Heavenly Poison

Damien Gray

I went back to third period, and the rest of the class went by in a blur. Will tried talking to me a few times, but his conversation wasn’t enough to make me snap out of it.

By the time the bell rang, I was feeling pissed off with Emilia and her psychotic ideas.

“Damien!” Emilia called out once she spotted me.

It took her only a few seconds to make her way through the crowd.

“I hadn’t seen you all morning.”

She wrapped her arms around my neck as she said this. Even though I tried to remain standing still, it was a reflex to lower myself so that she’d be able to reach me.

“You weren’t here,” I said.

“I know, I’ve had a busy morning,” she replied.

Instead of interlacing her hand with mine like she usually did, she wrapped her arm around my side.

“Do you think you can come over after school?” Emilia asked on the way.

She was trying to look normal, which was what made me realize that she was nervous about something.

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really,” she replied, shaking her head.

“Come,” I said, pulling away from her and making my way to the library.

She followed along, trying to catch up to me. With the people surrounding us and how much faster I was walking, it seemed like she was struggling to keep up.

“You look mad,” she told me right after we reached the stacks.

I could hear her heart beat pick up. I couldn’t say mine wasn’t also beating erratically, because it was.

“Where were you this morning?”

“I was at home. My dad and I, we were talking,” Emilia told me.

Now that I had her in front of me, I noticed that her face looked smooth and flawless. The bruise from yesterday was gone.

“Talking about what?”

“About us,” she replied, looking at me with a hopeful expression.

Why she looked so happy all of a sudden, I couldn’t really guess. It probably had to do with her wanting to get pregnant for some inexplicable reason.

“Do you realize that we’re not seventeen yet? You and your father have some ideas about our relationship that aren’t right.”

Emilia grimaced at my words, and it was making me feel uncomfortable. I was sure it was the bond between us that was clouding my judgment.

“What do you mean?

“I think you know,” I told her, crossing my arms and raising an eyebrow at her.

I was hoping she wouldn’t pretend she was clueless.

“I don’t, why don’t you tell me,” she said, trying and failing to sound nonchalant.

“Sebastian overheard you and your friend talking this morning,” I said with a steady voice.

I was hoping that Sebastian had been wrong, or that he’d been lying to me. Emilia’s reaction made it so clear that it was all true.

“Where was Sebastian? I was sure there was no one around,” Emilia whispered, taking a step closer to me. When she did, I pulled away.

“How much did Sebastian hear? What did he tell you?”

“I guess now I know why you were always all over me,” I told her.

It was ironic since somehow I felt like the roles were usually reversed.

“It wasn’t just because of that. I want to be with you. I love you Damien,” she told me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

She crashed her lips against mine forcefully. Even when I didn’t respond, she continued to kiss me.

“You don’t know all of it. You have to let me explain.”

I heard the desperation in her voice. Had it been any of the girls I’d been with before, I would’ve ignored them and moved on with my life.

With Emilia, I couldn’t do that. And I hated that I couldn’t walk away from her.

“Explain,” I told her.

“Can we go somewhere to talk? My dad wouldn’t mind if we go back to my house,” Emilia suggested.

I shook my head, and put my hands in her shoulders to push her away from me a step or two.

“I can’t skip anymore.”

When she tried to close the distance between us, I held up my hand. It kept her in place, but the look of hurt on her face was again doing me in.

I looked away from her and focused on the books on either side of us.

“We’ll talk after school then? I have to show you something,” Emilia said.

“Alright, I’m going to eat lunch with Sebastian. I’ll see you later.” I was going to walk away, but she stopped me before I could take a step.

“I’ll go eat with you,” she told me.

I shook my head at her, and continued on my way.

Knowing how she usually was, I expected her to follow. She didn’t, but I heard her whimper, which almost made me go back to her.

“You’re late,” Sebastian frowned at me once I got to the lunch table.

“I was busy,” I shrugged at him.

He was sitting around with his usual groupies, and Tania was next to him.

“You okay?” she asked when I took a seat next to her.

It was the only spot available- only because Tania had made the girl next to her move away.

“I’m fine,” I replied.

She looked at me a few more seconds, before turning back to Sebastian’s conversation.

Right after lunch, Sebastian got rid of the girls, Tania included.

“You talked to her, didn’t you?”

“I’m going to her house after school,” I told him.

I looked around the halls, trying to spot any dogs. It was dangerous to be talking about this in school. Any of the shifters could easily eavesdrop on our conversation.

“You’re not going to her house. I’m not sure if I should be scared of her taking advantage of you,” Sebastian said.

Although it looked like he was trying to joke, he looked worried.

“I’m still going, I have to.”

I didn’t wait for him to say anything else. I walked away to my next class.

History went by faster than I’d been hoping. By the time PE rolled around, I was already in a bad mood once again.

“Hey,” Sebastian caught up with me and started walking by my side.

I nodded, but didn’t bother saying anything else.

“You changing for PE?” Sebastian asked me.

“You trying to make pointless conversation?”

He grinned at my words, and I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

“This is serious though. I’ve been thinking,” he said.

Sebastian’s been thinking. That was the phrase he always used when we were packing for our next move.

“I’m not leaving,” I stated.

“It might be good for us- a change of scene. It doesn’t have to be far. We could go closer to the Reserve, but on the other side,” he told me.

“I’m not going anywhere,” I told him.

Emilia hurried over to us once she entered the gym.

“Hey Sebastian,” she waved at him.

I was surprised when Sebastian nodded at her, got up, and walked down the bleachers.

“He’s mad too?” Emilia asked.

I shrugged. There was no point in lying, but I didn’t want to be the one telling Emilia that Sebastian no longer approved of her.

“How was lunch?”

“Fine,” I replied.

“We only have one period left. Do you think we can leave now?”

Sebastian turned to face me right after Emilia asked that. He shook his head, and then turned back to his conversation with some girl I didn’t recognize. Emilia and I hadn’t been saying anything important he could overhear, but now I knew that Sebastian was listening in.

“We have one period left. I think this talk can wait.”

The rest of the period was quiet. At one point I got tired of the thick silence, and took out my iPod to listen to music. Emilia didn’t say anything, though every few minutes it seemed like she wanted to strike up a conversation.

English, which was our last class, was probably my favorite. The teacher handed us a packet with four stories, and each of them had five questions. Emilia and I didn’t talk during that period. Every so often, her eyes would land on me. I pretended not to notice, but I still did.

I acknowledged everything she did. I noticed when she tucked her hair behind her ear, I noticed her fidgeting around in her chair, and I noticed she was struggling with some of the multiple choice questions.

I didn’t see Sebastian after school until Emilia was pulling out of the parking lot. He gave me a wave, but the worry was still present.

I had to chuckle at that. It wasn’t like Emilia was going to rape me, and the idea in itself was plain crazy. But then again, she did want to get pregnant for some reason.

“So school was quiet,” Emilia said as she drove us to her house.

“Why do you want a kid?” I bluntly asked her.

My question obviously surprised her, because she stomped on the gas pedal. It made the car speed up and threw us both back on the seat.

“I’ll answer that after I explain everything,” Emilia nervously told me when she got control of the car.

“It’s not going to happen. I don’t know what to say about this. Are you doing this because you think I’ll leave you or something?” I asked her.

“What?” she snapped at me.

“It’s what I’m thinking right now, and you can’t tell me it doesn’t look that way because it does.”

“Is that how you think I feel? I’m not scared that you’ll leave me. You won’t,” she told me, threateningly.

I laughed, hard. It took me a few minutes to calm down. I definitely needed that, because after I let it all out, I felt much better.

“I’m with you because I want to. Not because you can force me to be with you,” I told her once I’d settled down.

“Is that why you never asked me to be your girlfriend?”

“I’ve never had a girlfriend before. I don’t know how those things work. It doesn’t matter anyways. If those ideas keep running through your head, you won’t be my girlfriend for long.”

I regretted my words right after I said them. I didn’t understand most of my feelings for Emilia, but I knew I didn’t want us to be separated. I knew it as much as I knew I did not want a kid.

“Is that what you want- for us to not be together anymore?”

We were arriving at her house. There was a black SUV parked right in front, and her father was getting out of it.

“Tell me. If you want us to break up, I’ll take you back to your apartment. But if we break up, it’s over. I can’t be with you anymore,” she told me quietly.

The hurt was clear in her voice, and her blue eyes were clouding to that darker color they usually took.

“I don’t want a kid right now. That isn’t going to change no matter what you do,” I told her honestly.

The thought of us getting separated wasn’t a pleasant one. If it came to that, then I would tell Sebastian it was time to start thinking.

We both got of the car without saying anything. Her father was waiting for us, a smile on his lips. As soon as he took in Emilia’s features, his smile disappeared and a frown replaced it.

“What happened?” he asked, looking between Emilia and me.

Emilia walked towards her father, and wrapped her arms around him.

“Damien?” He said my name in a questioning tone.

“Do you know what she wants?”

Emilia hadn’t brought up the Werewolf thing, but I felt it coming any second now.

Instead of replying, he nodded his head. “What did Emilia tell you?”

“The question is- why are you letting her have these thoughts?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him.

I thought my parents were bad, which they were. Emilia’s dad allowing her to get pregnant wasn’t any better.

Emilia and her father seemed to be mind-linking because they stared at each other, before understanding crossed his face.

I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to be pretending like they weren’t doing anything, but I still stood there waiting for them to finish.

“Go upstairs, I will explain everything to him,” he told Emilia.

She looked reluctant to leave. Somehow though, his words didn’t sound like he was giving her the option. It looked like he was giving her an order.

“Why are you doing this? I don’t understand?” I asked Anthony once Emilia had gone inside.

I had to admit the entire situation was freaking me out. The only reason I had any composure left was because of Emilia.

I wanted her.

I just didn’t want the package that came with her, which included her father and her pack.

“You don’t have to accept this. I want you to give my family an heir, but I’m not going to force you. I am only insisting because my daughter wants you.”

“An heir?” I asked, laughing without humor.

“I’m not saying I don’t ever want kids. I just don’t want them right now,” I told him.

In any case, how did he even know Emilia and I wouldn’t part ways later on? Sure I felt infatuated with her right now, but that didn’t mean it wouldn’t go away. At least that’s what I kept telling myself.

“We don’t have time for later. As it is, we’re pushing it,” he told me.

“So she only wants me for…” I said, letting the sentence hang. I honestly wanted to laugh at how absurd the situation was.

“I want to show you something, but I don’t want to scare you. I’m not going to hurt you,” he told me.

He was staring at me, seeming to be weighing out whether I would get scared or not.

And he did it.

Emilia’s dad shifted into the black Wolf that I had seen the day before in the woods.

He stayed like that for a while, just standing there, keeping his eyes on me.

I just stared at him, and pretended to be shocked. He was the biggest Wolf I had seen up to that moment, so that was shocking.

I swallowed, and tried to think of what to say or how to pretend like I didn’t already know. I figured staying quiet was good. After all, I could’ve been shocked for all they knew.

He shifted back a minute or two later.

“I…” and I didn’t say anything else.

“I was the Wolf you saw at the woods yesterday,” he confirmed what I already knew.

I nodded, and continued to stare at him stupidly. If I wanted to confess I was a supernatural creature too, that I was a Legen- that was the perfect moment to do so.

I didn’t though, mainly because I wasn’t sure if I was staying or leaving.

“You can say anything. I know this must be a lot to take in,” he told me.

While I pretended to be in a daze, Emilia’s dad walked with me into the house. On the way, he began explaining everything. Things even Sebastian and I had no clue about when it came to packs and Werewolves.

“So you’re the leader of your pack… of Werewolves?” I asked.

I sounded unsure, like I didn’t really believe them. It seemed like regular ignorant human behavior.

“I’m the Alpha, and when Emilia turns 18, she will take the title. This is the problem,” he explained.

“How can you become a Werewolf?”

This was a question that had actually puzzled Seb and me for a while. We didn’t know why we came to be. We also didn’t know if there were more Legens. But there were a lot of Wolves. Surely they must know their own history.

“I can’t really answer that. I have documents from our ancestors that date centuries and centuries ago. Nothing explains why we are able to shift,” he shrugged, not looking in the least bit troubled by the lack of knowledge of his species.

“Oh,” I muttered, feeling a frown form on my face.

If they wanted to, the Wolves could find out how and why they shifted. But they didn’t care. If I had the opportunity to know why I had turned into a freak, I’d definitely want to know.

“You are taking it a lot better than I thought you would,” Emilia’s dad told me, with a smile.

When he first started telling me, he looked hesitant. Now, he was explaining everything with so much devotion. He looked really devoted to his pack, which he considered his family.

Why? I didn’t really know. I didn’t understand the appeal in leading a group of shifters.

I shrugged, and took a seat on the couch across from him. We were in his living room. Emilia hadn’t returned, but I heard her moving things around upstairs.

“Why is Emilia becoming Alpha a problem? You said that the people you lead respect you.”

My question was asked with more curiosity than I’d like.

“She’s a female.”

“So?” I asked, not liking the tone he’d used when saying that.

“Most Alphas have a male pup. I had a daughter and my wife passed away before we could have more pups.”

His expression grew dark and solemn after saying that.

“I still don’t understand.”

“Emilia is stronger than most males. She has my Alpha blood. But there will be males stronger than her. You aren’t a Wolf Damien. Once you and Emilia mate, you will become the Alpha of the pack. It means any Wolf can challenge you. It’s a sure win for whoever challenges you because you’re human,” he explained.

“They can challenge me?” I asked, surprised by that bit of information.

“They can and they will. Do you know Luke?” He asked me.

“I know Luke.”

I knew him and I disliked the guy.

“Luke’s father is my third in command.”

“Okay?”

“No, it’s not. His father has a title, which Luke will inherit. He has made a request to me that I will accept if you turn down Emilia’s offer,” the Alpha said.

“What request?” I asked with a sigh.

“Luke will mate with Emilia and give me an heir.”

So now they were threatening me with Luke of all people.

“If you say they are your family, why would anyone challenge Emilia or me?”

Saying those words made me feel stupid. If someone had told me two months ago that I’d be in this situation, I’d probably laugh in their face before punching them.

“Rogues, the Wolves I mentioned that aren’t in packs, are trespassing my territory more than they used to. They know Emilia is taking the Alpha position soon. They think a female can’t lead, especially with a human mate. My pack could fall,” he told me.

It sounded like it pained him to say those words. But I had to remember that in a desperate attempt to save his pack, he was making his sixteen year old daughter get pregnant.

“Why don’t you just lead them instead of handing the position to a girl, since it’s so bad?”

“I have to retire at some point,” he told me.

“I’m going home,” I said, shaking my head at him.

“You’ll think about it?”

“I will think about it more than I’d like, trust me. But I won’t agree to it. This- this is just crazy. You are crazy and if Emilia agrees with you, then I guess she’s crazy to.”

I had only taken a few steps away from him, before the Alpha blocked my path with inhuman speed.

“If you walk away from her now, then this is where it ends. Luke didn’t just make an offer to give me a grandchild. His father wants Luke to challenge you for the position once Emilia takes over. He can and will kill you if it comes to a challenge,” he told me.

The composure didn’t leave his voice or his expression, and I had to give him props for that. He was able to keep in control, and that made me respect him more.

I could see now where he was coming from, but it didn’t mean I agreed.

“I’m stronger than Luke,” I told him.

“You’re not. I’m not trying to hit your ego by saying this, but Luke is stronger than you. A human’s strength will never compare to even the weakest Wolf.”

I looked at him for a few moments. If only he knew what I was, and just how much damage I could do. If he knew how many of his kind I had already killed without any effort- then he wouldn’t be telling me that.

“Goodbye,” I said, sidestepping him.

He let me go this time.

I was walking on the dirt road that led to Emilia’s house when she caught up to me.

I had planned to walk until I reached the main road. Then I would simply fly the rest of the way home.

“Are you walking away because you’re scared of us- of what we are?” she asked.

The way she asked that question and how her eyes looked- it made me feel like she wanted me to say yes to that.

“I already knew what you were,” I told her flatly.

Only after those words left my mouth did I realized what I had just said.

“You knew I was a Wolf?” she asked, reaching out for my arm to stop me.

Her eyes were slowly darkening, while a frown took over her face.

“Well, I knew Luke was a dog all along,” I tried to joke to divert from my slip up.

She smiled at my words, her face quickly lighting up.

“I don’t want you to leave. You’re my mate. Even if you are a human, you were made for me and I was made for you. If not, we wouldn’t have been paired up. The spirits don’t give us more than we can handle,” she told me, making it all sound like a fairytale, when the truth was far from that.

I was messed up. A kid from a freak and a dog was prone to be a screw-up- that was just a fact.

I didn’t need a repeat of my life to follow a hypothetical kid as well.

“Yeah well, I didn’t know anything about these spirits until today.” I shrugged.

“I love you,” she told me, whimpering as she spoke.

There it was again. That painful ache took over my chest. Every time I saw her look at me that way- something in me felt strange.

A silence settled between us. Tears had formed in her eyes, but they weren’t spilling. It almost seemed like they were waiting for me to make a decision.

“I…” I stared at her, wishing all of this could be as easy for me as it was for her.

A few weeks with her and she had brought down walls that I’d created around myself. Emilia had ruined me.

“I’m leaving,” I stated, and turned away from her before I could see the look on her face over my decision.