His Soft Fur

Ty wasn’t out for long. Just as I put my hand on his face, his eyes opened slowly, still glassy as he took a deep breath. He looked confused, and he was still sweating. His skin was burning against my finger tips. I was afraid he hit his head on the way down, too. Maybe I should take him to the hospital, he doesn’t look so good.

“Are you okay?” I asked him.

“I’ll be fine.” he murmured quietly as he tried to get up. I stopped him so he wouldn’t stand. My hands pressed on his shoulders so he would stay sitting.

He shouldn’t be moving, especially when it looks like he might pass out again. He didn’t try to get up when he saw that I wanted him to stay sitting down.

“You shouldn’t be moving.” I said to him quietly, and to make him feel better. I sat down with him.

“If anything were to happen, I would rather be around someone who would be able to handle me.” he said.

Right, if something were to happen, if he were to shift, I wouldn’t know how to calm him down or help him. I mashed my lips together and looked to the side. I couldn’t stop him from getting up this time. He was genuinely concerned that he might shift in the next minute or so. He was sweating, but he was shaking like he was cold.

“Should I call...” I didn’t want to call Cina. I stopped my question as I got up.

“I’ll be fine.”

I had so many questions and I wanted so many answers. If I let him go, he might not be so willing to answer me again. I kept my mouth shut as I watched him walk to the door on his own. I followed behind him to let him out.

“Don’t tell anyone that I told you the truth.” he said, slightly turning to look at me.

“Well, you didn’t exactly tell me much.” I wanted to make that comment since he wasn’t explicitly telling me anything.

And that was fine because it's not my secret, but I still had a lot of questions. I wanted to be nosy and find out what was going on. There’s so much I don’t know that I wanted to find out. And it’s not my secret, but once I saw what I saw, there’s no way that someone can tell me I don’t deserve answers. Ty telling me that I’m not crazy helps, but it’s not enough.

It would be rude of me to demand answers, so I’ll wait.

He stared at me for a second, keeping quiet, which is something I notice he does around people. He won’t say anything, but I guess he wants to show that he’s engaged in the conversation. He used to have this habit of just focusing on something else if it doesn’t interest him.

“My brothers and...I...my family has a history of shape shifting in to animals.” He was slow when he said that, as if he was letting me down gently.

And he had to because I almost didn't believe him, then I had to consider what I saw before.

He kept his eyes down just so he wouldn’t meet my gaze as he told me the truth.

“I couldn’t...control it.” That almost made him feel worse. His expression was more saddened and I saw that he was miserable.

He’s always getting sick, always disappearing. He must physically feel awful. And I can’t imagine the physical toll it takes on his body to keep going through this.

I don't know Ty very well, but in a small town, everyone grows up together, so I know that he doesn't deserve to be this miserable.

“I’m sorry.” I felt so bad for him, and I didn't know how to make him feel better.

"I shouldn't..." he doesn't want to stay, but by the way he was a little shaky again, I knew that wasn't a good idea. I saw the moment that he almost gave out.

“I know you want to leave, and I won’t stop you. But I’d feel better if you sat down for a little bit since you did just pass out.” I said seriously.

He was breathing hard again, like he was exerting himself. “I could...hurt...”

“Okay.” It’s not that I didn’t care, but if something serious did happen, I still have the option to call Cina. It’s not like I’d let Ty suffer.

I wasn’t sure if Ty was conflicted.

But he finally moved slowly to go back in to the living room and sit down on the couch. He closed his eyes slowly and took a breath. He was so sick, I thought all he wanted was a moment of peace and quiet without trying to fight with his own life.

“Please don't tell anyone I told you anything."

"I wouldn't...I'm not going to say anything." I assured him. It's not like I could tell anyone. "So...all those books that everyone read as a kid...are those true?" I asked.

He hesitated to answer my question.

Was it because they're real?

“The stories about this town being protected by animals is true.” he said. “All of this place was just a forest hundreds of years ago, and wolves were the protectors.”

He and his brothers are protecting this place.

“I don’t know what happened, but something made us...something caused us to show our true forms. None of us knew this would happen till two months ago.” he was confused.

Did they really go most their lives without shifting?

“Cina was first to change, and that got Brendan and Channing so mad because they thought they could make it out of here just like our older brothers did.” He looked at me. “This is not a fun curse to have. And because the wolves are protectors, we can’t leave.” he was serious.

They can’t go anywhere.

As I thought about it, I realized why Channing and Brendan would be so upset. They graduate this year, they were planning out their lives this year. Now they can’t leave because of a family gene. I can only imagine how upset they could’ve been. And then think about how they must’ve shifted soon after Cina’s experience.

“I don’t know why I can’t handle it. I don’t know what’s wrong, and I don’t want to do this.” Ty was adamant about that. “It’s not like I can’t remember anything or I act weird, but it’s like...that one half of me is swallowing the other.”

He was tired of it. Not to mention confused and upset.

“Why do I feel like you haven’t told anyone else that you’re struggling?” I asked him, because it did seem to me like this was the first time he was venting. I understand that he has no one else to talk to but family, but he should tell someone.

He sighed, frustrated. He stared down at his hands, thinking to himself.

Could he not tell his brothers? Would they not understand?

I would love to help him, but I don’t exactly know what it’s like.

“I think I’m just weird or something.”

“Obviously.” I scoffed dryly. He looked at me quickly after my comment. “You think changing into a wolf is normal in broad daylight? I literally found you outside in the yard naked a couple days ago, so that’s definitely weird.” I sat back on the couch. “But I think your brothers would know how to handle it.”

“I know but I don’t want to seem like...the weakest link.”

“Well, how are you going to overcome your problems if you don’t try?”

He almost looked stunned that I asked him. Did he think that I would tell him to figure it out himself and that it would be better. He has a huge secret, and that’s not something he can handle on his own.

He’s literally from a family of wolves, it would be smart to talk to his brothers and figure out what’s going on.

“You still look sick.” I said to him as I looked at his face.

He was sweating, and his hair was mashing to his skin.

“Should I call your brother to come get you?”

“I drove here.”

“Right.” I don’t know why I thought he just ran over here in his wolf form. I wasn’t embarrassed. I smiled at him.

I genuinely wanted him to get better. I wanted him to handle his secret. I’m not the person that can help, and even though I know I might try anyway, he should still talk to his brothers to get this sorted out.

I feel like he just wanted someone to vent to, someone that wasn’t like him.

I get that, too.

“So my excuse to talk to you more is asking you a bunch of ignorant wolf questions.” I said as I got up. “You never really hold up a conversation unless you’re interested.” I began walking to the door, and I heard him behind me.

“I don’t know if that’s true...”

I remember plenty of times when Ty would just walk away from people because what they talked about didn’t interest him. And he wouldn’t be mean about it either. He would literally turn away and that was that. If he didn’t have anything to say to the conversation, he would go. Ty’s the type to not suffer in silence, he just doesn’t suffer at all with wanting to talk to anyone.

“Answer my questions tomorrow.” I told him as I opened the door for him. “I won’t let you walk away.” I was straight forward because I wanted to know more, and I thought that Ty wanted someone to talk to about something that interested him for once.

So it works well in our favors.

And for once, I found it easier to sleep. My paranoia was gone. I wasn’t crazy.

I woke up, got dressed, and went downstairs to greet my parents before going to school. The snow was beginning to melt, but there were dark clouds setting in.

It's getting colder. The storms are about to be worse.

As I drove to school, I noticed the bulldozers that were going to be tearing down trees around in the area. There were old men holding guns, ready to hunt the animals that live in the forests. As much as I would’ve liked to, I didn’t get out of my car to yell at them. Mr. Conrod would buy my soul after that. I just couldn’t believe they thought it was okay to just kill the animals to clear the areas. I’m one hundred percent sure there are safer ways to move the animals, but by all means, let old men kill them so they can hang them up in their living rooms.

One day I’ll say something in protest, but today I just wanted to get to school.

However, the second I got out of my car, I knew I was being watched. I could handle Channing and Brendan staring at me and talking about me.

But the twins were watching me, and I don't know how I felt about that. And there were two more that were watching, too. The two youngest. I didn’t know them, and I don’t think I would like to.

I walked quietly to my first period. I didn’t shrug off my jacket though it was warm in the classroom. I sat right behind Ty today.

I tapped his shoulder to get his attention.

“Your brothers are staring at me.” I said when he turned around to look at me.

He didn’t say anything as he stared.

“You’re not going to do anything?” I asked.

“No.” he answered plainly and was about to turn around when I started another question.

“What if they kill me?”

“I probably won’t witness that.” he said and turned around in his seat.

My eyes widened at the comment. Ty would let them kill me, wouldn’t he? Or better yet, he would turn away so he wouldn’t see it happen.

“You know, I won’t tell anyone.” I said, hoping to ease his worry if that was what he was scared about.

He turned in his seat to look at me again. “I wasn’t concerned about you saying something.” he said. I wonder why. “No one would believe you.”

“Right.”

“But who would you tell?” he asked, curious.

“I almost told my dad once, but he told me to keep my secrets to myself so I don’t end up in a mental hospital.” I laughed to myself.

“That’s good advice.”

“I wouldn’t tell anyone.” I said again, this time being more serious. And I smiled so he knew I was genuine about it. I really wouldn’t tell.

He looked at me for a second, not saying anything. He always keeps a plain expression, but the way he looked at me today was different than yesterday. He almost smiled but he didn’t quite get there. I was more focused on his eyes today.

They weren’t as cold or mean as his brothers. In fact, they were kinder. And the way he looked at me made my heart skip a beat for a reason. I almost had to shift in my seat to get comfortable again.

He turned around in his seat to face forward. He didn’t even say a word before he looked away. He just turned around and that was it. I didn’t know how to explain what just happened, but I know something happened.

I wanted to ask him what’s going on, but I feel like that’s the one thing he wouldn’t tell me.

Once the bell rang after class, everyone grabbed their stuff and got up from their seats to leave. I got up with the rest of them and put my hands in my jacket pocket. Ty turned around to leave, but he forgot that I was right behind him. He was going to have to go through me if he wants to leave. He just took a breath and closed his eyes to calm himself down.

“Do I scare you?” I asked him, smiling because he was slightly timid at me being so forward. I think I make him nervous.

“You ask a lot of questions.”

“I like to know things.” I continued to smile at him.

"I figured." he said.

"Is it because I know all about you now?" I asked.

He stared at me, still stunned that I wouldn't get out of his way. I make people like him nervous, and I don't do it on purpose. I've always been incredibly inclusive and overly friendly with people. I like knowing them.

I don't know Ty all that well, but I know his secret, and he confided in me yesterday. I want to be his friend.

If he doesn't feel the same way, then I understand. Sometimes, I can be over bearing.

We didn’t move for a second. The classroom was almost empty before more people began to come in for their second period. There was a change in his glance again. I don't know what it was, but I could tell there was something different in the way that he looked at me.

“Is there something wrong?” I asked.

He tried to say something, he even opened his mouth to speak, but he couldn’t say anything. I didn’t notice it at first, and I didn’t notice it until he walked away in a hurry, but he was flustered.

I might actually make him scared.

When I walked out of class, he was already down the hall, talking to one of his brothers that was at their locker. I turned the other way to go to mine to get a book for my next class.

Before I could even open it, a hand forced it closed, getting my attention. I looked up quickly to find Cina in my way, and he didn’t have a stupid sly smile on his face either. He looked angry.

His eyes were as cold as his older brothers’.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he asked me.

“I’m trying to go to my locker so I can get to class.” I said and moved his hand away so I could unlock my locker again.

“You know what I mean, Gabriel.” he said.

That's the first time he used my first name. I turned to face him and I looked up at him so he knew I was serious.

“You already know I know. What’s the problem?” I asked him.

“Stay away.”

"From who?" I narrowed my eyes at his comment.

Is he mad that I'm getting my answers from Ty instead of chasing after him? He didn't like my question, and I know he was going to fight me on it.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into-"

“So you’re admitting it, too?” I asked, just to be clear with him, and he didn’t like that. “I get that you don’t trust me, but who am I going to tell, Cina?” I asked discreetly. “No one’s going to believe me, and you know that.”

“I’m not going to tell you twice.” he warned me before he walked away.

He’s basically threatening me. What could he possibly do to me? I know I should be scared of him. I should be scared of his entire family, but I wasn’t. I watched Cina walk away, and down the hall, I saw Channing and Brendan together, talking to themselves as they kept their eyes on me.

They’re definitely out to get me, aren’t they?

I wasn’t going to fight them. I wasn’t going to provoke them either. I don’t want to make them my enemy.

I kept silent all day and couldn’t wait to get home. I wasn’t comfortable anymore. I listened to Cina’s warning and I was careful. I barely talked to Ty the rest of the day, and I didn’t bother him with my questions. I just wanted to get home.

When I went home at the end of the day, I stared outside for a while, waiting on my parents to come home so I could be less anxious. And then a white animal made its way out of the trees, walking in the snow and leaving foot prints behind.

Ty had come around again.

I put my boots back on and grabbed my jacket before I went outside in the snow. The sky was still dark and it began to snow again not too long ago. When I walked down the steps of the back porch, Ty came to me and put his head to my stomach pushing me back towards where the windows were to the basement. It was colder where the light didn’t reach. When we were under the porch, he sat down obediently, a small whine coming from his chest.

I sat close to him so I could feel his warmth. It’s freezing out here, and we can’t always do this when he wants to come by.

“I’m going to die if you make me come outside all the time.” I said as I pressed my back against him more. I could feel the warmth on me and I liked it.

Another whine came from him.

“You know, I won’t say anything if you just came over normally, in your human form, and hung out with me like a normal person would.”

He breathed out heavily.

Seems like he didn’t want to do it like that.

“Your brother threatened me today.” I said quietly. I heard another soft whine come from him. “Don’t try and play innocent, I know you saw him come up to me.” I said, but I scratched behind his ear since it seemed like he wanted me to rub him. “I know it’s a big deal, so I’m not mad or anything, but it would be great if you wouldn’t let them come at me or kill me.” I sighed.

He moved from me. He rolled over on his back, exposing his stomach to me. I laughed at him but I knew what he was doing. He wanted to get on my good side.

I’ve always wanted a dog, and now I have one.

“You’re pretty cute for a beast size wolf.” I said as I rubbed his stomach. “Who’s a good boy?” I kept rubbing him and he liked it a lot. He even let his tongue out as I played with his fur.

My dad would never let me keep him inside the house. I think he would have a heart attack if I put a leash on the wolf and told him it’s just a large dog.

It was beginning to get dark outside. I hadn’t realized how long I was out here until I began sniffing because my nose felt numb. I was going to get sick if I don’t go inside. Ty was more relaxed while I talked to him, but after a while, I had just stopped talking and we sat together. The clouds covered the sky, and the air became chilling.

There was a storm predicted for tonight.

“Looks like it’s going to storm tonight.” I looked up at the sky. “You should go home.” I said to Ty, but he didn’t shift from the ground. “I can’t bring you in the house like this.” I would love to but I can’t.

I was inviting him inside, but he can’t be in his wolf form. He might be worried that he can’t force himself to change forms, at least that’s what I thought. When I said I couldn’t bring him inside the way he was, he got up and moved aside and the basement door was in my view.

I guess he thinks he can shift forms then.

“Alright.” I got up. “I’ll get you some clothes.” I said to him.

Let’s see if he actually has control.