Deserted (Shadow Beast Shifters Book 4)

We spent the next couple of moons in turbulent sands, but when we left the narrower section of the East River, everything evened out. Mera finally made her way back up to the main deck, looking relaxed and rested, despite the rough trip so far. She wore stretchy black tights, a long white shirt, and flat-heeled ankle boots. Her aura gently swirled around her, feeling stronger and more intense than ever, and I had a sense that this baby would soon be ready to enter the world.

“Hey,” I said, crossing to her side. “How are you feeling?” I’d been checking in on her periodically, but since Shadow was keeping her occupied, I’d probed through the bond first before knocking on their cabin door lest I find them both… busy.

‘Feeling fantastic now,” she said with enthusiasm. She nudged me toward the side of the ship, and we stared into the darkening sky where the blue of the dark-moon had replaced the reds and golds. ‘This is absolutely spectacular, right?’

Vast understatement. There was no comparison to the beauty of the deserts. We were not quite in the deep sands yet, so off to the east we could see the reds of Rohami spanning out like a giant sunset. There was no sign of life since that massive land was no more than thirty percent populated, and the only sound was the whirring on the energy engines below.

When Mera’d had enough standing, we made our way to a small bench tucked in along one side of the hull, taking a seat to catch up. “How’s our baby doing?” I asked.

‘Baby is as active as ever.” She laughed and somehow groaned at the same time. “Kicking me with enough force to bruise some ribs.’

‘Sounds about right,’ I said with a chuckle. ‘It’s a god baby, after all.’

Mera groaned again. ‘Don’t remind me. Shadow’s been trying to get me to leave all day, laying on the guilt.’ She lowered her voice dramatically. ‘They’ll hurt you for the baby’s power and you have another life to consider, in between him using his damn tongue as a weapon to cloud my mind.’

‘That also sounds about right,’ I said with another laugh. ‘Surprised he’s let you out of arm’s reach to sit here with me.’

She wasn’t out of his sight, though; Shadow and Reece were on the top deck, cutting imposing figures across the darkening horizon. The friends were chatting, but it was clear where both their focuses were: right on this bench.

‘He could be here in a heartbeat and we both know it, so I’m never really out of his arm’s reach.’

I turned back to Mera. ‘Doesn’t that bother you?’

She shrugged. ‘You know, I thought it would, but I actually want to be with him all the time. He gets me, and I feel complete when he’s nearby. In the end, Shadow can roar and throw fire and act like a possessive Neanderthal, but we all know I have the true power. He loves me, and I’ve never known another who’d work so hard to give me everything I’ve ever dreamed of or desired. What woman wouldn’t want to be worshipped by a dangerously gorgeous asshole of a man?’

Her words twirled through my mind, round and round, filling every thought as I tried to understand. A few moons ago I would not have been able to at all, but now… maybe I did get it. ‘I never thought I could exist like that,’ I told her softly, my gaze finding Reece again for a beat, “but since my rebirth, there’s a part of me that feels empty. A part that craves the connectedness I see between you and Shadow…’

‘But the independence you’ve clung to for centuries rejects the idea, making you feel like you’d be weak to allow that into your life?’ Mera took a fairly astute stab at the thoughts I hadn’t expressed. She pressed a hand to her chest. ‘I feel your battle here. In your energy. I know that you’re dancing around something with Reece, and I’m here to tell you that it isn’t a weakness to give yourself to another. It’s a strength to trust them in that way. It’s a strength to follow the instincts of your body and not deny what it needs.” Her lips tilted into a smirk. “And it’s definitely a strength to orgasm as many times as you did the other night and not have a heart attack.’

I jerked as my wide eyes met hers, and she lost her shit, laughing so hard. “Oh my gods!” More laughter. “Come on, Angel. You completely forgot we were bonded, didn’t you.”

Shit. It wasn’t that I’d forgotten, but I had expected her to shield like I did. ‘You’re not supposed to know. Our deal was very specific.’

At this point it was lucky she was a goddess who didn’t really need oxygen to breathe because she was laughing too hard to take a breath. ‘Girl!” she gasped before shaking her head until eventually she calmed. “Did you really think I wouldn’t feel it when you were in the midst of something so intense? Don’t you feel Shadow and me?’

I was so used to blocking her now, and it had been my mistake to assume she was doing the same. ‘Not anymore,’ I said with a shake of my head. ‘I’ve trained my energy to block you the moment I feel your lust rising. It happens without thought now, so I don’t catch the sexy times.’

Mera pressed her lips tightly together. ‘You must block me a lot then.’

‘It’s pretty much constant.’ My laughter finally spilled out as I leaned back into the wooden bench, feeling strangely more at peace now that Mera knew. ‘I don’t even know how it happened,’ I murmured.

She snorted. “Well, when a warrior angel and a broody desert god are hot as fuck, sometimes they end up with the big coc—”

“Shut up,” I spluttered. “I know how that part happened. What I meant was after all the centuries of anger and hate between us, it’s odd that he’s chosen now to claim me in the hope that we can quench the fire between us. Fires of hate as well as lust.”

Mera sobered, eyes darker than usual. “I was the catalyst, throwing you two together in a way you could no longer ignore. And once you open the gates, even if only a touch, the energy trickles through until it turns into a flood. You’ve just reached the point where neither of you can close the gates any longer.”

“You’re awfully intuitive for someone so young,” I said, reaching out to grasp her hand. “Guess it’s the old soul you possess.”

She gave my palm a tight squeeze. ‘It’s easy to look in from the outside. I’m not as close to this as you and Reece. I just think that you two insisted on ignoring the truth while you were super pissed at each other. The truth that, in the beginning, there was love. Reece is kidding himself if he thinks he can fuck you out of his system. You’re both kidding yourselves.’

Part of me hoped she was right, but I’d learned the hard way with Reece and hope. ‘I guess only time will tell,’ I conceded. ‘We’re giving this a shot, and when the dust settles on this battle, we’ll know the truth. We’ll move on.’

‘Sure, sure,” Mera chided. “I’ll place a bet on that not being the case.”

I glared playfully, hoping she didn’t bet anything too important on this relationship. It had been days with barely any contact between Reece and me, and I sensed that he was preparing himself for our inevitable parting. I should be doing the same, only I couldn’t manage to distance myself like I had in the past. As Mera had said, the floodgates were open.

‘Dinnertime!’ Len shouted across the decks, and at that, Mera jumped to her feet.

‘I’m freaking starving,’ she moaned, clutching her belly. The swollen section looked as if it was larger and hanging lower than it had been a few days ago, and as she hurried off, I hoped that I could be there when her baby arrived. I had never seen young born, and it felt like the sort of life-changing event I’d regret missing.

Especially since I’d never have it for myself.

I trailed Mera down the stairs into the main cabin, the guys leaving their stations to follow as well. We’d all gotten into a bit of a routine here, Reece steering, Alistair perched on the back deck communicating with the sand creatures while dousing himself in liquid, Galleli flying above when he could to scout ahead, and Len and Lucien moving back and forth across the main deck, clearly bored out of their minds.

Every dark-moon, though, we all ate together, family style.

Most of us were used to being alone for long periods, but this new tradition of eating at the long pamolsa-and-sand table was growing on all of us.

The dining section was the stern of the lower cabin, with the bow taken up by small cabins, a bathing area, and a galley with fire burners and liforina stores. The galley and each of the cabins had a round window, giving a glimpse of the deserts and sands beyond, but other than that, the only lighting in the lowest level came from desert lanterns, their heatless fires burning high.

Len, who had been our unofficial cook so far, was already at the table when the rest of us arrived. Dishes were laid across it, each with a similar array of food to what had been at the opening ceremony of the dynasty gathering. Mera was the first to sit, looking around expectantly. Her narrowed eyes urged the rest of us to get our shit together and sit so she could eat. I slipped in on her right, leaving the left for Shadow. Lucien was at the head, Len across from Mera, Galleli across from Shadow, and Alistair on my opposite side.

Reece took the other head of the table, which put him on my right, and as the blast of his power mingled with my own relatively cooler energy, I focused on the food. One hunger sated was better than none. ‘Your sands appear to be getting better at steering a ship,’ I said, hoping for normalcy.

‘I’ve upgraded them to a full license,’ he said with a smile.

I blinked. ‘When you joke with me, it really messes with my head.’

‘Ours too,’ half the table chorused, and I caught Mera’s smirk, which reminded me that we were not supposed to make our new arrangement public knowledge.

Turning away from Reece to focus on the food, I chose some gry fruit, having really developed a taste for it. After giving Mera a ripe piece, I placed another two on my plate. Shadow added some more foods to Mera’s plate, taking care of his mate, and all too soon she had more nourishment in front of her than two goddesses could eat.

Shadow’s protective instincts were stronger than ever, and I had a sense that when this baby was born, daddy beast was going to be a right pain in the ass.

‘Here,’ Reece said, distracting me. I looked down to find that he’d made me a yert, the Desert Land’s equivalent of a sandwich, filled with fried vegetables that grew under their trees. ‘You’re not eating enough.’

I blinked at the food, having no idea how to react to this gesture. He was acting like Shadow, and even if my first instinct was to reject it, expecting an ulterior motive, I decided it was time for us to change the narrative. ‘Thank you.’

His eyes widened, a flash of surprise slicing through them, but he didn’t question my compliance. Instead, we ate together in a comfortable silence with only occasional small talk around the table. There was proper nourishment for all of us in the supplies, including even the plasma beverage Lucien needed to renew his energy and the algae-type greens that Alistair consumed. Shadow didn’t eat, but he still sipped on his favorite drink: a blend of Earth’s finest whiskeys with some faerie spice to give it a kick.

It was a freaking picture-perfect family scene, and I knew that this was the calm before the storm. My senses were twitching, telling me that we were moving toward a disaster, and no matter how prepared I was, I couldn’t keep this ship from crashing into the rocks and scattering all of us into the deep sands.

Lost forever.