If only he loved me too

The very next morning I had written a long and very resourceful resignation letter and I had emailed it to the source of my unhappiness, the bane to my existence, and also the love of my life, the CEO of the M&T chain of companies.

I had ignored all of his urgent calls and texts, his voicemails begged to differ that he might be happy to know I dropped his ass flat on the pavement as he does over and over again, so, this is what he feels like when he leaves me to dry, it Doesn't matter to me if he is happy or not, I won't let him play with my life like some boardgame ever again. The words his grandmother spoke to me shed some light on the matter that he is using me on his terms, he wasn't there when I wanted him, and not it's my turn, I know it makes me sound petty but this is how I feel today so I'm gonna enjoy today and keep this regret and enlightenment for tomorrow.

I inhale a deeply encouraging and brave breath to get out of the car and walk towards the M&T building my spirit killer.

I smile at everyone on my way towards my ex-office and for the last time slide in my access card. On entering the room was just the way I left it, quickly I gather up my stuff and put it in a single box, I know it's a coward way out but I'm not ashamed of it. If I don't do it now, I know I can never have the courage to do it again.

I look at the room one more time and drop the key card on the table and leave, this time for good. I walk to the elevator and press to go down to the parking lot, the door was about to be closed when a hand stopped it and much to my dismay it was just the PA, I smile forcefully and stood there till we hit the ground, I leave the building and surprisingly, I didn't come around any kind of drama, no yelling, no breaking of things, no pushing on the wall and kissing nothing. it was like he was finally letting me go. I get into my car and just stay there thinking, imagining, something he could do to stop me, but he did none of that, it is as if I didn't matter to him like I thought I would. Funny enough I'm not angry, disappointed, definitely but not angry

It's like deep down I knew he didn't love me the way I did, we'll he can screw himself for all I care because I'm done. I'm done with his ass and this time it stays like that, well at least for a while or so. I hope

I drove off, the building looked smaller and smaller as I drove away, it's like a huge weight had lifted off of me and I can finally breathe again.

So, this is what they call freedom? It better be because it feels amazing.

I didn't leave my apartment because I didn't think of leaving the city just, yet. but I'll think of something, I have enough in the savings to go on a couple of months without a job.

The first thing I did was call up Nicole and gather up some of our friends for a get-together or a small party. Well at least I thought I did but I ended up going to the sexiest club in the city and got shit-faced drunk with only Nicole. Both of us didn't need other people to celebrate my walk away from the most toxic relationship I have ever had, which doesn't implicate anything because I didn't have any but whatever, I was having the time of my life without any regrets or concerns.

Nicole laughed at me drunk as hell herself too "your shit faced," she giggled crazily

I giggled twice as hard "no, your shit faced" we both doubled over laughing we look over the bartender "Mr. Bartender, two more shots, please" I order smiling, at him all drunk

I look over Nicole "he is such an asshole, I mean he didn't even try to stop me, "I exclaim upset, she nods not getting a single word "I mean he left me twice" I show her my two fingers "twice, and I went out to find him, and that motherfucker didn't even stop me or call me or break down my front door and beg me to come back or ask for forgiveness nothing." I ramble again and again "you know what I should call him "I say wicked

She sobers up a little "no, no Erika that's a bad idea," she tries to reach for my phone but I move away

"Yes, yes it's a very good idea, I should call him and trash talk to him and get all that frustration out" I hit the call option and wait for him to pick up

"Hello," he said his voice neutral and seductive I think the drunk version of me is feeling it affects twice the hard than it normally does.

"Listen here you piece of shit, " I start getting out of my seat to stand and scream into the phone

"Erika?" He asked certainly shocked by my statement, maybe checking his phone again to make sure he picked my call and not someone else's.

"Yes, it's me you son of a bitch, you are such an asshole, you left me twice TWICE! And I still came looking for you, searching for your sorry ass and you didn't stop me" I cry at the end of my angry rant, the other side of the line was silent I almost hung up thinking he was gone but his breathing was audible so at least he was listening

"You... you... you didn't even try to stop, pull me closer, slam me on the wall and convince me with a mind-blowing kiss and beg me to stay. Six years Dimitri, six-fucking-years, and nothing, I mean nothing to you, you bastard I hope you did alone and regret when you watch me get married, have kids, and grow old with a person who is gonna love me so much that you can't even imagine, I hate you, I fucking hate you," with that, I hang up sobbing into the floor completely heartbroken, Nicole sat beside me holding me closer and rocking me back and forth as I sobbed into her chest like a baby

I don't remember much but I wake up on the softest bed with an amazing view of huge windows and a white royal suite, with a balcony facing the cities view. I looked at my right and found snoring, cake faced, completely smashed Nicole and smile

For the last time, I think I'm going to be Okay☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐