Grim and Bear It

Jake

I stared at my laptop, the slideshow of pictures I'd digitized from childhood playing across the screen. Every single photo of Poppy was another cut, but I couldn't look away. My need to see her again overrode whatever self-preservation I had left.

I adjusted the ice pack on my knee, turned up the heating pad on my hip, then took a massive gulp of my iced tea, hoping it would wash away the bad taste in my mouth. Poppy. A reaper.

Poppy, who was pure sunshine and smiles. She'd laughed with her whole body, sang in my car at the top of her lungs, and rescued all the spiders and set them outside. She'd been vegetarian since she was ten.

How was she a reaper? Life, and apparently death, weren't fair.

Sebastian appeared next to me on my recliner sofa. "Are you ready to talk about it?"

"I'm fine."

He glanced down at my hands. I looked at my crochet project an easy scarf that Amber said was both good practice and stress relief-and grimaced. It was becoming a triangle. "Dammit." I set down my hook and yarn and stretched my fingers. "I don't even know how to begin."

"Maybe begin with why you were conversing with a reaper."

"Poppy." I studied him. "How do you know Poppy?"

His gaze snapped to mine and held it. "We have mutual friends, you could say."

Did he mean me? Had Poppy been here before? "She used to live next door when we were kids. She was...mine. And she was Eliza's best friend."

"And you both observed her this evening?"

I tapped my finger on the keyboard. "No. No, I don't think so. No one seemed to notice her but me."

He stared at me for a long moment, not blinking as if he were seeing something I couldn't. "I see."

I narrowed my eyes at him. "What do you see?"

"I do not believe that seeing Poppy is a positive sign. In fact, she herself would say the same thing."

"It's so weird to me that you two know each other. How'd you meet?"

He lifted a shoulder. "Mutual hobbies. You're changing the subject."

"Seeing dead people isn't an unusual habit for me."

He leaned back on the couch, crossing his arms. "Hmm. Yes. But seeing reapers is."

"How do you know?"

He turned to look at the wall, then tilted his head to the side as if studying something. I followed his gaze but saw nothing. "Reapers aren't for the living, Jacob. They're for the dead. I am dead, ergo it is not unusual for me to see a reaper. You are living, and therefore I am extremely concerned at the new company you're keeping."

"I'll be fine."

"Forgive me for doubting you, Jacob." He tapped his finger against his lip. "I believe you should make a formal report."

I stopped the slideshow, pausing on a picture I had taken of the two of us on a walk. I smiled up at the camera, while Poppy's head was thrown back in laughter, the summer sun glowing between us. I slammed the laptop shut and swallowed. "If I report it, I'll be investigated. Reapers are considered a breech to security because they have access without restriction. I'd be removed from consideration as Daisy's mentor."

"Ah, I see." He stared past me. "I believe this may be a warning for you, Jacob. Please heed."

I dropped the laptop on the table. "We don't know that it is a warning."

"I've never known you to be this careless," he admitted, his voice cold.

My grief and anxiety turned into a ball of rage. "I used to think Mina was being dramatic when she threatened you with an exorcism, but you're so goddamn self-righteous all the time!" "They really should pay me for being an off-hours therapist."

"You could just mind your own damn business."

He crossed his hands over his stomach. "I've been dead for well over a century. I've learned that if I don't bestow my wisdom, the people I care about will likely do something regrettable." "Oh, I've done plenty of regrettable things. Like make a bet that I'd host a ghost agent."

Sebastian smiled. "I will admit, the new living arrangements took some adjusting." We sat in silence for a long moment, Sebastian watching me. "Are you having a staring competition?" I moved the laptop to the coffee table. "Poppy was special to me."

"You were courting her?"

"Yes. No. Not officially. There was an eighteen-month age difference and our families forbade it." I finished the iced tea and set the glass on a coaster on my side table.

"How long has it been since you've seen her?"

"Twelve years." Why hadn't she told me?

Sebastian whistled. "That's a long time. And you've never had closure?"

"Closure isn't going to make this better."

Sebastian was quiet for a long moment, staring up at the ceiling. "After I died, when I was floating aimlessly around London wondering why I was inhabiting Earth, I went to visit my grave. I knew exactly when and how I died. I knew where I was buried. Somehow seeing it literally carved in stone helped me come to terms."

"I appreciate you sharing with me. But Poppy doesn't have a grave. At least not one that I've ever found."

"What happened when she disappeared?"

I made a fist, the knuckles on my right hand stinging. "She was like a ghost. She and her family left Dad and Magnolia's vow renewal, and then we went straight to the airport hotel since we were leaving on a red-eye for our family celebration trip to Disney World. I tried to call her twice from the room, but there was no answer."

I ran a hand over my face. "I called her every chance I got, from every phone I came across. Right before we got on the plane, I tried again. The number had been disconnected and I knew in my gut she wouldn't be waiting for me." Sebastian had straightened and turned fully toward me. "She was already gone." It wasn't a question.

I nodded. "By the time we got home, they had already had an estate sale and the house was completely empty. Everything had been painted white, and any memory of Poppy was gone." I laughed without humor. "We used to have a treehouse where we spent a lot of time together and I tore it out of the tree with my bare hands. I couldn't stand the sight of it."

"I can imagine."

My chest tightened, heat swelling and closing my throat. I swallowed hard. "We weren't allowed to talk about her," I whispered. "Dad and Magnolia said that if they wanted to move away without leaving a forwarding address, then we needed to respect their wishes. But Poppy would never do that. I've never found a single clue as to what happened to her until tonight."

Sebastian moved across the couch and sat next to me, his cold shoulder leaning through mine. "It pains me to hear how your grief was so easily dismissed. I am sorry."

"Thanks." I adjusted the ice on my knee. "What a day."

Sebastian reached for the remote and after two tries managed to put on highlights from a baseball game. "Mina preferred murder documentaries, but I suspect this is a better choice for tonight."

I nodded and stared at the screen, although I couldn't even remember who the teams were the moment I blinked.

"Are we going to disregard the fact that humans see reapers because they are about to perish?" he asked.

Yes. Because it couldn't be true. I had too much to do to keep my family safe. "You saw her, and she wasn't there to collect your soul." "I'm not human."

I lifted one shoulder. "Maybe I'm not either. You've seen Daisy's powers. Supernatural blood runs strong in my family."

He was quiet for a moment. "I think it's safe to assume that if you were to be in mortal peril, it would be because of the investigation."

"It could also be a car accident, a fire, a heart attack. I can't give up my assignment because of speculation. Too much is at risk."

"Neither of us lack intelligence, Jacob. We both know that it's likely this investigation is ruffling more feathers than we're aware."

I stayed silent because he wasn't wrong. The closer we got to the top of the venom chain, the more dangerous things became.

"You could walk away," he continued. "Mina did. She's happier than I've ever seen her. Leave the investigation for someone else." I didn't need to answer this time, either.

"But you won't," he said on a sigh.

"I made an oath."

"I wonder what Mina would say about this all."

I looked over at him. "I'm not sure why you're speculating as we're not going to tell her."

"Aren't we?" He smiled.

With a sigh, I turned on his favorite movie, Titanic. "You have problems."

He smiled at the bribe. "And your secret is safe with me. For now."

With a sigh, I turned off the heating pad and grabbed the ice pack, then pushed myself off the couch and out of earshot of Sebastian reciting the lines of the nineties movie. He and Reggie liked to reenact parts of the movie while using my furniture as props, but thankfully they typically waited until I wasn't home. After tossing the ice pack in the freezer, I shuffled down the short hall to my bedroom, where I hung up my tie and belt, put my shoes back in their storage box, placed my shirt in the hamper, and set my pants and suit coat in the dry-clean-only basket. Thankfully, SHAP had a cleaner who was great with bloodstains and wouldn't ask questions.

I limped into the bathroom and turned the shower on hot, then sat in my shower chair, letting the water rain down on me. I closed my eyes and tilted my head up. I'd miss showers when I died.

I wasn't an idiot. I knew that seeing Poppy meant I could be in mortal danger, but it didn't change anything. Poppy. At least I'd have a friend waiting for me on the other side.

After my shower, I did my stretching routine with my eyes closed, dropping the foam roller twice from sheer exhaustion. When I climbed into bed, I knew I'd be gone as soon as I hit the pillow. As I clicked off my bedside lamp, an email pinged on my phone.

Just leave it until morning, my brain pleaded, just a few hours. I could close my eyes and pretend I didn't hear the ding. A reminder ding sounded and I shouted an expletive. It was my work email tone, which meant it was something related to a case and not just a we've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty ad.

I swiped my phone off my nightstand, praying it was just a rescheduled meeting. Four pictures of me appeared on the screen, two from the wedding, one from the gym, and one of me through my kitchen window.

Jacob Robinson, Congratulations on your successful capture today. Unfortunately, you have caused me major inconvenience. Stop the crusade against my business, and I'll stop my crusade against tearing your life apart. Continue and I'll make you wish you were dead.

Sincerely, Yours I ran my hand down my face and laid back on my pillow. I could ignore it. Could go right back to sleep and deal with it in the morning. My throat tightened with the thought of me climbing out of bed right now because some asshole couldn't wait a few hours to send me a death threat.

"Fuck me,” I grumbled as I forwarded the email to the SHAP technology team and flipped on the light. So much for sleeping tonight. I could sleep when I was dead, which apparently might be very soon.