Chapter 44
Axel
The first place I intended to go after we returned to the packhouse was Lily and Raiden’s room. I wanted to make sure they were ok, although every step I took, felt heavier, more difficult to take. Was this what Lily had endured all those years she went missing? Did the Host Crawler turn her into such an animal-like state too? I couldn’t help it. Images of my delicate sister flashed into my mind. Images of her once bright blue eyes frantically shifting in their sockets, wheezing noises coming out of her mouth and jerky, feral head movements, swishing her long blonde hair with it. For a second, it overwhelmed me so much, I had to step aside, away from the warriors.
Bracing my hands on a large boulder, I took large, desperate gulps of air, but it wasn’t enough. Bile pushed up and my stomach contracted violently. I tried to hold it back, but, my body wouldn’t let me and I doubled over, emptying my gut behind the dead remains of a bush.
The warriors moved off, continuing towards the pack, but one set of heavy feet stayed.
Spitting the last bitterness onto the ground, I leaned forward and steadied my hands onto my knees. I didn’t feel any better at all. Nausea swam inside me.
“There you are we have been searching all over for you,” the male had purred. My stomach contracted yet again. Body jerking, I yielded under the force of its retched repulsion.
As the last contents of my stomach came spewing out, the set of feet remained behind me, a large enough distance away to give me some privacy, but not far enough that I would be unaware of the person’s presence.
It took a few more moments for me to gather myself, and when I finally stood up straight, Jarryd was waiting for me, leaning patiently against the trunk of a tree.
There was no judging in his face, no pity either. Only raw understanding. A fellow tortured soul, knowing all too well the depths of an empty, hollow chest.
Wiping my mouth with the back of my arm, I took a deep steady breath and aimed for him. He didn’t say anything as we fell into step, making our way back to Dire Mountain. Darkness had fallen about half an hour ago and I couldn’t help but cringe knowing that I would be returning only to attend my scheduled dinner with Gabrielle.
Surely, she would understand that I needed to see my sister first. To see that she was alright with my own eyes.
A young male wolf had brought us light linen shorts earlier, when we were still at the clearing, searching the area for any other signs of intrusion.
All of us had to dress in the cream-coloured fabric on request of Alpha Blake. No one was allowed to return to the packhouse naked as he was giving the order to lift Dire Mountain’s lockdown status and women and children would be all over the place once we got back.
He had left with Dorian shortly after, leaving us to clear the area and clean up the bloody mess before heading back ourselves.
“Are you, okay?” Jarryd’s deep voice grumbled from beside me.
I nodded stiffly and his eyes lowered to the ground again in understanding, both of us focusing rather on the rocky path ahead of us.
I wasn’t ready to speak yet. I didn’t want to face it. To know that there were still strange, invisible creatures out there who could harm my loved ones. It made me feel so utterly helpless, weak. How could I protect the ones I loved if I couldn’t even see my enemies?
And my sister, on her way to becoming a mother herself. How would she be safe in a world of constant darkness? She couldn’t even run if something happened to her because she cannot see. Yes, maybe through her wolf’s eyes, blurs of basic colours, but in her wolf form, she wouldn’t be able to carry her child with her, protect the pup by hugging it tightly to her chest and running for safety.
No, she wouldn’t be able to.
She would stay with her pup undoubtedly. There was no way she would ever abandon one of her own, even if it meant not being able to run and get help. Her heart was soft and easily hurt. Her loyalty immense.
No, we would only find her remains, along with the pup’s.
“Is it your sister?” Jarryd asked, voice sounding low and rasp.
I couldn’t face him as I answered, “yes.”
After a few moments of silence, he finally said, “I am sorry. I’ve heard the stories.”
Acid burned in the back of my mouth, and I had to swallow a couple of times to rid myself of the awful taste. I have never spoken to anyone about what had happened. What I had gone through during that time. What I was sure all of us had gone through.
We kept moving. Putting one foot in front of the other. On and on, like life. A slow, but steady continuation of time and a series of meaningless actions.
One day, I would be able to talk, but not yet. Not today.
When we eventually made it back, I went up to Lily’s room first. To my surprise, Gabrielle was there too, making sure she was ok and cared for. My heart swelled at the sight of it. The two women sat flat on the carpeted floor around a small coffee table in the middle of the living room. A plate of biscuits sat on the little wooden table, and each had a chunky white cup of hot chocolate in hand. Both of them turned to face me the moment I opened the door. Gabrielle’s eyes met with mine, but Lily’s only turned in the general direction of where I was.
“It’s Axel,” Gabrielle said, gently placing her hand on Lily’s knee.
My sister smiled a soft, kind smile while Gabrielle’s gaze remained on me, travelling up and down my body as though she was searching for any possible injuries. I didn’t expect to find her here.
“I,” I looked down at my bare chest and the plain linen shorts, “was planning on getting cleaned up first, before meeting you.”
“That’s quite alright,” she replied, although her voice got caught in her throat for a moment as her eyes lingered just below my navel for longer than it should have.
I couldn’t help but grin.
“Gabby here came as soon as she heard what was going on. She wanted to see if I was ok,” Lily said as I stepped inside and closed the door behind me.
Ray stood by the window, looking out over the communal garden below, dimly lit with lamps and tiny lights. He nodded in greeting and also scanned me up and down, checking for injuries, much the same way as Gabrielle did, although, I must give him credit for not devouring me with his eyes as she did.
“That’s very kind of you,” I managed to say, well aware of Gabrielle’s burning gaze.
Grabbing a biscuit for myself, I plopped down on the chair behind my sister and sank back into its soft cushions. Lily on instinct slipped a lazy arm over my leg beside her.
“My father said you caught the guy?” Gabrielle asked while bringing the rim of the mug to her full, soft lips.
Unable to look away as her lips parted for the brown hot liquid to slide into her inviting mouth, I cleared my throat and took a bite of the biscuit. Raiden has also turned to hear what I had to say.
“Yes, I guess you can say that.”
“No, he’s in pieces, isn’t he?” Lily asked almost in a teasing manner although we all knew it was no joke at all.
“He is still in one piece,” I replied and ruffled her too perfect blond set of hair.
“Axe! Don’t make me tell Gabby embarrassing stories about you,” she fired back through her laughter.
It was like music to my ears and a plaster to my heart.
Gabrielle was smiling brightly, and I winked at her while shoving the rest of the biscuit into my mouth.
I didn’t want to tell Lily about my encounter with the human male, and most of all, I didn’t want this moment to end. Her carefree laughing, Ray sipping contently on the hot chocolate in his hand, shaking his head at our antics and the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, sitting mere feet away from me, smiling shyly and trying not to stare too long at my ripped chest. I might have flexed a muscle or two, just for the fun of it.