Fake Out (Fake Boyfriend Book 1)

“You sure it’s okay if we go out?” Maddox asks me on the way to the car.

Am I that transparent? No, I don’t want to go drinking with his friends. The deal was two nights with his parents and a wedding. “It’s fine,” I lie. “But are you ready to take this act public?”

“We won’t have to worry about that tonight.”

When we get to the bar, there are two guys outside waiting for us. Maddox rushes over to the dark-haired one and pushes him, hard. When the guy pushes back, Maddox gets him in a headlock.

“Okay, okay, you win,” the guy says. “Don’t mess the hair.”

“And here we thought Maddy was the gay one,” the other quips.

Maddox lets his friend go and turns to me. “Damon, come meet two of my best friends from high school. Will”—he points to the one he tackled and then the other guy who’s a redhead—“Jared, this is my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend?” Jared asks.

Will laughs.

“Yes, boyfriend. Like”—he lifts his hands and uses air quotes—“‘boyfriend.’”

“Thought you were serious for a second there,” Jared says.

“Wait, they know?” I ask. That’ll make things easier.

“You can blame these two,” Maddox says. “They’re the ones who gave me the idea.”

“You know, we tried to convince everyone after you left that you were messing around and it wasn’t true. You know what we were told?” Will asks. “That we were being unsupportive bigots.”

“So, who are you really?” Jared asks me.

“You know my friend Stacy,” Maddox says and then his face lights up. “Jared, you really know her. You remember when you came to visit me at school?”

“Oooh, that Stacy,” Jared says with a stupid grin on his face.

My eyes narrow. “You slept with my little sister?”

Jared’s pupils dilate to impossible size. “Oh, shit. Umm, no?”

“I’d love to see my boyfriend beat you senseless,” Maddox says.

“Me too,” Will says.

“Uh, umm … well …”

My glaring makes him uncomfortable? Good.

Maddox pulls on my arm. “Don’t make me tell Stacy you’re going all crazy older brother for her. You know she’ll hate it.”

“Do it and I’ll tell her everyone back home calls you Maddy,” I say.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Oh, I would.”

“Shit.”

“Well, you’ve got the fake couple banter thing straight. Pun intended,” Will says. He turns on his heel, and we follow him inside the dive bar called Rusty’s. It’s a complete hole in the wall.

Maddox buys the first round, and we pile into a booth with ripped vinyl seats and the weird smell of stale beer.

“So, who else is excited for tomorrow?” Will asks sarcastically.

I snigger and turn to Maddox. “When was the last time you saw Chastity?”

“Please, this shithead hasn’t been back since he was ‘outed,’” Will says.

“Lies,” Maddox says. “I’ve been back.”

“For a day or two here and there. Just enough time for word to spread, and then you rush back to New York,” Jared says.

“Aww, you guys miss me. I understand. Living without my awesomeness must be tough.”

It’s easy to see why Maddox gets along with my sister. They’re both easygoing, sarcastic … and full of themselves.

“Actually,” Jared says, “since you left, the EPA says we have the freshest air in all of the US. Your ego was suffocating.”

Maddox leans back in his seat. “Let’s just say you two are lucky I’m gay this weekend. Otherwise, you’d have no chance of hooking up.”

I almost choke on my beer, and Maddox pats my back as I cough and splutter. When I glare at him, his eyes glimmer in amusement, and it makes him look adorable.

No. Not adorable. Nope. Not even a little bit. Don’t go there, idiot.

“Speaking of hooking up,” Jared says and tips his head toward the door of the bar.

Three girls in tight clothing glance around as they enter, and their eyes zero in on us.

“Looks like one of us misses out,” Will says.

Maddox laughs. “Pretty sure Damon’s okay with that.”

“Oh, so you’re actually …” Jared says. “I thought—uh, never mind. How the hell did Maddox get you to agree to this?”

“He’s bribing me. I’m a sports agent and he’s getting me a meeting with a possible client.”

“Oh, his brother-in-law?” Will asks.

I cock my eyebrow at Maddox, but he changes the subject. Guess the hockey player might be real after all.

“One of them will miss out.” He nods toward the girls who’ve strategically picked a booth in our line of sight. “I’m not looking for a hookup.”

“We’re on it,” Jared says, and he and Will leave us to go talk to the girls.

“You can go over there if you want,” I say. “Wouldn’t be the first time I got ditched by guys looking for pussy. You remember I was part of a baseball team, right?”

“Apart from breaking bro-code, it’s not smart for me to hook up with a girl here. You’re forgetting how small this place is. Driving from my parents’ place to here, you basically saw the whole town.”

“Bro-code?” I ask.

“Bros before hos. You’re here because of me. I’m not gonna ditch you.”

Damn. His asshole level keeps dropping, and I have to remind myself why I’m here in the first place. He lied to his high school girlfriend about being gay, which makes him an ass, plain and simple.

He also has a fine ass.

Damn it. I shouldn’t have checked it out on the way in here, but it was hard not to.

No, Damon. Do not check out your straight, fake boyfriend.

“Want another drink?” Maddox asks.

“Definitely.”

“We can leave if you want. We didn’t have to come out.”

“It’s cool. Your friends are great. I was worried they’d be dicks.”

“Because I’m one?” Maddox asks incredulously.

“Maybe.” It’s more like straight guys make me edgy, but I don’t want to get into that with Maddox.

“Challenge accepted. I’m gonna have to work harder at proving to you I’m a decent guy.”

This should be fun.

***

At one in the morning, my feet don’t want to cooperate as we stumble into Maddox’s parents’ house. We’re both tipsy, but he seems more in control of his motor functions than I am. Maddox bought me round after round, trying to prove that makes him a good guy. Don’t know how it worked, but it did. That guy is awesome. And hot.

No, not hot. Maybe I’m more than tipsy.

Jared ended up driving us home in Maddox’s rental car, and then Will picked up Jared. They spent half the night trying to get laid instead of drinking. They both struck out, but it was fun to watch and bet on the outcome. Although, I owe Maddox twenty bucks now. I thought for sure Will would’ve hooked one of them.

“So, Maddy, huh?” I joke as we head up to bed. I try not to stare at Maddox’s ass two steps ahead of me. When I give in, I stumble and almost fall flat on my face on the stairs. I right myself and keep talking as if I didn’t nearly crash land to the ground. “I like Irish better.”

Maddox appears to miss my contortionist act of trying to stay upright. “Irish isn’t a good nickname in this household. All of us would respond. Well, except Mom.”

“Point taken.”

“But if you tell Stacy everyone calls me Maddy, I may have to kill you, Dik.”

As soon as we reach our bedroom, I’m aware of him and every step he takes. I turn my back and try to ignore the urge to check him out when the sound of his belt buckle echoes in my ear.

“It doesn’t have to be weird,” Maddox says, and clothes hit the ground with a soft thump.

“It’s not weird.” My voice cracks and I force myself to clear my throat. “Okay, it’s a little weird.” I stare at him over my shoulder and try to smile, but holy shit, the guy has abs. Quickly, I look away again.

He’s straight. He’s straight. He’s straight.

He hates baseball. He hates baseball. He hates baseball.

I take off my shoes and socks, drop my jeans to the floor, and climb into bed next to him, making sure I face the opposite direction.

“I’m sorry,” Maddox says.

“Seriously, stop apologizing. I signed up for this. You didn’t sign up for sharing a bed with your gay boyfriend, so it’s probably best if I face this way.”

“I know this is weird, and I don’t know why you think I’m some close-minded asshole, but I honestly don’t have issues with you sleeping next to me. And without sounding totally sleazy here, you can get comfortable, and I won’t care.”

“You know what a lot of guys say when they find out you’re gay?” My voice is quiet, and I still refuse to face him.

“I have an idea, yeah. I broke up with Chastity a week before leaving for college. That’s a week of small-town opinions being shoved down my throat.”

“Nah, I’m not talking about the full-on homophobes. I’m talking about the guys who act like they’re totally okay with it, and then throw in a ‘so long as you promise to never hit on me.’ I got it a lot in college. Locker rooms were a nightmare. My eyes stayed firmly on the ground, because God forbid someone thinks you’re checking them out while they’re naked.”

“Are you saying you never check out straight guys?”

I let out a sad laugh. “You check out girls on the street and in clubs? It’s human nature. But when it comes to these types of situations where clothes are … minimal, rest assured, the majority of us won’t stare, okay?”

“Okay. I get it, but I want you to know I won’t freak out if you look.”

I smile.

“Night, Dik.”

“Night, Irish.”

***

After a long night of putting up with Maddox snoring, moaning, and talking in his sleep, I wake up alone. I also wake up late. It’s ten a.m. according to the bedside clock. In my defense, sleeping next to a hot guy who’s moaning is impossible. At one point, I contemplated jerking off in the bathroom to make me pass out but decided against it. I don’t want to be that guy—jerking off to straight guy moans in his parents’ bathroom. That’s sadder than I ever want to be.

And yet, you were so close to doing it. Again. Like when Eric—

My conscience likes to remind me of how pathetic I’ve been in the past, and I’m not going to make the same mistakes with Maddox that I did with Eric. No fucking way.

The smell of coffee wafts up the stairs when I make my way down to find Maddox. I watch him move about the kitchen, cooking bacon and eggs and moving from the stove to the coffee pot and back again with ease. Typical country boy—he knows how to cook. And damn, that’s hot too.

Stop it.

“Morning,” I say, my voice gruff.

He startles. “Shit. Didn’t hear you come down.” He continues to rush around the kitchen and never once makes eye contact. Maddox slides a cup of coffee in front of me before he’s on the move again, grabbing plates and popping bread in the toaster.

“Thanks,” I say and lift the coffee to my mouth. “Where are your folks?”

“Grocery shopping. They wanted us to go out for breakfast, but I didn’t want to wake you.”

“You should’ve. Isn’t it part of my job to spend time with your family?”

“Nah, you’ll spend more than enough time with them this weekend.”

Still no eye contact. Not even when he places a plate with hash browns, bacon, and eggs in front of me. Poached.

“Thought you were a sunny-side-up type of guy?” I ask.

“Anything for my boyfriend.” Even though his voice is light, it sounds forced.

“This is really good,” I say with a mouthful of food.

“Thanks,” he mumbles.

Why do I get the feeling I’ve done something wrong?