Dear Heart, You Screwed Me

Once everyone had gone, me and Connie began cleaning up the hall. My mum and dad had headed back to the apartment for a lay down. They got in early this morning and was crashing in the hotel where Connie worked.

“You don’t have to stay,” Connie chimed as she swept up the pink confetti that was all over the wooden floor.

“Of course, I’ll stay. I’m not going to let you tidy by yourself,” I laughed, but all I wanted to do was curl up on my sofa and cry.

I felt like he had broken my heart all over again and I was over it.

I bagged the empty cups and plates into a trash bag, trying to ignore the internal battle with myself. I was arguing at why he didn’t turn up, there must have been some hell of a reason, but then again… he was a prick for not showing.

Me and Connie were chatting as we finished up with the hall when we heard banging footsteps from outside. Both our heads snapped towards the door when we saw the double doors of the hall fly open. Killian’s eyes finding mine instantly, his breath heaving and ragged as he looked around the now empty room. His hand flew to his hair, tugging at the root. His face fell, his eyes glossy as they burned into mine once more. His lips pressed into a thin line, his hand falling from his hair as both of his arms fell to the side of his body. I heard the choke of a groan leave him when he realised he had fucked up.

I couldn’t tear my gaze from him, the burn in my throat was unbearable as I tried to swallow it away but it wouldn’t budge. I had never felt disappointment like I did at this moment, and it was soul destroying.

Connie stood next to me, her eyes trying to read my blank expression. I was sure I was drawing blood from the inside of my cheek as I bit hard to stop myself from crumbling into a mess on the floor. I’m sure you could hear my heart cracking as each tense second ticked by.

Her eyes moved from my face once she knew I was ready to stand my own against him. She stormed over to him, flicking her hair over her shoulder in a dramatic way as she stopped in front of him.

“You messed up… big time!” she snapped at him as she knocked her petite frame into him and continued to walk.

Now it was just me and him.

I could see the hollowness in his eyes, he was beating himself up over this.

I dropped the rubbish bag to the floor, crossing my arms across my chest as I stood my ground. If he thought I was going to accept his apology and let him be forgiven easily then he was wrong.

I could hold a grudge. I was as stubborn as a mule. My lips twitched, my eyes glaring at him. I swear if looks could kill he would be six feet under. Neither of us wanted to make the first move. He stood there defeated, I could see it in his eyes. He was racked with guilt, he couldn’t even keep eye contact with me for more than a second without looking at the floor.

Enough was enough. I shook my head from side to side, reaching down and grabbing the rubbish bag as I stormed towards the doors of the hall. I wasn’t standing here playing mind games, he was in the wrong.

My heart thudded loudly in my ears as I closed the gap between us, his eyes were steady now and pinned to me. His face didn’t falter, his gaze locked on me.

Holding my breath, it took everything in me to ignore the powerful magnetic pull that I felt every time I was near him. As soon as I stepped one foot past him, he spun, grabbing the top of my arm and pulling me back towards him. I dropped my head back as he pushed me against the wall, pinning me there.

“Get off of me,” I spat through gritted teeth. My blood was pumping, the rage brewing as he stopped me from getting to where I needed to be.

“No,” he whispered, his voice barely audible.

“Killian, I am serious,” I growl, my small hands pressing against his chest as I shove him off me.

He stood still, not moving an inch which wound me up even more. I shoved him again.

“Reese,” his tone was sharp as he edged closer to me.

“Fuck you,” I spat shoving him again. It felt good to let the anger out, the deep rage that had been brewing inside of me since this morning finally surfacing. But it wasn’t just the rage of today, it was the anger and hurt that he had put me through from the moment I met him. I continued shoving him, him finally faltering a few steps backwards before lunging himself at me, his hands gripping and clasping my face as he tried to press his forehead against mine. I pulled back, I didn’t want him close to me. Lifting my arm, I slapped his face hard. The sound of my palm on his cheek echoed around the small hall. His head turned to the side from the force of the slap. He scoffed a laugh, rubbing his lower lip with his index finger and thumb. I was panting, my eyes wide as I watched his eyes darken, his jaw ticked as his eyes roamed over me. I felt my skin prick and tingle before the shivers skimmed over my skin like pure silk. The butterflies flurried in my stomach, the intense heat spreading over me and that delicious, wanting ache in my pussy was evident.

He rushed towards me, his hands on my face, my arms round his neck as he lifted me up as if I weighed of air. His teeth grazed against my jaw line, my lips parting as a gasp left me when he hit my back against the wall.

“Reese,” he groaned as his lips trailed down to my neck, biting and sucking on my skin.

“Yes,” I whispered, my teeth sinking into my bottom lip as his hands made quick work of pushing my dress round my waist and slipping my knickers to the side. I clung onto him as he unbuckled his belt from his suit trousers, fisting his thick cock and slamming inside of me.

The delicious burn of him filling me was indescribable. It was so right, but so very wrong. I had been craving him for months. His hips thrust into me fast and hard, his cock slipping in and out of my soaked pussy.

I moaned, my sex tightening around him already.

“Fuck, you feel so good,” he groaned, his mouth covering mine as our lips locked and our tongues danced. His hands clung to under my bum, spreading me a little more as he hit me deeper now, the tip of his cock stroked my g-spot, my orgasm building.

“I’m so close,” I whispered against his mouth, my teeth sinking into his bottom lip. He was so deep, but I needed him deeper. I rocked my hips forward, meeting his thrusts. My pussy clenched round him before my orgasm shattered through me fast and without warning. I screamed out as it hit me like a freight train. Killian’s hand wrapped over my mouth, drowning my moans out as he found his own release, filling me. His head dropped forward, pressing his forehead against mine as we both panted, trying to catch our breaths.

“Reese,” his voice was soft, his fingers brushing some hair that had falling into my eyes.

I pulled back, wiggling out of his grip and pulling my dress down.

“Where are you going?” I heard Killian call out, I heard the buckle of his belt hitting as he ran towards me.

“Home,” I snarled, grabbing the rubbish bag and storming for the door.

“Reese, don’t go!” he bellowed, I heard him fumble over his own feet. I stayed strong, storming for the door and letting it shut on him.

I dumped the bag in the bin and continued out to the streets. Killian was hot on my tail, but I wasn’t going to stop. The streets were busy, the spring air beginning to chill as the sun began to set. I rushed through Central Park, I didn’t know where I was really heading but I just knew I needed the air in my lungs, I needed to feel the chill on my skin to slap be back to reality before I got clouded by Killian and the lust that he made me feel. I wasn’t silly. I knew what I felt for him was so much more than lust, but I didn’t want to get myself wrapped up in what I really felt.

I felt a tug on my wrist as Killian spun me round to face him.

“Stop running from me,” he panted, his eyes volleying back and forth from mine. My brows pinched slightly, my lips curling into a sarcastic smile as I scoffed a laugh.

“I’m not running.” I tugged my arm from his firm grip, “I am going home.” I rolled my eyes, shaking my head from side to side as I turn to continue walking.

“What is happening? I thought we had sorted out the animosity between us back at the hall?” his voice was like nails on a chalkboard, it done something to me. I stopped dead in my tracks, smirking as I licked my top lip before I turned to face him.

“Sorry?” I pouted, not quite sure if I had just heard him right.

“Back at the hall… was that not a make-up fuck?” he looked round his surroundings sheepishly as he lowered his voice.

I tipped my head back, a deep laugh leaving me. It wasn’t a giggle, it wasn’t a chuckle it was full blown hysteria that ripped through me.

“So, you think not turning up to your baby’s gender reveal and your baby mama’s birthday party is all forgiven because you gave me an orgasm?” I snapped, not giving two hoots how loud my voice was and who was standing in ear shot. “I was that horny, anyone could have got me off,” I bit at him.

He stood frozen, his mouth dropping open at my words. Turning quickly, I continued walking through to the park and in the direction of my home.

Hopefully Killian got the message.

I didn’t want to speak to him.

Once I was out of the park, I looked over my shoulder to see that he wasn’t following. I instantly felt relief sweep over me. I heard my phone beep in my cross-body bag. I unzipped it quickly to see Connie’s name flashing on the screen.

“Hey,” I breathed as I held my hand up to signal a taxi.

“Did you sort it? Sorry I just left you, but I was so angry,” she huffed, I could hear clattering behind her.

“Not really,” my voice was low.

“Oh,” she fell silent for a moment, I could hear her breathing quicken down the phone, “well, I don’t blame you to be honest. He has a lot of grovelling to do.” I could hear the smile in her voice.

“He really does. If he thinks that he can waltz into the hall and try and charm me thinking I’ll forgive him… then well, he has another thing coming.”

Connie laughed, agreeing with me.

“You tell him boo. Anyway, I’ve got to go. I am cooking dinner for my moms and Tryst.”

“No worries love, I’ll speak to you tomorrow,” I said, wishing her a goodnight and hanging up the phone. Unstrapping my seatbelt as I saw my apartment block approach, I pulled out the notes from my purse and slipped them through the small opening for the driver.

“Have a nice evening,” I called out as I climbed out of the taxi, closing the door behind me. Frank wished me good evening, I just nodded sweetly before walking towards the lift. I felt a spike of anxiety course through me at the thought that he would show up while my parents were in my apartment. I really didn’t need the drama tonight; I didn’t want this to be the first time that my parents met the father of their granddaughter.

Once the lift doors opened on my floor, I held my breath as I walked towards my apartment when I saw Killian standing outside the door of my home.

“Not today, Satan,” I shook my head furiously side to side, “this isn’t happening.” I moved my index finger between me and him as I closed the gap between us.

“Reese, just give me an hour to explain…” he pleaded with me. I could hear the guilt in his voice and it broke my heart but I couldn’t do this tonight.

“No,” I whispered, slipping past him and standing by my front door. “Today was supposed to be a happy day Killian. A day for us to share with our friends and family, a day to celebrate my birthday and yet it’s a day now filled with upset. I will always remember this day as the day you broke your promise to me.” My voice cracked, needles pricking behind my eyes as the tears began to pool. Slipping my key into the lock, I heard it unlock. “It’s too late, I don’t want excuses. I wanted you there with me today, beside me.” I dropped my head as I looked at the floor, my stomach coiling, “But you couldn’t do that, because we weren’t important enough to you.” I lifted my head slowly as our eyes connected, I could see the pain and anguish that was flickering through his brown eyes. I could see this was hurting him. “And I’m sorry Killian, but me and your daughter don’t deserve to be second best,” I sighed, “the only time that us being second best is okay, is if it’s because of Connie.” My gaze penetrated his.

“You screwed me, I screwed you, we screwed each other.” I could hear the exasperation in my voice. I twisted the door handle to let myself into my apartment. “Goodbye, Killian,” I whispered through the tears that began to fall, shutting the door on him and slipping the safety chain across. I waited a moment for my heart to stop racing before sliding down the door, bringing my knees to my chest and sobbing.