How To Ruin A Love Comedy

“Your teeth almost cut up the insides of your mouth… You must have gotten hit pretty hard?”

She doesn’t even bother asking how this happened anymore.

At the nurse’s emotionless words, Miyuki asked.

“Are the other parts of his body fine…?”

“Yeah. However, since he bled quite a bit, he could have anemia. I’ll give you some IV fluids, so rest for today. I’ll be monitoring you until lunch at the very least.”

Wait, why are you giving me IV fluids from a needle?

Nurse-nim, the real IV fluids come out from the medicine pouch in your breasts.

I’ll lay down here so can you secretly give it to me?

“Thank you…”

The nurse smiled warmly at Miyuki who was bowing, then went over to grab the IV fluids.

I was sitting calmly on the bed when I spoke.

“Yo, Miyuki.”

Miyuki jolted in surprise, then turned around.

Looking at how wide her eyes got, looks like she isn’t used to me calling her by her first name.

“Wh-Why…?”

“Are you not gonna go to class?”

“Ah… Um… Because of that incident, 2nd period was cancelled…”

“Yeah? Then stay right here. Pass the time talking here with me.”

“Alright… I will. Should I bring you lunch?”

“Isn’t that obvious?”

Miyuki smiled lightly and shook her head.

“Alright, I will…”

“Hey did you know?”

“What…?”

“You haven’t called me properly for a while. You don’t call me by my name at all.”

“….”

Miyuki became a mute.

Since I am calling her by her first name, she’s clearly wondering if she should do the same.

She let out a huge sigh and stuttered as she spoke.

“…I … Haven’t called a man by their first name… Tetsuya-kun is fine because I called him that since we were young but…”

“I’m not?”

“Not… I think… It’s still a bit awkward for me right now…”

It’s cute how she is hesitating.

I laughed at Miyuki, and decided to ease her heart a little.

“You can call me whatever you want. We didn’t say we would both call each other by our first names.”

It may be Matsuda-kun for now, but soon enough, it’ll be Ken-kun.

And then eventually, lose the -kun all together.

I’ll make that happen.

“I understand… Matsuda-kun.”

Miyuki looked more comfortable as she spoke.

I smiled lightly at her and spoke.

“You feel relieved now right?”

“A little…”

“My throat is a little dry.”

When I put my hand to my neck and coughed, she looked at me as if she gave up and headed towards the water fountain.

Then, poured water into a paper cup and was going to hand it over to me, but started laughing as if she thought of a funny prank.

“Since you’re a patient, I’ll feed it to you. Say ahhh.”

Did you seriously think if you treated me like a kid I wouldn’t like it?

You really don’t know a thing about me.

You could even spit in the water if you want.

“Just give it to me.”

When I pretended to fight back, Miyuki’s eyes curved.

“Why? Are you embarrassed?”

It’s fortunate that the awkward atmosphere disappeared immediately.

As I was arguing with her, the nurse returned to the bed with the IV.

“Can you go take your couple’s quarrel somewhere else?”

Miyuki’s face turned red at her words.

“Th-That’s not what… Sorry ma’am…”

Even though the word ‘couple’ was directly said she didn’t really try to refute it…contemporary romance

Nurse-nim, thank you for the assist.

You are what they call a true teacher.

Considering your breasts too… It fits too well.

(TL Note: Honestly I have 0 idea what he is talking about connecting being a good teacher with having big boobs so sorry if it’s awkward to read I can’t tl the joke if I don’t get it I just translated directly cause I didn’t know what else to really do.)

**

Since I was stuck in the infirmary, I didn’t know anything about what was currently happening in the school.

Because only injured people come here.

So on the first day of school, everyone was being cautious due to the circle incident, leading me to be the only on in the infirmary,

But I was fine with it.

Every break period Miyuki came by and told me what was going on with the circle.

The members of the circle are currently under police custody, going through the disciplinary procedures.

The disciplinary committee has already gotten together.

They were already weary of the circle, and this incident was used to destroy them.

“What about me? Are the police coming for me?”

I asked as I was stuffing my face with food, and Miyuki answered as she sat by the bedside watching me eat.

“As you are a victim, the student council took that into consideration. But you look really calm? Did constantly going in and out of the police station make you used to this situation?”

“Even I have only been to the police station a few times.”

“So you have gone there then?”

“Yeah.”

At my simple answer, Miyuki’s eyes sank.

She asked as she pressured me with her gaze.

“What was the reason?”

“I got into a fight with someone that was passing me by.”

“… I expected as much… Isn’t it embarrassing picking fights with people?”

“You were like this earlier too… It looks like you don’t actually trust me do you? I didn’t pick a fight with him, he picked a fight with me. Should I ignore a guy like that, even if he’ll feel more confident and swear even more towards me?”

“While you are right… Did Matsuda-kun of that time think that deeply about it? I think you were acting in more terms of eye for an eye… Am I wrong?”

You know me well.

“Regardless of what I was thinking, the result that I fought him is the same. I’ll be more cautious from now on, so can you please stop nagging me? Do we have to do this when I am eating?”

When I looked at Miyuki as if I was genuinely hurt, she spoke hesitantly.

“Alright… You can eat… But you will be more cautious? You promise?”

“Hey.”

“It’s not that… I just wanted to make sure… An-Anyways eat up.”

If you only whip someone they will die…!

So give a carrot once in a while.

“I’m finished.”

“You still have half left…”

“I don’t want to eat anymore, since someone was being so nosy it made me sad.”

“…. Sorry…”

Miyuki put her hands between her thighs and didn’t know what to do.

Thanks to that, her skirt was pulled down tightly, revealing her Y zone and making my eyes happy.

Look at her wide hips. My kid is going to have an easy delivery.

“I’m kidding. I just don’t have a much of an appetite.”

“Is it because of me?”

“I already said it’s not… What did you eat?”

“I went to a store with Tetsuya-kun and just had something light. Oh, wait…”

She searched the black plastic bag by the corner of the bed and pulled out a strawberry cream bread and milk.

“I was going to give it to you as dessert… Do you want it now?”

“Later.”

“Okay. I’ll just leave it here. Also, Matsuda-kun you are meeting with the disciplinary committee.”

It’s finally here.

In a story involving a school, you can’t be missing the disciplinary committee.

“When is it.”

“After all the classes end today…”

“That’s early. Nurse-nim said to rest for today.”

“That’s why I asked them to switch the date… They’re too stubborn…”

I understand how the committee feels.

The incident was big enough to get many professors involved, and it was about the infamous superi circle.

The student committee probably wants to get it over with.

“You asked them? Good job.”

“If it hurts too bad, I can ask again.”

“Then it’ll hurt your image.”

“If worrying about someone hurts my image, I’ll be the one being disappointed in the student council.”

She’s got conviction. That’s why I like Miyuki.

“I’m fine. Let’s finish it all today. It’s easier that way for me too.”

“I wished Matsuda-kun would rest a bit more… You said you got hit in the head a lot… You’re already such an idiot what happens if you can’t even speak properly anymore?”

Half serious, half joking were mixed in Miyuki’s worrying.

I scoffed and spoke.

“Trying to pick a fight yet again.”

“Since I’m wouldn’t stoop so low as to fight a patient, so I’ll let you go for today.”

I’m going to hang on to this.

Later on, I’m gonna make you put on a fox tail anal plug, and make you say ‘yip’ every time I thrust.

“I’ll be at Matsuda-kun’s disciplinary committee meeting. Just as a spectator.”

As Miyuki continued to speak, my eyes opened widely.

“You are?”

“Yeah. I was asked by the student council. They told me it was going to be a good experience. I was supposed to look at other people’s meetings as well… But I declined because I didn’t want to miss class. I don’t really want to see their faces either…”

Declining because she didn’t want to miss class? Very much a Miyuki-like thing to do.

But if meetings with the disciplinary committee are happening right now, I’m worried about Takashi.

I was moved quite a bit when he stood up to Shamoyama that he was so afraid of…

I’m a bit disappointed that it was near the end of the situation, but I want to repay him for doing something manly.

I want to ask Miyuki about him, but she hates Watanabe Takashi, and probably doesn’t care about him in the first place, so let’s not.

When I meet the disciplinary committee, let’s help him avoid expulsion even if I have to force it.

**

“1st year class A, Matsuda Ken. Is that you?”

The meeting took place in a separate room that was prepared for it.

The atmosphere reminded me of a smaller courtroom, and the three police officers being in the room kind of scares me.

The student council president looking down at me from a judge’s seat-esque place was a cold looking girl wearing glasses.

Giving off an ice princess vibe, with short navy hair.

The standard student council president character. I suddenly want to conquer her. (TL Note: Conquer? Might not be the best word but it’s to “attack” her heart and add her to the harem basically.)

“Yes ma’am.”

“Everyone that was called by the disciplinary commission had a different version of the story, so please explain to us your view of the incident as the victim.”

“Well… It’s quite simple. I wanted to quit the circle, so I asked my friend Watanabe Takashi to relay the message…”

The truth was spoken from my lips.

The president went silent after hearing it all.

Now you’re going to move the glasses with your index finger.

Sliiiide

Would you look at that. It’s just as I predicted.

“When you said you wanted to leave you got hit… Is that what you’re saying?”

“Yes that’s correct.”

“Is that the requirement for quitting the circle?”

“No. It’s usually cutting off a finger.”

The president and the others around her flinched.

I guess they didn’t hear from Yamaguchi?

Miyuki… Is covering her mouth in shock.

You must be quite surprised.

The president recomposed herself and spoke.

“So that must be the standard procedure.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Then why did it stop with you just being hit?”

“I made a deal with Yamaguchi. Thankfully he accepted it.”

“Yamaguchi is the leader of the superi circle right? Yamaguchi Daimon.”

Yamaguchi’s name was Daimon?

He’s got a strong sounding name to fit with his body.

“Yes ma’am.”

“It’s not an official group, so why did you get beat up to leave? Couldn’t you just quit?”

“If I did that, I felt like it was going to get quite bothersome.”

“Why is that?”

“They would probably try to get revenge on me.”

“I see. I understand. I hear that you were close with Shamoyama Akiro, one of the main ringleaders. Is that true?”

“Sorry? What kind of bullsh…”

I quickly shut my mouth to stop myself from swearing.

The president’s lips curved upwards after seeing my reaction.

“I guess not then?”

After clearing my throat a couple times and smoothing out my voice, I awkwardly replied.

“No it’s not true ma’am.”

“What kind of relationship do you guys have then?”

“Like water and oil. What happened to that bast… hmm… him?

“He’s been expelled with criminal charges. Along with violence on school grounds, others had only negative things to say about him.”

A classic in the school life genre. The guy who was jealous of the main character attacks him in front of others.

I was supposed to teach that bastard a lesson as he ran towards me screaming, but I guess in that sense I’ve avoided that cliche.

I’m disappointed. It’s so disappointing…!

Anyways, I think that bastard Shamoyama had too much negative karma stacked up.

If others from the same circle would speak negatively of him.

“What about Watanabe Takashi?”

“Why are you curious about Watanabe Takashi’s situation?”

“He’s a close friend. He wanted to quit too, but he couldn’t because he was scared of the sunbaes.

“He didn’t say anything about that.”

“He was probably scared that they would retort.”

“You’re defending him.”

“Yes.”

The president smiled faintly.

Did she like my honesty?

Could you perhaps start wearing contact lenses?

Let’s commit sexual misconduct together.

“You’re quite honest. Watanabe Takashi has been suspended for a month.”

I was going to try and stop his expulsion, but if it’s just a month suspension it’s rather weak.

Rest well, and see you later Takashi.

“I see.”

I spoke about lots of other things, and received 50 hours of volunteer work in the school as punishment.

I did cause the whole thing, but I only wanted to quit the circle and was a victim. I think the sincerity I showed before the break also helped me get off easier.

I was honestly surprised.

I expected a week suspension at the least.

Is this the main character buff? It’s sweet.

“50 hour volunteer work… You’re gonna have to clean bathrooms again huh?”

Miyuki spoke as she held a notebook tightly.

I scoffed and responded.

“I’m never cleaning bathrooms again. The president never told me what kind of volunteering I had to do.”

I have to start doing club activities, so I can’t be cleaning other people’s shit.

“Then what are you going to do?”

“I’ll do mostly cafeteria stuff. Since most people bring their own lunches it’ll be easy.” (TL Note: He means like putting cafeteria food on people’s plates. Couldn’t really get that across I think.)

“You’re quite good at cheating the system…?”

I won’t always work at the cafeteria.

Why? I want to eat lunch with Miyuki on the roof.

“Or I can clean the room after club activities.”

“That seems good. I’m really glad it was just volunteer work and nothing worse.”

I put one arm on Miyuki’s head, and stretched with my other arm.

“It ended up all working out in the end. Feels refreshing.”

“I feel suffocated. Move your arm.”

“Be quiet. Where’s is Miura?”

“He’s visiting the kendo dojo.”

“I suppose he has a surprisingly meticulous side to him?”

“It’s normal to introduce yourself after joining a club. Matsuda-kun is just carefree.”

“I had no choice. I was with the disciplinary committee.”

“Let’s put that aside then. Speaking of the disciplinary committee… You were about to swear weren’t you?”

I stood still and made an expression to show I was sick of it.

Then I put on a joking smile and nodded.

“That’s right. Are you going to punish me? Should I take off my pants?”

“Wh-Why are you taking off your pants…?”

“Weren’t you going to spank me?”

“… You’re being ridiculous… Do you always have to make perverted jokes?”

“Why? It looks like you like it too though? You’re smiling.”

“Wh-What are you talking about…! When did I do that…! Don’t talk when you don’t know anything…!”

Miyuki muttered as she started walking faster.

As I watched her quickly walk down the hallway, I smiled and shouted to her.

“Miyuki! Let’s go together!”

Miyuki started walking even faster.

I knew she was going to react like that.

I laughed and quickly chased after her.

***

TL Note: I’m finally done exams haha. Sorry about the updates being absolutely trash. I’ll try to do better now.

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