Fake It ‘Til You Break It

“Thought that last one was perfect,” Trent says as we step inside the locker room after practice.

He’s right, he threw a bomber, a hell of a pass.

I slowed my game and let the fuckin’ thing drop.

I shouldn’t have come back for practice today.

Opening my locker, I ignore him, set my helmet inside, and start unclipping my shoulder pads, bending to shimmy them off.

Hands grip the edge of my gear, and I jerk away, tugging them over my head completely.

I glare, moving to work on the belt of my practice pants.

“This how it’s gonna be, man?” Trent throws his locker open, dropping his helmet inside. “Not gonna talk to me, don’t want my help, purposely drop passes?”

When I don’t respond, he dares, “Maybe I’ll have to throw to Hammons more—”

When my head snaps his way, he closes his mouth, looking away as he unclips his own shit.

“I shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbles a moment later.

I grab my bag, leaving my pants open, shirt off, and cleats on. I slam my locker closed before getting in his face.

“You shouldn’t have fucked Demi either,” I hiss, shoving his ass into the metal as I pass him.

The second I step into the fresh air, my shoulders fall and I head for my truck.

I throw my shit in the back and drop against the seat.

I fuckin’ hate fighting with Trent. It’s rare we argue, and when we do, it’s over stupid shit we can laugh about later, but this is different.

I know it’s not fair for me to be pissed about something from years ago when I’ve spent the last few dating Josie or hooking up with other people, but I am anyway.

The thing is, if he’d have told me this then, I might not have her now.

Do I have her now?

I pushed her away, but she tried not to let me. She tried to keep me there, and I walked off regardless.

Just like I did with Trent years ago.

After my dad left my mom, I dropped all my friends and stopped conversing with adults I knew.

My mom was miserable, and I was partially to blame for it, so I told myself I was supposed to be unhappy and alone, too, but Trent refused to go.

He fought me, literally a time or two, when I’d try my hardest to get him to back off, but no matter how shitty I was, he never would.

He knew I was bleeding on the inside and he was too good of a friend to walk away, and he has been ever since.

His sleeping with Demi doesn’t change that, but it fuckin’ sucks and I can’t stand thinking about it.

I can’t help but believe it’ll always be right there when I look at him or her, or them together, the image of him with her.

A thought hits, and I call someone I’d never expect to.

She answers on the first ring.

“Nic?”

“Hey, Krista. You still at practice?”

“No, I just walked in my house, hang on.” There’s a light shuffle, and the sound of a door closing before she asks, “Are you okay?”

I scoff, and her soft laughter floats through the line.

“Yeah, I had a rough night, too,” she admits. “I feel better now though, always do after I talk to Trent. I take it you haven’t yet?”

“Nah, not yet.”

“Demi?” she asks.

I scoff a light laugh. “Does gettin’ my shit handed to me count?”

“When it’s coming from Demi, I say yes,” she jokes. “She doesn’t lose her cool all that often…only when something means enough for her to. Or someone.”

“Yeah, I hear you.” I lick my lips, my eyes closing. “Is it weird?” I rush out before I change my mind.

She knows exactly what I’m asking. “Not anymore, but it was. Sometimes it was pretty bad, if I’m honest, and I’d get super insecure. She had already given him what I wasn’t ready to, so I felt pressure, but as soon as Trent realized it, he went out of his way to change it.”

“Does it make you jealous, when they talk, or do you get mad or curious when they’re alone?”

She’s quiet a long moment before she says, “I don’t, but is that what worries you the most? The possibility that she could want him again?” She pauses. “Because if it is, Nic, I think you might want to take a second to consider how she must feel about the girls you’ve been with. That was her first time and two years ago. Who was the last person you were with and how long ago was that?”

Fuck man, she’s right.

She saw me with Sandra, knows I left Josie because I was cheated on, and I told her about Miranda, then she was forced to watch me dancing with her.

“Nic?”

I clear my throat. “Yeah.”

“I didn’t say any of that to take away from what’s happened. Trent should have told you a long time ago, and if not that, then Demi should have before you two started dating. It wasn’t fair how they went about it, and I’m sorry you found out how you did.”

I nod, sighing into the line.

“Now, tell me the truth, how much of an asshole were you?”

I laugh and she follows.

“Talk to them, Nic. If you’re hurting, they are, too. That sucks for everyone.”

“Thanks, Krista.”

I hang up, take a deep breath and drive home.

I head straight for the shower when I get inside, but my mom’s soft hums has me poking my head back out and walking to her room.

Concern pulls at my gut when I find her on the floor, surrounded by papers, a loopy smile on her face.

I drop beside her. “Ma?”

“Nikoli,” she rasps, her palm coming up to slide down my cheek. “You’re home.”

“What is all this, Ma?”

Her hand falls, and she looks to the mess. “He’s promised to take care of us.”

I pull back, slowly pushing to my feet. “What’d you do, Ma?”

“Your father. He came with papers from lawyers, had everything ready for me, wasn’t that nice of him?”

“No.”

Tears fill her eyes and she smiles weakly. “He’s letting us come live with him. Isn’t that great? We’ll be a family again.”

“Please, no.” I run my hands down my face and get back on my mom’s level. “Tell me you didn’t give him the house? Tell me you didn’t sign anything without me here?”

She tilts her head. “You know he only comes to see me when you’re gone.”

“Fuck!” I start pacing the room. “He screwed you, I know it.”

“No, no… he loves me, Nico. He’ll take care of us.”

I shake my head. “Like he’s been taking care of us, Ma? He steals from you, and keeps you so doped up you don’t even realize it.”

She looks to the wedding ring she refuses to take off. “He’s good to me, makes sure I have the medicine I need.”

“You aren’t sick!” I yell. “Not in the way he’s made you believe.” I drop beside her, grabbing her hands gently. “Ma, you lost your husband, and it broke you. You’re sad, depressed, and that’s okay. I get it, I swear. I tried to find someone to help you, remember? But you only wanted him, and he used that to control you.”

“You’re wrong. He cares. He pays our bills.”

“With your money,” I stress gently. “And now you probably just gave him control of everything.”

“It’ll all be okay, son,” she whispers, her eyes growing tired, whatever fucking cocktail he cooked up for her when he was here obviously kicking in. “He promised me.”

I glare at her, having so much more to say, but unable to let the words out.

She’s fucked up, he’s in her head, and she doesn’t want to know the truth.

What’s she gonna do when I’m gone next year?

I wasn’t sure how I’d leave before, but I really can’t get out of here if she has no place to go.

That’s got to be why he’s doing this.

Her head tilts up a little, and she smiles at me.

I swallow my sigh, moving forward to scoop her in my arms, and gently place her on the bed.

She pats my cheek, her eyes already closed. “My sweet, sweet boy, I love you so much.”

My chest grows tight.

I want to shake her, hug her, her to hug me back, instead I look down at her from the bedside.

“Love you, Ma,” I whisper, but she doesn’t hear me.

She’s already knocked out.

I turn off her light and bypass the shower, stumbling my way down the stairs, and out the back door.

Before I realize what I’m doing or where I’m going, I’m already shoving open the gate connecting Demi’s yard to mine.

I spot her instantly through the large window, little and perfect and not quite mine.

She’s in her kitchen, pulling something down from the cupboard when her head snaps my way, her eyes locking on mine through the glass.

She takes me in, still half dressed in my gear, and worry clouds her eyes.

I need you, baby.

She rushes for the sliding door, pushing it open right as I reach it.

“Neek—”

I cut her off by slamming my mouth into hers.

Her lips tighten a moment, but she gives in the very next, letting me take what I want from her.

What I need from her.

Every little bit she’ll allow and more.

Her arms wrap around me as I scoop her up and walk us backward toward the stairs, kicking my cleats off as I step.

I drop her on top of the small table near the foot of the stairs so I can kiss her better, dive deeper into her mouth, and then she tears away, dropping her head back as she gasps for air.

I let my lips fall down her jawline and to her neck, where I suck gently.

Her little hands slide up my back, her fingers spanning out against me, pulling me in.

She’s so welcoming, so ready to give—and she doesn’t even question us despite everything—that it’s overwhelming and my head falls to her shoulder.

I grip her hips, squeezing slightly.

Her hands loosen, one making a lazy path up and down my back, while the other slides past my cheek, and across my fade. She lightly brushes her fingers in repetitive, soothing movements.

I lift my head, locking eyes with her perfect green ones.

Words aren’t needed, she can see as I can, the hurt we caused each other. The unnecessary pain we didn’t have to deliver and can and will move past.

She’s mine and I’m hers and that’s what matters here.

I’m standing here with fucked emotions and a weighted mind.

I need her and no kind of fight would be changing that fact.

Demi knows and slowly raises her hands over her head.

I lick my lips, tug her to the edge and meet the skin of her waist with my fingertips.

I don’t take my eyes off her as I trail them up purposely, torturously, slow.

Her deep breaths quickly switch to short pants, her face giving the illusion of pain, when it’s need coursing through her every vein and all I’ve done is run my knuckles along her ribs.

When I get to her bra line, I lean forward, and her lips part. I lift her shirt so it’s blocking her face, stealing her sight as I blow warm air across her breastbone, smirking when goosebumps rise in response.

She loses some patience, and helps the thin cotton over her head, tossing it to the side.

Her palms land on my chest, and she drags them down, then back over my pecs before leaning in. Thick, warm lips press against my skin, and my hand shoots up to close around the back of her neck.

Her eyes pop up, the emerald within them hardly visible she’s so stirred up, and she slips her fingertips into the band of my boxers.

Her eyes fall, tracking her own movement as she pushes my practice pants to my thighs, then brings her feet up to help them the rest of the way down until they’ve fallen to my ankles. I kick them somewhere behind me.

Her greedy hands quickly slide across the front of my boxers, cupping my dick with a light squeeze causing me to flex in her grasp.

I groan, slide my palms around her ass, and lift her again, her legs quickly latching on.

I spin us, carefully climbing the stairs with her in my arms while she lets go to unlatch her bra and tosses it aside.

A raspy giggle leaves her when I stop dead, hitting her back against the wall with an urgency I’ve never felt as I quickly bring my hands up to feel her better.

I bring my mouth to her skin, wrapping my lips over her nipple and tugging until it pops free.

My eyes snap to hers. “Mine.”

“Yours,” she moans, grinding against me and I apply pressure with my hips.

She slips her hands between us, pushing my boxers down and I pull back, forcing her to watch me as she does it.

That has her slowing her movements, but still, she keeps going.

I let her legs fall, but she keeps her back plastered to the wall, not dropping her eyes as we push my boxers down together.

My dick springs free between us, the head brushing where her jeans end at her waistline, getting the tiniest taste of the feel of her skin, and my thighs clench.

“I’ve thought of this,” she admits with a breathy whisper, her untried senses on full fire. “Imagined it.”

“Me too, baby. More than I’ll admit.” I move in again, but she has other ideas.

She nudges me away gently, and takes backward steps down the hall, unbuttoning her jeans as she goes.

She’s eager, it’s easy to see, but she pulls at her restraint, and when her eyes fall from mine, it’s in a slow savoring appraisal. One I’m guessing she’s in favor of, if the way her steps falter when her eyes meet my hard and ready cock for the first time tells me anything.

Her chest inflates as she halts altogether, hips swiveling as she works those tight ass jeans all the way down, now standing in nothing but a deep blue thong.

Her hand comes up to grip the doorframe closest to her, and with her head angled toward me, her body twists, giving me a full, straight on, side view of all ass.

“Fuck, D,” I groan, and I rush toward her.

She laughs and quickly disappears behind the door.

I fucking follow.

She’s leaning against the wall just inside, a smile on her face, her tongue sitting between her teeth, waiting for me.

I lick my lips, slowly walking toward her, and damn if a deep flush doesn’t creep up and across her skin with my advance.

We’re in her room now, so it’s getting more real by the second.

I’m about to have her, take her.

Fuckin’ claim her.

I slide my palms down her chest, feathering my fingers across her hard nipples only to slide them back up and cup her breasts fully. I massage them gently, before dropping my lips to Demi’s.

She inhales deeply, her mouth perfectly in sync with mine.

“You got a shower in here?”

She nods.

“Take one with me.”

There’s no hesitation from her as she links my hand with hers, pulling me along and into the closed door at the left side of her room.

She lets go, spinning to turn it on and reaching out to feel the water.

I step against her, her bare ass lined up perfectly with my dick.

She gasps when I slide it against her, my arm raises and I trail my fingers along her raised one until I can intertwine our fingers again.

I bring both our hands down, wrapping them around her middle and she pushes into me, her head falling back to my shoulder.

My free hand comes around, gripping the side of her face and turning it to mine.

I kiss her, deep and full, and she melts into me, spinning in my arms and pressing her near naked body into mine.

My hands skim across her panty line and she pulls her lips free.

Her heart beats wildly against me, those hazy, utterly aroused, eyes locking with mine. “Take them off, Neek.”

“Not yet,” I rasp. “I need to feel how bad you want me first.”

Her gaze darkens and she squirms, but her center pushes in closer, ready for me.

I slide my fingers inside the material and trail them down until the center meets my skin. Instantly they freeze there, the proof of how ready and wanting she is right there for me to touch.

She’s soaked.

“Bad,” she moans, delivering the answer I’ve just discovered.

“So fuckin’ bad, right baby?” I hook my fingers in the sides and step back, my eyes on her as I drop to my knees, slowly sliding her underwear down her legs.

Her head tilts forward slightly, so she’s looking at me down the bridge of her nose, waiting to see what I want to do next.

So many things, baby.

I reach over, tapping the edge of the shower.

She knows what I want.

She lifts her leg, placing her foot flat against it and I scoot in.

Her scent hits me first and I groan, squeezing her thigh as my hand glides up and across to her ass cheek. I lean in, blowing slow, warm breaths across her center and her hands fly to my head.

“I didn’t shave today, baby.” I lick my lips, and hers fall open. “You wanted to feel my stubble on your inner thigh, yeah?”

Her eyes blacken and she nods.

I glide my chin along the apex of her thighs, and her muscles tense, even more when I allow it to lightly brush her clit as I pull back.

“You want my mouth on you, D?” I rasp, squeezing her ass cheek.

“I want all of you,” she whispers.

I’m struck immobile.

I stare up at her, Demi Davenport, stripped bare, stimulated, her eyes open and on me. For me.

Wanting me.

I slip my hand farther into her ass crack and tug her to me, my mouth clamping around her throbbing clit instantly.

I groan at the taste of her, my chest rumbling and her heavy moan fills the room. Her grip on me tightens.

I roll my tongue as I suck her into my mouth and her legs start to spasm, her whimpers growing longer, deeper, and when her legs try to close on my head, I pull away, shooting to my feet and smashing my lips into hers.

She tries to protest, but when I slip my finger inside her, she dives her tongue into my mouth, fighting for the orgasm I just denied her, but I pull away again.

This time a low, angry groan leaves her, and I smirk.

I climb into the shower, lifting her in with me and spin her to the wall, closing us inside.

She tries to sneak her hand between us, but I catch it, pinning it back with my own.

“I need to get clean for you, baby. I just got outta practice.”

“I don’t care.”

I fight a grin, grinding into her, my eyes flying across her face as she moans. “I do.”

She pouts but then raises a brow as she reaches to the side blindly grabbing a bottle of soap. She squirts some in her hands and lets the bottle fall to the floor.

She trails her hands over my shoulders, gently nudging me back as she washes my body. She hurries through my top half, but when she reaches my abdomen, she slows, teasing along my skin until she’s gliding across my dick.

Her eyes shoot up to mine as she wraps her soapy hand around it. She starts pumping me, her other hand sliding behind my balls and gently massaging.

I drop my forehead to hers, pushing into her hand more.

Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as I grow stiffer in her grasp, and she pumps quicker, her hold tighter as my muscles clench.

I tear away from her, letting the water run over me for a quick second then I rush her.

She laughs when I practically toss her in the air to get her body as high as I need her. Her legs latching around me, her ankles locked tight at my back and I spin us under the spray while keeping our heads out of it.

Her features soften and she pulls her body in, pressing her chest tight against mine. She eyes me, then drops her lips to mine, kissing me with deep, erotic strokes of her tongue. She shifts her lower half, aligning the head of my dick with her entrance.

She releases my lips, opening her eyes to look at me as she pushes her ass into my hands, and the tip is suddenly wrapped in her wet, warm flesh.

“You on birth control?”

Her grip tightens and she nods. “We’re good.”

Fuck, yes.

“It might hurt more like this,” I tell her, sliding my lips across hers. “You’re wide open for me, baby.”

She pushes more and at first I keep my grip, when her pupils expand, I let up, let her body slide down my shaft until her pussy has swallowed me whole.

She gulps, tugging me close, her pussy clenching around me as I grow even harder inside her.

I pull her ass in, lightly pumping my hips in and out of her and she nods.

I moan, catching her lips with mine again and her hands start roaming, trailing across every inch of me she can reach.

I push inside, grinding against her.

“Oh, fuck,” I gasp, my eyes closing.

The feel of her is unreal, silky and tight. Fucking burning.

“Neek?”

“Hmm?” I kiss her neck, her throat, pulling and pushing back in as her nails dig into my back.

She pants. “I want you in my bed.”

I groan, shove in deeper only to pull out and set her on her feet.

I quickly shut off the shower and step out. I reach for the stack of towels, but then Demi is in front of me, kissing me again and then she hops up, so I let them fall and instead carry her straight to her bed.

I set her down, but she doesn’t let me go, so I crawl with her as she scoots up to her pillows, and lies back.

Her legs hook my thighs, pulling me close and I’m back inside her in seconds.

A shudder runs through me and she squeezes my dick within her walls.

I hold still, and our eyes meet. “Tell me what you want, so I can give it to you.” I make a slow circle and she squirms, fighting for more, but I grip her hips, holding them still. “You want me to fuck you good, baby? Make you come?”

I quickly dip to scrape my teeth along her nipple and a ripple of excitement shoots through her. “Oh god.”

I flex inside her and her eyes widen with need. “How bad do you need to come, D?”

I pull back, until only my tip is left inside her, and then slowly drive back in.

She whimpers, her nails finding my ass, a sexy little warning glare filling her eyes. “I’m pretty sure I can come just feeling you like this, but if you want to earn it, you better move, ‘cause I’m ready. Ready for you. For this.” She licks her lips, a heavy need blanketing her features as she rasps, “Give me all of you, Neek. Now.”

A shiver runs along my spine and I don’t hesitate.

I pump in and out, faster and faster and her knees draw back, her head diving into the pillow.

I lean down, kissing across her collarbone and she starts to shake. I pull one of her legs in, holding it against my ribs and tilt my hips, giving her a deeper, fuller angle and her back flies off the bed, a loud, airy and unrestrained moan filling her room.

“God, damn, baby.”

With long, slow blinks, her eyes hit mine before they close completely, her hips pushing into mine before her entire body twitches and she grips me, attempting to keep me still so she can ride it out, but I grind harder, push deeper and then my toes curl and I come with her, both of us shaking and sweating and holding on tight.

After a few minutes, her feet slide across the mattress, her body growing limp.

I climb off and go to stand but she shakes her head, so I drop down again.

Her hand comes up to brush my hair from my face and she smiles, the first sign of any shyness I’ve seen tonight.

“Don’t go getting nervous on me now,” I rasp, reaching out to run my knuckle over the edge of her breast, sliding it back and forth across her nipple, grinning as it plumps up.

“I’m not nervous.”

Our eyes meet. “No?”

She shakes her head, scooting closer, and leaning over so I have to fall on my back to stare up at her.

Her wet hair falls onto my chest, so I wrap it in my hand, laying it behind her.

“What are you then, Pixie?”

The crimson on her cheeks spreads a little more. “Okay maybe a little nervous,” she admits, and both of us chuckle.

Her hands trail along my abs and she tilts her head. “Why do you call me Pixie?”

“Because that’s what you’ve always been to me, and you were right, it’s got nothing to do with your height, baby, but what I see. How I felt when I’d look at you, which was often.”

I bring my hand up, my stare following as I glide the pads of my fingers across her collarbone.

“My little Pixie,” I whisper, my lip twitching when she shudders. “An elusive, unattainable creature. Can hardly see it. Can’t possibly catch it.” My eyes snap to hers. “Could never keep it.”

Her forehead wrinkles, her eyes flying between mine as my hand falls to my side.

She twists, now lying on her side, facing me, and pulls her blanket over us both. Demi slips her hand in mine, folding it between us. “That’s how you felt about me before, but what about now… after everything, and now that you know what you didn’t before?”

“Now I’m keeping you even if you try to leave.”

She laughs lightly, her eyes roaming mine before shame fills them. “I’m so sorry, I should have told you. I should have thought to.”

It stings, but the reality is I’d never walk away from her, and she doesn’t deserve to have guilt over something she did years ago, having no idea it would tear me apart then. I run my knuckle across her jaw. “I think you would have, if we started differently.”

She’s hesitant as she asks, “What you said to Trent, about wanting me before he had me. Why did you say that?”

“Because it’s true. I’ve wanted you for years, Demi. Years.”

“I never knew.”

“I know, but you do now.”

She smiles, looking away. “My mom brought me a pill today.” It takes a moment, but she glances back. “I was stressed, exhausted and couldn’t focus after everything. She knew I was off.”

Unease stirs in my gut as I wait for her to say more.

“For the first time, I gave it back,” she whispers. “I told her if she tried to give them to me again, I’d move in with my dad.”

Warmth and affliction spread through my gut for so many reasons, one because Demi was strong enough to stand up to her mom, and the other because my mom can’t seem to stand up for herself.

She leans over, pressing her lips to mine in a slow, promising kiss. “Stay, Nico.”

“That doesn’t sound like a question.”

“That’s because it’s not.” She tucks into me, a smile ghosting her lips. “Now, close your eyes before I change my mind,” she teases with a yawn, sinking farther into her mattress.

I don’t say a word.

I close my fuckin’ eyes.