I’ll Always Be With You (Lancaster Prep Book 4)

MY HEART STOPS at his words.

It depends on what you want.

No one has ever really cared about what I want. Not my parents. Not the few friends I’ve had. Not my siblings. They’re too wrapped up in their own shit and I don’t blame them. My parents claim they only want what they think is best for me, but who knows. Only by sheer determination and will am I here now, living my life in London and dancing on the stage.

Is it because of who I am? The family connections and the wealth my last name brings isn’t a deterrent in this situation and I take advantage of it. Why wouldn’t I? At least I’m not sitting on my ass and doing nothing, which is what I could be doing with my trust fund.

But this man sitting in front of me is wanting to frame his life around mine. Around my wants and desires and needs. That is …

Shocking.

Overwhelming.

In the very best way.

“You said something to me earlier.”

He tilts his head. “What did I say?”

“That you had a gift for me.” I smile at him, resting my hands in my lap. “Was that a lie?”

“I would never lie to you.” He reaches around for his jacket, digging into it and withdrawing a small, black velvet box. Jewelry. A ring box.

My stomach starts churning with nerves. What in the world? That better not be—

“Don’t look into it too deeply. It’s not what you think.” He sets the box in the center of the table. “For you.”

I stare at it like it might be a snake ready to strike, lifting my gaze to find West watching me with amusement.

“It won’t bite.” He waves a hand at the tiny box. “Open it.”

Reaching for the box, I slowly crack it open to find a gorgeous ring nestled inside. The round stone is large and a vivid blue, surrounded by tiny diamonds, and the band is paved with diamonds as well.

“It’s tanzanite, set in platinum,” West explains. “When I saw it, it reminded me of you. Your eyes.”

I’m speechless. It’s truly the most beautiful piece of jewelry I’ve ever seen, and I did absolutely nothing to deserve it. “It’s too much.”

“No, it’s not. Try it on.”

I pull the ring from the box and hold it up to the light, the diamonds sparkling. It’s beautiful. And I stand by my statement—it’s definitely too much.

I’m about to put it on my ring finger on my right hand when West’s voice stops me.

“Try it on your middle finger.”

I do as he says, and it’s a perfect fit. I never wear rings, so it feels heavy. Holding up my hand, I splay out my fingers, staring at the ring for a quiet moment.

“I bought it specifically for your middle finger so when you feel the need to flip me off again—which I’m sure you will—I can see the ring that I bought you and know that you belong to me.”

My startled gaze meets his.

“I’m getting ahead of myself but come on, Carolina. You know the truth.”

The air grows heavier the longer we both stay silent until finally I can’t stand it any longer.

I aim my new ring in his direction, lowering all of my fingers until only the middle one is up, the ring glinting from the flickering candle in the votive.

West smiles. “I like it.”

“You would.” I jab my middle finger in the air before I drop my hand to the table, my gaze still stuck on the ring.

It’s exquisite. Too much. I don’t even want to know what he spent on it, or what this all really means.

“If you’re uncomfortable wearing it, I understand,” he says quietly.

“I’m not uncomfortable, West. It’s just—this is so wild. I haven’t seen you in two years. Then you just show up out of the blue in London like we’re old friends and have no weird shared past. Like, shit went down between us. Your leaving Lancaster Prep and never coming back …”

Broke my heart. Ruined me for anyone else. Tore me to pieces and made me realize I’d be a fool to let anyone into my life. Not to mention his utter lack of concern for my feelings when it came to the whole Mercedes thing.

That still hurts too. Way too much.

“It was wrong, and I’m sorry,” he finishes for me.

Unable to resist, I flip him off, making sure he gets a good, long look at the ring he gave me before I drop my hand into my lap. “Thank you for the apology.”

“I do feel like shit for what happened. I have no excuses. I was young and stupid and overwhelmed.”

I nod.

“And I didn’t understand how to navigate the relationship thing, you know? I wasn’t very good at it.”

“I’ll say,” I retort. Though really, I was exceptionally terrible at it too.

“But I want to make up for it. I’m here for however long it takes, Carolina. I don’t need to be in the States. All the paperwork has been done and I’m just a phone call away for anyone who needs me. The only person I want to be with right now is you. Even if you’re flipping me off and telling me to go to hell, I’m going to do my damnedest to make you see that we’re perfect for each other.”

I actually snort, immediately covering my lips with my fingers, the ring heavy. A symbol of how I’m feeling.

Heavy with emotion. With doubt. With joy.

Can you be both happy and sad about something? I think so.

“I know. Kind of a crazy concept, am I right?” West shifts in his chair, his expression dead serious. “I want to try again.”

“You’re going to have to try really hard,” I warn him.

“I’m prepared for that.” His look is almost like a warning. “Are you?”

AFTER WEST PAYS FOR DINNER, he escorts me out of the building, guiding me with his hand low on my back, his fingers burning through the thin cotton of my dress. I’m ultra-aware of his nearness, his scent, the fact that I’m not wearing anything under my dress and I’m tempted to tell him exactly that.

But then I think better of it and decide to keep my mouth shut.

We exit the restaurant, the cool breeze hitting us, making me shiver.

“Cold?” His voice is low and terribly close to my ear and I nod, rubbing my upper arms briskly with my hands.

He comes to a stop on the sidewalk and so do I, watching as he shrugs out of his jacket and slips it carefully over my shoulders. It’s huge, engulfing me almost completely and most likely making me look like I’m not wearing anything under the jacket. He’s standing directly in front of me, tugging on the lapels to cover me completely, his knuckles brushing against the front of my dress, that light touch making my nipples harden almost painfully.

“That good?” he asks, his hands still gripping the lapels, his gaze lifting to mine in question.

I nod, my breath lodged in my throat, swallowing the whimper that wants to escape when he slides his hands down, those knuckles brushing me the entire way until he finally lets go.

“I’ll drive you back to your flat.” He starts walking once more and I keep up with him, noting how tall he is next to me. How protected I feel when I’m with him.

I glance down at my hands that are clutching the front of his jacket, the ring shining up at me as a reminder that I’m wearing it. That I agreed—to a certain extent—that I’m his.

The anxiety rises and I try to tamp it down, but by the time we’re approaching the gorgeous Aston Martin, I swear I’m in a full-blown panic attack.

“Carolina? Are you all right?”

I realize I’m breathing loudly. And I’m shivering. West grabs hold of me, wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me into him and he’s so solid and warm. It’s like being enveloped by an oven, and I rest my head against his chest, listening to his rapid heartbeat. He allows me to stand there silently for long, agonizing minutes, running his hand over my hair, his tone gentle as he reassures me.

“You’re going to be all right. Just breathe.”

I cling to his words as much as I cling to him and I’ve got my face fully shoved into chest. His shirt is unbuttoned a few extra buttons and I sort of want to press my nose to his skin and breathe deep his scent but …

I don’t want to seem like I’ve completely lost it so I restrain myself.

“You seem better,” he says a few minutes later, his fingers still tangled in my hair. “Are you ready to go?”

I nod, keeping my head bent, almost afraid to face him. He slips his fingers beneath my chin and tilts my head up, my gaze meeting his and all I see is warmth and acceptance there. I don’t remember West ever looking at me like this when we were younger.

“I’m rushing you.”

“Completely.”

“I don’t mean to. I’m just—eager.” He releases my chin, his thumb touching the corner of my mouth. “I’ve missed you.”

His finger on my lips burns right through me and I close my eyes, leaning into him. He cups the side of my face, his voice a raw whisper when he says, “I’m asking too much from you. It’s just that you’re so damn beautiful. You’re all I’ve thought about for I don’t want to admit how long. And after seeing you at your brother’s wedding, I knew I had to come to you. I had to convince you that what we could have is real.”

“You scare me.” I open my eyes, wishing he knew just how badly he does. “I don’t know if you deserve me.”

“I don’t.” He dips his head, his mouth brushing against mine when he speaks. “But I’m going to work hard to prove to you that I do.”

He kisses me then, his lips warm and soft. He doesn’t push, doesn’t ask for anything else from me, and when he eventually pulls away, I try to ignore my disappointment.

“Come on.” He steers me toward the car, heading for the passenger side. “Let’s get you home.”

He deposits me into the passenger seat and shuts the door for me, rounding the car and sliding into the driver’s seat seconds later. There’s no showy revving of the engine this time, though it rumbles when he starts it, all of that restrained power reminding me of him.

I watch him blatantly as he drives, too far gone to care. He maneuvers through the streets of London with ease, as if he was born driving in England his entire life, and I’m impressed. I’m not much of a driver in the first place and I don’t dare try and drive here. I’d much rather take public transit and leave it to the professionals or those from here.

“You’re staring,” he says at one point when he’s stopped at a light, glancing over at me with a knowing look.

“I can’t help it. I’m impressed with your driving abilities.” I decide to be truthful. “I’m also shocked that you’re here. That I’m in your car and wearing the ring.”

“The ring means nothing.”

“It means a lot,” I correct, my voice thick with emotion. “You don’t just buy me a ring so you can see it when I flip you off.”

“I can guarantee you’re going to flip me off again, and it’s going to be sooner rather than later.” He sounds amused.

The light turns green and he guns the engine, the car roaring down the street. It’s late and traffic is light and I realize I didn’t give him my address, yet he knows exactly where to go.

“How do you know where I live?”

His expression turns sheepish. “You told me.”

“Did not.”

“Pretty sure you did.”

“Weston.” My voice is firm.

“Carolina.”

“How do you know?”

A sigh leaves him as he makes a sharp right onto my street. “I followed you.”

“You stalked me?”

“Followed you,” he says again.

I sit up straighter, faintly alarmed. “Why would you do that?”

“I wanted to make sure you got home safe.” He shrugs one shoulder. “I trailed you home on the tube one night.”

“What?” My mouth drops open in shock. Is he serious?

“Yeah. You didn’t notice me, which is also concerning because clearly you aren’t paying attention to your surroundings. I got off on the same stop you did and lurked in the shadows as you made your way home.”

“That’s terrifying.”

“I know. I was terrified for your safety. You had AirPods in your ears, Carolina. Anyone could’ve snuck up on you and you would’ve never heard them.”

How did this turn around into me being reckless with my safety versus my questioning his borderline criminal behavior by admitting he followed me home while, and I quote, “lurking in the shadows?”

Though there is a part of me buried deep that is thrilled at his wanting to make sure I’m safe. It’s almost sweet of him.

He pulls next to the curb in front of my building, putting the car in park and shutting off the engine. “You’re mad.”

“More like I’m disturbed. Though maybe you’re the disturbed one here.”

His smile is rueful. “Like I said, I was worried about you. You’re rather oblivious.”

“I guess I don’t expect my ex to follow me around like a stalker.”

“Jesus, I’m not a stalker.” He leans back in his seat, exhaling roughly. “It’s going to be difficult winning you back, huh.”

“You deserve a challenge.”

He turns his head, the grin on his face stealing my breath. “I’m ready for it.”