From the Heart of a Fae

Kora had just finished draining the massive tub, to fill it with clean water, so she could finish washing up. Blood made a mess. Sinking into the hot water, she fully submerged, holding her breath. She could hear the door of the washroom open through the water, and tried to stay under it as long as she could. Unable to hold her breath any longer, she emerged, sputtering. She had expected to see Ben, but It was Stella.

“You know, if I had known what you planned to do- I never would’ve taken her out of the net.” Stella spoke softly. Kora scowled.

“Do not judge me Estella Eden, you know what she has done. You never had to stand in my shoes before.” Stella’s eyes were icy.

“I may not have ever had the burden you do, Koraline. But I rule this land just as you do, I am Malik’s heir, until he marries, and another is born. Our brother and I ruled together until you arrived. We have made our own sacrifices for the good of this land. I will not tell you that Amelia did not deserve it. I know she did. I am trying to tell you that I wouldn’t have allowed you to do it, for your sake-not hers.” Stella came forward and sat on the edge of the tub behind Kora. With gentle hands, she began to wash her sister’s hair, and Kora remained quiet.

“Revenge is ugly, Kora. It blackens the heart. Try not to lose sight of who you really are while traveling on this road you are on. Cruelty is often justified as necessary or deserved. You can always choose the higher road. Such acts will eat at you, years from now.” Stella spoke softly now, pouring a pitcher of clean rinse water over Kora’s head as she leaned back.

“I will not promise you that I won’t have similar things planned for the men of the gray. They have taken too much of our country to meet a peaceful end. But I will keep your warning in mind. I do not want to lose myself…” Kora sighed and pulled her knees up to her chest. Laying her head on them, she looked at Stella sideways.

“I am sorry you had to see such a thing. I just could not let that woman go. She… well, she had it coming.” Stella nodded and pushed Kora’s wet bangs out of her eyes. ” It is hard sometimes; I forget that you are not human. I cannot completely understand where you are coming from, but I am always here for you, Kora. You are my sister. Blood or no. I wanted to remind you there is a dark side to this and that you must remember the light. It is what we are fighting for. The gods gave it to us, and we must protect it.” Kora grabbed her sister’s hand and held it for a moment, the women reaching an understanding. Standing, Stella handed her a fresh drying cloth, and Kora wrapped it around herself.

“Ben is dying to see you, but I asked if we could have some alone time? Just for tonight. If you’re ok with it.” Kora nodded and dried herself off. She wrapped a robe around herself and walked into her dressing room. Ludis was sitting at the vanity waiting for them. She smiled weakly at Kora and hugged her.

“Blood isn’t your color, girl.” Ludis joked; her voice watery. Kora smiled awkwardly, and grabbed her brush, beginning to sort out her tresses.

" I asked Ludis to be here, I thought a girl’s night was in order?” Stella asked and motioned to the sitting room. On the low table in front of the couches were a few trays of food, and two bottles of the finest whiskey from the north. Kora opened one and smelled the rich aroma, sighing gratefully. A stiff drink was certainly in order. Sitting with her feet tucked under her, each girl poured their own glass, and Kora coughed. She raised her glass to her friends and family.

“To… Not losing your way.” She looked at each of the women, who murmured their agreements and raised their glasses. They all downed the rich brown liquid and stared into the fire. Stella dished out the food, snack crackers, meats, and cheeses. Ludis looked at Kora, and tentatively spoke.

“Remember when I told you about the healing of your mind? I think you should try now if you are ready. I understand if you are not- but I … just did not know how deep this went. I want to help.” Stella nodded and moved close to Ludis.

“I will help you too, if you’ll let me.” Kora looked at them, her expression bleak.

“It’s not something Id wish for you to experience.” Kora sounded so sad, and Stellas heart lurched.

“We are here for you. We want to help you. Please let us.”

The three women sat in front of the fire, in a circle. They took each other’s hands as Ludis began chanting the spell. In their minds eye- they began to see Kora’s life. The beatings she endured by her mother as a toddler. Her father taking her away, the happy life she led with the tribe. Her mother was riding in to take her away. The images of her mother dressing her up, and yanking her hair to comb it, telling her to stop crying and that it was just sex. Forcing her down to the cave. Chaining her to the wall. The endless masked men who came and went. The pain. Then her father rescued her, begging her to tell him who did this, and she would not tell. He never found out it was her own mother. The days she spent close to him after, he never let her out of his sight. Learning to ride, fight and be fae. Then the death of her brother’s mother, followed by her own. She did not grieve her, and her father lost his way. The deaths of her father and brother. Trying to rule a kingdom when no one believed she could. Meeting Drew. Learning to trust and love and be ok with her body again. The death of her best friend Ikalla. Loss after loss in the battle of the Men of the grey. Feeling like she was losing Drew to Amalia. Then ... The moment she was turned to stone. The spell broke. Ludis and Stella both vomited. Tears were running down their cheeks. It was like they had been Kora, had felt everything she felt. They felt dirty and wanted to scrub themselves from the inside. They turned to Kora, sitting with her hands listless in her lap, tears of her own streaming down her face. They both wiped their mouths and crawled over to her, and the three-woman sat together and wept. It was a long time before any of them could speak, and it was Kora who broke the silence. Shadow had wrapped himself around all three women, trying to comfort them with his warmth.

“Now you know. You know all of it. My trauma, my failures.” Stella cupped Kora’s face and kissed her forehead.

“We are with you always. We will always have your back. You can tell us anything. Thank you for trusting us – for sharing these terrible things that happened to you.” Kora smiled weakly at them.

“You are loved here Kora. Each one of us would die before we ever let something remotely close happen to you again. We are all one.” Ludis spoke, and she took Kora’s hand. Kora felt their love and sincerity. She was grateful to have someone she could share herself – her true self- with. She sighed. After another long pause of silence, more drinks going around – Kora offered a change of subject.

" How about you tell us when you intend to marry our brother.” Kora smiled slyly, and Ludis spit whiskey across the room.

Kora watched the women as Stella poked at Ludis, trying to get details.

“He’s wonderful. You know I love him. But he needs a queen. I don’t think I can fill those shoes.” Ludis spoke softly, sounding sad. Kora leaned forward.

“I was queen once. What do you think the position calls for? Elegant dresses, bowing and scraping? Our nation needs leaders, not ornaments for the court. You are an essential extension of the crown Ludis. I would support you as queen. We need someone who is not going to bend at the first gust of northern air. Someone who thinks of all of Deirdre’s people, and not the ones with golden pockets.” Ludis looked stunned. Stella agreed.

“Seriously, Ludis, I’m not sure what you were thinking the position entailed. Being queen in a land recovering from millennia of war, no one has time for all the pomp the nobility wants. They will have to adapt as we have. Only the strongest must rule here.” Kora nodded. Ludis looked at them both and stood up.

“You mean this? Both of you support me?" Kora stood and grabbed Ludis by the arms.

“Go tell our brother you’re going to marry him, already. Stop torturing yourself.” Kora knelt at Ludis’s feet, and Stella moved to do the same.

“I swear fealty now and forever- to the future Queen of Deirdre. To be a warrior maiden of old. To serve as her sword arm, and a companion for all her days. May your reign be blessed by the gods, and the Fae look on you with favor always.” Kora pulled a knife from the bag under the table, and she cut a line in her hand. She handed the knife to Ludis, and with shaky hands, Ludis cut a similar line into her own palm. The women grabbed hands, cuts pushing together.

" I promise to put the lives and needs of my vassals before my own always. To honor you and never ask of you something I cannot do myself. I swear to protect you, and to hold you dear to my heart. Always” Ludis was crying, and Stella swore the same vow. They stood, and the women embraced. It was ancient magic they swore by, and the blood of the fae they had sworn with. They were now tied forlife. By magic as strong as the earth. They wiped tears from each other’s eyes, and Ludis left, running down the hall searching for Malik.