FULL NOVELXO Dr. Brandt: Chapter 18
Being called in for Jonah Williams’ emergency surgery was not what I’d expected when I woke up this morning. Calling the time of death on a patient is something we are trained to separate ourselves from emotionally. I dealt with the loss of patients in numerous ways, mainly by moving on to the next. Focusing on death never helped the next patient in my line of work, and I had to focus on the next patient because the reality that a child was gone would be too painful otherwise.
Dr. Novant requested my assistance in an urgent situation once he realized his surgery was not going as expected. This didn’t happen often, but we knew there was a seventy percent chance young Jonah wouldn’t survive this surgery, which was a contributing factor to why I disagreed with Dr. Novant’s decision to move forward. However, despite my opinion, Dr. Novant was confident about the procedure, as were the medical teams.
A good surgeon shouldn’t have considered surgery as their first or second answer. This case was different from most, though, and I understood why Dr. Novant wanted to go in and remove the malignant tumor. The patient’s life expectancy was not good, and surgery was the answer to hopefully giving the young boy a chance at life. It crushed me that there were no other options because I knew we would find them if we took the time to look.
Jonah’s parents would’ve agreed with me, but their journey to get to this point had been burdensome, and I knew they were running swiftly out of options. So, considering the boy’s family and, more importantly, reviewing the findings in Jonah’s MRIs and scans, I understood why Novant cut. It’s also why he pulled me to the side and requested I be on standby in case the surgery got away from him.
Through our protocols at St. John’s, I was placed on standby, so if the worst-case scenario happened, I’d be called in to assist, hoping for a miracle. But now, here I was, seven hours after calling the time of death, thinking about how precious and fragile our lives were. I could say that Jonah was no longer suffering, and no one would know that was true more than his parents. But that wouldn’t take away the pain of his loss. Nothing would ever take it away. And nothing I could say would bring any relief or comfort to his family. The loss of a child would never be anything but tragic.
When my sister died, I saw what it did to my parents. My parents stayed together, but they were completely disconnected. My father dove into his work, building an empire that threatened to put Mitchell and Associates out of business, and my mother self-medicated. They managed to keep up appearances in their social circles, but their grief hung heavy in our home until the day they died.
I got into this line of work to do what I could to keep families away from experiencing that level of anguish. I didn’t want anyone to know what it was like to feel like they were drowning in despair, but, to my greatest disappointment, I couldn’t save everyone.
I sat in this empty operating room, thinking about my son and how he was suffering from the same epileptic condition that took my sister.
I had to help Jacks, even if only because he’d inherited his genetic disorder from my family. There was so much more to it than that, though. Time was of the essence. I was taking risks by allowing the decision-making process to drag on and on, and Jackson didn’t have that kind of time. His brain was nearing its maturity, and if I disconnected his left hemisphere, the right might not learn to adapt and take over the left’s functions.
“The fuck are you doing in this OR, man?” I heard Jake Mitchell say. He was most likely hunting down my ass for a favor. “Hey, I need a favor.”
A smile spread across my face, wondering if I should’ve changed careers and become a mind reader.
“Shocker,” I said, looking up from the swivel chair where I sat alone in this room. “What do you need?”
Jake looked around the room and then back to me. “Everything okay? Seriously, what are you doing in here?”
“It’s where I come to think sometimes. It’s quiet,” I said. “And yes, I’m fine. Just going over some things in my head about an emergency surgery today. I lost a young one, and I’m just determining what more could’ve been done and what could’ve been done differently. You know the drill.”
“I know that drill all too well.” He crossed the room and pulled himself onto the OR table, sitting across from me. “It’s good to get that shit out of your head. You know, sometimes it can also be good for your sanity to bounce some of it off a brilliant doctor like me,” he teased. “Tell me, how the fuck did you lose a patient in surgery? I thought you were going to meet with the success story kid and your kid. I didn’t know you had surgery.”
“Long story, but I was on standby for Novant’s surgical case today. The patient’s odds weren’t great, to begin with, but they were even worse not going in.”
“Hardest cases, man,” he said, “How’s Novant handling it?”
“Not sure. I bounced out of there after the surgery. I was hoping I could get ahold of Jessa and see how it went with her and her boy today.”
“Your boy,” Jake teased, obviously still attached to my big ideas about winning back my ex and being more than a biological father to my son. “Or has that changed?”
“Nothing’s changed,” I said. “I guess I’m just a bit more focused on the kid right now than my selfish desires.”
“That’s a good thing, but something tells me that will pass once you get past your loss from today,” he said.
“It could,” I smiled, “which is never a bad thing. I’d give anything to have another chance with this woman; not too sure I’m deserving of it, though.”
“It’s the humble mindset that will get you the girl, that’s for fucking sure,” he said. “Why don’t you bring her and the kid to Monterey with all of us this weekend?”
“I’m not in the mood to load them up into a private jet with a bunch of strange billionaire besties to go whale watching and shit. Besides, I’m not in the mood to have her fiancé join the festivities.”
“Then don’t invite his ass,” Jake said with a laugh. “And, for the record, I’m not strange. The others, well, you’re not wrong about them.”
“Jake,” I tried to lower my voice, hoping to end this conversation politely, “I’m sure you remember that Billionaires’ Club bullshit you idiots were labeled with before you settled down and got married?”
“How could I forget? The highlight of my youth,” he said with a roll of his eyes.
“Let’s just say that Jessa has always been the toughest on my spoiled ass, so proposing we join the rich kids previously known as the Billionaires’ Club on their private jet will mean I will never hear the end of it.” Jake laughed. “What the hell are you hunting me down for anyway? What do you need?”
“I have a patient who I recently performed open-heart surgery on,” he said. “Anyway, the dude’s a pilot, and he gives flying lessons and shit. So, I was rounding up the boys to see if you all wanted to join in and get some lessons.”
“Huh? Dude, you know I have my pilot’s license,” I laughed. “And why the fuck are you trying to round up the gang for flying lessons? You suddenly run out of money and need to go in for a group discount?”
He grinned. “If I wanted the discount, I’d have you teach my ass how to fly,” he said. “It’s just to change things up a little, you know. Hey, it could help with that fatherly bond you’ve been yearning for?”
“Jake, I know we haven’t talked much since I drunkenly proclaimed that I would win back the girl and become the father of the year, but there’s too much going for him medically to fuck around with shit like that.”
“Don’t say I didn’t try,” he said.
I couldn’t help but wonder why Jake came searching for me. He could’ve texted me if he wanted to ask me to take some adult Chuck E. Cheese adventure in flying, but he didn’t. And none of us ever had time to go hunting each other down at this hospital, so what the fuck was going on?
“That’s not why you’re here. Why are you in pediatrics, man?”
“No reason, really. I had to sign off on some charts after being on call. I wondered where your stupid ass was, and when someone mentioned you were in a dark, empty operating room, I thought it best to check on you. And I was right. You look like shit. I’m glad that some color and life is returning to your handsome, boyish face, though,” he said, sliding off the table. “Think about going up to Monterey. I think it might be a neat trip for your boy, at least. You know what it’s like, being in a strange town with no friends, facing a life-changing surgery?”
“Yeah, I don’t know what that’s like,” I answered.
“My point exactly. Bring the kid and your girl, even the fiancé, and let us judge if you’re a good candidate to take on fatherhood as you suggest.”
“I’ll let you know.” I just wanted out of this conversation. “Jess and her son met with Lisa this morning, and I need to see how that worked out.”
“And just like that,” he snapped his fingers, “the lights come on, the doctor is in, and my work here is done. Good luck in getting that surgery scheduled, my man.”
Jake practically skipped out of the room, leaving me standing there and shaking my head. Now that my head was out of the clouds and I was grounded, I knew exactly why Jake was here. Word spreads quickly when you lose a patient and even faster when you go MIA. If it weren’t Jake, who was free when he got word I’d lost a patient, Collin would’ve been in here with some pointless conversation, trying to get me to stop replaying the surgery over and over.
I had to give the man some credit, though. He managed to snap me out of it.
Now, I needed to focus on the next patient, and that was my boy. He needed this surgery, and I wanted to know what Jessa and Jackson thought of their visit with Lisa. Were they on track to make a decision, or were we going to load up in Jim Mitchell’s private jet and set off to Monterey to watch whales and shit?