FULL NOVELXO Devoted: Chapter 32
“No. And I never will. This is a means to an end. I’m marrying Romano Capri’s daughter. You are the one who owns my heart.”
My chest hurts, but I’m too angry to acknowledge it. If I really did own his heart, like he does mine, he wouldn’t be doing this to us.
“I don’t own it, though, do I?” Pulling the robe snug around me, I step back out of his embrace.
He drops his arms limply, a frown growing on his face. “What do you mean?”
“If I did, would you be letting me go? You’d stay, you’d fight for me. So, no, Luca, your heart can’t belong to me.”
He tilts his head to the side, letting his dark hair fall over his eyes. “But it does.”
“Well, I don’t want it,” I spit back.
I regret the words the moment they come out of my mouth as I watch his face flash with hurt.
His green eyes pierce me, and he chews on his lower lip. “You don’t mean that.”
My fists clench. I don’t know who I’m mad at right now. Whether it’s him for stealing my heart, the world for taking him away, or myself for being so damn naïve.
“Was I just a joke to you? Did you and your friends sit there laughing about you getting to sleep with poor, broken Rosa? Your enemy’s daughter.”
“Are you fucking joking me?” His face reddens and I take a step back.
His eyes darken. “I spent days holding you while you threw up all over my goddamn floor. I cuddled you while you screamed in your sleep. I was so worried sick I stayed awake for days–days, Rosa–just watching to make sure you didn’t die on me. You know me well enough to know I would never think you are a joke.” He shakes his head. “Un-fucking-believable.”
“I clearly don’t know you, not really. You asked me to stay. You let me fall in love with you.” My stomach rolls like it’s threatening to revolt. “How long did you know you couldn’t keep me?”
“It doesn’t matter. A few days. I don’t even know now. They threatened Darcy. What the hell else am I supposed to do?” He throws his arms up in the air. My fingers lace around my throat as I watch him start to fall apart.
“I-I don’t know, Luca,” my voice starts to break. He laces his fingers behind his head as he searches the ceiling for a moment before lowering his gaze back to me.
“Do you seriously believe this was all a lie? That I don’t truly love you?” His chest heaves as he takes a deep breath. “Because I do, Rosa. I love you so much it hurts. This is the last thing I ever wanted to happen. I even bought a goddamn house in Greece for us to go to. I wanted it all with you.” The muscles in his arms flex as he crosses them over his broad chest.
He loves me. He just told me he loves me, and I want to burst into tears. “How else did you seriously expect this to go? Did you want me to go and sit like a good little mafia princess and wait for her prince to come back to her?” I’m sick of being on the end of everyone else’s stupid decisions in this hell of a life in the mafia.
He rubs his beard. “I-I–”
“No. You don’t know. I get it, you have to save your family. You don’t have me to worry about. I’m sure I’ll survive. I did before. I know how to cope.”
His face pales as he takes in the meaning behind my words.
“Rosa, no. Don’t go back there, promise me.”
“How can I promise anything? Clearly, I have no control over my own life. Everyone has choices to make, right? You made yours, but didn’t care how it affected me.”
He rubs his hands over his face. “Fuck, Rosa. I’m so sorry.”
His face is twisted in pain, which just shatters my heart even further. It would be so much easier to be mad at him if he were a thoughtless asshole. But he’s not. He’s hurting, too.
There’s a knock at the door and my stomach sinks. “I’m going right now?”
He just stares at me, tears brimming his bloodshot eyes. He slowly nods.
This is really it.
It just hurts so much knowing he’s fighting for the right reasons, but I’m not one of them. I never wanted this to end. I stupidly thought I could be happy for once.
Luca was my happy place. I’ll never forget what he has done for me, so for that, I wipe away a tear and step into him, hugging my arms around his waist.
He pauses before his arms envelop me, and he pulls me even tighter against him. I inhale his manly scent for the last time.
“I’m sorry for snapping at you. I will always be grateful to you for saving me. I shouldn’t have said that,” I whisper.
A fresh wave of tears threatens, but I won’t break down. Not until I’m on my own again.
“I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry for breaking us. I’m going to miss you so fucking much, tesoro.”
I nod against him. I fear if I speak, I will shatter.
“You’re taking my heart with you, okay?”
I feel the words rumble from his chest, and I wish I could meld myself with him and remain living in this moment. This is the first place I’ve ever felt home. The first time I’ve experienced love.
When I leave here, I will be leaving my heart here with him, too.