I Know How You Feel

From what I heard, I was pulled out of the rubble by a fireman. They suspected me to be the only causality among the civilians. The PAV members died on impact with the bombs. I couldn’t have saved them even if I wanted to. To the fireman’s surprise, I had a pulse. I was immediately hospitalized. When they got an I.D. on me, they found that I was a missing person. You can imagine the news that stirred up. My name was on the nationwide news for over a week. I was the “New Jersey teenager survivor of kidnapping and bombing”. I never got to see my parents’ faces when they first saw me like I wanted, but I could hear their voices in my mind. So many people talked to me while I was asleep that I sometimes wonder if I would have ever woken up without them helping me find my way.

I was in a coma for three months. Every day for those three months someone would talk to me. You can imagine my frustration when I couldn’t talk back.

I remember Sam telling me that she went back to school and that everyone was praying for me in their own way. She begged me to get better and I wanted so much to be able to, but my mind wouldn’t let me.

I remember my family staying in my room for entire days playing my favorite music and talking about things that happened and all my presents that I couldn’t see. I remember my

brother whispering for me to wake up over and over until he was pulled away.

I remember I felt like a dead body in a casket that could hear. I imagined it being hell and wondered why I was being punished.

The second month my mom saw a limo come up to our house. She peeked through the blinds and saw a girl with brown pixie cut hair come out of it and walk up our sidewalk. It took my mom several blinks to recognize the girl. She was my favorite singer. Eva Lynn was knocking on our front door. My mom scrambled to clean a few things that were already spotless, I imagine, and opened the door.

The hit solo artist strutted through our front door and immediately asked for me. My poor mom sighed and asked if Eva Lynn wanted some food. Over bread and olive oil, my mom shared my story. Well, the part she knew anyway. Eva Lynn explained she saw me on the news and recognized me from my fan letter. It took her a few weeks but she found my letter and wanted to see me. My mom assured her that as soon as I woke up and was healthy again that she would call. The singer went away empty-handed and decided to perform a concert for the lamenting kids of John Cabot High School. I couldn’t imagine they were all upset by my state, but I like to think that.

I’m really not sure how I did it, but a month later, right after school got out, I decided to wake up like it was any morning. I opened my eyes and heard the whispers and shouts of dreaming thoughts. I was initially shocked that I could still be telepathic; I’d thought that I had killed that part in my brain off. But nonetheless I sat up slowly and was surprised at first to not see broken limbs or bandages. The time may have been three months for them, but to me it felt like a day. When my mom came into the room bawling happy tears with my older sister, I was still swallowing the fact that I was alive.

“Oh, Olivia!” my mom whispered through her tears. I slowly raised my hand and touched her face, trying to make sure she was real. Did Heaven have tears? My older sister sat at my other side and held my hand. It took me a day to start talking again.

The first thing I said was, “Get this needle out of my arm. It hurts!” to the nurse.

She nearly jumped and followed my wishes. I sped through my rehab and went home a week earlier than they thought. Sam was so happy to have me back. Richard had to sit on his hands so he wouldn’t give me a bear hug and Wyatt had all the choir kids surprise me with a welcome home party.

The loud noises stirred up some memories and I ran upstairs. Sam came after me and we both ended up crying. I don’t think anything could have brought us closer than what we went through.

My mom kept her promise and secretly called Eva Lynn when I was back to full health. When she showed up at my door my first reaction was to scream. Like a crazy fangirl.

“Oh, my gosh! Eva Lynn, what are you doing here?” I squealed.

“Returning a favor. You mind eating lunch with me?” she asked.

“Of course!” I yelled.

She laughed and my cheeks burned.

“Sorry. I’m just surprised. That usually doesn’t happen with me,” I said in a lower tone.

“That’s okay,” she said smiling.

I knew what she was planning on asking me. The prospect of it was what made me squeal. But I wasn’t going to tell her that.

“I saw you,” she started in a low voice as the waiter set down our food in a hurried fashion.

Everyone was scrambling to get her things. I wondered how we were going to have a private conversation because even in the back of the restaurant, we still had people craning their necks to get a picture. Thankfully there weren’t many people around but I was sure in about an hour this place would be packed.

“I knew I couldn’t tell anybody, but I saw you at the Awards. You did that didn’t you? They said it was an act of God that the roof stayed up long enough for everyone to get out. I don’t believe it. Call me crazy; I don’t care. You had to have done something.” She looked at me with a pleading look and I knew this had been eating at her for a while.

I let out a sigh and searched her mind to see if she would keep it a secret. When I found that I could trust her, the whole entire story poured out of me. She listened closely without a skeptical thought. We ended up staying for a lot longer than I expected in that little booth. The owner respectfully closed the diner when the crowd began to come in. He shooed everyone out and told us to stay as long as we wanted. When I finished the story she let out a breath.

“Wow, you’ve been through a lot,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be. You have no idea how much of a relief it is that I can finally talk to somebody besides Sam about it.”

“I’m glad you actually shared it with me. I mean, you saved my life. That’s huge. You saved everyone’s life,” she said. “I came here to ask you to make an album with me but—I feel like I owe you so much more. My fans are always there for me and I can’t ever give back as much as I get from them. Even more with you! I mean, no one gets to know what you did. And if you, like, told them, they probably wouldn’t believe you. Most people are more apt to believe in God than this. But I saw it. I just, I really wish there was something we could--I don’t know. It’s all just so unfair for you to save the world and go unnoticed.”

“I don’t know but I think doing an album with you would definitely suffice! Besides,” I paused and looked down at my hands. “I had my own debts pay.”

My tone darkened and Eva Lynn looked at me, pursing her lips. She agreed with Sam: Misty wasn’t entirely my fault. She was a victim of circumstance. I still struggle to accept that, but I’m getting better. So was Misty. She later became Prom Queen, I heard.

“So when do we start?” I asked smiling.

We ended up becoming quick friends and writing hit songs. You probably know them. You probably knew my media story that I convinced Eva Lynn to fabricate. I sent her a fan letter and she saw me singing and knew that I had potential. Not that it wasn’t true. Eva Lynn told me that she was just planning on coming to my house and getting the truth, but when she saw my video and my dream of becoming a singer, she changed her mind and quickly began making preparations for a new album with two vocalists.

I was the one who wanted to lie. I was scared of what you may think. And as I sit in my cabin off in the mountains like a coward, I realize I’m still afraid. Now that you have heard the real story will you hate me? I hated lying to my fans about everything. Once Eva Lynn and my album hit top of the charts all over the U.S. , I felt I needed to write something before my first tour. Eva Lynn agreed excitedly and helped me start this book. After our tour, I was not even close to being finished. I found a cozy spot not too far from home and set up a writing shop.

Oh, and I bet you’re wondering about Romeo. I didn’t forget about him. When we toured all over the world, I thought of him. When I got my first fan letter from Europe, Eva didn’t think I was going to react the way I did.

“Oh look! You got your first international fan letter!” she said tossing me an envelope.

“I wonder who it’s fr—NO WAY,” I squealed

“What?” she whipped her head around.

Printed on the envelope was Romeo D’Arco in boyish script. My heart began to race and I quickly opened the envelope. Inside was a letter with the same writing. I read it slowly taking in each word.

Dear Olivia,

I am so glad I found you. I heard you were touring the world with a famous singer and then my friend showed me your concert in England. None of them believe that we are together, but I don’t care. You disappeared and they said you could be dead. I hope you don’t think I stopped loving you, il mio cuore. My mother made me come back home. I want to see you again but for now we will have to send letters. Maybe your next tour could come to Naples? I hope your love for me is still strong.

With love,

Romeo

I smiled and hugged the letter. Eva couldn’t stop cooing.

Speaking of love, Sam and David are happily together. He moved into an apartment in Freehold and works in a small sector of the FBI there. Mostly to make sure no one comes after our family. Even after all the hectic happenings, Sam still wanted to be in law enforcement. She claims she’s experienced a lot but there is so much more she still wants to see. Her parents took it as a surprise but agreed wholeheartedly. She, of course, still designs clothing. All of my red carpet outfits are by her. I couldn’t imagine wearing anything else.

I know my journey isn’t over but I wanted to share my story with you. And who knows, my journey may end tomorrow, but I hope to live on forever in your hearts. I know it’s sappy but I mean it. So tell my story to everyone, will you?