In The Name of Love

Kai can’t believe his own boldness, what he’s just done. Did I really just ask her to dance with me? He feels horribly out of place, and he can count on one hand the number of times he’s attended a formal ball. This occasion is far fancier than any he’s experienced before, and though learning to dance was part of his education, he fears he will make a fool of himself.

“Yes, you may,” Fifi smiles.

Kai’s heart thunders in his chest, and around him the cacophony of the Great Hall floods his ears. She said yes?! Okay. Okay. How do I…. Right. He offers her his arm, and despite his stiff, nervous movement, she accepts it and then they’re making their way to find space for themselves amongst the other couples for dancing.

“Relax,” Fifi whispers. “I’m not the sister who’s on display tonight.”

“Yes, I know. I just…” he fumbles, and then the question that’s been preying on him since the previous evening tumbles out before he can stop it. “Why am I still here?”

The orchestra starts playing a pavane, and the two of them begin to dance along. A song I know. Good. Maybe this won’t be terrible, Kai tells himself as he waits anxiously for Fifi to answer his question.

“Minna was pleased with your interview.”

“The king certainly wasn’t. Have I offended him in some way?”

Fifi bites her lip and hesitates a moment before responding. “Your performance here has been…remarkable. In the best way. Especially considering that you’ve not spent much time at court.”

“Then what—”

“It’s your father he objects to.” She says it so softly he can hardly hear her over the music and the other couples’ conversations.

“My father?” he repeats, and when Fifi nods, he cannot help but laugh. It’s Father’s doing that I’ve come here at all. I never wanted to compete in this stupid Quest for Favor, and now—

“What’s so funny about it?”

“I told you before, I only came to compete because my father wants me to marry a woman who will…advance our family’s prospects and fortune, and who could advance them more than a princess? I haven’t even been trying to impress her, really—certainly not in the interview—and now to find out that….”

“She appreciates that you haven’t been trying to impress her, actually. You’ve been genuine. And you have good instincts about ruling. None of the ambition and self-seeking behavior that my father so detests in yours.”

“I thought the king’s word was law.”

“Generally speaking. But as my mother keeps pointing out, it’s tradition that Minna gets the final say on everything in the Quest for Favor. She’s left a lot of the event planning to Mother and the staff, but her decisions have stood on which suitors stayed and which ones left.”

“She didn’t want to eliminate some of the Syazonian princes?” As soon as he’s asked the question, Kai regrets it, feeling like he’s crossed a line.

Fifi’s eyes drop from his for a moment. “I guess Father got his way about that much. But we shouldn’t be speaking of this. We should be getting to know each other. Or discussing how you learned to dance so well without spending much time at Court.”

Kai’s cheeks heat up at the compliment and he nearly misses a step. “Um. Thanks. I…had a very thorough education. At my father’s insistence.”

“You must have put effort into the dancing lessons. I…didn’t expect that. You seem like the type to prefer riding and hawking and other…outdoor pursuits.”

Should I tell her? he wonders. She seems trustworthy, curious, open. But no, not here, not now. Of all the times and places, this would be the worst one.

“I do prefer to be outside. Although I don’t like to hunt. But dancing was always better than history and arithmetic and the like. At least I was moving and doing something.”

Fifi giggles a little. “I enjoyed dancing lessons, too, for the same reason.”

The song ends. Kai bows, and Fifi dips a slight curtsey.

“Will you come back to Court, when all this is over?” Fifi inquires, catching Kai off-guard.

“I…haven’t thought about it,” he responds. He wants to ask her why she wants to know, what she’s playing at, but then Ingemar is beside them, asking Fifi to dance, and Kai withdraws. She’ll have a better time dancing with him, anyway, he tells himself. He hasn’t missed the grace and elegance with which Ingemar moves. Guess I’d better find another partner, and continue the charade. He knows there’s no chance Princess Wilhelmina will choose him, based on what Fifi told him in the courtyard, and he doesn’t understand, despite Fifi’s explanation tonight, why bother keeping him and some of the others. None of us non-royals have a chance. I’m sure I’m not the only one who knows that, he gripes. Why bother with pretenses? Would anyone notice or care if I just…left?

But that’s not the best way to think of things just now. Kai knows his father would be furious if he left before the end, especially after making it so far in the Quest for Favor, and no amount of logic or argument would cool his temper. And Princess Wilhelmina is meant to dance with every suitor here tonight, he remembers. Maybe she’ll have a better answer as to why I’m still here, why we’re bothering with this charade, than Fifi did.

Fifi’s question to him about coming back to Court rattles around inside his head, and he wonders if he’ll have another chance tonight to dance with her. He has no idea how long Court Balls typically last.

“Excuse me. I know this is rather untoward,” a sweet-looking brunette girl in an orange gown interrupts Kai’s musings. “But if you are without a partner, I believe the next dance is about to start…”

“I’ll dance with you, if you like,” he agrees. The girl smiles in reply, and he finds himself smiling back, if only because he’s grateful for the opportunity to practice before he finds himself with a royal partner again.