IN FULL COLOUR - Dark Fantasy

Axel

Confused, frustrated, anxious.

My wolf had stirred in her presence for the first time in months. It felt like heaven, although it was only for a brief moment. I tried to pull him out, to summon him completely, but he sensed my desperation and retreated into the back of my mind again.

He was reluctant. Probably still angry with me for rejecting our mate, but I was relieved. Relieved to know that he was still somewhere in there. I just needed to find a way to get him to come back out. Lure him out in some way, make him accept me again as he once did. I needed him more than I could have ever imagined, and he needed me just as much. We were one, yet I had no idea of the amount of pain he must have endured to retreat so fully.

I didn’t blame him though; he was driven by instinct, and I had denied him that time and time again. There was no way he would ever understand why I did what I did. Why I denied my feelings towards Gabrielle. Why I tried so desperately to push her out of my mind, out of my dreams.

After I had finished pacing and changed into dry shorts. My eyes drifted towards the bathroom. She was still lingering in there, probably scared and waiting for me to calm down first.

She had to come out one time or another since I stood between her and the only exit. I wasn’t sure whether I should just leave and give her time to exit without my looming presence or stay and confront her. My mind told me to leave, but something else told me to stay.

My gut felt uncomfortable and thick as I took a seat on the edge of the bed, leaning forward with my elbows resting on my knees. I wanted to see her again, but I also didn’t want to see her. I wanted to smell her, feel her warmth again as I did in the bathroom, but I also wanted her gone. What was happening to me?

My mind was making me crazy, fighting relentlessly with my heart, the very weakness I had grown to hate over the years. I hated having a heart because it only caused me pain and suffering. I had tried to kill it numerous times, dull it in any way possible, but it kept pushing forward, making me feel and experience things I didn’t want to.

I didn’t want to feel my sisters unexplained, horrible absence in my chest anymore. I didn’t want the guilt to pester me day after day, remind me of how I had failed her. Hear my brother’s harsh words echoing through my being, “maybe if you cared as much for this family as you do for your whores, we wouldn’t be in this situation right now!”

My broken heart throbbed, constricted in agony.

I hated the damn thing.

I hated feeling. I hated getting excited every time I saw Gabrielle. I hated being drawn to her, my every cell yearning to take her, make her mine, mark her as ours. And most of all, I hated dreaming of bedding her every second night and waking up alone and hollow the next morning. Lying there, knowing that I could never have her and would always be alone. Die alone.

She moved. In the bathroom. I heard her as she turned the water in the shower off and took small, unsure steps toward my bedroom.

When she had reached the doorway, she stopped, and I couldn’t help but peer up to see what she was doing. I didn’t fully lift my face, but rather raised my brows and tilted just enough to look up at her from where I sat.

My right leg had begun to jump anxiously, and I saw her eyes scan over it. Over me.

I kept looking at her as she slowly stepped forward, not towards the door, but towards me.

No, don’t, get out! Don’t come any closer, please.

She moved until she was right in front of me and crouched down to look me in the eyes. Her hair and clothes were damp and some of the matted hair strands stuck to her well-defined, fragile jawline, guiding my eyes towards her full, slightly parted lips.

My mouth had gone dry, and words evaded me as she sat there, watching me, while I inwardly admired her beauty.

She was the most beautiful creature I had ever laid eyes on; only one more reason why she should stay away from me.

“Please,” she said, her words gentle and caring, “let me help you.”

I blinked, the only indication of something that stirred, still lived inside of me.

“What are you doing here?” My voice was the complete opposite of hers. Deep, husky and edged in darkness.

“I-” She looked pained, guilty and took too long to answer my simple, straightforward question, which meant she was hiding something.

“I asked, what you are doing here?” I tried again, venom dripping from each word.

“I was worried,” she blurted out, eyes wide and fingers fidgeting with the hem of her wet shirt.

I didn’t know what to say. Sure, I had left the dining room enraged, but it couldn’t have caused her to be worried, could it? And worried about what exactly?

Did she actually think that I would rip someone apart just because I couldn’t control my anger?

“What do you mean?” I bit out and finally lifted my face to fully look at her.

“I-uh-you,” she tried, but I could see she was searching for some kind of excuse. I didn’t want some damn excuse; I wanted the truth.

“The truth, please,” I growled, this time louder than before.

Her eyes flashed, golden and glowing. The wolf inside of her alert and waiting for me to pounce. She recognised me as a predator.

As if in answer, my wolf stirred deep within.

Something must have shown on my face because she lost her balance and fell backwards onto the plush carpet. Her eyes stayed fixed on mine like I would strike the moment she looked away.

She was afraid of me. My gut tightened at the mere thought of it. Pain.

It was my own damn fault. Good. Let her be. At least next time she would think twice before barging into my room.

Her large caramel eyes burned into mine, her mouth opening and closing again, but no words came out. She didn’t know what to say.

“Get. Out.” I rasped. My voice sounding cold and deadly.

She blinked. Once. Twice.

“I’m sorry,” she finally said, tears brimming her eyes.

Hurt slammed into my chest once again, but when I opened my mouth to say something, she left.

I was a jerk.

I was weak and would never deserve someone like her. Someone so pure and innocent. An angel in disguise.

It wasn’t her fault. The innocence inside of her simply lead her to believe that I had a heart. It was naïve and extremely foolish.