Find Me in the Rain: Chapter 21
The dragon nudges my side again.
“Knock it off. Five more minutes.” I shoo the beast away with my hand.
It doesn’t leave. Instead, it nudges me again. And when I ignore it, it speaks to me in a whispered tone. “Mom, can I lie with you?”
Wow, the dragon sounds a lot like …
Oh my God!
My eyes smack open, revealing a blurry little Jack standing at the edge of my bed.
His eyes keep flashing behind me, and I don’t understand until my body recognizes the feel of a warm arm draped over my waist.
Alec.
I wiggle out from under his heavy arm and push myself up onto my elbow. How in the hell am I going to explain this?
“Hi, buddy.” My voice is hoarse and broken from my deep sleep.
He raises his hand and points to Alec. “Does he live here now?”
My eyes widen. “No, honey, of course not. It was just really late last night, and I didn’t want him to drive home.”
Jack crawls up into bed and nestles into my arms. “Can he live here?”
My eyebrows furrow, and with my brain just waking up, my words fall irregularly from my lips. “Wh-why would you want that?”
He rolls over, looking into my eyes. “I like him. And he likes my room. It’d be cool.”
This is way too much to deal with the second I wake up. I glance at my phone and tap it with my finger. It’s six thirty a.m.
Good God, where does this boy get his sleep schedule?
A deep groan sounds behind us, and I can’t suppress the giggle in time. Alec hooks his arm around me again, tugging me against his firm chest, pulling Jack with him.
I wonder if he would want to go with us today to see Mom. It’s been a long time, and she isn’t exactly her best self right now.
Alec is shifting a lot behind me. I’ve got a good guess he’s not sleeping anymore from the growing pressure on my butt.
I clear my throat to get his attention. He sits up on his elbows, and his eyes bulge at seeing Jack.
“Good morning, guys.” His voice is thick and raspy.
Jack, full of energy, bursts up. “Good morning, Alec! Can we play with cars today?”
I’m starting to think he didn’t come in here to lie with me.
Alec’s gaze falls to me before he answers, “Of course. It depends on what your mom has planned though.”
Jack’s puppy-dog eyes are in full force as he jumps on top of me. “Please, Mom!”
I run my hand over his fine brown hair. “You know we see Grandma on Sundays, Jack. Have you decided if you want to go visit her today?”
“Can I play with cars instead?” He looks up to Alec, and it’s an image I thought I would never see.
“Jack, if you don’t want to go, you have to stay here with Josh or Char. I’m sure you could play with your cars.” I begin to sit up. Jack is reminding me of just how full my bladder is right about now.
“Alec, do you wanna stay and play?” Jack’s eyes are locked and loaded right on Alec.
Alec doesn’t hesitate. “I thought I would go with your mom to see your grandma today. How about we play later tonight? If that’s okay?” He turns to me for permission.
That sense of peace I found last night grabs hold a little tighter with his words.
I lift my hand and rest it on top of his. “That would be amazing.”
He adjusts his fingers, giving my hand a little squeeze. “What time are we leaving?”
“We can head there anytime after eight.”
He sticks his arms high in the air, stretching. “Can we swing by my place, so I can change?”
“Yeah, of course,” I respond while running a hand through my hair—ugh, my greasy hair. “Would you mind hanging with Jack while I shower?”
I bite my lip, hoping it isn’t too much to ask. I know he said he wants to be here, but it’s still new.
He smiles, exposing that damn dimple. Winking at me, he says, “I would love to.” He turns his attention to Jack. “What do you say we take a peek at that car collection of yours?”
Jack’s eyes sparkle at Alec’s request. “Really?!”
Alec chuckles. “Yeah, really.”
Jack shoots off the bed and sprints out of my room. Alec is laughing, enjoying his ability to bring that little boy so much happiness.
Alec slides over, filling my back with his warmness. “You sure you don’t need my help in that shower?” His fingers trail over my side.
My body is tingling, begging me to give in. But that’s not the proper parenting move, especially when your son doesn’t even know that’s his dad.
I have no idea how to even broach that with Jack. I push the thought out of my head. That is way too much to dissect right now.
With the small thread of willpower I have left, I throw the comforter off and make a beeline to the en suite, hastily shutting the door behind me. I go straight for the shower, turning the water on.
I hear Alec laughing uncontrollably.
He shouts over the noise, “Next time, I’m helping!”
It goes quiet after that. I imagine he has gone to find Jack.
“Ahh, me time,” I whisper to myself. I step into the hot shower, ready to feel refreshed.
After showering, I get dressed, opting for a casual dress. It’s a short-sleeved sage-green V-neck with little white flowers all over it. I quickly blow-dry my hair and run my straightener through it, deciding to skip makeup.
After cleaning up my little bathroom mess, I head out of the bathroom to find Alec and Jack. Walking through my bedroom, I’m a little shocked that my ears aren’t being flooded with giggling boys.
I step into the hallway but still no sound.
What the hell?
I take a tentative step onto the stairs, shouting below, “Hello? Jack? Alec? Josh?”
Nothing.
Mom panic begins kicking in, speeding my descent off the stairs. “Jack, where are you?”
When I step off the stairs and into the living room, my eyes begin assessing everything, checking to see if anything is out of place. I scan the rest of the living room, passing over the kitchen. Then, I look down the hallway toward the front door.
My breath hitches. The door is wide open.
My feet are moving me before I realize it, taking off for the opening. “Jack! Where are—”
Two bodies jump out of the coat closet, barreling into me. Jack’s shaggy brown hair catches my eye.
I’m going to kill them.
Jack bursts into laughter. “Gotcha, Mom!”
He immediately turns to Alec, eyes twinkling. Alec shuts the front door, barely containing his laughter. These boys are going to be the death of me.
My expression hasn’t changed, still frozen with fear that something worse was happening.
Alec straightens up, running his hands up my arms. “Come on, Lu. It was a prank. Everything’s okay.”
I take a deep breath in, calming my racing heart. “I know, you jerk. It was just one you should never pull on a mom!” I smack his shoulder.
And when he smiles again, I’m unable to resist my own from taking over.
Wait, we’re still missing a person.
“Where’s Josh?”
Footsteps behind me grab my attention.
“Right here.” He has his hand in the air. “I was told to stay in my room until you screamed.” He laughs, walking up and throwing his arm over my shoulders. “You two heading out?”
A sigh leaves my lips without a thought. I love seeing my mom, but I don’t love seeing her in a hospital bed.
I step out of Josh’s grasp and grab my coat. “Yeah, we’d better go. I don’t want to be gone too long. There’s so much laundry calling my name.” I bend down and kiss the top of Jack’s head. “I love you, buddy. I’ll be home soon.”
Alec opens the door for me, gesturing for me to walk through. Once he shuts the door behind him, he wraps his hand around mine. “You ready?”
I raise my eyebrows at him. “Are you? It’s a lot to take in.”
His lips tilt up in a half-smile. “I’ll be okay, promise.”
I offer a reassuring smile. “Okay. Thanks for coming with me, Alec.”
He opens the car door for me. “Of course, Lu. I do have practice at seven tonight, but I am yours every moment until then.” He chuckles. “And after too.” He winks.
I settle into my driver’s seat, and he walks around, getting in the passenger side. The drive to the hospital is pretty quiet. I don’t have anything to talk about, and he doesn’t try to force conversation.
When we pull into the parking lot, it begins to rain.
Alec looks outside. “Great, even though I’m sure you’re happy about it.”
I smile at him, shocked he remembers. Rain has always been calming to me. I like to think that it’s the universe crying, that even the universe can be so overwhelmed that it needs to let it out.
But most of all, I love the feeling of the raindrops hitting my skin. It’s so refreshing, and it makes me feel at peace.
And when I step out of the car, that’s exactly what I feel. And maybe exactly what I need before this.
Alec takes my hand the second he can, letting me guide him through the hospital that I now know like the back of my hand.
When we approach my mom’s room, I turn to him and take a deep breath. Here we go.
I let him walk in first, just gauging his reaction. I look for fear or pity at all the machines hooked to her. I find neither, only sadness for the woman he once knew.
I follow him in, taking the seat I always do. I pull my chair up to the edge of the bed, wrapping her hand in mine.
“Hey, Mom. I brought a visitor today.” My words catch in my throat.
She looks worse today. Her cheekbones seem to be more prominent.
“I know you remember Alec.”
He rests his clasped hands on the bed next to her, focusing his attention on her face. “Hey, Mrs. Young. You raised an incredible woman, and you would be so proud of the boy she has raised.” His eyes flicker down to his hands. “I’m sure you are pretty upset with me, and we have a lot to catch up on. But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, and I plan on explaining it all to you when you wake up.”
I can’t remember how long it’s been since I last fully cried. I know there is so much pent-up emotion inside me. If there was ever going to be a breaking moment, it would be now. But it won’t break free.
Alec and I sit and talk with my mom for about an hour. He tells her all about hockey and about the first time he met Jack. She would’ve laughed—I know it.
I fill her in on the marketing opportunity I got. I should be starting sometime this coming week.
When we stand up to leave, I bend down and give her a kiss on the cheek.
I pat Alec’s chest, ready to head out, but he steps toward her and leans in, whispering something in her ear. He kisses her forehead and then turns to me. Without a word, he takes my hand and leads me out of the room and out the way we came. With no mention of what he said. And I don’t ask.
We stop at the grocery store to grab stuff for dinner. I’m going to make this garlic zucchini ramen dish I found online earlier.
When we pull into the driveway, I’m ready to get some comfy PJs on and start cooking for everyone.
Alec turns the knob on the front door, but before he can get it fully open, Josh fills the doorway with a look of terror on his face.
He runs his hands down his face, and my stomach drops.
“I’m sorry, Laura. He was asking questions that were completely natural for a little boy. Like where babies come from, how it happens, whatever. Long story short, we got done with the conversation, and he tells me he’s going to go play cars upstairs.” Josh’s hands are waving dramatically. “Then, when he comes back down, he has a couple pictures in his hand, and … oh God, Laura, I’m sorry. I know it wasn’t my place. But when he asked me, I couldn’t lie to him, you know? Please don’t hate me.”
I grab his face in my hands. “Josh, what the hell are you talking about?”
Alec steps next to me. His voice is shaky as he demands, “Josh, spit it out!”
“He found your shoebox in the closet, the one from high school. He recognized you and Alec in the pictures. He knows, Laura. He knows.”