Hatred With Benefits

EVA.

My eyelids flutter, and my chest rises and falls steadily. Warmness surrounds me and I know there's another presence in the room by the feel of something heavy on my tummy.

Twisting my head to the side, I'm met with the sight of Emerson Ford's sleeping face with some of his fallen curls covering one side of his face.

Staring down, our legs are tangled in each other and I sigh as I dart my eyes back to Emerson's face. He slept here with me- he stayed. He came here to give me comfort-when he didn't need to—and he didn't leave.

I press my lips into a thin line as I slowly lift my hand to his face. I barely place a touch against his skin as I push the curls from his face and let my eyes roam across it. Unlike that other time, there's no crease over his forehead and there's no frown on his lips as he gives soft snores.

The urge to press my hand against him suddenly burns through me and I give into it without much thought, but I'm quick to catch myself when my fingertips graze his face and I pull away.

I'm caught off guard when Emerson's eyelids flutter and he opens his brown eyes to meet mine. I flinch a bit in surprise and my heart thumps at staring into his eyes up this close, right from sleep with bodies pressed and legs tangled.

Emerson doesn't move. He doesn't speak. He just lies there and stares at me with a blank face, and I start to sit up when I feel my cheeks heat up from his gaze.

I clear my throat. "Are you trying to pass some of your ugliness to me, Ford?"

Emerson chuckles and stands after me, his body incredibly close to mine for my liking. "You mean to ask if I'm trying to bless you with some of my hotness?"

"Don't get over your head, Ford. You don't have enough to spare. "I throw back and he murmurs. "Must be hard living your life, Carson. You've got to have none if I don't have enough."

I glare at him. "Fuck you.

"1

"I know. You're addicted to my cock. " He winks and I scoff before letting my gaze fall to his body to note the fact that he's only in his boxers.

"I don't sleep comfortably with pants on. "Emerson answers my unasked question and I lift my eyes to him to say, "Or you did something while I was sleeping?"

Emerson lets out a low laugh. "If I fuck you while you're asleep, you'll scream your way to the moment, Carson. Not sleep peacefully. Plus, that isn't my thing; no matter how tempted I was. " His eyes fall to my chest at the last words and I stare down at my naked chest-only clad in a bra that reveals a lot more than appropriate.

"You should leave." I tell him as I climb off the bed and grab his pants from the floor.

"Are you chasing me out after using me for my body, Carson?" Emerson fakes a hurtful expression as I throw him his pants and I snort in response. "That'd be low of me, don't you think?"

Emerson bobs his head as he rises from the bed, his annoying expression replaced with a serious one and I know the words that'll leave his mouth even before he says, "Is everything okay now?"

I swallow before I nod. "Yeah. "A lie. You can only escape your troubles when you shut your eyes; as soon as you open them, they're back and you're forced to face them.

Emerson hums and stands still. I expect his taunt to come after, but it doesn't and after a few seconds, he heads to the door.

"Emerson. "I call just before he makes it through the door and he turns back to me. "Thank you, Ford. "A tiny smile presses to the corner of his lips before he nods and disappears out of sight. I let out a weak sigh as he shuts the door before I fall on my bed and grab my phone.

There are new text notifications- both from Aliya and Dan.

I open Aliya's first.

ALIYA: I need to change my wardrobe. I'm getting annoyed with my clothes, Evie.

ME: Didn't you change it before we came down to college?

I hit the send button before opening Dan's last messages from last night.

DAN: I'm happy to hear that, sweetheart.

DAN: What are you doing?

DAN: You slept on me, Eva?

I chortle at the last message and type out a reply.

ME: I did. Sorry.

ME: Morning Dan.

My eyes catch sight of the previous night's message as I send the text, and I shake my head before the thoughts can make their way through. No. Not this time.

I toss my phone to the side, and pull my hair into a tight bun before climbing off the bed to walk to my closet.

I bring out my sports bra and yoga pants, and clad my body in the attire before making my way out of the room.

When I walk into the living room, Emerson is in Nike sweatpants and a black V-Neck.

"Going out?" I ask the obvious and he turns his eyes to me, a smile on his face as he gives a nod and says, "Work out. You look like that's where you're headed too. " His eyes roam across my body, and I bob my head.

"You don't look too good, Carson." Emerson says as he grabs his headphones from the couch and walks towards me.

"That's pretty noticeable. "I gulp down my throat as Emerson stands in front of me with weary eyes. I feel his gaze on every inch of my face and I raise my eyes to meet his.

"What?" I ask with a frown and he shakes his head. "You kind of look ugly right now."

"Fuck off. "I scowl at him and Emerson chuckles before taking a step back. "I'll see you later, Carson."

He twists his body in the other direction and walks towards the exit; with each step that brings him close to the door, my heart thumps in my chest and I gnaw at my lips as I struggle to get the words out. As Emerson wraps his hand around the doorknob, I let out a call of his name and he turns back to meet my gaze.

"Um-" I start, and clear my throat. "Do you think you could do it here? With me?" As the words leave my mouth, heat rises to my cheeks and I bite on the insides as Emerson turns his path back in my direction.

"What do you mean?" He takes a step forward and I clear my throat again, straightening my shoulders to show the confidence I'm not exactly feeling at the moment as I speak. "Help me with my workout. Right here. "I angle my head to the middle of the room and when I look back at Emerson- he looks amazed.

"Let me get this right-" he pauses and takes another step forward till what's left between our bodies is nothing but a small space that can be closed with the last step. "You, Eva Carson, are asking for my help?"

As weird as it sounds. I've known it for a long time- with Emerson Ford, it's easy to pretend and not think about the things that are threatening to drag me down that unfortunate hole. But recently, it's more than that. I don't understand how it's so easy with him, neither am I sure of how he's able to do that without attempting to, but it's so easy to lose myself in the moment with Emerson Ford. With him, there's nothing but our snarky remarks and gazes filled with emotions we're used to between the two of us. With him, there are no dark thoughts and bad memories. Emerson Ford takes away my troubles without even trying. "I am, "I confirm my earlier request and Emerson looks shocked by my response for a millisecond, but he's quick to mask it with that upsetting look- one where his infamous smirk is pulled to his face. "What?" I snap angrily when he doesn't speak, but just stares at me and Emerson chuckles. "What makes you think I'll offer my help willingly to you, Carson?"

I don't think before I respond to his question. The words just fall to the tip of my tongue and I let them out. "Because you've been doing so."

"In unpleasant situations," he corrects irritably. "Why will I want to help you when I hate you?"

"You don't seem like you do when you fuck me. "I throw back at him with a grin on my face, folding my arms against my chest and Emerson shakes his head. "That's not a correct answer, Carson. You hate me too and you let me fuck you. Hate and desire can coexist without one hindering the other."

"You sound so confident of yourself. "I tell him and he raises a shoulder in a shrug before he says, "I am."

I take a breath before I speak. "Because you love it when I owe you, Ford."

That must be the answer he wants because Emerson's lips curve into a grin and he nods. "I sure as hell do."

I roll my eyes. "Unfortunately."

Emerson cracks up before he takes the final step that closes the gap between us. He ducks his face from mine to bring his to the side and his hot breath fans my neck as he speaks near my ear, his lips brushing barely against my ear with each word. "Let's get started, Carson."

He pulls back and that smile remains on his face as he tosses his headphones to the couch and motions for me to come with him.

I pull my lower lip between my teeth as I follow Emerson to the middle of the living room and stand before him.

"Do you do sit-ups?" He asks as he gets on his knees and I nod. "Most of the time. "

As I go down with him, Emerson's gaze falls on my body and I don't need to take a look to know he's staring at my chest.

"Sit-ups don't help with breasts. "I tell him and he raises his head to me.

"Says who?" He laughs as I move to a crouched stance and I stare at him dumbly as I say, "Everyone."

"Explain why you've got those then? I don't see it on your mom. "

"You were checking out my mom?" I throw him a disgusted look and Emerson says, "I'm sure that feature is pretty apparent when a woman stands in front of you, Carson. I don't need to check her out to know you've got bigger tits than her. "

"You do," I argue as Emerson wraps his hands around my ankles and pulls me towards him. "When a person stands in front of you; you stare at their face, not their chest. "

"Not if you see them from a distance," He explains. "I don't do older women, Carson. I have no reason to check out your daddy's wife. "

"I'm sure you don't. Other than being an asshole. "I scowl at him as he bends my knees to his sides and I place my palms against the carpet.

"If it makes you feel wrong about your opinion, yours is the only one I stare at for too long. "I'm grateful when Emerson snaps his head to the side and fails to witness the embarrassing blush that reddens my cheeks at the somewhat praise from him.

"Start," he says when he looks back at me and I move my entwined hands to support the back of my head, plopping my upper body flat enough before pushing to meet Emerson's face.

"Why do you work out though?" Emerson asks as I repeat the action, my face coming close to his with each sit up I take.

"Why do people work out?" I ask him flatly and he meets my eyes. "Different reasons. My reasons might not apply to yours, Carson. I bet yours is to keep in shape.

My lips turn in a frown. "I'm already in shape. "

When Emerson stares down at me with his brows raised, I stop in the middle of the sit up and glare at him. "You think I'm fucking fat?"

"I didn't say that, Carson. That's your self-consciousness speaking to you." He teases.

"Fuck you." I tell him and he nods before dragging me close to him by my knees. My eyes widen as he throws his hand to the side of my legs. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Giving you what you want." He responds and my hands hang in the air as I watch Emerson spread my legs with his eyes not leaving mine.

He smirks as he slips his hand up my thighs and I gulp down my throat as my body remains in the air before Emerson breaks the tensed silence with a laugh and pulls me back to the initial position. "You truly do want me to fuck you, uh?" He wiggles his brows as he leans in and I shake my head. "I was waiting to throw my feet in your face. "

"It's hard to believe your words when your body gives a different reaction, Carson." He taps my inner thighs, close to the centre where I'm throbbing painfully, before he holds my knees and gestures for me to continue.

With a discreet bite of my lips, I fall back into position with the atmosphere around us changed once again; a sniff of the air and one can tell how badly we want to jump each other.

"You were pretty good at that. "I tell Emerson as we move to our feet and he hums in response. I furrow my brows at his somewhat lack of comeback before my gaze falls to his sweatpants where his cock strains painfully against the material- begging to be let out.

My mouth waters at the sight before I force my gaze away and instinctively take a step back.

"I need to get to my room. "I say in a low voice as I gesture in the direction and Emerson bobs his head in a second silent response.

Without another word, I take quick steps in the direction with Emerson's steps echoing after me.

I shut the door as I walk inside my room and stride toward my bed to grab my phone.

When I see no notification across the screen, I drop the phone back on the bed and strip out of my workout attire. I loosen and retighten my bun before I walk to the bathroom with a towel wrapped around my body.

Emerson emerges from the other door at the same time I shut my door and his eyes meet mine; a smile slowly spreading to his face as he closes the door from his side and steps fully inside.

He's still in his Nike sweatpants with his chest now bare to my eyes and I shamelessly let my gaze fall to the skin, tracing each contour and muscle with my gaze, down to the belly button and to his hips where a Calvin Klein label slips out of the sweatpants.

"What are you doing?" I mumble when my eyes settle on his again and Emerson takes a step from his spot. "Sometimes you ask questions you already have answers to, Carson and I often wonder why you do. "

"I'm taking a bath first. "I tell him, ignoring his words and Emerson protests, "No, you're not. "

"Yes, I am. "I persist, pinning him with a glare and he shakes his head, standing his ground. "You're not, Carson. We came in together.

"1

"Isn't it courtesy for men to let the women have the spot first?" I raise my brows and Emerson smiles. A wide smile that tells me he finds my words amusing. "I never go with the world's rules, Carson. You know that. But I'll do one thing: I know you won't step back for me, and you know I won't do that either; let's have the spot together."

I grimace at him. "Are you fucking with me?"

"Do I sound like I am?" He retorts.

"I'm not taking a fucking bath with you, Ford. "My words come out harsh and firm, but Emerson Ford being himself, throws other words at me. "And why's that? I've seen everything, Carson. More than once, so what are you hiding?"

"Just because I've slept with you doesn't mean I'll take a shower with you. "I tell him and Emerson arches his brows, "Why? Right now, you're standing naked in front of me, Carson and you aren't feeling self- conscious. " He takes a step forward and my gaze falls to the movement before I meet his eyes again.

"You aren't covering for me, Carson, " something about his look and the way he lowers his voice as he speaks those words give a change to the air and I can feel it- I know Emerson can feel it.

He closes the space left between our bodies entirely till there's nothing but the brush of my bare chest against his. The feel of skin against skin with our harsh breaths loud in the air and the echoes of my heart pumping in my chest thundering in my ears. Emerson holds my gaze so fiercely, and I feel it in every part of my body when he whispers, "Take the spot with me, Carson."