Don’t Cry Baby

He stands on my porch, arms folded across his chest, the veins on his forehead pulsing furiously. His blue eyes darken as he looks at me, pupils growing in size. His hair is disheveled he must have been running his hands through it a lot, he does this when he is extremely angry. His shirt is wrinkled and ripped as if he found it in the bottom of his hamper and just threw it on. He looks so angry, angry and tired. He glares at me, his eyes red with rage.

I hesitate before walking towards him, i am standing on lower ground forcing him to look down at me. this makes me feel like a child being scolded by their parent. I should be scolded this time, i deserve whatever he has planned for me. This time I am in the wrong. It will certainly crush him when he finds out how I was feeling only moments ago with someone else. How my lips are chapped and raw from kissing another man. I can still feel his arms wrapped around me, the smell of Damien lingering in my nose. I shiver and wrap my hands around myself while looking down at my feet.

"Ashley, are you going to answer me or not?" More tears break freely from my green eyes as I here the severity of his anger in his voice. I pull my lip in between my teeth and bite down hard enough to rip through the skin.

"I..I was with Damien." I say it barely above a whisper, without even looking up as I spoke the words that felt like acid in my throat. My lip quivers, my body once again sends shivers down my spine in nervous anticipation of what is surely to come. I hear him walk towards me, my breath catches in my throat and I force myself to keep my eyes planted firmly at my feet. His rough hands grab my chin and pull my face up so that my eyes meet his. I flinch away from him wishing that I was still safely in the comfort of Damien's arms. I loathe myself for wishing this. tears blur my vision and my now bleeding lip begins to quiver. "What did you say bitch!" He snaps at me and the tone of his voice makes me jump. His eyes wide and bloodshot with rage. His grips my chin once more causing me to whimper. He doesn't even sound like himself anymore. i try to back away and he moves his hand to grip the back of my neck. His vice like grip keeps me from moving even an inch away from him.

"i was with Damien again...something happened." His eyes widen even more, if that is even possible, he pulls me back my neck towards the door of the house and forcibly pushes me inside. Once inside he kicks the door shut, as the door slams he throws me to the ground in front of him. My knees slam hard against the wooden floor, I remain there on my knees looking at the ground. I feel so much shame, I don't even want to look at Ty.

"You little whore, what did you do, fuck him?" his voice is growing louder every time he speaks. He kicks me hard in the side causing me to scream. I crawl away as fast as I can while trying to hold my side. The pain is unbearable. I sob and plead him to stop.

"No Ty, we didn't do that. He kissed me, it was nothing." I speak with agony evident in my voice as tears continue to stream down my face. My throat tightens and I feel like I can't breathe. I continue to crawl away as far away form him as I can. he growls animalistically as I try to escape. I get as far as the kitchen behind the island. I lean back resting my back against the island and close my eyes. I try to slow my heart rate so that I can breathe normally again. I hear his footsteps and my whole body clenches waiting for him to make his next move.

"You deserve this Ashley, you deserve everything I am about to do to you." he rounds the corner and steps into the kitchen looking down at me. He grins but, this time the grin has no boyish charm left in it. It is completely full of malice and fury. Feeling no ounce of dignity left, I crawl to him, stopping at his feet while looking up.

"baby, I know I messed up this time but please stop I am so sorry. Don't hurt me..please" I grab hold of his leg, he shakes his head and kicks me off.

"Don't touch me after touching him." I back away from him but he manages to kick me hard in the stomach. I fall back and slide into the island hitting my head hard enough my vision blurs, I can make out his lips moving but my ears are ringing so bad I can't hear what he is saying. My eyes feel heavy as I watch him come towards me. I let them fall, I let sleep take over. Anything is better then watching him kill me.

I wake up in a hospital, I am not sure how long it has been. I scan the room with my eyes unable to move as pain shoots through my body every time I try.

"Oh good, you're awake." I hear his voice and a chill instantly goes up my spine I turn and look at him, the man that put me in this hospital bed. I resist the urge to press the call button and have a nurse take him out. I feel tears threatening to fall, they burn my eyes and I clench them shut to keep them from falling. His hand reaches out and brushes a hair behind my ear. I flinch as he does this, just as I am about to ask this man why he is here, a doctor comes in.

"Hey Ashley, I'm glad you're finally awake. Your boyfriend here brought you in and hasn't left your side. He says you had a pretty nasty fall down the stairs. Your injuries seem consistent with a fall. I would just like to confirm this with you, is there anything you remember that might have been left out at all. Did you slip on anything on top of the stairs maybe?" I look over at Ty and I see the look in his eyes, the look that says I better keep up with his lie. I begin to nod nervously and try to form a smile for the doctor.

"Yes, I fell down the stairs, I should probably be more careful." Ty let's out a chuckle and the doctor smiles. He seems young to be a doctor which leads me to believe he's most likely a med student. He seems like the kind of guy who was popular in school just by the way he walks around. Head held high; shoulders pushed back as he stands tall. I guess that could also be because he's a fricken doctor.

Once the doc leaves, after telling me I have to stay in the hospital a few days to monitor my concussion, Ty grabs my hand and I turn to look at him.

"I felt so bad leaving you there baby doll, not my finest moment I am so sorry. I never should have done any of that even if you kissed someone else. We should have talked about it together. I fucked up; I am a terrible boyfriend." I squeeze his hand and then let go. I look into the palms of my hands tracing the lines and creases with my eyes.

He lets out an impatient sigh and then begins to breathe slowly. I silently hear him counting under his breath, something his therapist used to tell him to do if he was frustrated by one of his triggers. I look over and see just how tired he looks. Bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, dark circles under the beautiful blues. I reach out and brush my thumb across the darkened circle, he shudders and closes his eyes grabbing my handing and holding it on his cheek.

"I'm so sorry, I need to try harder Ashley. I will try harder." A tear falls freely down his face and my heart aches. I pull him in and hug him close.

I know it's stupid, I know he probably doesn't deserve my forgiveness but he's been my best friend and the love of my life for so long I couldn't even imagine it any other way at this point. We can fix him, and we can fix us together. He holds me tight but not too tight, so he doesn't hurt my bruises.

"I was so scared when you weren't waking up, you've been in the hospital for almost a day." I stare at him eyes wide.

"Wait oh my god, have you called my parents?" He nods and grabs hold of me again.

"It's fine I called them don't worry." He climbs into the hospital bed with me and kisses my forehead.

**

I lay alone in my bedroom after getting home from the hospital. I can hear my parents moving around in the kitchen cooking supper. They were not pleased that I had Ty over when they were gone, and they were less impressed that I wound up in the hospital on top of it all.

I stare blankly at my violet wall. The darkness doing weird this with my eyes. Swirls dance around my vision and I close them. The doctor said I could go back to school tomorrow which will be a lot better then sitting at home in this room staring at this wall for hours. I'm just not excited to see Damien again. He hasn't talked to me since I walked out in him.

I feel my eyes slowly begin to drift closed as the pain medication takes over, as I drift off a pair of amber eyes are the only thing I can see.

**

I walk in the halls of the school. White walls, cream floor and posters everywhere. I look down at my converse hitting the ground as I walk. Biting my lip each step I go, hoping I don't run into Damien. Of course, most of my classes are with him. I walk inside the English room with Mr.Jekyll and notice two thinks. 1.Damien is not in his usual seat. 2. He's staring at me as I walk in from the back of the room. When he notices I'm looking back he looks down and slides lower into his seat. I grimace and walk straight towards my seat on the right by the window. Mr.Jekyll smiles at me as I take my seat and I sheepishly smile back. He leans against his big mahogany desk covered in papers and books staring out towards the class with his arms crossed. Being a grade 11 teacher is probably a lot to deal with. If I was gonna be a teacher I would pick a younger class. He runs a hand through his balding hair and turns around ready to get started on today's lesson.

"So class we're gonna start our book study this class. This year we're reading "To Kill A Mockingbird." I grin excitedly, this is my favorite part of English, studying a beautiful piece of literature like this book, it will be so fun. Mr.Jekyll walks around passing out old tattered copies of "To Kill A Mockingbird".

"Now who knows what the book is about? And don't say a Mockingbird." Mr.Jekyll rolls his eyes with a grin. I raise my hand hopefully I get called on.

"Damien?" Damnit, I slump down in my uncomfortably hard orange chair.

"It's about acceptance, or lack there of."

"Very good Damien you're on the right track." Damn that was a really good answer. Mr.Jekyll continues to talk about due dates and what chapters we have to read tonight. I don't pay much attention at all. I'll have this book finished way faster then the deadline. It's another book I've read more then once and loved every time.

I love how the writer chose to write it in a child's point of view so that the knowledge wasn't as broad, and she could touch on a bunch of different elements.

"Miss. Walters." I look up blushing a deep crimson as I see all eyes on me including Mr.Jekyll.

"Uh..yes Mr.Jekyll."

"You're wanted at the office sweetie." I nod and sheepishly walk to the door with my books and papers. I left my study notes at Damien's. I don't know how I'm getting those back now that he's not even sitting near me. I trudge slowly to the office wondering why they would possibly want me there. I'm so confused until I see him leaning against the wall smiling his boyish grin at me. I shoot him a confused look and he winks at me; I walk into the office to the big front desk to speak to the woman standing there.

"Miss. Walters, hi your uncle has excused you from the rest of the day." I try to hide my surprised expression and smile nodding at her before turning around to frown at Ty. I walk out of the office and towards Ty he wraps his arm around my shoulder, and we walk together outside of the school.

"Oh my god how did you get them to believe you, you're a terrible liar." He chuckles.

"I turn on my charm and those old ladies couldn't resist." He wriggles his eyebrows and I roll my eyes.

"What are you jealous." He winks and I punch him straight in the arm and instantly regret it as pain shoots down my ribs. I bite my lip and close my eyes. Ty places a light kiss on the top of my head

"Ow, don't worry baby doll they got nothing on you." He checks to make sure we're far enough from the office window that they won't see, and he gives me a kiss on the lips. His soft lips fit so nicely against mine. He pulls away and smiles before taking my hand and walking me towards his car. It's a cute little red Kia Rio. The seats are black leather and heat up, I'm perpetually cold so his heated seats are heavenly. The dash is black with silver words and red lights. He turns the dial so the radio can be heard better and takes my hand. His car has a push start, so it starts up with ease and he's pulling out of the small parking lot of my school and barreling down the hill and into town.

"Where are we going?" I look towards him waiting for the answer, he looks his lips.

"Not telling, it's a secret." He keeps driving all the way through town and I'm so confused the entire way.

"You're taking me to the lookout aren't you." He nods and grins knowing the lookout is one of my favourite places. Not just because that's where people go to have sex but because the view of the whole town is beautiful, and the trees up there are giant. They're probably the tallest trees we have in our whole town. I sit back and relax enjoying the soft melodies coming from the radio speakers.

It's only a 20-minute drive and we're finally pulling into the lookout. It's completely empty, the grass is a beautiful dark green. The trees almost look larger as I step out of the car. I walk towards the bench they have just close enough to the edge that when you sit on it it's the perfect spot to view everything for as far as the eye can see. Ty walks over and kisses my forehead before sitting down beside me on the bench. He puts his arm around my shoulders, and we sit back relaxing enjoying each others company and the view. It's different being here with him alone after what happened. It feels different being with him, like there's a barrier between us. I know it's me holding back, I know it's my fear keeping me distant from him after what he did to me. He loves me I know he loves me he just let his anger get the best of him. He let it go to far. Hell do better, he'll fix himself and then we can be happy again.

"Penny for your thoughts baby doll." I look over into his beautiful blue eyes. You know I stare into these eyes all the time and I've never notice the darker blue ring around the lighter blue or the green flecks that dance around the iris causing an almost sea green colour. His eyes truly amaze me, they can be so fiery and full of fury and so loving.

I put my hand against his cheek feeling his stubble graze the soft delicate skin of my palm. I lean in and brush my lips against his softly. He kisses back, it starts out soft but deepens with longing and almost pain. He pulls me into his lap and stands up walking towards his car, never breaking the kiss. He opens the car door and lays me down across the back seat. He opens my legs and slides down on top caressing my cheek and leaving little kisses down my neck. His stubble scrapes my skin leaving its own trail. He takes the shorts I'm wearing off my body slowly and gently leaving me bare from the waist down apart from my white thong. Why I chose white today I do not know it's just one of the last pairs of underwear I had left in my drawer. He doesn't look displeased as he stares down at the almost see through pair of panties. He grins licking his lips causing my groin to clench. He rubs me through my panties, and I let out a soft moan.

"I'm gonna make you feel good baby, I'm gonna make up for the pain I put you through." I nod unable to speak as he still has two fingers rubbing me gently over my panties. Once he sees me nod, he lifts his fingers to his mouth pulls aside my panties with his other hand and plunges his two fingers into me. I arch my back letting out a moan as he pleasures me. Slowly he puts them in and out of me as he holds my thigh with the other hand. I groan wanting more of him, I groan with longing.

"You like that baby; do you want more." I nod with a whimper and he pulls his fingers out of me. My groan clenches in protest. I hear his zipper and grin; he pulls his already hard member from his pants and I lick my lips. This causes his member to visibly pulse and I grin. He rubs his tip against me. Using it to pleasure me, I moan and arch my back pulling my hips up. Wishing he would just thrust deep inside of me. "Do you want me baby." He looks down at me holding himself between my legs.

"Say it to me baby doll, tell me you want me." I close my eyes and open them up again.

"I want you, now." I speak breathlessly, it comes out in a moan. He grins and thrusts himself deep inside of me. I call out his name and he starts to move his body faster. Thrusting deep inside of me. His arms on either side of my head I grab hold of them squeezing them so hard I think my nails are jabbing into his skin. I groan as I can feel myself tipping over the edge. It comes fast and overpowering. I call out louder then I ever have. I lay back like all the life has been sucked out of me and try to catch my breath. He lays down on top of me cozying up with his head in the crook of my neck. Leaving kisses every few minutes. He nibbles my ear before sitting up.

"I should get you home baby doll or your parents will worry." I nod and smile he helps me up and finds my underwear and shorts. I pull them on and climb out of the car. He gives me one last peck on the lips before we climb into his car to drive home.

When we get home sitting on my doorstep is none other then Damien Edson and my heart drops as the hand in my visibly clenches. I let out a whimper and Ty notice my hand in his and let's go. He pulls into driveway noticing my parents aren't home and climbs out, walking swiftly towards Damien. Damien stands almost a foot taller than Ty, but Ty almost looks more menacing. I climb out of the car and race over towards both boys.

"What the fuck are you doing at my girlfriends house you little fuck!" I take a sharp intake of breath as I hear the acid laced in Ty's voice. Damien clenches his fists as Ty walks closer to him, they stand so close their noses touch.

"She forgot her notes at my place I came to give them back. You can step back and get out of my face." Ty laughs, although not with humor more like; more like that evil villain laugh. That's the only way I know how to describe it. It scared me and I stepped back.

"You don't tell me what to do bud, now get off my girlfriends front porch and walk the fuck home." Damien drops my notes and pushes past Ty hitting him on the shoulder, he glances at me with a hurt expression before walking off towards his block. Damien doesn't live far from me; he should be okay walking. Ty turns around fury still evident in his eyes.

"Did you know that he would be hear."

"No, I had no idea." Ty visibly relaxes and picks up my notes.

"Huh the bastard really was telling the truth. I still don't like him." He walks over and grabs my arm pulling me and my notes inside the house.

"You know you could have been nicer to him; he was just bringing me my work." Ty whips around and comes forward. His face inches from mine.

"Are you defending him." I shake my head and smile taking Ty's hand. Ty relaxes and we walk up towards my room. I sit down at my desk with my notes and Ty lays down on the bed.

"You know you should probably get going my parents will be home soon and your car is in the driveway." Ty nods and walks towards me giving me a soft peck on the forehead. I smile at him as he turns around and leaves my room. The tears begin to fall as soon as he's out of my sight. The way he treated Damien; the way Damien looked at me. I hate it, I want them both, but I don't want Damien to get hurt. I can't have him hurt just because of me.☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐☐