Deserted (Shadow Beast Shifters Book 4)

The men left after this, accompanying Reece to officially meet the princeps and hopefully do some preliminary sleuthing. Mera uncharacteristically didn’t argue with Shadow’s request to stay in the tent and get some rest. I stayed too since I’d mostly only come on this journey to keep her alive.

“You don’t usually do as you’re told,” I said, moving onto a pillow closer to her. She’d lain back at this point, her feet propped up as she crossed her hands over her stomach.

“Shadow has already given as much as he’s capable of,” she said with a sad half-smile. “I acknowledge the limits of my mate, and in this case, it wasn’t worth fighting him when this visit is about shaking hands and talking politics. Better that he can focus on that and not worry about me, especially when they’re hoping to flush out who we should be focusing our suspicions on.”

“Once the actual gathering gets underway, we’ll be out of this tent for most of the moon cycles,” I said. “Best to rest now.”

Mera nodded as she reached down to grab the sand-woven glass Shadow had left for her, filled with the slightly murky water of these lands. She took a drink, her nose wrinkling. “It has a weird taste but also reminds me of something,” she said before taking another sip.

“To my knowledge, it’s a lot like coconut water with extra minerals and electrolytes.”

She sipped again, nodding a few times. “Yes. That’s exactly what it reminds me of.” After her next drink, her eyes met mine over the rim of her glass. “Now that the guys are gone, are we going to talk about what happened in the library?”

I’d wondered how long it would take before she brought up that incident.

“Reece and I have a very long history, you know that,” I said with a sigh. “Len told me that the reason I’d been outcast from more than just Reece’s life was because that bastard forced them all to shun me. I just… Dammit, Meers. There’s just too much betrayal and anger on both sides.”

Her eyes widened, brow furrowing as she mulled this over before shaking her head. “He can be such a bastard at times. Why can’t he just get the hell over his grudge? You’ve told me bits and pieces, so I understand why he was initially upset. But it’s been centuries. I’m sure you’ve more than made up for whatever happened.”

“He doesn’t see it that way,” I murmured, staring toward the wall of the tent.

“Angel,” she said softly, and I once again gave her my focus. “I’m your best friend and bonded family. I think it’s time you tell me all the shit that went down between you two. Last time you just said family died and you bailed on a fight when you should have stayed, but I know there’s more to it.”

As much as I hated to relive the past, there was no way to avoid it while we were back here. Maybe it was time for Mera to know everything. “Reece and I met when we were both young,” I said with a long exhale, “when the worlds were much younger as well. Our families were old friends, powerful beings, and we all enjoyed our friendship for many decades before our parents were killed in the same battle.” I had to swallow a few times to find my next words. “After that, all we had was each other and one sibling each.”

The burn in my chest was rising, bringing with it the despair I’d tried so hard to suppress.

“Many years after our parent’s deaths, there was a war in the Delfora—the last time someone tried to raise the ancient gods.” I didn’t realize my hands were shaking until she reached out and took one, holding it tightly. Her firm pressure helped me keep my shit together.

“My sister and I came to fight, along with many others from Honor Meadows. This was an end-of-world battle, not my first and obviously not my last, but maybe the one that stuck with me the most.”

“Sister?” Mera breathed, her eyes shiny.

“She died.” Those two words stabbed into me. “She died in my arms, and I was alone. My family line all but wiped out.”

Mera’s eyes were wide and shiny as she pressed her free hand to her chest. “It’s a vastly different world, right? When you realize you’re walking it truly alone for the first time.”

Young or not, she’d just hit the nail on the head. “Yes. It changed everything. Part of me died that day on the battlefield too—at the very moment my sister closed her eyes and never opened them again.”

“Surely Reece could understand why you left after that!” Mera demanded, pushing her sadness aside in favor of annoyance.

“You have to understand,” I told her, “that when my sister died, I inherited the mantle of my family’s power. I had so much under my control that there was a possibility I could have ended it all where we stood. Reece asked me to stay, to fight with him, and I fled. His brother was injured some days later, and I heard that he was never the same until he died a few years after the battle. So, yeah, the battle was won, but not without many losses first.”

“Angel,” Mera breathed. “You were broken and grieving. I know that within your power you feel your family, so using it all then would have been like losing them again.”

I buried my face in my hands, trying to comprehend her limitless empathy and understanding. If only I could have been so kind to myself. “I should have been stronger,” I said, lifting my head again.

“Yes, you should have.”

We both jerked our heads toward the doorway to find Reece crowding the space, his face hard and unreadable. I was on my feet in an instant, fury and pain warring inside of me as I desperately wished I had the power to make him disappear. Forever.

“Screw you, Reece,” I rumbled, the vibration of my energy riding each word. “My power would have been lost, my family line gone, and I couldn’t… I couldn’t release them. Not when I knew that if you just kept fighting, you could beat them anyway.”

I’d calculated the odds of them winning and gone with my gut.

Reece seemed almost stunned as he remained there, blocking the doorway completely to prevent any other from entering. “You were guessing,” he finally said. “When you left, the battle could have gone either way.”

“No,” I shook my head. “I wouldn’t have left you if I’d thought you were truly in mortal danger. Despite everything, you can trust me on that. But the truth is, you asked for too much in my grief. You pushed me when I was fragile and broken; don’t be surprised that I shattered.”

This was the moment, a chance we could move forward. A chance for Reece to stop punishing me for one knee-jerk reaction a millennia ago.

He examined me closely, and I found myself holding my breath in anticipation of what he might say next. “You were my best friend,” he started, voice a low rumble, “the one I thought would stand by my side through everything. The way you stood by Mera. The way you sacrificed yourself for her.”

He finally moved, stepping into the room—into my personal space so he could crowd over me. “I’d thought there was nothing I could be angrier with you for than what happened in the Delfora long ago, but it turned out, there was. Our last battle.”

I blinked, confused by this rapid change of subject, and tried to read between the lines, as I often had to do with Reece. “You’re mad about the last battle too?”

He was close now as he reached out to touch my face, only I jerked away before he could. “You died,” he bit out, breaths harsh and broken. “You will never sacrifice yourself again.”

Hot energy seeped from him as rage coated the tented area, and I could taste his earthy power on my tongue. He was on the edge of losing control, and I had no idea how to bring him back.

“Reece.” This rumble came from Shadow, who must have come to check on us too. “Tell them what we learned and walk away.”

The desert god ignored him, his hyperfocus remaining on me. We’d broken the dam after all of these years, releasing the emotions, and now neither of us knew how to stuff them back in.