Death's Saviour

Author's Song of the Chapter: Without Me by Dua Lip

I run through the forest as my chest aches due to my now booming heart, it’s beating and it fucking hurts. Noah judged me, I saw what went through his mind. He questioned my heartlessness as a consequence of my unnatural return to life. Dead is dead right? I know, I know how the movies work. I know when someone comes back from the dead only bad things happen, they tend to be different, empty and soulless. I already went through that stage. Noah looked at me like I was still that person like I was a monster, that hurt me. I am a monster, I kill people and I’m never going to lie about the part of me that seriously enjoys it. But the people I kill deserve everything that I do to them.

’Even Fiona?’ A small voice whispers in the back of my mind as I try to shove the thought away because I already know that answer, no, Fiona didn’t deserve what I did to her.

Crane deserved what killing Fiona did to him, it broke his heart because he loved her, and I killed her for it like he took mom and dad from me. My own brother, he is the monster. Anger and rage pump through me along with hurt that stings my veins until I can’t contain it anymore as a howl bursts forth from my lips. I’m putting wall ups, no one will knock them down, there is no more Noah. Noah may be my mate but he means nothing to me, he is a pitiful excuse of a wolf, he is weak. As soon as I think those thoughts I regret them because they are all lies, still, I can’t let him hurt me. I need to forget about him and continue with my purpose of getting revenge on Crane. My purpose, the thought of it makes me laugh now because it really wasn’t worth bringing me back for. Noah was becoming my purpose, then he let me down. I let my paws carry me as I think I should go back to Lora, I should talk to her to get her advice and get my head on straight. I can’t shut Noah out, I need him, and I’ll have to forgive him eventually. Not yet, not now. I move and my paws carry me to another familiar scent, I’m outside of Perry’s house, maybe I can talk to him, he could be a good friend if I could just overlook the creepy feeling he gave me this afternoon. I come to the window that carries his scent the most, I peer inside and it is a masculine looking bedroom. Suddenly I see him typing away at his computer with a book open beside him, he must be doing homework. I knock on the window lightly with my nose, it sends him jumping from his seat and spinning around. Perry stands wide-eyed as he looks out his window and right at me. I wait for him to recognize me, I see the exact moment he does as his eyes go a tick wider and a smile spreads across his face. He crosses his room opening the window for me, I squeeze my body through the frame.

“Dusk?” Perry asks as I sit on my haunches on the floor of his room.

I nod my head as he looks at me, the knowledge that it is me seems to make him smiley. I nudge his dresser before moving into his closet when he doesn’t get the idea. The first baggy sweater I come across I lightly tug down with my teeth, I’ve never been embarrassed about nakedness as a werewolf but at this moment it feels so wrong for Perry to see me naked. Perry moves quickly to get the sweater free from the hanger for me before handing it to me as I turn and shift slipping it on quickly. My nose wrinkles as I take in the scent that isn’t Noah’s. When I’m dressed and Perry turns back around his eyes are wide as I settle on his bed. He closes up his book and sets his computer under his bed for safekeeping.

“What are you doing here?” Perry questions me in a concerned voice.

“Noah and I learned a lot today. But then he judged me. I need a friend.” I tell Perry simply.

“Noah is an idiot if he doesn’t see you and your life for how exceptional it is!” Perry exclaims giving my shoulder a friendly squeeze and his words are weird.

“I don’t blame him, Perry, he only told the truth. My life is not to be admired, I am here for revenge. I kill people to get it, I killed Fiona to hurt Crane, then I blew up the church with his uncle inside. I’m not a hero, I’m the devil’s child.” I whisper my own words slicing myself open.

“You do what you are meant to do Dusk, you have the destiny to fulfill and you are the only one strong enough to walk that path. If Noah can’t understand that then he isn’t strong enough to be the one walking it by your side!” Perry’s words seem wise as they make me feel better.

“How do you seem to understand this so well?” I ask Perry curiously noting that he swallows as little beads of sweat spring upon his hairline.

“I’ve always been interested in you wolves, I like to do my research. I did my research on you Dusk the Hellhound, you intrigue me.” Perry tells me his voice mostly honest.

“I shouldn’t, I’m just a girl who should be dead.” I sigh before dropping the sweater as I shift curling up on the floor signifying I’m done with the conversation. Perry doesn’t complain as he undresses climbing into his bed and easily falling asleep. I fall into a nightmare tormented sleep, I dream of Noah and how it could be if he could shift. Noah and I could have a life together, a family, we could be true mates. The dream makes me ache more as my soul breaks.

…

It’s been a week since I’ve seen Noah and I’m not myself. I don’t have the urge to do much other than keep to the forest. I’m currently curled up near a stream watching the fish flash by in the water.

“Dusk?” Carl’s voice startles me as I jump to my paws and he appears behind me.

“What do you want?” I ask as I shift.

“Two things, one I want to talk and two I need to tell you about Perry’s past,” Carl states as he watches me.

“If talking about you means you’re coming out to me I already know,” I tell Carl and he flinches making me feel mean because I was being cruel.

“Thanks, yes I’m gay but no that’s not what this is about.” Carl laughs and I’m glad I didn’t hurt his spirit.

I settle down on a rock preparing myself to listen to what Carl obviously feels is important.

“Talk,” I state opening up the avenue of conversation for Carl.

“I’m a wolf Dusk, I’ve always known my adoptive parents made sure of that. I’m telling you this because I want, I need you to understand that you aren’t alone. I’m hoping that because I’ve always felt my wolf pressing me because I’ve had to suppress it that I could one day still shift. I’m hoping I’m not like Noah. However, if I am that means we will both get sick from being around one of our own kind. Dusk I need you to promise me something if that happens!” Carl speaks urgently and I blink as I take this news in.

I’m not alone, not like I always believed I would be. There are wolves like me out there who just have hidden or don’t know what they are. This is a big revelation. I realize I’ve been silent for a moment too long when Carl crouches in front of me, his eyes pleading with mine.

“What do you need?” I ask even though I already know what Carl wants from me.

“I need you to bite me if I don’t shift on my own. I know how dangerous it is and I know how Noah will feel about it. I know when it comes down to it that Noah won’t want you to do and he won’t do it himself. I need you to promise me that if I’m dying you’ll bite me despite what Noah wants.” Carl proceeds and I put my head in my hands because Carl is asking me to go against what Noah will want.

Breathing deeply I look up at Carl meeting his eyes and holding his gaze, I look into his soul. Blinking I glow my eyes and I can see the wolf beneath his skin, a strong, proud creature. I blink again as I see Carl, I see his hope. This is going to get me in so much trouble but I believe in.

“If the time comes I promise you I’ll bite you and give you that chance even though it will get me in deep trouble with Noah,” I reply to Carl holding my pinky out to him.

Carl smiles as he connects his pinky with mine as we create this terrible promise. The act garners a laugh from both of us as we settle back.

“Now tell me about Perry’s past,” I command, Carl loses his happy look.

“Perry is obsessed with you wolves, he always has been. He wants nothing more than to be a wolf and that wouldn’t be a problem if it weren’t for the way he went about it. The reason Perry was transferred to our school is to avoid having charges pressed against him for kidnapping and holding a young she-wolf captive, Perry’s official statement when it came to the charge was he did it to better himself. The girl was seven and tortured, she was an alpha heir to her families pack down in the states. I’m afraid Perry doesn’t just want to be a wolf, he wants that power and he is willing to go to lengths to get it. That’s not all, Perry seeks a mate who is as powerful and ambitious as he is because he truly believes he is just a wolf in waiting, when you came along he found that. Dusk I’m worried that he is going to try something with you in order to get you to change him and become his. I’m telling you this because I want you to be careful around him, he’s unstable.” Carl explains his features truly worried as my stomach churns with the need to vomit.

I’ve heard of this story, it circled wide but names were never mentioned. I even considered taking a detour with my revenge in order to kill such a demon. Carl left out some important parts of the story. Perry never planned on getting caught, he planned on keeping this girl until she bit him then he was going to keep her as his mate, he raped her. Perry is a sick, sick person. The poor girl was branded and tortured to the point that she later committed suicide due to the trauma of such an event. I scramble off the rock as my stomach rises and I vomit into the bushes. After wiping my mouth I turn to Carl.

“Perry is sick, I’ll be letting him know that. I need to think about this, he deserves death but I don’t think I can do that to Noah right now.” I tell Carl before I shift and take off into the forest.

I need to clear my mind as my stomach continues to roll, I’ve been hanging out at a psychopath's house. Now I need to detach myself from him in a way that does it once and for all.