Desire for you- ALPHA RYAN Book 1

ILAY

The most beautiful place in the world... For me... was with Catherine and nowhere else. I had traveled a lot around the world, visited many countries and cultures. My home was in hell, yes, but what does home mean? Could a building be considered a home when it was practically empty? The only thing that kept me going all those years was Achira. She always told me that I would find my mate one day.

Yes, I did find her, but the circumstances were bad. I blamed myself for her jumping off the cliff because of me. No one else was to blame. I couldn't even blame Ryan, he knew how broken she was and tried to give her the time she needed.

And when I appeared, her world went to pieces.

I sighed and looked over at Julieth who was following me around like a lapdog.... Poor thing didn't know that tonight was her last night. I would make it short and sweet, she didn't deserve to suffer, she didn't deserve to die.

Still, this was the high price Ryan and I had to pay to wake Catherine up again.

Well, so be it.

I looked around, it was already four in the morning and it was still pitch dark, that was the advantage of winter time.

I walked on with her and teleported us inconspicuously into the forest where I had found Ryan. It was like a kind of transition, inconspicuous.

Julieth watched the area and glanced at me.

"We're going into the forest?" She asked, puzzled.

I nodded. "I told you I'd take you to the most beautiful place..." I said, smiling at her.

Every horror story began and ended in the forest. Julieth was like a little deer and her instincts could sense danger. She didn't say anything, however, but followed me obediently.

We strolled through the forest, you could hear the occasional bird chirping, otherwise it was quiet.

Ryan's scent caught my nose.

'Where are you?' I asked him.

'By the cliff in the forest, why?'

'Well, I've got Julieth with me, I'll finish this today.' I looked over at Julieth, who was unaware of her misfortune.

'There's really no other option?' Ryan asked me again.

I ran through all the options, but unfortunately, that was really the only one we had left.

'Unfortunately not... we have to go through this.... 'It would be good if you hide there and then help me get rid of her body' I said finally.

"Do you like nature?" I asked her, glancing over the side at her.

She nodded slightly 'Yes, I've always been attached to nature from a young age. My grandparents had a farm. I practically grew up there. They always tried to be a good support for me... They financed my studies..." She shrugged her shoulders, suddenly looking sad.

"The prices of old people's homes have gone up... I have to make sure she can stay there now..." she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair.

I looked at her and nodded regretfully. "Is there anything I can do to help you?" I asked her.

She shook her head with a smile "No, it's fine, it's nothing that can't be sorted out." she finally said.

I could read her thoughts. She wanted to get a part-time job alongside her studies to make everything possible for her grandmother. She was really kind-hearted, but her death was inevitable.

We finally arrived at the cliffs and we sat down at the edge. I looked out over the sea and could hear the waves crashing against the rocks. The waterfall opposite just looked mystical with the sunrise in the background.

"You know... this place reminds me of a friend of mine..." I began to tell Julieth, running my fingers through my hair.

I looked over at her and saw that she was suddenly overcome with sadness.

"She's in a coma..." I added, biting my lips.

"Oh... I'm sorry about that..." she said quietly, looking down into the water.

I shook my head "No, the thing is she just needs a donor..." I said shrugging my shoulders.

"Her condition is bad... She needs a heart." I added, looking down at my hands.

"She jumped off that cliff, she tried to take her own life and now we're here watching the spectacle of nature. The irony of life..." I said, laughing softly and shaking my head at the same time.

"That's really hard, Ilay... It must be bad for you." she said softly, grabbing my hand. Her hand felt warm, her skin as soft as a baby's.

I nodded slightly "Yes, it's very bad. Especially as I'm helpless and all the money in the world can't save her... It's an eternal wait until she wakes up and gets better..." I bit my lower lip and looked her in the eye.

Was it bad that Catherine wasn't conscious or was it worse to rip out this innocent soul's heart?

Her brown eyes looked at mine and she came closer to me. I let it happen and didn't move for the first time. Ryan was right. I was like a fearsome cobra that eyed its prey and attacked quickly.

I would make it short and painful like a cobra. I couldn't weaken. I had to do it for Catherine. This was my last chance at my mate.... What if I didn't do it? How would the story continue? The story whose happy ending I had been waiting for for over a thousand years... The story couldn't end with me losing Catherine forever.

I had to take a deep breath and before her lips landed on mine, I extended my claws and stabbed her in the chest. I heard her ribs crack from the pressure I applied to her chest.

Her eyes widened and she stopped in shock. She didn't move. She held her breath and grabbed my hand, which was inside her chest.

"I-Ilay..." she gasped and I gripped her heart tightly. It was still pounding in my hand.

Tack...tack...tack...

"I'm so sorry, Julieth..." I whispered softly and looked at her sadly. I had goose bumps all over my body and didn't know what else to say to her. "I had to do this..." I breathed out.

The warmth around her heart... the pounding... with one pull, her heart was out and the warmth was gone. Gone. Julieth was dead.

I exhaled and closed my eyes as her body slumped backwards onto the rock. Time stopped and everything around me went dark and gloomy.

I now had an innocent woman on my conscience... Forever...

My hand was covered in blood and I held her heart. I opened my eyes and looked over at Ryan, who had watched everything in silence.

"Damn," he whispered out, looking at the body of Julieth.

He slammed his fist against a tree trunk. "SHIT!" He shouted desperately, grabbing his hair. He paced back and forth, back and forth.

He was probably only now realizing the gravity of the situation.

"We had to do it..." I breathed softly and looked at the heart in my hand, which had stopped beating. It was over. The worst of it was over, now we just had to get to Dimitri.

Ryan shook his head "This is all your fault Ilay..."

I was starting to get angry. Neither of us knew that Catherine was about to throw herself to her death. We had both discussed the consequences of trying to look for a solution to save her.

This was the consequence. Julieth was dead.

"We'd had the shitty conversation, Ryan and we agreed." I said, glaring at him coldly.

"She's dead now, we can only move on, there's nothing else to do. Otherwise it would have been for nothing."

I didn't want to stir up any more unrest than was already widespread. We had to stick together now. Even if it wasn't the best thing in the world. It was our only option, we had no other.

I took Julieth's body over my shoulder and pressed the heart into Ryan's hands.

"We still have to finish this... She deserved better than to be thrown off the cliff." I said, remembering how Catherine had jumped.

I started walking with Ryan and we both headed to the cemetery. We had a little way to walk but I didn't mind. I needed to clear my head a little. Julieth's body didn't make it any easier for me. It was lifeless...

Ryan kept huffing and puffing and holding the heart with both hands as if someone was going to take it away from him.

Finally we arrived at the cemetery. I gently laid her body on the ground and began to scoop out the earth with a shovel that was lying around. The thought of having to bury her... With her heart ripped out. This was definitely not what she deserved. Her dreams and everything she wanted were gone... Gone.

I plunged my shovel angrily into the earth, angry at myself.

Angry at my selfish side, just because I wanted this one woman back with me.

It was too late to regret it now anyway, Julieth was dead.

After I had dug her grave deep enough, Ryan had fetched a coffin from the main building of the cemetery and put her in there. We put her coffin in the grave and shoveled everything up.

After everything was finished, we both stared at the grave and neither of us said a word.

I couldn't stand it here any longer. We had to leave. I looked at Ryan, "It's time to get out of here." We were both covered in dirt and we felt as dirty as we looked.

Ryan just nodded and held the heart in his hands again.

I teleported us to the pack house and we went straight to the basement and put the heart in a freezer.

"I'm going to wash up now and need to sleep for the first time. I can't think straight right now..." Ryan said, staring at the red box.

I nodded slightly "Likewise..."

"Now do you want to stay here or are you going back?" Ryan finally asked me.

I laughed softly and shook my head, "I'll see you later, I have to go back to check on Achira." After all, he had inflicted a massive wound on her.

He nodded "Well then, see you later."

He disappeared up the stairs with those words and had taken the cooler with him.

I teleported back home and headed straight for the bathroom.

I took off my clothes and stood in the shower. The water ran out scalding hot and I scrubbed my whole body. Although demons were known for being freezing cold and murderous, I was one of the few exceptions.

I showered off, still feeling horrible about what I had done. I grabbed the bath towel that was hanging on the hook and dried my body with it. I put the towel around my hips and then finally ran into my bedroom to the closet.

I grabbed some underwear and pyjamas and got dressed. After combing my hair back, I made my way to Catherine's room. There she lay... like a doll. You would have thought she was asleep, but unfortunately it was a damn deep sleep...

Soon... Soon we would have more answers.