Gothikana

The girl with long, dark hair lay face down in the water, her tresses floating over it ethereally, her skin ghostly pale in the moonlight. Corvina looked around, knowing the place or but not knowing the time, just that she needed to get to the girl. She took a step forward, her ankle dipping in the icy water, disappearing under the blackness.

Heart pounding, she took another step, just as something cold, slimy gripped her ankles, locking her in place. Corvina struggled in place trying to get to her, but the movements caused ripples. Whatever gripped her ankles dragged her down in the black water, taking her under.

‘We know you hear us’, the feminine voice came from around her, bringing that scent of decay underwater.

Corvina looked around frantically, trying to see where the voice came from, trying to see anything in the utter blackness.

Slowly, something started to appear in the line of her vision, something that seemed to be drifting towards her very, very slowly. Corvina squinted, trying to see.

And then she saw.

Bodies.

Suspended in the water.

Floating towards her.

‘Help,’ the voice said again. ‘Find. He will anchor you down.’

Corvina looked down to see Vad gripping her ankles, holding her under the surface. She struggled to get free but he didn’t let her go, the movement causing ripples across the still water.

The girl who had been floating before on top of the surface drowned, her black hair dancing in the ripples, and stopped right in front of Corvina.

It was Corvina.

Corvina blinked, trying to understand what she was seeing.

The floating version of her suddenly opened her eyes, fully black as the raven as had been in the mirror, just as the other bodies surrounded her and began to scream, their slimy limbs enclosing her underwater.

‘Join us. Join us. There is no other way.’

“Corvina!”

She woke with a gasp, her eyes flying everywhere around her, her hands trying to get the sensation of the slimy things off her skin.

A body came on top of her, hands pinning hers down, arresting her horizontally on the bed.

“You’re safe. It was a bad dream. Calm down.”

The deep, gravel voice speaking in that heavy tone caught her attention. Corvina blinked up, trying to focus, and saw Vad’s mildly concerned face above hers, his eyes glinting even in the dark of the room.

Corvina gulped in a lungful of air, trying to get her heart to calm down as visions from the dreams still assaulted her mind.

“They’re in the lake.”

He frowned slightly. “Who are?”

“The bodies,” she whispered to him. “That’s what they showed me. How is that even possible? Am I going crazy, Vad?”

He lay down on his side, pulling her in. “Tell me what you saw.”

She did. She told him about the feminine voice she’d heard the first time at the lake, of the voice she heard every time she’d gone near it, and of the dream.

“You don’t really think there’s anything to it, right?” she swallowed, needing the reassurance.

He stroked her back with his fingers mindlessly, quiet for a long minute.

“I think tomorrow you need to make a call to Dr. Detta and I need to make a call to the Board,” he finally stated, distracted. “I’ve seen enough things I cannot explain in my life to not write off whatever this is. From my knowledge, the lake was never dragged before.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” he said, but his voice held an edge of something Corvina couldn’t decipher.

She looked at the clock on the wall. It was already five in the morning, the sky still dark outside.

“Can we go to the lake?” she asked him, getting out of bed and finding her clothes on the floor.

“What’s the point of going right now?” he leaned back on his elbows, watching her with those sharp eyes. “We can’t drag the lake by ourselves. The Board will get a team up here by noon.”

Corvina felt jittery, unsettled, the dream still on the forefront of her mind. “I don’t know. I just. I need some air.”

She quickly put on her clothes and tied her hair back with her choker ribbon, wrapping the shawl around herself. Just as she headed to the door, she felt him at her back.

“You’re not going there alone,” he stated, pulling the door open.

Grateful for his company, because she really hadn’t wanted to go there by herself, Corvina followed him silently as he snuck them out, zipping up a jacket and pulling the hood over his head.

They went out into the dark, cold, foggy morning, the wind an assault on their skin. He picked up a lantern from the side of the door and flicked his lighter, turning it on, leading them to their right. Thankfully, the rain had stopped, leaving behind only a trail of moist mist that clung to them. Corvina looked at the stairs she’d taken up the mountain, confused.

“There’s a shorter path that cuts through here,” he told her, taking her into the dark woods on the side.

A chill went down her spine, a frisson of fear as he led them to the black mouth of a tunnel she hadn’t even known existed.

He pulled the lantern up and turned to her, extending his hand palm up, his face half-glowing in the light from the flame, half-darkened from the night around them. Corvina looked into the mouth of the tunnel, her heart beating rapidly, knowing this was the moment of truth.

‘What if he’s been evil all along, Corvina?’ an insidious voice whispered in her head, one she’d only heard once before in her life. ‘What if he said the things you needed to hear to bring you here? You could disappear and never be found.’

Corvina paused.

She had gone to him of her own volition, so no one in her tower even knew she was missing from her room. Sex was one thing, emotions were one thing, but life was another. She trusted him with sex and trusted herself with emotions but life? Did she trust him with her life? She’d had a dream about finding corpses, bodies that his grandfather had tortured and murdered, a grandfather whose death who she still didn’t know about. Had he killed his grandfather? When he meant he wanted to clean up the mess in Verenmore, had he meant burying the secrets deeper or bringing them to light?

Corvina stared at his hand, at the hand that had touched and caressed and claimed every inch of her, her heart pounding. It was the same hand dream-Vad had pulled her underwater with, the same hand beast-Vad had held her down with, the same hand real Vad had played both her body and that piano with beautiful music.

Did she trust him enough to go into an unknown tunnel with him? Was it a risk of disappearing forever without a trace or was she overthinking?

She glanced up from his hand to his eyes, watching them watch her, his gaze alight with the knowledge of her thoughts.

This was his test.

He had deliberately brought her to this tunnel, as a test to her mettle.

What had he told her?

‘I can’t give the truth to someone I don’t trust not to flee.’ 

Was this a test to see if she fled or did he want it to seem like a test?

She didn’t know why the sight of that tunnel triggered all these questions in her brain. Did she trust him to go into the dark alone with him after knowing everything she did?

She closed her eyes, centering herself, images flashing behind her eyes in a split second.

The Devil, The Lovers, The Tower.

Mo’s voice as he told her to hold onto him.

Coming together in the car on a cliff in the rain.

Pressed together in the library.

Dealing together in the Vault.

Dream-Vad sitting on his throne, all alone, ravishing her.

Real-Vad consuming her in the woods.

And just hours ago, together in the bath.

“Do you trust me?” he asked the pertinent question, his voice steady, giving nothing away.

Corvina opened her eyes, staring at his hand. A sense of déjà-vu washed over her again, as though she had been in this place, in this moment, in this time before. 

It might be stupid. It might be destructive. It might change everything. But she trusted what he made her feel, trusted her instincts to not have led her astray, trusted the universe not to have guided her wrong.

She took his hand, glancing up at him. “Yes.”

His hand engulfed hers, wrapping around her smaller one with power and triumph, his other hand lowering the lantern and shrouding their faces in the dark. Something pivotal had happened in that moment, something that had changed, shifted, realigned the two of them, merging pieces of them together in a way one couldn’t tell where she ended and he began. With her trust, she’d given him the last of that she’d had left, her entire being this mountain of secrets that he now owned.

“You have no idea what you’ve just done, little witch,” he tugged her into his body, his jaw glowing in the low yellow flame. “There’s no going back now. I will never let you escape.”

Corvina swallowed, her free hand over his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under her palm. “Just know that if you kill me, I will personally haunt you. Good luck getting your dick wet after that.”

A slash of a smile in the dark. “Duly noted.”

With that, he tugged her with him, taking her into the abyss.

Corvina gripped his hand, following this lead as he went through the dark, narrow tunnel carved into the mountain. The walls were jagged and rocky, the path littered with grass under their feet.

He kept the lantern low and Corvina looked up to see why.

Bats. Hundreds of them hanging upside down in the cave-like tunnel. So this is where they stayed. 

The confidence in his stride was the only thing that kept Corvina from feeling suffocated in the tunnel, knowing there would soon be an end to this. She breathed through her mouth with a vise-like grip on his hand and tried to cross the patch of bats.

After a few minutes, she looked up, relieved to see the bats gone thankfully. 

“What is this place?” she whispered, her voice carrying even in the low volume.

“One of the many tunnels around Verenmore,” he spoke in the same low tone. “Most people don’t know about them, and those that do never really cross them.”

“Was it on your family’s map?” she asked just to keep herself distracted.

“Yes,” he replied, giving her hand a squeeze. “There’s one that leads straight to the valley. I had that one sealed shut. That’s what the Slayers had used to get up and down the mountain so quickly without being seen.”

Corvina shuddered, the wetness in the air and the cold in the tunnel making her clutch to her shawl. A few steps ahead, a carcass of an animal littered the side.

“How do you even cross these alone?” she asked, looking at the bones scattered about as they crossed it.

His hand squeezed hers again. “I’ve never really been scared of much. Darkness, death, blood, bones, they’re all a part of life, one way or another.”

“And ghosts?” she asked picking up speed with him. “Do you believe in them?”

“I don’t know,” he gave her a look from under his hood, the lantern swinging from his other hand, lighting their path. “I’m more of a preternatural believer. I believe that there are many things beyond our understanding that don’t have an explanation yet. Maybe it will in a few years. After all, a few hundred years ago there was no explanation for schizophrenia either.”

No, there hadn’t been. Her mother, had she been born in a different time, would have been burned at the stake. So would Corvina.

They emerged into the mouth of the tunnel on the other side finally, and Corvina gulped in a lungful of fresh, precious air. She looked around, the sky a little lighter than it had been, and realized they were near the bridge.

A murder of crows flew by overhead, cawing at her.

“Your birds missed you,” his wry voice came from her side as she looked up at the birds, a small smile on her face.

“I haven’t been able to see them in a few weeks,” she commented, watching as the birds settled on the open gazebo beside the bridge, some flying away.

“I know,” he let go of her hand. “I’ve been giving them treats when I go to repair the piano.”

Corvina looked at him in surprise. That was unexpected. Nice. And she felt like an idiot for having a moment of panic before they got in the tunnel.

“You wanted to come to the lake,” he reminded her, walking upon the bridge and leaning his elbows on the stone railing. “Here we are.”

Corvina inhaled and walked to the bridge by his side, leaning over to look into the black water.

For the first time since coming to Verenmore, she closed her eyes and opened her senses. She didn’t know if it was something she’d picked up subconsciously that was now coming to her, or something beyond the normal, beyond her understanding. She simply knew it was trying to make itself known through her.

The smell of rot and decay drifted in first before the voice did.

‘Find us.’

Phantom ants crawled over her skin, the hair on the nape of her neck rising. Corvina took a deep breath, and looked down at the water, seeing her reflection in the murky depths. The crows who had been on the gazebo took off, circling above her head once before flying over the mountain.

She swallowed.

“Will you be here when they drag the lake?” she asked the man by her side, the one she could feel watching her closely.

“Yes.”

“Have them look under the bridge.”

She didn’t know how she knew that. Maybe it was the way her reflection reminded her of that mirror incident in the bathroom. Maybe it was instinct, some clues her deep mind had picked up on her walks that her consciousness couldn’t understand. Maybe it was the birds. She didn’t know.

But she touched the cold stone of the railing, remembering being dragged into this water, and wondered for the hundredth time if she was losing her mind.

After a few minutes of silence, they both returned to the castle through the woods, going around to the Admin Wing to make their phone calls.

Kaylin exited the Wing, stopping in surprise as she saw both Corvina and Vad standing together.

“Mr. Deverell,” Kaylin gave the man beside her a nod, realization dawning in her eyes. “Corvina.”

“I trust you to keep this confidential, Kaylin,” Vad spoke in his deep, authoritative tone to a woman much older than he was. “We’ll need to make some calls this morning.”

“Of course, Mr. Deverell,” Kaylin tilted her head and walked off to the path.

Corvina watched her go. “She knows who you are?”

They entered the empty building and Vad led her to an office on the left, sliding her a look. “No. You’re the only one here who knows that.” 

“Then why was she so… submissive?” Corvina wondered as they entered a small space with a desk, a chair, and a telephone. An ugly thought penetrated her mind. “Please tell me you haven’t slept with her.” She’d get nauseous if he had.

His deep chuckle came before his hands fell on her waist, tugging her into the space between his legs as he leaned back on the desk. One of his hands took a hold of her chin in a move her body recognized, his silver eyes warm on hers. “I like you being possessive of me.”

“That’s not an answer,” she pointed out, her stomach sinking.

“No,” he reassured her, his thumb rubbing her lower lip. “She’s subdued because she knows I’m on the Board. And she knows I’m on the Board because I asked her to send you an offer of admission. She wouldn’t have done that without knowing I had the authority.”

The knot in her chest loosened, her eyes falling to his neck as he gazed at her warmly. “You wouldn’t have liked living on campus with one of my old lovers either,” she reminded him, flushing under his scrutiny.

His grip on her chin tightened, pulling her face up, his other hand cupping her ass in a proprietary gesture. “I would’ve thrown him off this mountain than have him on it, little crow. Even my evil, beastly form in your dream didn’t share. Your mind knows well enough I never would.”

God, she didn’t understand why it turned her on so much when he claimed her like that.

“I need to call Dr. Detta,” she whispered, hoping he would give her the privacy to do so.

He rubbed her lower lip. “Then call him. I’m not leaving. There’s nothing in your file that I don’t know already.”

He brought the phone towards her without moving or letting her move. Corvina sighed, and dialed the number she had memorized years ago, one she called every few months.

She brought the phone to her ear, her finger fidgeting with the wire as his hands cupped her lower back, rubbing soothing circles around them.

The line rang on the other end four times, each one making her heart beat faster, until she was asked to leave a message.

Corvina took a deep breath, waited for the beep, and spoke. “Hi, Dr. Detta. This is Corvina Clemm. I hope you’re doing well. I’m at the University of Verenmore now. For the last few weeks, I’ve been hearing voices, not just Mo’s but others. And I’ve been seeing some things. The worst was in the bathroom one day. I think I hallucinated, but I’m not sure. That’s the thing, I have no idea if these… things I’m experiencing are really happening or if they’re in my head.” Her muscles tightened as she took another breath. “Given my history, I… I just want to know. I know my tests were negative last time but maybe something changed. Please tell me what to do. I-”

The message cut off.

Corvina exhaled and handed the phone to the man pressed into her, the one watching her like a hawk with silver eyes.

“You didn’t tell me about the bathroom,” he stated, his eyes narrowing.

“I didn’t know I had to tell you,” she tensed. “It was a while ago anyways.”

He wrapped an arm around her, tugging her into his body and pushing her chin up, her head tilting back as he leaned down. “Understand this, Corvina. I don’t know how this thing between us changed and I don’t care. You’re not alone. Not anymore,” he said patiently, his eyes fierce. “If something like that happens, you tell me. If you need help, you tell me. If you need comfort, you tell me. Whatever it takes. I get to be the only madness inside you, you understand?”

Her throat tightened.

She wasn’t alone. But would it last?

“We don’t know how long this will last,” she echoed her thought, her eyes on his neck.

“Look at me,” he commanded and her body complied, her gaze locking with his. “I am the grandson of a serial killer. I was raised by him, taught by him. His legacy is mine, his blood is mine. I will never be a good man. But you don’t need a good man, do you? You need a devil to fight your demons because you don’t want to fight them alone. You’re self-sufficient but you don’t want to be. You want that beast on the throne who would take charge for you, the beast who could fuck you raw in a room full of people gone mad and still make you feel safe. Am I wrong?”

Corvina felt naked, skinned, gutted, her insides strewn on the floor of this office as he bluntly looked through them.

“No,” her voice was barely a whisper.

“Some things are beyond our understanding,” he pulled her closer. “This began the day old lady Zelda told me about purple eyes. This,” he stroked her cheek with his thumb, “began the day I found your mother while looking for a friend, the day I saw you outside Dr. Detta’s office. You were sitting in a corner of the waiting area, all in black, huddled in your skirt, these eyes staring off into space.”

A tremor went up her jaw as he spoke, matching the tremble in her heart.

“I saw you then, I found you then. Bringing you here was a way for me to assuage my curiosity, nothing more. I never intended for you to know my secrets. But here we are, and this, this will last, Corvina,” his ferocity filled her entire face as he leaned closer, his lips a breath away.

“This will last until the day roses on my grave stop sharing roots with the roses on yours,” he declared. “I will have you even in death, little witch. I am your beast. I am your madness. And you, you’re my afterlife.”

“And if one day I become like my mama?” she whispered, the deepest, darkest fear in her heart.

“You won’t,” he murmured. “Your mother didn’t have anyone. That she raised you as she did is a miracle in itself. But you have me. I’m not letting you go anywhere. Do you understand?”

A tear fell down her cheek as he kissed her, his lips brutal on her lips, his hands brutal on her face, his words brutal on her heart. 

Corvina surrendered to him like sand under an ocean wave, letting him take her wherever he wished, leaving trails of her past behind this moment. Kissing him in that office, drinking in words of a man she still didn’t understand completely but knew she’d willingly spend a lifetime trying to, Corvina surrendered, felt something lost inside her finally come home.