FULL NOVELXO Desire or Defense: Chapter 29
“IT’S GONNA BE OKAY, ANDIE.” Noah consoles me. I should be the mature person here. The one telling him it’s going to be okay. But it’s Monday morning and I still haven’t heard back from Mitch. I’ve tried calling and texting. Nothing.
“I know. You’re right,” I tell my brother with the best smile I can muster. He arches an eyebrow, obviously unconvinced. I continue packing his lunch for school and he heads toward the front stoop where he waits for me in the mornings when it’s not too cold. He and Dad used to sit there together in the mornings while Dad drank his coffee.
I manage to drop Noah off at school and make it back home, my brain is in such a thick fog, I barely remember the drive there and back. Thank goodness for muscle memory. I head straight toward the home gym, knowing I’ll feel more clear-headed after a good workout.
Starting with pull-ups, I add my band for assistance. My arm strength isn’t as good as my leg strength, but my goal is to do pull-ups unassisted soon. I wonder how many Mitch can do with those big arms? I groan. Stop thinking about Mitch!
When I’m done with a set of pull-ups, I move on to Arnold presses. Halfway through my set, I hear my doorbell ring. I throw my weights down and rush to the door, hoping Mitch will be there. Even though I know he’s in Canada and has a game tonight.
I swing open the door and find Melanie there. I blink in surprise but she steps inside and pulls me into a hug. “Hey, I saw the article and got your address from the guys.”
I melt into her arms and return the embrace. It’s nice to be comforted by a friend. “I’m glad you came. Honestly, I’m going crazy.”
We pull back and I lead her into the kitchen. “You want coffee?”
“I’m okay,” she says, taking a seat on a bar stool. I sit beside her and she looks at me, her eyes full of concern. “The guys said Mitch is a mess.”
My eyes blur with tears. “He won’t talk to me.”
“Oh, Andie. I’m sorry.” She pauses. “Maybe he’s just overwhelmed and needs to clear his head?”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I know this isn’t my business, but he’s working on his temper, right?”
I nod.
“So, it makes sense that he’d allow himself time to think instead of lashing out at someone he loves.”
My heart does something funny when she says loves. It feels like it’s pumping extra fast and twisting at the same time. “Maybe. I just want to talk this out. It’s neither of our faults.”
“It’s not. The media can be brutal.” Her eyebrows go up when she says it. “West’s reputation before we got together was less than stellar.”
“Really?” I ask, feeling surprised. They just seem so perfect, it’s hard to picture either of them before they were engaged.
“Oh yeah.” She releases a small laugh, but there’s no humor in it. “When we started dating, an article came out about how I was his newest bed warmer… well, that’s putting it nicely. It was humiliating.”
“I bet. That sucks.” I grimace. “I know what that blog said about me and Mitch is bogus, but it surprised me. Like, I just wasn’t expecting to be in the public eye so soon, and in such a negative way.”
Melanie pats my arm gently and I continue. “But I’m already falling for Mitch. Hard. I know we can get through this stupid gossip. But he has to talk to me! He has to communicate for this to work.”
“Definitely,” she agrees. “In a way, it’s good you got initiated into this life early on. To see if you can handle the gossip and the mean comments. And it sounds like you can.” She smiles warmly, then her expressions grows more serious. “But you’re right, he has to talk things out with you. This is probably overstepping, and just tell me to shut up if it is, but I think you’re going to have to be patient with him on this while he figures out how to be a good partner while also controlling that temper of his.”
I take a deep breath. “You’re right, I do need to be patient with him. He’s never had anyone show him what a healthy relationship looks like.”
“Love conquers all, right?”
“Let’s hope so.”
Monday evening, we walk inside the ice rink for hockey practice. I’ve been dreading this all day, as has Noah, I’m sure. I feel so bad for him, he must be so humiliated. And the idea that Mitch only worked with him for my sake, when in reality, Noah got Mitch’s attention with his own hard work and talent. I hate this for him.
Noah heads straight to the locker room to change and I reluctantly walk inside the rink to find a seat on the bleachers. I bundled up even more today, like if I cover myself I’ll somehow be invisible. I have a scarf, my beanie, knit gloves, a big coat, and furry boots. The realization hits me that I look ridiculous and am actually drawing more attention to myself and not less.
As anticipated, everyone looks up and stares at me when I walk in. Steph is literally standing there by the doors with her arms crossed like she’s been waiting for me. She looks pretty pleased with herself.
Knowing she loves drama and is probably hoping that I’ll confront her, I ignore her instead. Be the bigger person, Andie. That’s what Mom would’ve told me.
I keep my chin up, but don’t make eye contact with her. But she can’t leave well enough alone.
Her teasing voice grinds in my ears. “What, no Mitch Anderson here to protect you today? I wonder why.”
I turn to face her. “You know what, Steph? Attack me all you want. If your life’s so pitiful that you have to tear me down to feel better about yourself, then so be it. But don’t drag Noah into this. He didn’t do anything… other than being really stinking good at hockey.”
Her jaw drops as she stares at me. I don’t wait for whatever sneering retort she has, I turn and head toward the bleachers, sitting as far away from the other parents as I can. When the kids file onto the ice and practice starts, I feel a tap on my shoulder. I look over to see Tori, her dark eyes filled with sympathy. She wraps her arms around my shoulders. “Andie, I’m so sorry.” She sniffs and I hug her back.
She releases me but stays by my side. “I didn’t realize Steph was so conniving, I should’ve stood up for you right away. Right when she made those first comments about Noah overdramatizing Declan’s bullying. I’ve seen it happen right before my eyes, and to my own son too. But I didn’t want to cause drama, so I stayed quiet, and tried to keep the peace.”
“It’s okay, Tori. Really. It’s not your fault.”
She puts her hand up to stop me. “It’s not okay. You’re my friend, you’re a good person, a great sister to Noah. For months, I’ve watched you hustle your ass off, taking care of him, grieving, and working. No one, not one person, should have to take on that load alone. But you did, and you’ve done amazing. And when you needed a friend, someone to look out for you? I failed. But I won’t fail again. I’m here for you, okay?”
Tears are streaming down my face now. I couldn’t get them to stop even if I wanted to. I had no idea how much I needed someone to acknowledge how hard these past nine months have been, how exhausting… until now. Until someone did acknowledge it. And now, all of the pent-up emotion and sadness is pouring out. Tori pulls me into another long, motherly hug.
“Thank you, Tori,” I whisper into her shoulder.
At that moment, the doors to the rink burst open and Ronda waltzes in, still in her scrubs from working today. She locates me quickly, eyes blazing angrily, and walks toward me and Tori with long, urgent strides. Ronda sits beside me and wraps her arms around me. Well, crap. Now there’s no way I can hold my tears back anymore.
My shoulders shake with silent sobs and I sniffle into her winter coat. “Oh, sweetie,” she says, stroking my hair. “I came straight here after hearing about the article. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay.” My words are muffled by her coat.
“It’s not, but it will be.” she whispers.
I pull back, nodding my head. She keeps one arm around me and I lean my head on her shoulder. On my other side, Tori pats my hand that rests on the bleachers and I give her a sad smile.
Tori and Ronda sit beside me the rest of practice… and suddenly, I don’t feel so alone.