Chapter 193
Chapter 193 Another gloomy day
The next morning, William was out of bed and gone before she could check on him. She found him going on as normal as if nothing had happened. He ordered around his guards and continued meetings as if everything was normal. The only way she knew he was still hurting, was because he avoided her. He wouldn't even meet her eye when she approached him. He didn't let her catch him alone for even a moment of comfort. He always made sure he was around someone or a group that he just couldn't be pulled away from. She wondered if everyone else could tell how different he acted. Perhaps they did and they just didn't want to speak of it. It was fine, she knew he only avoided her because he wanted to avoid talking about his feelings. She knew he didn't want to face what was being piled up inside him-deeper and deeper in his chest. She meant what she said, she would be there for him when he was ready to talk about it. Until then, she refused to push at a wound that wasn't ready to close. Doris pushed away the pain that came with his avoidance and sought out Beth. Her friend was never far, but it seemed even she had certain things on her mind that she couldn't shake.
She caught her friend across the camp hesitantly approaching Enzo as if he was a wild animal she wasn't sure about. Her normally confident friend looked as if she wanted to shrink inside herself the closer she got to him. He seemed to sense her instantly and turned the moment she was in sight. “Beth! What a lovely face to see on a gloomy day.” Enzo bowed his head at her. Beth's cheeks flamed instantly at his words. She nervously smiled and curtsied. “What brings you over here to talk to my boring self?” 2
"Good day, Lord Enzo. 1-1 had just wanted to... extend my thanks for helping me back at the palace.” Beth said. Doris had rarely seen her friend trip over her words as if she'd forgotten how to talk. Usually she had the most to say about everything.
“No thanks needed.” Enzo said softly. His looked down at Beth with a gentle smile that made Beth look away quickly.
“Doris always told me you were a good man. I'm sorry I thought bad of you before.” Beth cleared her throat and brushed her hair behind her ear. “I always heard awful stories about the rogues, forgive me for judging without meeting you.”
Enzo raised his brows as if he didn't know that anyone in the world had ever thought bad of him. Let alone a pretty maid like Beth. It made Doris want to laugh, but she held it in. “Doris is in love with me. She constantly says lies about me, I assure you I'm not as great as she claims.” Enzo grinned. Beth's eyes widened for a moment before she thought better of what he said and she laughed. It was a lovely sound. Light and full of nerves as if it was surprised out of her. Enzo smiled for real, Doris wanted to step on his foot for all the times he told people Doris fancied him, but it made her friend laugh and that was what mattered the most. Her friend looked so beautiful when she laughed. Doris watched as Enzo admired her beauty with a softness in his expression that she hadn't s before.
A warmth coated her chest. She hadn't realized how cold she was inside until she felt it warm up again. As she watched her best friend be flirted with by Enzo, she felt nothing but happiness. Beth deserved to be happy and Enzo was worthy enough for her. She knew he would always treat her right, even on his hardest days.
Doris smiled to herself and turned away as she heard her friend laugh at something else he said to her. He knew how to make her nerves disappear one laugh at a time. Soon he would have the real Beth in front of him and Doris could only imagine that he would adore her more.
Doris made her way back to her tent when she felt a wave of exhaustion fall over her. She felt so hungry and tired, she wished she could sleep until all of this was over. Perhaps if there was some sort of potion that would make her sleep until after she had her baby-she would take that in a heartbeat.
When she entered her tent, she almost tripped over herself when she saw William seated at the small table. He stared at the candle in front of him as if he wished he could control it with his mind and burn the tent down around him. Hesitantly, Doris took off her coat and stepped closer to him. "Hey... you.” Instantly, she felt foolish. Doris blushed and tried to stop herself from smacking her forehead from how ridiculous she sounded. “I mean. Do you want anything to eat? Are you hungry?” “No.” He said simply without looking up at her.
Doris swallowed the lump in her throat and sat across from him. “Did you want to lay down and take a nap or something? I can get you some warm tea to help you relax.” . “No. I don't want anything.” He said emotionlessly. Doris bit the inside of her cheek. “I don’t know when we should go back to the palace. Perhaps not for a long while.”
“That's fine, William. We don't have to go back anytime soon.” Doris picked at her nails under the table. “Have you called back your army yet?”
“Not yet. I had done so earlier for the most part but some areas still fight.” William moved his eyes to the tent walls. Anywhere but her. “It has mostly diminished on its own anyway.” He muttered. “I think it would be better if all of it was pulled back officially. It won't take long for news to spread about what happened...” Doris said gently. She didn't want to press too far in case she popped his patience. “l wanted to warn you about what Beth over heard back at that castle.”
When he didn't stop her, she continued. “She heard some of the guards refer to you as a traitor to the king for starting the war. Perhaps if you put an end to it, they might see you for who you are.” “Who am I, Doris? In your eyes, who am I? A traitor? A killer?”
“A leader.” Doris said quickly before he could continue. “You're a prince that was always meant to be king. You're a brave, ambitious man who fights for what he believes in and doesn't stop until he achieves his goals.”
“Look where that got me.” William said bitterly. “A dead family and a kingdom that doesn't trust me." Doris reached across to grip his hand. He didn’t push her away and she didn't know why that made her feel so relieved. “You fought for what you wanted your entire life. The people will see your leadership soon enough. But I don't see need for the war to continue. The king is still alive, you can go to him and show him how worthy you are. You deserve that crown, he will see that too.” “I killed my way to the top, I don't know if I deserve it anymore.” William said as he gazed down at their hands. Doris slowly ran her thumb along his skin. “My father will never forgive me for what I did. I wouldn't blame Daniel if he didn't either.”
"Don’t do that. You know you earned the crown. Even if Martin didn’t do what he did, he knew that it didn't belong with him.” Doris brought his hand to her lips and kissed the back of his hand. “You're a king, William. Only time will grant you the title officially. Don't act like it wasn't always meant to be your crown.”
William finally looked at her. She could see the sadness in his blue eyes. The darkness within. The regret and doubt. It all crowded his mind and made him wish he never went after the crown, but Doris knew that he deserved it. Deep down, he knew that too. He always knew that about himself. “I'll call off the rest of the war.” William said quietly. He pulled his hand away from her and stood. “I'll call it off, but I don't want to return to the palace just yet.” Doris stood as well. She gripped the table when she felt a wave of nausea hit her. “We don’t have to go back to the palace. Everyone here will wait as long as you need us to, William.” William said nothing as he walked out of the tent.