Girl in Pieces

The Luis Alvarez Family Benefit is packed. People are strewn all over Congress Street outside Hotel Congress in downtown Tucson. Separate stages have been set up for preshow bands and the road is blocked to cars. A mariachi band strolls through the crowd. Luis’s photograph is on placards placed outside the hotel doors. He died shortly after Riley stole his car. Tiger Dean chats with a television crew, his hair pomped and his sunglasses perched on his head.

I catch sight of Mikey with Bunny, holding hands; he’s no longer in dreadlocks; his hair is a short golden cap around his head. I haven’t seen him since I got back.

Mikey turns and sees me. My stomach lurches as he smiles and walks over, Bunny staying behind to chat with someone. I can’t help but notice the glint of plain gold on his finger. Blue stays by my side, quiet.

“Hi,” he says shyly.

“Hi.”

“Charlie,” he says. “I’m really happy you’re here. I’m really happy to see you.”

I motion to his finger. “So, things are pretty different for you now.”

Mikey nods. “You could say that.” He laughs.

I take a deep breath. “I’m sorry for the way I acted, Mikey. Michael. I’m sorry. I should have answered your emails.”

He sighs. “I figured you probably deleted them. I was going to come see you soon, anyway, at Grit. Our tour got extended for a couple of months and we did end up making that record. Things are going to happen, it looks like.”

He takes a deep breath. “I have something for you. Charlie. I was going to bring it by Grit if I didn’t see you here.”

He reaches into the pocket of his jeans and pulls out a folded piece of paper.

“This is really difficult for me, Charlie, so let me just say it.” He closes his eyes and when he opens them, he looks right at me, hard, but smiling.

My heart flips a little, nervous about what it could be. “What? What is it?” I start to unfold the paper.

“I saw her, Charlie. We had a stop in Sandpoint. Where she is, in Idaho. And I saw her.”

Beside me, Blue grips my elbow tightly, takes the paper from my shaking hand. I can barely see for all the water in my eyes. I can barely breathe. Her. Her.

Ellis. My hands shake; the paper rattles.

“Oh my God, Charlie. She’s okay. I mean, she’s not okay-okay, but she isn’t totally gone. She’s there. You have to sit with her for a while and ask her really, really, specific things, but she’s there, and when I said your name, I swear to God, her whole face lit up.”

Mikey is crying a little, breathing heavily. I look down at the address on the paper, her name. My body is on fire, but in a good way, an excited way.

Like, bursting-with-love fire.

Ellis, my Ellis.

“Fucking outstanding,” Blue murmurs. “Outstanding.”

“Thank you, Mikey,” I whisper. “Thank you so, so much.”