In The Name of Love

Chapter 28: Anxiety



To Prince Adalberto of Syazonia, may Chuezoh’s light shine upon him,

I hope that this letter finds you in good health and that your journey back to Zosya was a pleasant one, or at least uneventful. I know some of your brothers were rather upset with my choice, and the last thing I want is for my Quest for Favor to have spoiled your relationship with any of them. I know they will soon be my brothers, as well, and I would like to be able to get along well, or at least cordially, with all of them, if possible. Please, if you have any advice on that matter, don’t hesitate to share it.

Similarly, I would dearly like to be able to make a good impression on your parents, when I meet them in a few months. Would any particular gifts or pleasantries be appreciated? Do they have pet peeves I should know to avoid in my mannerisms or dress or speech? The last thing in the world I want is for our union to cause you any discomfort or make anything more difficult for you.

To that end, I assume that preparations for our wedding now occupy much of your time, as they do mine. I now spend the bulk of each day sorting through my personal belongings and standing in dress fittings, and my family members have graciously agreed to sit for miniature portraits to be painted of them, so that I can keep them with me, in a sense, when I come to join you in Syazonia. Can you tell me anything about the plans thus far, or will everything be a surprise? Is there anything I can assist with, to make things easier?

Forgive me if I am overstepping any boundaries. I just remember you mentioned that you might be handling matters of state while your father travels to deal with problems in the regions of Syazonia bordering Barhesta, and if that has indeed come to pass, I can only imagine how busy you must be. I seek only to lighten your load, to help bear your burdens in whatever way I can.

And so I find myself conflicted, because I don’t want to burden you with an unnecessarily long letter, but I have so many questions, and I think it is important that we get to know each other to some extent before we are married. I also flatter myself to think that perhaps reading this letter will bring you some respite from all of your duties and obligations—I truly hope that is the case.

If nothing else, I must ask—are there any restrictions on who or how many people may accompany me when I come to Syazonia for our wedding? May I keep any maids from Aethyrozia with me, or must I bid them all farewell? Please, if nothing else—please let Fifi come with me for the wedding. I know she cannot stay much past that—indeed, I have heard Father say something about her Quest for Favor happening soon after our wedding, but you mustn’t breathe a word of that to anyone—but we have been practically inseparable for most of my life and all of hers. She is taking the idea of my departure rather hard, and I would like for us to be able to stay together for as long as possible.

And—if I may be so bold—did you mean it, when you invited Emrik to come visit in autumn and said Fifi might come too? I think it’s important for you and I to spend time together just us, to figure out how to be good life partners for one another, but oh, it would mean the world to me to be able to see my siblings again from time to time after we are married. I know my father didn’t seem terribly keen on the idea, but if you are serious about it, I have faith that we can persuade him together.

I’m sorry I’ve rambled on for so long. I hope you’ve made it to the end of this letter, and that my Syazonian is passable. I hope to receive a reply from you whenever you find the time to write.

Yours Truly,

Minna

Minna sighs and looks over the parchment on her desk. It’s her fifth draft of her first letter to her new fiancé and she’s still not at all confident she’s done it right. Have I written too much? Too little? Did I ask too many questions? Have I been too forward and affectionate, or not affectionate enough? Will he think it an impertinence to his late wife? What if—

“Working on the letter again?” Fifi interrupts Minna’s worrying as she comes into their study.

“Yes,” Minna groans, hiding her face in her hands.

“May I see it?”

“No.” I don’t want you to read what I’ve written about you, Minna adds silently.

“How many times have you written it and then thrown it in the fireplace? Six?”

“Only four, and I’ll thank you to—”

“You’re overthinking it. I promise. As you’ve said, he’s a good man, a kind man. And he’s probably at least as busy as you are right now. In his shoes, I’d love to have a letter from you so that I could take a few minutes to be a person instead of being in charge of things.”

“You think he will feel that way, though? You and he aren’t exactly similar—”

“No one likes working all the time. You yourself have been telling me every night how tired you are of dress fittings and sorting chemises. And you’re more like Adalberto than I am.”

Minna smiles in spite of herself. Trust Fifi to know exactly what to say to make me feel better. Like always.

“All right, you win. I’ll send this one and stop worrying about it.” She folds the letter up and seals it with hot wax before she can change her mind.

Fifi’s face lights up. “Good. Do we have time, then, to lock ourselves in here for a while? You can play whatever instrument you want, and I’ll see if I can find something worth drawing. Unless you have more fittings or something—”

“No, I sent them away for the day. Today we were just debating fabrics, anyway. It didn’t take long. I’d love to spend time with you. I know you said whatever instrument I want, but—”

“I meant it. I just want to listen to you play. It helps me draw better.”

Minna laughs for the first time in days. “If you say so, Fifi.”


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