Deliver Us Huis

After a long sleepless night, I tried to immerse myself in my daily routine.

The truth was, no matter how much I wanted to help people I had no idea how to best go about that. I wished I could forget about the horrors. It would have been easy to shed a few tears, and then turn back to my life.

But I couldn’t do that, not when people were suffering.

With the images of the poor children, the screaming mother, and dead father filling my mind I gave up on any semblance of a normal morning.

Next to my favorite chair sat my well-worn journal. I turned to the last page that I had written:

People love to draw together facts and make a conclusion. It makes them feel smart, important, and needed. If you control the facts to lead to an obvious conclusion, then people will latch on to that conclusion. Once they reach that conclusion, they plan their cause of action.

If, then, you control the facts to lead to an obvious conclusion, you can then control the actions of people. Power is found in controlling what people perceive, not actuality.

I sighed. Things often looked so simple on paper. Plans, facts, graphs, they all seemed so simple and clear cut. Life; however, is much messier than plans on paper. I grabbed a pen and started to write.

Planning is the key to success. If you don’t know what to do, you cannot succeed. To truly succeed at anything, you need a plan, otherwise you will simply be tossed through situations, unknowing what you should do. To have the upper hand you must always be the one in a situation to have a plan. If you have a plan, you have the upper hand on your enemy.

Likewise, you must always have power to enact your plan. It is useless to have a plan which you cannot enact. You must always know your power, and how to use it.

If you have a plan, and power to enact your plan, you must then be sure your enemy has no way which he can destroy your plan or the power behind it. Always alter and fortify your plan, till there are no weak points which the enemy can attack. If you do this you will succeed.

I threw my journal to the floor. It was useless. I could stay up here generalizing about grand schemes and plans for the future, but it wouldn’t help my people.

I buried my head in my hands, trying to think. What could I do? Who exactly did I want to help? I retrieved my journal and flipped through it, looking for past insights until I found a page that seemed to echo my thoughts.

When planning it is essential that everything is well thought out and the goal is clear. If one has a goal to work for, it is much more achievable than a vague principle of mind. Goals should be clear and specific. They should always be something you can achieve, if anything relies on chance, or uncertainties the plan should be fixed or scrapped.

A plan should always have a clear goal, and that goal should always be achievable through the plan.

To make a goal you should clarify what you want. From there you shall have to find a goal that’s plan will make your desires come about.

What did I want? I flipped to another page and started scribbling:

1. I want to always have the power to help someone in need

2. I want to always have the power to protect myself

3. I want the slave trade to stop

4. I want a better economy for the people

5. I want to stop the suffering of my people, and for their lives to be better

I groaned. How could I possibly make all of these things come about? I could do nothing if I entered politics, the current system was so terrible, nothing was ever done. Our politicians claimed to be making changes, but instead all that came about was bickering over proposed changes, never change itself.

All the while problems tended to get worse instead of better.... which led to more arguments.

Politics wouldn’t change anything.... But could I do something with my inheritance? The Levs my deceased parents had left to me was more than I would ever need.

But there was only so much. Money could help, but after it was gone, it was gone.

I looked out the window of my room. My apartments hovered roughly a kilometer above the city, held in place by a thin pole. The view of the city below was sometimes blurred by city smog, but today the view was rather clear.

If I looked into the distance I could see down to the more run down part of the city where I had been earlier today. Even from a distance its very presence seemed dismal and depressing.

In a city full of people, how could they not work harder for change? Could they not see the brokenness of their very lives? How could they stay remaining uncaring of the people around them?

They lived, they worked, they died. What was it to them that some spent lives of misery in the slave trade? What was it to them that daily people were dying, leaving their cold dismal lives?

Did they all sit, day after day, taking pleasure in the things that delighted them, closing their eyes to the pain of others? Did they live happy that their lives were at least better than others?

How could they live taking comfort in the few small pleasures life afforded? How could they live, taking pleasure and waiting for death? Did they ever think of those around them? Did they care if they left life without an impact on the people around them?

Did anyone care at all anymore?

I felt my cheeks heat.

Who was I to judge? Did I do any different?

I shook my head. Nothing. I did nothing. I had helped none of these people, made no impact on their lives...on anyone’s life.

I, who had so much to give, had done nothing with my life.

That would all have to change. I didn’t want to be like the crowd, willing to blend in. Willing to wait my turn for death to take me out of this misery of a life. I would not just survive. I would change this planet. I would make an impact.

If only I could figure out how.

I closed my journal and walked to the floor length window. The sun was setting, casting a dismal glow over the city. And down below people hurried, going home, where they would sleep, only to come back to their jobs again.

And on and on the cycle would go until death claimed them.

I watched out the window until the sun went down, the city lights came on, and all that I could see was the dim lights of the speeders rushing along the street below. I pulled the curtains back into their places, so I couldn’t see the thousands of lives being lived below me.