Dear Heart, You Screwed Me

Eyes stinging, red and swollen, my nose streaming as I stepped out of bed and walked towards the hotel door. Rubbing my nose with a tissue, I looked through the peep hole to see Connie standing on the other side with a bucket of Champagne and two glasses. Rolling my eyes but smiling, I unchained the door and opened it.

Sniffling, I held my hand up to wave.

“Oh my god, Reese, what’s happened?” her voice was panicked as she placed the champagne on the side table just inside the door before her arms wrapped around me and held me.

“I’m okay, I’ve just finished watching a film.” I muttered, my voice thick with sadness as the tears sprung to my eyes again.

“Are you psycho?” she pushed back out of the embrace; her fingers still firmly curled round the top of my arms, “You chose to put yourself through this absolute misery?!” her voice getting higher as her eyes bounce between mine. “There is enough shit and upset in the world but yet, here you are, sitting in a dark room bawling to a film that you chose to watch!”

“It helps.” I shrug not wanting to elaborate anymore on it. Turning on my heel and walking back to my bed, I flick the tele over and let old friends re-runs play in the background as I clear my bed picnic for Connie.

“Looks like you have had a right good time.” Her voice was laced with sarcasm.

I scoffed.

“Don’t judge.” My eyes narrowed on her, before I broke into a smile.

“No judging here baby girl, just observing.” She nodded firmly before winking. A small laugh bubbled out of me as I felt the bed dip slightly when she knelt on it.

“Champagne?” she asked, her eyes widening with happiness as she held the bottle up.

I nodded.

Why the fuck not.

I had just broken my heart all over again and Champagne always seemed like a good idea after heartbreak.

“That’s my girl.” Connie sung as she popped the cork which caused a small, excited scream to leave her.

I giggled, grabbing a glass and putting it under the foam that bubbled out of the top.

Licking my fingers from the excess spillage, I bought the glass to my lips and took a large mouthful, humming in appreciation at the taste.

It was delicious.

I watched as Connie placed the ice bucket on the floor and plopped the bottle back inside. She grabbed her phone, smiling like a lovesick teen as her fingers danced across the screen. The annoying tapping filling the air.

“Who you texting?” I asked, leaning across and nosing at her phone screen.

She didn’t hide her messages; I could see it was Kieran.

“Going well then?”

“At the moment.” She shrugged her shoulders up nonchalantly before throwing the phone on the duvet.

“Have you messaged Colt? You know, a second test drive…”

“No.” I shook my head “Just no. Not for me.” I turned my nose up in disgust.

“Okay, we will find you a new guy to hump.”

I choked on my mouthful of champagne, spitting it back into my glass.

“Oh Reese,” Connie spat. “This is expensive champagne that I stole from downstairs, don’t waste it.” She tsked.

I rolled my eyes are her, “Twat.” I muttered under my breath.

“A what?” she furrowed her perfectly smooth forehead.

“A twat.”

“What language is that?” she sounded so confused, her brows digging in, her lips curling in distaste.

“It’s English,” I laughed hard, “it means a stupid or obnoxious person…” I muffled my laugh as I took a mouthful of my backwashed champagne. Disgusting.

“Rude.” She snorted before drinking her own champagne.

The silence crackled between us for a moment as we both watched the tele.

“So, tell me about this film, why was it so sad?” she asked, her eyes still glued to Friends.

“Young lovers, they have a lot going against them in the beginning,” I sniff, my voice thick as I try to ignore the ever-growing lump in my throat. I continue telling Connie all about it, skimming over certain details. Connie just stares at me wide-eyed as she listens. I sniffle, my breath shuddering as I tell her about the ending, my lip trembles as the ending of the film replayed over and over in my head.

“That sucks.” Connie spits, her hand slapping into the duvet.

I nod, finishing the mouthful of Champagne that is left in the bottom of the glass.

“It’s tragic, but also beautifully comforting.” I continue nodding.

“What happened to girl meets man, they fall in love, the end!” she rambles, her hand flying in the air as she does. “That’s what you want right? You want to meet the man of your dreams, fall in love, get married and have loads of kiddies before growing old together.” Her voice speeding up.

“Life doesn’t work like that,” I muttered, a small sigh escaping me, twirling my empty glass on my thigh as I sit for a moment.

“It does, that’s what all of them romance novels I read say… and what about Cinderella and Snow White?”

“They’re just fairy tales, fairy tales aren’t real.” Inhaling a deep, sharp breath. My tone was harsh, but I didn’t want Connie thinking life was as simple as that.

“How do you know?” Her brows furrowed, pulling away from me slightly.

“Because they’re not, they’re just that. Fairy tales.” I snap.

“Hello, my name is Reese, killer of dreams.” She snarls, jabbing her finger to me.

“Not a killer of dreams, just letting you know that life is a bitch and not a fucking fairy tale.”

She rolls her eyes and falls into the pillows, huffing as her body sinks into the feather down pillows.

“Sorry sweetie, but it’s the truth. Ain’t no prince on a white horse coming to save you.”

“What happened to you to make you think like that?”

I stilled for a moment, swallowing as I tried to make some saliva in my mouth to coat the dryness.

“Something that I hope you never have to go through.” I whispered as I laid next to her, praying she didn’t ask what happened.

“What happened?” her head turned to the side as she looked at me, but I couldn’t look at her. My eyes were pinned to the ceiling of the hotel room as I took in all the detail. I felt a single tear run down my cheek and dissolve into the pillow underneath my head.

“I lost the love of my life,” I just about managed to speak out, my voice cracking.

I heard the gasp that left her, her hand reaching across and resting over the top of mine on my stomach. I knew she wanted to say something, but she didn’t have the words, she didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay,” I smile softly, another tear rolling past my lashes.

We didn’t speak for what felt like forever, we just lay side by side, hand in hand as I cried silent tears. A heavy weight lifting from my chest after telling Connie that I had lost Elijah, even if it was a small bit of information. It was still something new that I had been able to do.

I know we hadn’t known each other long, but I never wanted to know what it was like to not have her in my life.

She came into my life for a reason, my guardian angel.

Hopefully my Elijah sent her to me.

I needed a best friend, and Connie was just that.

My best friend.