In My Desperate Time

I ask her, but she refuses to say anything.
I'm more convinced that she really has a child with another man, but is unwilling to mention it to me.
But who is the man?
We haven't talked to each other for a long time.
Whitney takes the child back in the court.
When I see her desperate expression, my heart aches.
Would she be happier if we had a child of our own?
"Jane, I'm sorry. I know you like kids. It's my fault that I couldn't keep your child. Let's have a child. I want you to be happy," I say
seriously.
After a shower, I hug her tightly.
However, she freezes, her face full of resentment.
When I kiss her, she bites my lips.
"Jane, are you crazy?" I say sternly.
Jane is really like a rose. I try to please her. But in the end, I only get hurt.
I'm really annoyed that I can't figure out what she is thinking.
"Frances, leave me alone. Every bit of you is disgusting!" She sneers.
Disgusting?
Does she feel disgusted when I touch her?
Her words ignite my anger.
Why is her so sick of me? For which man she is keep her chastity?

"Disgusting? We had sex for so many times. You're my wife. What's wrong with having a child? Or is it because you just want to
have children with another man?"
This is not what I think, but I can't refrain myself from saying those harsh words.
While I regret what I've said, Jane said, her teeth gritted, "Can you stop talking about the child? You are the last person who has
the right to blame me for not having children!"
Here we go again.
Whenever I mention kids, she is like that.
What has happened to the last child? Why is her so emotional every time I speak of the child?
Puzzled, I want to figure out what's on her mind. I want to see through her.
I stop and sit to the side, staring at her in half seriousness and half doubt.
I need an answer, very urgently.
"Why are you so emotional every time I mention the child? What's wrong?!"
"Frances, you killed our child! Do you know how much I hate you?! I want you to die!"
She shouts at me, tears rolling down her cheeks.
What does she say?
Our child?
I suddenly have a bold guess.
"Our ... child?" I stare blankly at her, even more puzzled, "You said the child is ours?"
My heart beats faster.
It's no exaggeration that I've never been so nervous in my entire life.
I am waiting for her reply bated breath.

Jane glares at me angrily with a sneer, "Will you stop pretending?! You make me sick!"
It seems that my guess is correct.
This child is really mine.
Why on earth have I been jealous of myself?
I am overwhelmed by ecstasy. Right now, I just want to hug her and dote on her.
"It's my child. It's our child."
I whisper, my voice trembling.
My tears are flickering in my eyes.
"Tell me, where is our child now? Where is he?" I ask cautiously.
I hold her shoulders in excitement.
The thought of our child perks me up.
"Enough. He has been murdered by you! You sent Hamlin to Prague to kill him, and you are still pretending. Do you really think
I'm a fool?"
She shouts at me furiously.
Hamlin? When did I ever ask Hamlin to do this?
However, the underlining, yet more important message makes me almost collapse.
She says ... our child is already dead?
I just find out I have a child. But in the blink of an eye, she breaks such a piece of bad news to me. How can I accept it?
"What did you say? When did I ask Hamlin to do such an evil thing? How could it be?! I didn't even know that we had a child.
Why didn't you tell me?"
My heart wrenches. It aches more violently when I sense her despair.

Now I understand why her collapses at the very word of child.
It turns out that our child has long been dead.
But I never knew that we have a child. If I knew, I would not allow her to leave me. I would definitely take good care of them.
Unfortunately, I didn't know when the child came. I didn't know when he died.
I have to know what has happened.
She says with a sneer, "Sorry, I don't believe in you. I don't believe a single word of you!"
There must be a reason why she says decisively that Hamlin does it.
All I need to do now is to ask Hamlin about it.
I look at her in distress. I want to say something, but words fail me. I let out a sigh and call Hamlin.
The phone rings for a short while before it's cut off.
I call again, but he turns it down.
What's going on? Why doesn't Hamlin answer?
I turn around to look at Jane and say seriously, "You have to believe me. It's not me. You say it's Hamlin. I will investigate it. I will
not let our child ... die in vain."
She is devastated to lose her child. I am, too.
So I need to know the truth. At any cost.
However, the way Jane looks at me seems to show she doesn't trust me at all.
"No matter what you do, it doesn't change anything. My child is dead because of you. Even if you kill Hamlin, my child won't be
alive."
Tears roll down her cheeks.
I really want to ask her what has happened to the child.

But I can't. She is already hysterical. Recalling the tragic past is so heavy to her. It will overwhelm her.
Plus, she blames me for it. No matter how I can't explain, she won't believe me.
The only thing I can do now is to ask Hamlin.
"I'll go find Hamlin now and ask him to explain it to you."
With that, I rush out.
Jane's firm voice spreads from behind.
"Frances, I'll go with you."
So, I go to find Hamlin with her. But we only find his cold body.
Coincidentally, just when we arrive at his place, he dies of gas poisoning.
Of course, I don't believe there is such a coincidence. There must be a deeper cause of Hamlin's death and Jane's belief that our
child is killed by me. There's a mastermind behind.
As for who the person is, I have a reasonable guess after pondering for a while.
Other than Whitney, I probably won't be able to find anyone else who doesn't want me to get along with Jane.
It's just that there's no evidence right now. This is just my guess.
Hamlin's death infuriates Jane, so much so that she says coolly, "I want a divorce."
...
Divorce?
Impossible!
It's already difficult for me to see her again and for her to return to me. How can I let her go again?
Only death can set us apart.
But she still misunderstands me. That's why she says she wants to divorce.

When truth comes out, she will not say that.
But her resolution really hurts me.
"You want to leave me? Nonsense. You won't leave me even if you die."
As expected, my words instantly stir her emotions.
"Frances, you lunatic! You have done so many bad things, you will go to hell!" She shouts at me.
I gently pinch her chin, whispering, "Then let's go to hell together."
Even if we both will suffer, I will ... not let go of her again.
When Andrew, her ex, causes troubles, I block a knife for her, and our bad relationship eases a bit.
I'm satisfied with our current relationship.
Later, we find out the person who bribes Hamlin to murder our child is Whitney.
In order to destroy Jane, she plots against her.
Jane doesn't blame me when she knows the truth.
However, not long after the good, peaceful days, another thing happens.
Mom kidnaps Jane's mother because she knows her husband died in a car accident. The culprit is Jane's father.
I have known about it for quite some time.
But I can't hate him because he's Jane's father. So I let it go.
Originally, I thought the matter would remain a secret.
But I didn't expect Mom to investigate it and figure it out.
When Jane knows it, she collapses and looks at me in guilt.
The good news is I manage to save her mother, preventing a disaster from happening.

But mom is too stubborn to let it go. In another attempt to attack Jane's mother in the hospital, she rolls down the stairs and
becomes paraplegic.
Getting ill-tempered, she targets Jane from time to time.
It's only when grandpa comes back that she restrains herself from treating Jane harshly.
I keep Jane in good company, afraid that she will leave me again.
Whitney murders our child. I won't let her get away with it.
It's just that Lawrence protects her very well, so I've never found an opportunity.
When Whitney takes Earl to see a doctor, I finally get the chance to capture her.
I have never hated a woman this much. I have never imagined that I would take so much pains to punish her.
I have done evil things to Whitney.
She's raped by a few gangsters. She has lost her virginity, the most important thing for a woman.
Whitney hates me, but this doesn't make me feel better. My hatred never subsides.
The pain of losing my child keeps me up at countless nights.
But my sorrow is nothing compares to Jane's. It would be a heavy blow for her to lose her child eight months into pregnancy.
The more I think about it, the more suspicious I grow. I notice something strange.
Jane has never seen the child die personally. Why is she so sure?
To resolve my doubts, I'm going to Prague with her.
But there's something even more important than figuring out why our child dies.
I'm going to propose.
I've arranged everything, the ring and where to propose. I only need to wait for a good timing.
We visit Jane's parents in Prague. We also go to the clinic for information.

We are convinced that the child is still alive.
That way, I finally propose without any hesitation.
I take her to Prague Square and tell her I have some business to attend to. Then I leave to get prepared.
I ask each passer-by to give her a rose.
Seeing her surprised expression, I couldn't help but smile.
I drive a carriage slowly towards her and stop in front of her.
I say affectionately, "Jane, there have been many misunderstandings since we were together. I didn't know how to express my
feelings. I have disappointed you time and time again. However, no one knows better than me how important you are to me. I'm
not good at sweet talk. I'm not romantic. To me, love should be better kept at heart. That was what I thought until I lost you."
"I was completely beside myself. I looked for you frantically, but I missed you again and again. It was my fault that you
misunderstood and hated me. But I am very glad your hatred has led you to return to me. No matter why you approached me,
even if you did so to shoot me in my heart, I would still happily accept it. At least you're back with me. Fortunately, in the end, we
can forget about all those entanglements in the past."
"I want to give you all the warmth and love in the world. I want you to be the happiest woman in the world. I want to give you all
the best things in the world. I want to give you myself."
"We are already legal husband and wife. But I have a sense of ceremony, especially when it comes to marriage. Weddings are
once-in-a-life time and will become precious memory. I have prepared it for a long time. Now, all I want to say is, Jane, I love
you. Will marry me?"
As I speak, I take out an exquisite, elegant box from my pocket. I open it, take out a ring, and put it on for her.
No one knows how fast my heart beats when I'm doing this.
Although I have prepared it for a long time and we are already husband and wife, I'm still very nervous.
...
It isn't until she nods and says yes that my heart stops beating so violently.

I feel I'm probably the happiest man in the world.
One morning, I get a text message from Whitney.
"Are you there? I will be at the gold course about ten minutes later."