”

I’m not sure if he means that or not, but he’s here for Ash and that’s all that matters.

“You too.”

He stands tall and points to a basket filled with phones. “Drop ’em.”

“Seriously?” Ash asks. “You know my agent is going to be calling.”

“It can all wait until tomorrow. Tonight we’re all going to be present and distraction free.”

I toss my phone in there and Ash reluctantly does the same.

Jack finally smiles. “Enjoy your party.”

Ash wraps an arm around my waist and places a kiss on the top of my head. “I have a feeling things are about to get weird.”

My heart squeezes in my chest. “They just want to say goodbye.”

I let the guys have him and find Everly in the kitchen.

“He’s really going?” she asks me. Her eyes are red-rimmed and her usual winged eyeliner is missing.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“And you too?”

“I don’t know yet, but you’re stuck with me until at least May.”

She stares down at the can in her hand. “I know that we haven’t known each other all that long, but I thought we’d be friends forever.”

“We will.” I hug her. “Forever. I promise.”

She hugs me back and when I pull away, she shakes her head like she’s snapping herself out of it. “Okay. Let’s do this night up right for your man.”

We definitely do it up right. No one leaves until well after one in the morning. Even Leo—though he and Scarlett kept switching off on carrying Callum around in a little baby carrier.

The guilt I felt earlier tonight starts to wane as I watch Ash throughout the night, but in its wake is sadness. Maybe this is the right step forward for him and for us, but it isn’t the way I would have wanted it to happen.

Ash falls into bed with a happy, drunk smile. “Why aren’t you naked and on top of me yet?”

“I can’t find my favorite sleep shirt,” I say as I rummage through my bag.

“There are no clothes required for this ride,” he says with a cocky smirk.

I’m about to give up when my hand brushes against something hard. A smile spreads across my face as I close my hand around it.

“Hey, remember the first time we met?” I ask him and walk over to the bed with it behind my back.

“Mmmm.” He hums. “You had on a black sweatshirt and a bunch of rings and I kept moving closer, trying to figure out what color your eyes were. You didn’t want to give me the time of day. It was a real ego hit, babe.”

I sit on my knees beside him and Ash crooks a hand behind his neck.

“You took off your jersey to give it to a little girl in the crowd and I thought it was the cheesiest gimmick I’d ever seen. I really wanted to find you both annoying and unattractive.”

He laughs.

“Now I know that’s just who you are.”

“Annoying and unattractive?”

“No.” I shake my head. “You work so hard at making the people around you happy. By your words and your actions.”

His smile is shy and crooked.

“You make me so incredibly happy.”

“Same, babe.”

I move my hand around and open my palm. He stares at it a beat, then takes it and runs a thumb over the Wildcat hockey logo.

“You kept the puck I gave you? You said you gave it away.”

“I didn’t even know you, but I wanted to keep some piece of you with me. Now that I do know you and your big heart, I want to keep all of you.”

He stiffens. “Does that mean you’ll come with me?”

“Yeah.”

He circles my waist and pulls me down onto the bed with him.

“Oh, and one more thing,” I say. “I lied to you once. Actually twice.”

His brow quirks up.

“My best kiss…you. And my favorite celebrity crush is…also you.”

Instead of the cocky retort I was sure was coming, his face softens. “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

We wake up the next morning to the doorbell incessantly ringing combined with pounding on the front door. Ash groans.

I didn’t drink as much as him, but it’s way too early for this.

“Want me to get it?” I ask him.

“No.” He groans again.

He gets up and pulls on a pair of sweats before trudging out of the room. I quickly dress and follow him. He’s opening the door to Leo and Callum when I catch up.

“Finally,” Leo says as he barges past Ash with his little boy in his arms. “Do you not answer your phone anymore?”

Ash runs a hand through his hair. “I don’t even know where my phone is right now.”

“Have you seen this?” Leo shoves his phone toward Ash.

Ash stares at it for a few seconds. His expression morphs from sleepy to wide awake in seconds. “Is this real?”

Leo shrugs. “I came straight here as soon as I saw it.”

“Is everything okay?” I ask tentatively.

They both look at me.

“What?” I ask, nerves making me want to run away instead of move closer when Ash holds out the phone to me, then hurries over to the basket for his abandoned device from last night.

My jaw drops at the headline. I glance quickly up at Leo, who is staring at me like he’s waiting for a reaction.

I can’t even guess what my expression looks like. I avert my gaze just as fast and skim through the article. After I’ve read it once, I start back at the beginning. I go through a series of emotions. Confusion, relief, unease, and the scariest emotion of all—hope.

“But how…” I trail off. I know Ash didn’t say anything and neither did I, but here it is the top story on the site: Wildcat Assistant GM Rumors of Harassment and Assault.

“Jack,” Ash says. “It had to have been.”

I stare at the little picture of Meredith under the headline. I only met her a couple of times, and I never mentioned Gabe or my previous relationship with him.

“Makes sense.” Leo bounces in place with Callum. “If he didn’t leak it to her, he’s going to be pissed. Have you heard from him?”

“No. I’ve got a bunch of texts and missed calls from my agent though.” Ash focuses on me. “Are you okay?”

The article doesn’t name me at all. Meredith only says that a top player’s girlfriend was assaulted and continues to be harassed by Gabe. She also mentions that many of the players on the team are aware of the situation and it’s made the mood in the locker room tumultuous. The most surprising part is that Meredith claims there are others. Specifically, someone from when Gabe was working as a scout for the Penguins’ junior hockey team. I never thought about the idea that he’d treated other women the same way. I guess that makes me selfish, but I was too caught up in it.

“Yeah.” My throat is dry as I swallow. I briefly wonder what my friends and family will think, but I’m tired of feeling shame for his actions. I blow out a breath. “Yeah. I’m okay. Are you?”

I have to think that this kind of attention on the team is going to make a lot of his bosses really unhappy.

His phone rings before he can answer me. “It’s Jim.”

“Answer it,” Leo and I say at the same time.

Ash’s face pales as he accepts the call and puts the phone to his ear.

The conversation doesn’t last long, but those minutes drag on with excruciating thoughts of worst-case scenarios. I’ve already cost him so much.

When he finishes, he drops his arm, still clutching his phone and runs a hand through his hair with the other.

“Well?” Leo asks, with as much impatience as I feel.

“He’s gone.” Ash’s face brightens. I don’t think I realized how much of the spark in him was missing until now. His gaze locks on me. “He’s fucking gone.”

I let out a whoosh of air. They believed me. I hadn’t even put a voice to that fear, but I acknowledge it now. Ash, Leo, Jack, Meredith, and now Jim…they all believed me, even if they didn’t know it was me, and because of that, he’s really gone.

“Does this mean you’re staying?” Leo asks, hope making his voice climb higher.

Ash looks to me, and I let the relief and hope breakthrough in my smile of agreement.