Happily Never After

“WHAT’D HE SAY?”

I set the phone on the coffee table, in shock as I said to Larry, “He thinks we should pass. And he yelled at me.”

“For real?” Larry’s eyes narrowed and he said, “Fucking Julian. I already said yes, goddamn it. What the hell are we supposed to do now?”

I didn’t care about the wedding. I just wondered what was going on with Max to make him snap at me like that. Asshole. I stared into space, petting the girls, and murmured, “I have no idea.”

“Did he say why, that piece of shit?”

I told Larry what Max said, and he surprised me by sort of agreeing with Max. “That makes a little sense because of the double standard about women cheating, but then why the fuck did you do the redneck wedding?”

“I think because he knew TJ,” I said, pissed at Max regardless of the fact that he might be sort of right about part of it. “Either way, I guess we’re passing on this wedding.”

“The hell we are,” he said, grabbing my phone. Side note: Larry treated my phone like it was the landline, and it cracked me up. If I left it sitting anywhere, he would just pick it up and use it. I didn’t even use a passcode anymore because I got sick of him accidentally locking my phone all the time by trying to guess the code. “Let me make a call—I have an idea.”

He took the phone into the other room while I sat on the couch, fuming. Max hadn’t actually yelled at me—that had been an exaggeration—but he had snapped.

And we never talked to each other like that.

It was a trivial thing, but my feelings were hurt.

Why in God’s name would he be so short with me? Twenty-four hours ago, we were texting each other about sex, and now he was treating me like I was his annoying little sister.

I couldn’t shake the feeling that there was more to this, that there was something with us or the fact that I’d brought this wedding to the table that upset him. I didn’t know why, but I just knew it wasn’t simply about protecting some random stranger from being slut-shamed.

Of course, it also irked me that I was glad for his insight, because I totally agreed that we didn’t want to ruin some woman’s life. He was right that we shouldn’t air her dirty laundry to the world.

But why had it been okay with him for Callie’s wedding? What was the difference?

And we could still lead the groom to the evidence, like we had with the other couple, couldn’t we?

“Who is Larry talking to?” Rose asked, sitting down on the couch beside me. “Are we getting takeout?”

“I’ve got a frozen pizza in the oven and he’s talking to his sister,” I said.

“About the wedding?”

I glanced over at her. “What do you know?”

“I know all about you and Julian’s little side hustle, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“He told you?” I’d specifically told Larry not to tell Rose because it seemed like something she wouldn’t approve of.

“He did. He’s not a coward like some pussies I know.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,” I started, but she cut me off with a hand raise.

“I don’t care,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I’m not some silly-hearted romantic who swoons over weddings, for God’s sake. But you should consider adding a third.”

“A third?”

“Think about how helpful it’d be to have an old lady objecting; no one would punch me or anything like that.”

In spite of everything, I smiled. “Y’know, you’re not wrong.”

“No shit.”

“I got it!” Larry came sliding into the living room—literally in his stocking feet—and said around a grin, “We figured it out!”

“That you and I should just do it?” Rose asked, judgment in her tone as if she and Larry had discussed this.

He ignored her and said to me, “She says it would work even better for you and Max to object with a cryptic we-know-reasons statement and ask to see the bride and groom in private for a moment.”

“I knew that could work!” I said, but my excitement immediately died because I didn’t want to call Max or discuss it with him. He’d acted like a bossy dickhead, and there was no way I was going to let him decide if we were going to do it or not, like he was the damn parent in this scenario.

“Tell her that I’ll do it,” I said without another thought. “Alone.”