Forever in the Past and Forever in the Future

Winter solstice is seriously my favorite holiday.

I mean, this will be the first time I get to celebrate it. In the past, I was responsible for wrapping all the gifts for the Silver Moon pack Winter Solstice party. One year, there was an extra gift left over, so Beta Tate let me have it after everyone had left. It was a box of chocolate truffles. There were eight in the box. Each one had a different flavor filling, and I savored every bite. I knew I would never get another gift again, but that one meant the world to me. It didn't matter to ten-year-old Kas that it was just a forgotten box. It was special to me.

Even if I haven't been an active participant before, I still love all the decorations, watching people exchange gifts, the music, the games, the special foods I get to bake, all of it. It is the feeling in the air. It is just so wonderful. Speaking of which, I want to give gifts this year, but I feel awkward asking Bronx for money. I don't want him to think I'm taking advantage of him. So I do what lam best at. I bake.

Since I'm still a little unsure about borrowing a laptop, Ashley prints me out a list of all the families in the pack. There are over six hundred families, so I have my work cut out for me, but I know I can do it. I start with chocolates and truffles since they last the longest, then I move on to cookies, then cakes and pastries. Mrs. Miller tells me there are plenty of extra pantry supplies, so baking for the pack won't be a problem. She even lets me use the kitchen and helps me find nice decorative packaging from the storeroom.

Delilah hasn't found a job yet, so she asks if she can help. It turns out she likes baking, and she's really good at it too, so she helps me with all the goodies I'm making. I'm so glad to have the company. She and I have a similar taste in music, so we are able to dance around while we are working or waiting for things to come out of the ovens. A few days before Solstice, we're waiting around the kitchen for more cakes to come out of the oven. Delilah is leaning against the counter looking bored.

"Kas, I need a haircut. Where do you go to get yours done?" Delilah whines a little, looking at her blonde split ends between her fingers. "I've never had a haircut. I've used old shears I found in the trash when i was brown, but I haven't cut it since it turned silver," I shrug. "lokaste Latmus," Delilah sits up at attention and scolds me, her eyes turning dark blue," taking care of your hair is just as important as taking care of the rest of your body."

She picks up her cell phone and texts someone. A moment later, the chime of response comes through. She picks up the phone and smiles.

"Ashley made us appointments for tomorrow. You and I are getting fresh haircuts for the party," Delilah says with conviction. I notice her eyes shifting to a lighter blue as her mood changes. It's such a cool ability.

We make it into a girls' day out and convince Ashley and Lenora to join us. After much deliberation based on magazine photos, web searches, and opinions from the ladies, I chose a picture from one of Ashley's fashion magazines.

For the first time in my life, I get a professional haircut. The stylist looks at the picture several times as she cuts my hair. She cuts off about four inches, but it's still long. Then she adds layers and heavy bangs that come a little below my eyes. When the stylist turns the chair around, I stare at the girl in the chair with my mouth hanging wide. That can't be me. I stand up and touch the mirror, thinking I must be looking into a different room in the spa.

"Kas, it's beautiful!" Ashley squeals as she comes up behind me and squeezes my shoulders. Lenora and Delilah agree from their manicure stations.

The woman has me sit down and shows me multiple ways to style it. She even shows me how to use a flat iron to put wavy curls into it. "Do you think Bronx will like it?" I ask, tugging a little at the ends, looking at my friends in the mirror. The layers make it look even more glittery than before, making me a little self-conscious.

"Oh yeah. He's gonna love it," Lenora reassures me.

After we all finish getting our hair cut and manicures, Lenora and Ashley take us out to lunch. I comment on how nice the restaurant is after we are seated. I haven't been to a restaurant since we stopped at the little cafe in France when we were coming home and before that; I had never really been to a restaurant, except one time when I was on a class field trip, but I didn't have money to actually eat, so the teacher gave me the extra bread from the baskets that was served before the meal. :

"What do you mean you haven't been to a restaurant since you got back?" Lenora hisses, as our food is being served.

I shrug as I push my fork around my vegetables, "We've had a lot going on. Bronx has been busy with MasonCo. I've busy helping with Winter Solstice planning." Lenora lets it drop, but based on the look on her face, I have a feeling her brother is going to get an earful later.

Bronx gets home at his normal time. He sets his briefcase down by the door and comes to the living room to give me a kiss, but he stops in his tracks.

"Y-your hair is-...It...I can't......umm," he stammers. The look of shock on his face is not comforting.

"You don't like it?" I ask, suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

Crap.

I feel my neck and cheeks starting to become hot and a lump in my throat that I swallow down. I avert my gaze from Bronx as I try to adjust my hair, so it isn't as noticeable. I stand up in a rush to go geta hair tie.

Bronx blinks a couple of times with a confused look before he puts his hand over his heart.

"My little goddess, you are...stunning," he says breathlessly, stopping me in my tracks. He comes over and takes my hand as he sits on the sofa, setting me in his lap. He gently runs his fingers through my hair and admires me lovingly, making me purr at his touch. "Baby, I love it. It was just such a big shock. I didn't mean to make you feel bad about yourself," he says softly as he admires my face and hair," Every time I see you, you're more beautiful than the last time I saw you. Just when I think you can't get any prettier, you go and make my heart feel like it's going to beat out of my chest all over again.""

He pulls me to him and gives me the sweetest, softest kiss. Making me feel like I'm the only other person in the world. As he wraps arms around me, I hear a small howl far, far in the back of my mind. Lex?

I pull away from Bronx suddenly, "Elexis?" "What is it, Baby? Can you hear Lex? Is she back?" He asks hopefully.

I listen carefully and call out for her. The howling becomes more and more distant until I can't hear it anymore.

My heart sinks, "She's trying, but she is so far away." 2

"Don't worry, Kas. Keep searching for her, she'll find her way back," Bronx soothes me as he rubs my back. We'll work on it together."