Ghost in the Roses

At last, I can breathe! And with each passing mile, I keep feeling better and better. The Green Queen and her palace are far down below us and I think it’s safe for me to open my mouth to speak without feeling like I’m going to vomit.

“Thank stars this is fucking over,” I shake my head, still in disbelief at the criminal espionage that I committed.

“You telling me,” Lada agrees. “You won’t believe what crap she tried feeding me. She really put on a show.”

“What did the queen tell you?”

“Oh, exactly what I’ve expected to hear from her lying trap. She kind of tip-toed around it, but eventually got to telling me how my father was this insane, terrible being who used his birthright to satisfy his sick appetite. You’re not going to believe this, but she showed me a phony secret underground prison that he supposedly used for torture and she even set up fake remains of a town where he had his “tutors” gather around the young to “educate” them.”

“Wow, that’s quite a day you had.”

“Yes, all the while you were lounging around and eating to your heart’s content. I was kind of surprised that you let me walk alone with the queen.”

I can’t help but laugh, “You weren’t alone.”

“Yes, I was. It was just the Green Queen and me all day.”

“You think you were alone, but I assure you that her bodyguards were hiding out from view. You had a battalion follow you all the time.”

“Well, it’s a good thing that I played nice.”

Just then, the little ball of glass begins to hum. The data is done processing.

“What’s that blinking in your pocket?”

“Oh, nothing,” I shrug.

“Come one, those are no cookies you sneaked from tea time. What have you been up to?”

“I took some data from the queen’s office to see if there is any proof or disproof to anything she told you.”

“Is that legal?”

“No,” nausea starts to come back, “and it looks like the authentication is finished.” I take the information out and hand it to Lada,“Here, take a look and see what documents got verified.”

She takes it, almost in disbelief at what secrets linger in my pockets alone, “What do they teach you in that school?”

In silence, Lada activates my steal and the only sounds I hear are her fingers selecting and scrolling. Quietly, I’m dying to find out what it all says and can almost feel all the words burn at my back with their blueish glow. Over time, her enthusiasm dies and her fingers begin to drag. The breathing behind me changes and what I thought would bring her peace becomes something that causes her discomfort instead.

“This can’t be right,” there’s distraught and confusion in her voice.

“What does it say?” I try to prepare myself.

“It’s true. It’s all true.”

This is nowhere near enough.

“What is true, Lada?”

“What the Green Queen told me, it’s all true. It wasn’t an act or a setup. None of it was. What my aunt told me is true: my father was a monster,” a burst of tears accompanies her sad discovery.

Again, her breathing changes, and I know that this struggle in her lungs has nothing to do with the altitude.

“Let’s land,” I take the sphere out of her shaky hands.

Up ahead, there are the favorite clouds for perytons to roam. It’s the nearest landing and the safest ground for us to be on, but I seriously doubt that any of this crystallized sweetness will bring her any comfort. As soon as September’s claws touch the pink puffiness, Lada leaps from the saddle.

I leave Lada to her attempted escape, but no matter how far or fast she runs there’s no escaping the pain. There is no escaping the truth and as I look at the data and see what she saw, I can’t help but feel the second-hand agony in her screams. Like a caged wild beast, her silhouette moves back and forth across the white full moon. But no matter how much she fights it, she can’t win this and the ghosts of the past bring her to her knees. Her defeat is quiet. There is only a whimper. Both out of shame and grief, the palms of her hands hide her face.

I have no problem with letting her feel pain. Let it out. Let it all out. But there’s one thing I won’t let sink its teeth into her heart - guilt. This guild is not hers and this invisible intruder needs to be cast out.

“Lada,” my hand tries to model the softness of the flying pollen, but still her shoulder trembles.

As I’m beginning to think that I’m only getting in the way she places her hand on top of mine, “I’m so ashamed.”

“What are you ashamed of, Lada?”

“All along, I’ve been defending a monster. What does that make me? I guess this apple hasn’t fallen far from the tree.”

“Don’t say that. You have fallen far from the tree and did some rolling.”

“Yeah, I rolled alright. I rolled downhill.”

“No, you rolled in the right direction and you’ll make your own path. Don’t let your father’s past defy where you’ll go.”

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Maybe not right at this moment, but you’ll figure it out. I know you will.”

“What makes you so sure?”

It’s strange to see her doubt herself so and her head hanging so low.

“Because if I learned anything about you, Lada, that is you are not a monster. Far from it,” I kneel before her.

“I’ve been blind for so long.”

“We all have. It’s hard to see in the dark.”

“But I see now. I saw what my father did to all of those innocent people. My aunt was right to get rid of him.”

“I’m so sorry for what happened. I’m sorry I forced you into this.”

“I’m not. I’ve wanted the truth for so long and now I got it. I just wasn’t as ready as I thought I would be.”

“No one ever is, that’s why people avoid it for so long. But you had the guts to face it. Lada, don’t be too hard on yourself.”

“Huh, thanks,” she wipes the tears, takes a deep, deep breath, and then exhales. “Okay. I'm done here. I’m ready to go home.”

“Alright,” I nod. “It will take the rest of the night to get back.”

“Okay,” she lets me help her get back up on her feet.

We get back to the streets of Petograd and the sun starts to rise. Without any hesitation, this town gets back to work. The delivery carriages make their usual stops at local shops and businesses to drop off the fresh goods.

I too, make a delivery at the edge of a backstreet.

The closest thing to taking her home is taking her to that dark alley where I found Leo hiding in the graffiti. The reality of our lives is that knowing where Lada lives will always be a mystery to me.

“I never thanked you, Adrien,” it’s almost unbelievable to see Lada smile. These past couple of days have proven themselves to be an unexpected emotional roller coaster.

“For what?” I can’t even imagine after all that she has been through.

“For helping me find the truth. I feel so free. Free from anger, free from seeking vengeance, free from the past. Those things will no longer be my reason. Truth, forgiveness, and redemption will be the new roots of this movement,” her smile grows a little bit more.

“Then you’ll need this to back it all up,” her confession for the new approach gives me an idea of how to make it even more possible.

This sphere can be the key to that. I collect all the data about her father and concentrate it into a small section. Then, decode it from the rest of the stolen intel and detach it. The rest I code for self-destruction and we watch the unrelated documents disintegrate into the breeze.

“I’m dead if I ever get caught with this, but it should give you an upper hand over Rouge Red and still can show how a change needs to be made.”

Lada is pleased with the tiny gift,“Adrien, I...I don’t know what to say. Thank you.”

“You're welcome.”

“You don’t want to join the Red, so why are you doing this?”

“I know that some changes are necessary and many issues are being ignored, but Rouge Red can’t be allowed to become that change.”

“Oh, of course,” she gives my answer a long blink.

“And... this is because I’m your friend,” I hand her another present- a small bouquet of those crystal flowers I collected from our stop on the clouds.

“What’s this?”

“You can’t visit the peryton’s territories without trying some of these flower pedals. They taste just like hard candy.”

I’m relieved to see her laugh as she accepts the souvenir from our long and difficult trip.

“Good day, Lada. I’ll see you around,” I set off to get back to my dragon.

“You can count on that,” jokingly and very informally, she salutes me and melts into the shadows of the alley.

I know that this isn’t the dragon ride I promised her long ago, but I hope that she still thinks of me as a friend. I hope Lada knows that even when things go to shit and she falls, I can be trusted to catch her.