FULL NOVELXO Finn Rhodes Forever: Chapter 19
THREE DAYS LATER, I was still thinking about the pastel purple sticky note that had been sitting on my bookshelf when I got home from the diner with Finn.
It was a cartoon drawing of a bird with a choppy haircut. He must have put it there while I was changing out of my pajamas. I’d set it on my bedside table, and when I woke up, it was the first thing I saw.
“Olivia.”
I snapped to attention with a sharp inhale. My head whipped toward Sadie, leaning on the bar with crossed arms and a funny smile on her face. “What?”
“You’ve been drying that glass for five minutes.” She grinned wider, her green eyes shining.
I dropped the cloth and set the glass on the rack above my head. “Just thinking about my research.”
“Right.” She nodded, still smiling. “Your research. And how’s that going?”
I shrugged. “Fine.”
“Mhm.” She leaned in, narrowing her eyes.
Nerves squirmed in my stomach.
“Your shirt is weird.” She glanced at the t-shirt I bought online last week.
It was a murky, unflattering brown, almost like it had been tie-dyed, and smack-dab in the center of my chest was a giant poo emoji.
She gave me a funny look. “What’s up with you?”
I swallowed and shrugged again. “Nothing,” I lied.
“You’re lying.”
She pinned me with her gaze and I glanced between her and the counter. “I’m going on a date with Finn tonight.”
“Oh my god. I knew it.” She gasped in delight. “Do you like him now?”
I opened my mouth to deny it but nothing came out. At the diner the other night, he had been so sweet, and talking with him was so easy. I shook my head while my mouth opened and closed.
“No. I don’t know. I don’t think so.”
My forehead wrinkled and I put my face in my hands.
I was a fucking mess, and I’d been a fucking mess for days. Finn living across the hall was driving me insane. The walls were so thin I could hear when he got home or left for the fire hall. If he wasn’t working, he’d hang out in the bar in the evenings, watching sports with his brothers or chatting with the other regulars or my dad. I had lost count of the times I’d turned around with a tray full of drinks and met his gaze while he was mid-conversation. I felt the prickle of his eyes on me at all times. It shot a skitter of nerves down my spine.
Yesterday, there was a bird cartoon sticky note on my car window of the bird driving a car. It said bird needs an oil change—leave the keys with the asshole across the hall and he’ll get it done. This morning, I opened my front door to a coffee with a sticky note of the bird half asleep and drinking coffee, with little z’s floating out of its head.
My head was full of thoughts of Finn. I thought about the way he smelled, sharp and clean and fresh. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled at me. His fingers on my inner thigh. The way his hands felt framing my jaw as he kissed me quick. Him nipping my ear in the diner.
The worst part? I’d been having sex dreams about Finn. Even my subconscious couldn’t stop thinking about him.
I was so, so fucking horny, and all I could think about was going further with Finn. Kissing Finn. Getting naked with Finn. Licking a line up his throat. His mouth on me. His hands everywhere.
I shuddered. That’s why I was wearing the ugly poo emoji t-shirt. Finn tried to kiss me the other night and I let him. If Finn wanted to pull me into his apartment and touch me until I couldn’t think, I’d let him do that, too.
And then everything would be totally fucked.
“Your eyes are doing that weird thing again,” Sadie said. “Where are you going tonight?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t asked.” I sucked in a breath. “It’s getting harder to…” I trailed off and met Sadie’s eyes. She was one of the few people I could be myself around. “I’m forgetting why I hate him. He’s…”
“Really hot?” she supplied.
I snorted. “Yeah. He’s really hot.”
I remembered how sweet he was, doing first aid on me. And nice, thoughtful, and funny.
“Is it possible he’s not the guy you remember?” Her voice was quiet and she studied her nails, acting casual.
I knew what she was doing. She was trying not to freak me out.
“Stop planting the seed of doubt.”
Her gaze shot up and she grinned. “Sorry. Busted. I just remember at my wedding when he asked me about you. He seemed so sad, like he wished he still had you in his life.” Her mouth twisted in a rueful smile. “He still cares about you.”
“I know he does.” My heart squeezed up into my throat and I crossed my arms, hugging myself.
He cared about me before and he still left.
Sadie’s gaze caught over my shoulder. “Hello,” she said with a bright smile.
I turned to see Dot, the doily museum owner, standing on the other side of the counter.
“Hi, Dot.” I blinked in surprise. With her tweed skirt suit, white silk shirt with a lace collar, and neatly pinned up gray hair, she stuck out in the dingy dive bar.
“Hello, Olivia.” She reached down into her handbag before placing a doily on the counter.
Or, it was supposed to be a doily. It was a mangled mess of yarn and white fabric, like a kid had made it. Sadie and I stared at it on the counter.
“Finn forgot to take it with him after the workshop,” she told us.
“The workshop?” Sadie repeated.
Dot nodded. “He attended my doily workshop last week. Attendance was low this year but we had a lovely time. After the workshop, he insisted on taking me out for lunch. He’s a very nice boy.” She smiled, the wrinkles around her eyes multiplying.
Sadie placed a hand on my arm, a silent way of saying see? I swatted her hand away.
Dot smiled at the doily before wincing and leaning in, lowering her voice. “I’ll admit he isn’t very good at making doilies, but it was nice to have the company. He loved hearing about the hiking trip my Roger and I did in the eighties.”
I stared at her. Finn went to a doily workshop? I had a sneaking feeling in my gut that he wanted to make this lovely little old lady happy. My heart tugged.
My mind flicked back to the empty doily museum and how happy Dot had been when we arrived.
“Stay for a drink,” I told her. “On the house. I’ll make you whatever you like.”
“Yes, stay!” Sadie beamed at her.
“Well, alright then.” She made her way up onto the stool. “I can’t remember the last time I had a cocktail in such an interesting establishment.” Her gaze lingered on the alien dildo hanging off the wall.
I smiled at the excitement in her eyes. “What do you like?”
Dot listed drinks she liked and I made her a New York sour—bourbon, lemon juice, simple syrup, egg white, and red wine. Her eyes lit up when I slid it across the counter to her.
“Red wine reminds me of my nun days,” she said, taking the first sip, eyebrows bobbing at the flavor.
I blinked at her. “I’m sorry?”
She nodded. “I used to be a nun, but that was before I met my Roger. He was the mailman at the convent.” She let out a laugh. “They were so surprised when I ran off with him. I’ll never forget their faces.”
I stared at her.
Movement caught my eye. I turned to see Finn stepping out of the hallway that led upstairs and my stomach did a slow roll forward.
He wore a navy-blue button-up shirt, done all the way up to the collar. He should have looked like a dork with that shirt but knowing he was covered in tattoos underneath woke my brain up. The shirt stretched across his broad shoulders. His hair was damp and curling. Every time I saw him with damp hair, I thought about him in the shower, water running down his muscles and tattoos. His hand on his cock, thinking about me with his eyes closed and lips parted.
Alarm rose in me. Tonight was a bad idea. I should have made an excuse.
His gaze met mine and he shot me a wicked smile as he strode over. He stopped right in front of me and I caught a whoosh of his clean scent. He must have seen something flickering in my eyes because his eyes flashed with endearment.
I was so fucked.
“Hi,” he said, voice low and eyes on me.
“Hi.” I rolled my mouth into a line, unable to tear my gaze away.
“Nice poo shirt.”
Behind him, Sadie snorted. I shot her a shut up glare.
“Ready to go?” he asked, eyes still glittering with amusement.
“Yep.” My voice sounded small and my entire stomach was full of butterflies.
He turned and spotted Dot. “Hi, Dot, how are you?”
“Hello, Finn.” She smiled back at him and gestured to her drink. “Olivia here made me a wonderful drink. It’s called a New York sour.”
Finn glanced at me with appreciation. “She’s good at mixing drinks. I’ll have to get her to make me one of those later.”
I tilted my chin at the doily on the counter. “You’ve been busy,” I told him.
He shot me a sheepish smile and swiped it off the counter, tucking it in his back pocket. “I have.” He slipped his big, warm hand around mine and tugged me to follow him. “See you later, Dot. Come in again and we’ll have a drink together,” he called over his shoulder as he led me down the hallway and through the door to the alley.
The second we got outside, he spun me around and walked me backward so I was pressed against the wall. My eyes widened as he stepped into my space, one arm leaning on the wall beside my head, the other still holding my hand. My pulse skyrocketed at his nearness and I couldn’t tear my gaze from his. He smelled incredible, masculine and clean, and the sharp, delicious scent made my thoughts blur.
That wicked grin curled up on his mouth again.
“Back to your old antics,” he said, gaze flicking down to my t-shirt.
“It’s laundry day,” I lied. My voice sounded breathless and I hated that Finn Rhodes did this to me. That he made me into this swooning, light-headed woman who couldn’t focus on anything except the infuriating, cruel tilt of the corner of his mouth and how fucking badly I wanted to suck on it.
“Mhm. I’m sure it is.” His gaze roamed my face. “You think a t-shirt like that is going to distract me from how nice your tits are?”
Heat pooled low in my belly and I blinked. “Um. I don’t know.”
“It isn’t.” He held my gaze and my stomach rolled back and forth with nerves and excitement. His hand gave mine a little squeeze and my lips parted. His eyes darkened. “You heard what I said in the diner.”
Did I fucking ever. I’d been hearing those low words in my sleep. I remember every inch of your body. A muscle low in my stomach tightened.
We stared at each other for a long moment in the quiet alley while cars drove past on the street and people chatted on the sidewalk twenty feet away. My breasts felt heavy and my pulse thrummed between my legs.
He glanced down at my mouth and my heart sped up even more.
I should have kissed him. Why not? I wanted to, and I couldn’t remember why I shouldn’t—
Finn pulled away, tugging my hand toward his car. “Come on, Livvy, let’s go.”
He opened the passenger door and guided me in. What just happened? I studied his face as he made his way around the car and got into the driver’s side. He turned the engine on with a little smirk.
Oh my god. He was dangling sex in front of me like a carrot. That was it. He was going to wait for me to make the first move. It was like all the games we used to play, all the competitive little jokes we played on each other. Always in competition.
Well, I’d been freezing him out for a decade. I could control myself for one night.