Hell Castle

I felt someone watching me. I didn’t open my eyes, I know I need to. I didn’t hear a car or truck, didn’t hear anyone walk up either. I wonder if they are just going to stand there. The crunching of the snow sounded as the person took steps closer to me.

“If I were to suddenly speak and startle you that might cause you to fall. Would it not?” A voice called. I nodded taking a deep breath. Struggling to keep my irritation to a minimum. “Well, don’t leave me in suspense. Are you going to jump or not?”

This guy was ruining the serenity of the moment. Not to mention really starting to aggravate me. I took another deep breath thinking ‘Must he keep talking, kind of ruining the moment.’ Doing my best to ignore the irritating man I attempted to focus on the calming of the moment. He came close enough he was just a few steps away. I leaned back a bit to compensate for the intensity of the wind. “Do you mind.” I snapped.

Suddenly the wind stopped blowing. I began to fall over the edge of the bridge. My stomach started to drop as gravity pulled me down to the river. I didn’t let out a scream, surprisingly I just went limp as I fell. Thud. The air was whisked out of me; I opened my eyes, Loki looked down at me with a stern look. I didn’t expect to be caught.

“Where have you been?” Loki snapped. He sat me down on the bridge. I wanted to be angry with him, but how could I? He saved me, yet again.

Loki looked over, and past me, he became angry quickly. “Hyland, what are you doing here?” Loki groaned. For the first time I looked at the man; only it was not a man, but a woman. Her flowing red hair fell over her shoulders. Her black uniform with red trim suited her. She smiled at us tucking her hair behind her ear. “Hello to you too, Loki. ‘It’s good to see you too, Hyland. How have you been?’ That would be a reasonable greeting for your sister don’t you think?” Hyland complained.

“What do you want, Hyland?” Loki released me from his grasp stepping in front of me. Positioning himself between me and Hyland.

Hyland started to pout and stomping her foot in frustration. “You are unbelievable Loki, stealing my toy, then insulting me, by not treating me like the family we are! You are such a JERK!”

Wow, and I thought Cathy threw temper-tantrums. Did she just refer to Loki as her brother? Who would claim Loki? Wait, did she just call me her toy?

“Hyland, we have not spoken in twenty years. So what do you expect me to think when you show up unannounced after two decades of silence.” Loki crossed his arms awaiting a response.

Hyland bowed her head. “I came to reconcile with you, Loki.” It seemed that they had a lot to talk about. I should just take my leave now. I slowly stepped back and turned. Walking away softly so I did not disturb their reunion. “Just where do you think you’re going?” Loki gripped my shoulder. “I had to come all the way out here to get you. Only to find you jumping off a bridge. You best have a good explanation, Rori.”

“Shit.” Loki spun me around leaning down to get a good look at my face. Inspecting me to make sure I am in one piece.

Hyland walked over, watching us intently. “You know this human, Loki?”

Loki gazed into my eyes looking for an answer. I could not take his gaze anymore. He is getting way too close. Shoving with all my strength I pushed him away and stormed off down the road. “Ya know Loki, she didn’t jump. The wind blew her over.” Hyland defended me.

“What is with her?” Loki wondered.

I kept walking down the road. It soon became clear that Loki and Hyland were following me. They argued over why Hyland just let me fall instead of trying to talk me out of it. Hyland’s argument was that it was not her place to save me. If I truly wanted to die, I was going to do it one way or another. I reached the gates to the castle at dusk. Carter was pacing around the yard and Eliot stood to man the gate. “RORI,” Eliot yelled when he spotted me.

Carter came running up to me. They both looked me over to make sure that I was in one piece. “Rori you had us worried. You just up and left.” Carter scolded me.

“You have been gone all day. Are you cold” Eliot asked worriedly. At this moment, I felt like someone’s fine china. I can’t stand being treated this way. I’m not some fragile little kid.

“She’s fine,” Hyland called to them.

Eliot froze and whispered to me. “Is that Hyland?” I nodded at him. I had to listen to them argue all the way back here.

“Hi Hyland, what brings you here?” Carter asked beaming as he walks over to greet her. Eliot let go of me, putting on a fake smile as he greeted her, too. I looked at the sky, I had really been gone all day. I was really hungry.

“Rori, come back here, I am not finished talking to you,” Loki ordered. I glanced back at him and then walked inside, closing the door behind me as I took off my coat. I didn’t feel cold, but I was quite hungry.

Owen came running up to me. He looked relieved “Princess, oh thank goodness, you are safe. You must be hungry. I will make a feast at once.”

Owen skidded to a halt; then ran back toward the kitchen. I was walking up the stairs when the front door opened. Eliot held the door open for Hyland and Loki while Carter dodged the door being shut in his face. “How long will you be staying with us, Hyland?” Carter asked as he followed her. Hyland smiled like a flirtatious girl in middle school.

“She’s not staying.” Loki hissed at Carter over his shoulder, then turned back to me. “Rori, stop right there,” he ordered. I stepped up to the landing on the second floor, then glanced back. Loki stood glaring at me. “I think I have tolerated this stunt from you long enough. Now you will start answering me. So get back down here.”

I peered at him, wondering why my Father would entrust me in his care? He couldn’t even protect my mother, what makes him think he could protect me now? Loki motioned with his finger to come to him.

“Loki, the girl can’t even speak. Why are you so hard-pressed to make her talk. It’s clear she does not want to talk to...” Hyland asked and was interrupted by Carter placing his hand over her mouth quieting her.

Loki is clearly furious with me. Somehow, I was not afraid of him, I didn’t care if he is angry or what he would do to me. I turned and walked back to my room. I said “Good night” before walking too far.

“That’s the first thing she’s said all day,” Eliot said amazed.

“Loki, remember you can’t kill her,” Carter yelled.

I could only assume that he was going to come after me. That was his thing, Loki had to be right and always the one to have the last word. Just as he had told me, “you won’t always get what you want.” I have no intention to speak to him or listen to him bitching at me, not today.

Hidi sat in my room waiting for me, holding my evening clothes. “Miss Rori, thank goodness you’re home, safe and sound.” Hidi came over and gave me a hug. I forgot how much Hidi made me feel like a person. “Let’s get you ready for this evening. Your Father sent this dress for you.” Hidi held up a teal country short sundress. It was pretty. it had ribbons integrated around the bustline with some small porcelain field flowers. Hidi helped me get undressed.

Thud! My door suddenly slammed open. I was naked and tried to grab the dress. I looked back there stood Loki. He slammed the door shut as he glared at me. Hidi ran in front of me holding up a cloak to keep him from seeing my naked body. “Master, the Miss is changing,” Hidi said, surprised at his forward actions. I caught hold of the dress, slipping it on in the awkward silence of my room. Hidi took my cloak off the bed and put it up to protect me from being seen.

“Leave now, Hidi,” Loki ordered.

Hidi hesitated as she held the cloak up. “Master” She questioned. Loki opened the door. After I pulled the dress down I took the cloak from Hidi and nodded for her to follow his order. Hidi looked at me torn between her orders and to help me. Ultimately, Hidi left the room reluctantly.

Loki slammed the door behind her. “Ready to talk, now” He demanded.

I took the cloak and sat it on the window seat. “I have nothing to say” I declared. Loki stomped over to me picking me up tossing me onto the bed and standing over me. “This is my castle, my home, my rules. You will do well to remember that, little girl, do I make myself clear?” His wide, gray eyes bore into mine. I nod agreeing with him.

“Now, what were you doing on the bridge ledge? Why did you just sneak out like that much less why did you stay out all day?” Loki stood with his arms crossed glaring at me from above.

I pulled my dress down, I felt a bit exposed with him so close. “I needed to be alone, so I went out for a walk. Lost track of time in the woods.” I felt a bit nostalgic as I thought back to earlier that day and what brought me out into the woods. “I happened upon the bridge and wanted to feel the wind flow, the serenity of the moment.”

Loki groaned at me grabbing my shoulders as he leaned over me. “That river is the same place you nearly drowned. If I had not been there you could have died. Do you understand that?” Loki shook me fiercely. Tears began to flow from my eyes.

“I’m not scared to die. But I was not trying to get myself killed either.” I spoke in a low voice. Loki let go of my shoulders and stepped back.

“From now on, when I address you, you will answer me.” He then walked over to the door opening it and leaving quickly.

I spent the next few hours lying in bed quietly crying. I had just remembered about my mother’s death. I had been threatened by a demon. I had been tracked down like an animal, and to top it all off, Loki had humiliated me. I want off this rollercoaster ride so much. I was surrounded by evil and vindictive men or demons; I am unsure what to call them at this point.

Suddenly, Hyland appeared laying by me. She had a determined look on her face and then pulled me out of bed. “We are going down for dinner. Hidi told me what he did. Loki is deplorable; always has been!.” She said, outraged, as she pulled me out of my room and down the hall “You mustn’t let him get the better of you.”

Hyland led me right into the dining hall. The last thing I want to do is see him. After all that has happened today, laying in bed till the end of time, is sounding quite appealing. Letting go of my hand, Hyland quickened her pace walking around the table assuming her place next to Carter. Avoiding eye contact, I sat down next to Eliot. As usual, the room is quiet and dinner smells wondrous. Forgetting everything, I reached out to take a cornbread muffin. Owen makes the best cornbread muffins I have ever had the pleasure of eating.

Hyland leaned over with a look of regret, “I must apologize for Loki’s behavior earlier.” Loki’s expression did not waver, he continued to read his newspaper and drink his coffee. My stomach dropped out of my body, instantaneously, wishing to pretend like it never happened.

I glanced at Eliot “What for,” trying to play innocent.

“For his actions, while you were indecent, of course,” Hyland declared. “Loki has no morals; so it comes as no surprise that he would walk in on you while you were naked.”

Eliot and Carter froze like statues. Loki calmly continued to read. What do they think happened? What did Hyland tell them? Instantly, I felt all eyes on me in awe. Eliot and Carter looked at me in shock. I could not believe that this horrible embarrassment had to continue like this. I can’t stand this a moment longer. Forcing a painful smile, I got up without a word making my way to the door. My heart racing its way out of my chest. I pushed open the hall door enough to slip out. I ran down the hall then turning, I continued to run out the doors to the garden. I kept running, even after I realized that all I had on is a thin nightdress and some flats.

I ran so hard that my lungs started to feel like ice. I noticed a greenhouse nearby; I had never seen it before. I ran into the greenhouse, locking the door behind myself. Stepping down into the half-underground greenhouse, I became engulfed in an array of plants and flowers. Even though it was cold outside it felt fairly warm inside the greenhouse. I walked in the sand paths around the relatively small greenhouse. No bigger than a two-car garage with solar lights scattered around; enough to see where you were walking. I soon found a spot near what looked to be an elaborate fairy garden to sit. Sitting on a pile of pebble stones for the walkway, in the garden, I sobbed some more.

After a time, I stopped sobbing and just sat there. Looking at the African Violets on the shelf next to me. Eliot and Carter followed Loki walking by the greenhouse talking. “Damn it Loki, what did you think you were doing?” Carter scolded.

“Walking in on her while she was changing like that and then ordering Hidi to leave while she was still indecent? What is wrong with you?” Eliot criticized Loki. I listened as they exchanged words.

“I don’t see it as that big of a deal, not like I saw anything. She had really pissed me off.” Loki defended himself.

“She’s not just the Princess, she’s a young woman. Look, Loki, I think it best if you are not here when we try to bring her back. That’s to say we even find her, and if we can convince her to come back with us.” Carter suggested.

“Loki, you just don’t understand the traumatic event you perpetrated. She has been through enough traumatic experiences as it stood. You just humiliated and embarrassed her with no show of remorse. I agree you need to go back to the castle. Carter and I will find her.” Eliot spoke firmly to Loki.

Hands slammed on the greenhouse right above me. “It has never been nor will it ever be my intention to hurt her in any form. She just riled me up so much, she’s all too good at it. First sneaking out in the cold and staying out all day. Then I find her falling from the bridge. She would not talk to me. She didn’t even seem happy that I saved her. She gazed up at me like I had ruined some special moment or plan that she so diligently worked on. That I had interrupted fate. I could not live with myself if anything happened to her. I promised I would protect her until my last breath. I have watched over her all these years. There is nothing I would not give up for her. But I can’t save her from this pain she’s enduring. She won’t let me or anyone in, to try.” Loki hit the greenhouse wall again. Startling me with his frustration, I quietly jumped.

“We all know that her lack of speech is her way of dealing. But getting all bent out of shape won’t help her, or us to help her” Eliot said consolingly. “She needs us to be understanding and strong, Loki. In time, she will see how much we all care for her safety and let us in. But for now, we have to be patient.”

I’m unsure how to feel. I had never, in my life, felt so much love or compensation for me. They truly care and want to help. It’s just, that I wouldn’t let them? I listened, as Loki walked back, alone mumbling to himself. Carter and Eliot continued to look for me in the garden. After I made sure that I am alone in the area, I stood up and started looking at the flowers around me. I came by a crack in the glass. It reminded me of something my grandmother once told me “Rori, you walk as if you are in a castle made of glass, treading ever so lightly. While you are busy treading lightly, the world around you is passing you by.” I walked out of the greenhouse, looking up at the vibrant sky above. I was hypnotized by the stars twinkling against the black of space. Not paying attention to where I had been walking, I just kept on, all the while, never letting my eyes wander from the night sky. The cool breeze picked up. I can feel the wind dance through my hair, kissing my skin. I close my eyes; I can feel soft fingers wrap me in a hug. A whisper in my ear, made it’s way from the wind “You are as strong as you are brave; you will survive, for you are my daughter, and I love you so. Let the people around you, in, my love. You are not alone” her voice is comforting. “Break down this castle of glass, Rori; build one of stone.”

My mother did love me. I am her daughter; I will not disappoint her. I opened my eyes. I was engulfed in a twister of wind and snow. I can do this, I’m not alone anymore. Seeing the twister that surrounded me I smiled. I now understood where I was going; I understood why she kept showing me her death. The twister dissipated slowly, it again revealed the clear night sky.

“Rori, are you all right?” Carter called from the other side of the garden.

“What was that?” Hyland wondered as she ran outside, with Loki not far behind. The snow from the twister now begins to fall. It looks like the clear night sky is snowing on us. One by one they all approached me. I grabbed a hand full of snow off the bush next to me. Tossing it into the air, I started spinning in circles as it fell. Somehow all the fear, pain and sadness has left me completely. In their place are peace, joy, and love.

“Loki, you broke the Princess, now what do we tell the King” Eliot asked shaking his head staring at me.

In my head, a warming song played over and over. I may be a crack in the castle of glass that I created, but I didn’t have to be alone. Though glass is beautiful, a sturdy castle will last longer. All the people around me, even though some have trouble properly expressing themselves, they are here for me and only want what’s best. I stopped in front of Loki, he looked at me with yearning eyes. I reached up and slapped him. Hyland burst out laughing. “My body is not for anyone’s eyes. Learn to keep your temper in check.” I scolded him. He looked back at me nodding. He had a faint smile like he was glad I disciplined him. “This is my castle of glass.” I whisper as i grabbed Carter’s hand. “Let’s go to bed.” I went back to my room with Carter in tow. He did not resist me and came quietly. I got in bed without changing.

“Rori, you must be cold, you were out there for a few hours, in nothing more than house clothes,” Carter asked concerned. He sat on the side of my bed with his hand hung, limp. “I’m going to be all right Carter. No need to worry about me.” He still looked gloomy. I sat up and leaned over to him. I turned his head to face me. His eyes looked tortured. I could tell that he was feeling some pain from all of this. I leaned in and kissed him. At first, it felt right, it felt like this is where I needed to be. Then the feeling changed it felt uneasy and wrong. I pulled back and hugged him putting my head on his shoulder “She’s pretty, she’s a lucky girl, Carter.” I gave him a tender smile.

Carter rubbed my back. “I wanted it to be you, you must understand. I want it to be you so much, Rori.” I smiled, as I looked at him. I knew I would never like Carter that way. I have known that for years. This new chain of events has not changed that. I shouldn’t have tried to force it “Shush. I’m happy for you. Just as long as you’re still my friend. That won’t ever change.” I wanted him in my life, just not in the way he may have thought. I pointed to the door. “Go woo her Carter. That’s an order.”

Carter looked at me with a knowing smile. “Thank you, Rori.” He kissed my forehead then headed out the door. “Send Owen in please.” I requested as he left. I got up and went to my desk. I took out some paper and a quill.

Dear Father,

We have not had enough time to get to know or understand each other. But in time you will have to trust me. Trust in my decisions. I am kindly rejecting all offers for now. I am capable of handling myself. Please remove Carter from the list for his heart belongs to another and he is a good friend, nothing more. While I will still consider some candidates, in the meantime I will not be taking any proposals serious till I feel different.

I will not let this assassin intimidate me. He may try but I am stronger than he is, I may have built a castle of glass; however, this castle of glass is filled with the love of my parents, family, and friends. Do not worry about your little girl. I am safe just where I am.

Love,

Rori

I folded up the paper and placed it in an envelope. Owen entered as I was sealing the wax with my ring. “You called for me Miss Rori” Owen inquired. I picked up the envelope looking at it, was I ready to be this independent. Once I sent this to him there is no going back. I turned to Owen and handed him the envelope. “Owen, this letter is of grave importance. It is to be delivered to my Father at once. For his eyes only. No delay, once you leave my room you take it straight to him personally. That is an order.”

Owen took the envelope and bowed his head. “Yes Princess, I understand.” He turned and hurried right out the door.

After I changed into a nightgown I walked down the hall barefooted. With each step, I came closer to whispers and quiet conversations. “It’s not like that, Hyland,” Carter whispered frantically.

I heard Hyland giggling in the other room. “So you’re not her lover then?” Carter groaned in defeat. “So if you’re not her lover, then it must be true you did not spend enough time with her before she kicked you out. That must mean Loki or Eliot is her lover then.” Hyland was enjoying herself. Making outrageous accusations like that.

“Hyland” Loki snapped banging his hand on his desk. “None of us are her lovers. Now finish your business and leave.” I could tell Loki was trying to keep calm. His sister clearly gets under his skin easily.

“Oh, you’re no fun Loki.” Hyland pouted. “I told you I was here to fix our relationship. I’m not leaving till I do so. The King even approved it.”

“What” they yell in unison.

“Yes, I went to the King to ask for his blessing. He told me it was high time we buried the hatchet and he granted me permission to impose on you until it is settled. How wondrous Loki, you and me under the same roof, just like when we were little.” I had a feeling that this arrangement was not a wonderful thing. A book flew out of the room.

“Hyland, you can’t just do that! You assuming things and taking extra measures to take the options from others is part of the reason I told you never to come near me again!” Loki snapped.

Hyland started to cry, and was loud. “Loki! You are so mean. I just wanted you to see me like you use to. But you throw books and yell.” Hyland began to sob louder.

“Quiet, Hyland! Or you will wake Rori.” Eliot warned.

I heard Hyland stomp her feet as she sobbed. “I don’t care if I wake that spoiled, little tramp!” She yelled.

I must be hearing things, surely she did not just call me a spoiled little tramp. I heard her wrong. I stepped through the door quietly. Watching her. “She thinks just because she is part demon and part human, she gets special treatment...” Hyland continued. Eliot spotted me, and the sheer look of horror on his face only fueled Hyland’s rant. While Carter put his hands over his face hiding from the drama. Loki sat reading his book, oblivious to my presence.

Hyland ranted on “...Sleeping with whomever she wishes and not have to heed to our moral standards. That’s right Eliot, it’s horrific. She’s nothing but a tramp, a spoiled tramp. So I don’t care if I wake her up. Let her come here. My brother would rather talk to her than me anyway.” Hyland folded her arms pouting. Loki paid her no attention whatsoever, continuing to read his book.

“By all means Hyland, keep going, I’d love to hear more about myself. These things I didn’t even know are fascinating.” I spoke in a normal voice. Eliot looked like he had just seen a ghost as he stared at me.

Carter shot up in a panic. “Rori, um, uh.”

Loki put his book down emotionless per usual. I was right he didn’t notice me. “Good thing I was not asleep just yet; or I would have missed all the fun, and juicy conversation, right, Hyland?” I asked. She slowly turned and looked at me. Her face blank, her body shaking a bit. I smiled at her kindly. “I mean this little-spoiled tramp has nothing better to do than being woken up by the likes of you, right?”

Carter came and stood between us, stuttering he spoke. “Rori, we thought you were asleep. She meant,”

I cut him off, putting my hand up to stop him. “Go sit back down where you have been this whole time. And she meant what she said.” I glared at him for getting in my way. I watched, as he sat back down slowly. Returning my attention to Hyland, I smiled again.

“You don’t know me. Yet, you have the nerve to call me ‘spoiled and a tramp’. Let this little tramp school you. I have worked for everything I ever got. I have only been here a little while, but before that, I lived in more of a prison than a home. I have no siblings and only one parent, whom I didn’t meet until a few weeks ago. I have slept in the same bed as a Carter; yes, but he never been touched in an intimate way, nor did I touch him in that way.” I spoke in a normal tone with conviction. Hyland looked at me in shock. “I treat people I don’t know with more respect and care than you ever will. If you are going to be a bitch and talk about me like you know me; when you are just as ignorant about me, as you are your own brother, then go back to hell where you belong. With a heart like that, no one wants to be near you. If anyone is spoiled here, dear Hyland, it’s you.”

Hyland started shaking then dropped to the floor and bowed. Begging for my forgiveness, and assuring me she meant no harm. She groveled at my feet. I looked at Carter in disgust “This is the woman you love? I just don’t see it.” I scoffed.

Carter looked pained. “She can be childish, but her heart is normally in the right place.” he stared at the floor.

Mother had to be wrong. “You’re all alike” I coldly stated “You people clearly aren’t worth trusting. You, Carter just sat here pretending it was nothing. Waiting for it to end. Loki, you are a shoe-in for asshole of the month. You couldn’t be bothered enough to begin to defend me. Some protector you are. And you! Eliot, you just let this ignorant, childish demon say whatever she liked. You all disgust me.” I backed out of the room, fighting my emotions to keep from crying. I left them there in the library. They just allowed her to bash me. She doesn’t even know me. They are all alike.

I’m done, I’m going back to my aunt and uncle’s house. At least there, I know what to expect. I’m leaving this all behind me. I’m better off alone. I always have been. I opened my bedroom door standing by my bed I see Loki. Now what, the last person I wanted to see was him. I held the door open waiting for him to leave.

“You are angry over what Hyland said. You have every right to be. Whether you forgive her or not, is completely up to you. Do not mistake her words for ours. Hyland is spoiled and always has been. She is not used to being told “no”, much less what to do. She lashed out at you because you were being affectionate to Carter. She cares for him, but refuses to admit it to anyone, even herself.”

He had come to defend her. Funny, never thought he would come personally. “That all?” I asked rudely and pointed to the open door I had been holding.

“I’m not defending her, just explaining her reasoning. I do not in any way, share her opinion; Neither does Eliot or Carter. We all care about you and you’re well-being. You are a kind and fragile person Rori, we know that. We have watched out for you for a long time. You love your family even though they treated you like a prisoner. You gave them more respect than they ever gave you, and I know you have forced yourself to trust us here. That is a lot to ask someone who has always had to trust others without any in return. Everything you have been through, and you are still going through, makes you just as amazing as your mother. You have become an amazing woman, Rori. Don’t let anger and vengeance drag you down.” Loki advised as he walked to the door. Taking it out of my hands and shutting the door behind him.